Monday, August 29, 2011

day #29 music challenge

day #29: a song from my childhood...


ok..who remembers reading rainbow, the after school specials, smokey the bear, the little electricity bug that song about preserving power? this was what childhood songs were made of. not all of this, "Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle"., "we did it, we did it...".. don't care what anyone else says...the programing back then is totally shitting on the shit that's on now. 

day #28 music challenge

day#28: a song that makes me feel guilty


it's hard to be a chick's Mr. Yeah. the dude who she always wants to come back to. the dude she realizes she was wrong for messing up with. and a while ago, my ex's dude called himself "calling me up" to ask me why my ex kept calling me. and it's like...dude if you're really checking her phone bill you should see she's calling me, not the other way around. and to be completely clear....even if i was calling her don't be a bitch and call me to threaten me to "stop". it's like deal with her. deal with the person you're really mad at. but i thought it was funny he was calling me from like pay phones and shit. so every time i got a weird number, i started playing, "Mr. Yeah"...

day#27 music challenge

day# 27 : music challenge


truth is, anything by herbie hancock. i can play just about everything, but some things you just listen to and be like "wow...".  herbie is one of those things.

Friday, August 26, 2011

day #26 music challenge

day #26: a song i can play on an instrument....


not to sound cocky..but there isn't a song i can't play on an instrument. i've always been into music. always been a quick study. can play just about any instrument you give me. this was the first song i learned to play. i was messing around on my grandmother's piano. and i started hitting random keys. and the melody came so easily for me. that i literally started going from key to key...learning the sounds until i could just play the song. 

needless to say i played this song to death until my uncle gave me his guitar to "confuse me" and i quickly learned how to play it on the guitar. till this day i swear my parents, grandmother, uncles & aunts  probably cringe when they hear this

manfive friday #92

so...when y'all talk, you can hear *crickets* in the background.

you sit in silence, or he rushes you off the phone.

y'all are always arguing/disagreeing and you're really not saying anything at all.

how does the communication barrier go up? how do you go from finishing each others sentences. hanging on each others words. and knowing what to say & when to say it...

to getting on his last nerve?

manfive friday #92 topic of the week: how to talk to your man after the conversations get boring..

come on...we all know in the beginning, everything is easier. the words flow off his tongue like honey and you're addicted like a bee. and he's equally as smitten. then one day that telepathic connection is interrupted. you're talking, running your mouth..and he's holding his head in horror.. he hasn't heard a word you've said. and you've said a lot of them. 5 ways to rebuild the bridge of communication with your dude....

#5: don't talk to him like he's your home girl...

that 2 hour conversation about how your home girl is having this, that, & every issue with her man or other chick friend. yea....we LIVE for these type of conversations. nothing like listening to someone else's boring ass drama. gossip. yes men enjoy crazy stories that involve: sex, violence, and action. will he listen to you telling him about your chick friend catching her boyfriend soliciting trannies off of craiglist..yes. will he listen to a story about how nay-nay is mad tanisha charged her $75 for her new weave when she quoted her $64.32 on the phone?

your man is NOT your chick. he is your friend. and you can share things with him that interest you, but don't forget you're talking to a man. limit the "girl talk". limit the "women issues". limit the amount of "chatty cathyiness" that should be reserved for your chick friends. he doesn't care your nails polish chipped. or your 298 hairstyle of the night did not work out as planned. he's not really turned on about you talking about the new turtleneck you bought in 3 different colors. he doesn't watch rupaul drag race, nor will he even entertain your.."do you think (s)he is cute?". and when it comes to your period: blood clots, staining your pants, bed, or underwear are the last thing he wants to hear about...these are not topics of interest for him. at least they shouldn't be...eliminate the "girl" shit from your conversations and you'll see the difference in how he responds or "listens" to what you have to say.

#4: stop being predictable...

most men are no nonsense. meaning we can't take nonsense. we already THINK we know what you're going to say. but when we figure out, we KNOW what you're about to say it makes it even more painful to listen to you. i admit i'm guilty as hell of this. if i'm talking to my chick...and i know what she's going to say. or i know she's going to go on a random tangent in the wrong direction...i will interrupt the fuck out of her. it is rude. but wasting my time when shit i already know you're going to say is rude too. and i cannot for the life of me sit there and listen to something i ALREADY KNOW you're going to say. it's like watching a movie you already know you hate and thinking it's going to be different the next time, it's not.

if you call him at the same time everyday. go through the same series of events everyday. if you're day is one endless circle of the same shit over and over're losing him. he is totally not interested in what you're saying. if you keep bringing up old shit. if you keep recycling old conversations. if you won't let dumb shit go...he's going to mentally let you go when it comes to talking. switch it up. add some excitement. don't be the broken record that he wants to throw out...

