manfive friday #60

all hail the "jump offs", "side pieces", the "other women",  the "mistresses"...

yall are giving life to so many dudes, yall should get mother's day cards.

yall are ruining so many chicks lives, yall should be called periods.

yall are keeping trojan & "plan b" in business, even though it's a recession. 

yall are like ashtrays: dirty, ashy & nothing but butts.

am i going in too hard? is it stinging just a little? it's not my intent. truth is, you are people too. with feelings, and emotions, and misconceptions just like the rest of us. my mission isn't to offend, it's just to caution & lead you to freedom. so come on hoes...let's go....

manfive friday #60 topic of the week: why you keep jumping, but you'll never take off... (why you stay being a jump off)

#5: he doesn't love you...

i know you're thinking, "but he says it to me when he leaves". yea, when he leaves to go home to his main chick..he tells you he loves you? *seesmic raccoon side eye*

"but he says it to me when we are making love". newsflash..yall are not making love. making love requires love. if you're sexing with some dude and he has another chick, he don't love you. maybe he loves you as a person. or with the love of a pimp. but he's not loving you the way he should. love requires respect. to say you respect and love someone you won't completely give yourself to is ridiculous.

don't fall victim to this misconception. he doesn't love you. no matter how much he says it. no matter how much you think or feel he means it. more than likely the person he's doing wrong. the person he's cheating on you with, he's telling the same thing to. she thinks he loves her too. and me and you both know he don't love that bitch right? all she got is a big ol' house and a ring on her finger. stupid just a stupid trick, huh?..

#4: he doesn't value you...

he'll never view you as more than a side piece. it doesn't matter what you do. it's unfair to assume all women who are "jump offs" or side pieces started off that way. i'm sorry for lumping yall together with the mistresses & the other chicks. because a lot of times, he wasn't even in a relationship when he started messing with you. he just never made you his official girl. he never got serious with you.

the truth is, he just doesn't see you as a girlfriend/wife. doesn't mean he just sees you as a hoe. you could be his homegirl. his bestfriend. yall could be some of those, "just can't get it right" lovers who have been going back and forth for years and years. he may love you. but the kind of love you need to take it to another level is not there. it'll never be there. he just doesn't view you that way. and he never will. he doesn't see the value in you. not that he doesn't recognize you have value. that's where the misconception comes. he knows you're a great woman. you just aren't the woman for him.  

#3: you're a living sex toy

you aren't real. you aren't a person. you're just sex. he's not coming to you for anything else, because to him..."you're just sex". you can make dinner. you can pamper, cater to him, etc...but at the end of the day if you aren't fucking he's gonna stop coming around.

you're giving him the thing he wants, without true commitment. he may pay your rent. he may buy you things. take you here or there. but he'll never upgrade your status. the things he does for you are great. but imagine the things he'd do for someone he actually loves and cares for. the misconception here is, you're shortchanging yourself, thinking that sex is the best thing you have to offer. thinking that this man will see your worth through your body alone. you'll stay a jumpoff because your jumpoff mentality leads you to believe that sex = love.

#2: you already have a title...

you're his ex...so stay his ex. *looking around*..yea i know a lot of yall are like, "you are wrong for this one". whatever. yall know yall wrong for this one. you're not a jumpoff. you had his heart. you had his attention. you were his main chick. now, a lot of yall do become the "other woman". yall breaking him off a piece here and there, knowing he got a new chick. knowing you got a new dude. knowing yall shouldn't be doing that.

once you get into that mode. once it becomes a "fuck buddy" thing with your ex. it's not the same. it's not the relationship you had before. the misconception is, it feels familiar. it's comforting. it's something you trust, you miss, you love. but the truth is it's not good for you. just like he's not good for you anymore. you know that. that's why yall aren't together. the same shit he did to you to get you to this point, you doing it to some other chick right now. i know some of yall saying, "well that hoe deserve it, i didn't". trust me, i feel you. but honestly, no one deserves that. no one should be with someone who is with multiple people pretending to be into them only. no one should share someone. you didn't feel good sharing him to begin with, now it's all good? now he can fuck both of yall..now that you aren't his girlfriend? ok ladies..

extend your left hand, now take your right hand and spank it. you know you're wrong. dick don't grow on trees, but it's plentiful like leaves. it's autumn, there are leaves everywhere...find you some new dick, jump on it, & keep it moving.

#1: you're in control...

biggest misconception of a jumpoff, she's in control. you think you're running shit. you're only breaking him off when you want to. he has to buy you things or do certain things for you to give him some of that good good.

yet you have specific times you can call him. there are numbers you aren't allowed to dial. there are special days you can't be apart of or spend with him. there are parts of his life you aren't invited to be in. oh, but you're fancy huh?

yall are using each other, right? he's using you for sex. you're using him to feel as if you're wanted or desired. it's sad, because he's getting gratification from shortchanging you. all the things you can get being a side piece. you can get being a main chick, but like a million other things too. yet to you, it's enough. what he's giving you is enough. you make yourself believe that you're benefiting from this, when deep down inside you want more. maybe not even from him. but you do. we all do. we all want more. we all deserve more than being used for just part of who we are.

i'm not trying to exterminate the jumpoffs of the world. yall are valued citizens too...i'm just saying. if you want more. if you need more. it's out there. stop being an afterthought. be a first thought.