Monday, October 11, 2010

wash me down...

so it's getting cooler out.  the grass isn't growing as fast. the leaves will start to turn soon. as the season changes, so do the outside activities.

i'm trying to remember the last time i washed my car. my car is white, so it gets dirty when the wind blows. and i've completely neglected to show my car some wash, wax, and shine love.

i remember back in the day. when i was younger. washing the car was a whole day activity. i'd get up. get dressed, just to walk out into my driveway, strip down to a pair of basketball shorts and put on a show for the neighborhood ladies. yes...washing my car was like porn in the driveway for the ladies. they'd come out, strike up conversation. act like they were checking their mail. just stand in the middle of the lawn like a garden gnome. those were the days. now if i attempted to do that today...the ladies would run back in the house, draw the curtains, cover their kids eyes, and probably run outside with a blanket for me to cover up.

yes, i could still make driveway would probably have a special category "out-of-shape midget" porn. needless to say, the days of me standing outside half clothed, muscles/abs glistening, suds & water all over me are over. pretty much cause my muscles/abs are in hibernation, they'll be back tho, soon. maybe.

so i guess my question now is.."who washes their cars themselves anymore?" what happen to those days where you showed you car some "self love". most people, either don't wash their car, take it through a car wash, pay someone else, or wait to get a courtesy wash at the dealership. no one physically washes their car anymore. what's up with that? i never see anyone washing their car in their driveway. i don't even see little kids washing their parents car. or the football team at the high school doing it to raise money.

the self serve car wash is vacant like a ghost town. no more are the blaring radios and guys blocking the vacuum machines for 2 hours while they clean and shine their rims & tires. no more is there a line at the "change machine" of people complaining the machine only gave them 3 quarters. or the old cranky man walking around making sure you're not filling a bucket with water to prevent adding .25 cents every 2 minutes so you can add 30secs. to stop the water from running out and having to pay $2.50 to start it back up from the start. we'd rather pay our amigos down at the car wash, the brothers in the parking lot of a restaurant/gas station with their "mobile detail" cars, or the companies charging crazy stupid amounts to wash & spray the same shit you could buy at walmart for $1.35.  what has happened to us people?

we got to get back to porn in our driveways.  i command you all to go out and wash your cars this week.  go make love to your car &wash it down...

[october challenge: day#11]


sunshinestar110 said...

porn in the driveway! lol..that was a great way to put it. I guess my parents must live in one of those neighborhoods because every time i go over there is somebody is in the driveway washing away...but not I...i just don't have that type of time and what if I sweat and my hair its damp or worse the water gets my hair wet?!? bueno!...I guess it would save $$ to do so but i just can't mess with that no more.

Epitome said...

I still wash my car! Not as often as I should but I do! I wouldn't consider it drive way porn seeing as though I'm so effin clumsy that is unless you like seeing a girl spray water in her eye and run screaming from bugs then I'm your girl! But yes I wash Niecy up, wax her down, shine up her tires and clean my interior making sure to clean the steering wheel (because I hate seeing folks with all that dirt build up on it blech) and spray coconut spray on my vaccumed carpets...I try to treat my ar nice so she'll do the same for me.

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@sunshinestar110: stop worrying about sweating your hair out or getting wet..that's the sexiest part. *handing you the "get wet & be sexy" handbook of washing cars*

@epitome: oh oh..look at you. and yes..clumsy is the new seduction. how bout you come over and wash my car for seductive, clumsy, water in eye, running from a bug screaming woman you..

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

You see those Cubans on the side of the road? *hands them $$ and sits in the shade* I had enough of washing cars in school for fundraisers. Point blank, I can't be bothered with it! BUT I will vaccuum and clean the inside out. I can't stand to be in a car that looks lived in.