#3: talk about or ask about things that interest him..

 if you don't know things he likes to talk about...ask him. if you know things he likes, stop avoiding them. a fatal flaw in relationships is women thinking "i don't want/like to talk about this/that.." so they don't. i'm not saying go out of your comfort zone and engage in conversations that make you feel less than a person. i'm simply saying as much as you hate talking about something, weigh how important it is to him vs. how it makes you feel. if it's not that big of a deal, stop acting like it is. if you just wanna hear him talk...ask him about the car he's restoring. it's not like you're that interested in it, but it'll be something he's excited about. something he'll ramble on and on about. it will probably teach you something new about him. if you listen. the key is listening. and caring. you have to do both in order to successfully have a healthy conversation with him.

women mistake "silent" as, having nothing to say. and are surprised as hell when they find out he talks to his other friends forever and day.  a disadvantage of being a girlfriend over being a friend is..most of his friends like all the same shit as him. that's the reason they're friends. being his girlfriend, you kinda snuck in the friend door because he developed feelings for you. but the feelings for you, masked the differences that would have eliminated you from his "friend circle". meaning...he likes/loves you. so he deals with you not being interested in the same shit as him. but if you were just a friend he'd simply just not call, text, tweet, or chat with you as much.

#2: stop being judgmental...

if he can't tell you how he feels without you looking at him differently. if he is met with a argument every time he tells you what's on his mind. if you belittle him, his dreams, or wants. he's NOT going to talk to you. he might talk to you about non-serious things. but he'll stop letting you in.

it's hard to be impartial. especially when it's someone you love and you take their opinions personally. if he says he hates this or that. you can't help but wonder if he's talking about when you do this or that. if he says "no one understands me" can't help but group yourself in the "no one" category. it's hard to let some one's opinion be their opinion. it's much easier to want him to "don't talk, just listen". then to actually do that yourself. it's hard to just listen. to be sensitive to him being sensitive.

a lot of times a woman will grow tired of a man complaining about work. how upset he is with his life. what his friend did that upset him.'ll whine about this, that, and everything else to him all day. but the second he does it, he needs to "man up". the crazy thing is...he'll find a friend to talk to who'll indulge him. why can he talk to them about all the things bothering him, but not you?..because they don't judge him or make him feel crazy for feeling the way he does.

#1: deconstruct & reconstruct...

to rebuild the have to break down the barrier that's blocking you from crossing it. acknowledge there is a problem. figure out what can be done about it. then fix it. if you don't talk enough. if you don't talk about important/serious issues. if you can't make it through one conversation without cursing and yelling...figure out why. it's easier to give up then to try to solve the problem. if he is worth it. if the relationship is worth it, you owe it to yourself to try. if you two used to talk all the time, don't lose that. don't build up a wall, then act like it was always there.

it's natural for people to change in a relationship. for people to get too comfortable. for people to get offended or hurt. he might have forgot how happy it makes you that he calls just to say "hello". you may have forget his favorite "words" he loves to hear you say. the worst solution to bad communication, is no communication. stop thinking because you're having communication issues you aren't compatible. the same way you worked yourself to this point in your relationship, you can work yourself to a better place.

i read a subtweet that said.."don't try to reconstruct a broken building...". but the truth is, why destroy a building with a good foundation? yes, if it's new it'll be less complicated. but if you're able to rebuild. if you put the time & effort into making that broken building better. it'll be worth so much more than the new..less complicated building. you can be on  #teamglasshalffull or #teamglasshalfempty...

i'd choose #teamhalffull any day...negativity breeds failure.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

day #25 music challenge...

day#25: a song that makes me laugh...


this video completely sums up my thoughts about what women "want". it's actually not a bad song at all, it's funny, the visual are funny, and the "ROAR" is hilarious. it makes me laugh because it's funny, it also makes me laugh because as ridiculous as it's true.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

day #24 music challenge

day#24: a song i'd want played at my funeral...


to be honest, i'm not with the sappy funeral songs. i'm not with funerals that much either. i don't want people to feel bad for me. i want them to know the suffering/pain/wait is over. and i'm in a better place. i'm also a bit comical..

so if i had to play a song. it would be something crazy like "I feel good",  "get up", or "i got soul"  by james brown. something that folks would hear and smile and think.."that dude is a fool...but i love & will miss him."

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

day # 23 music challenge

day #23: a song i want played at my wedding...


now if i don't sing this to my chick. tevin campbell will. because believe it or not, he will be singing at my wedding. y'all think i'm joking. but i'm 100% serious. if y'all wanna see tevin campbell, rsvp to my wedding, cause he will be singing if not during the ceremony, at the reception. cause this is my dude. and the first time i heard this song, i said..this is what i want to sing to the woman i marry. i didn't get to sing it or play it the first time i got married (which is good cause it's tacky to do the same thing for different people), so i get another chance & i didn't spoil it on the wrong person. 

and so far all the chicks i've dated have been "brown eyed" so i've not have to worry about offending. and now that y'all have heard this song, DO NOT try to covet my song. DO NOT play this shit at your wedding. DO NOT try to book tevin campbell. this is my shit. i will sue.  

Monday, August 22, 2011

day #22 music challenge

day #22: a song that i listen to when i'm sad...


i know y'all are thinking, "NOT ANOTHER LOVE SONG"..i'm sorry. i'm a love song type dude. and this shit is that, sitting in dark w/ a glass of whiskey zoning out type of song. you don't even have to be sad over no relationship. it's just a "sitting in the dark w/ a glass of whiskey" song in general. 

and if you really understood how silly i was..i'd so ACT out this entire song for y'all with no shame. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

day #21 music challenge

day #21: a song i listen to while i'm happy..


this song for reason gets me all hyped. in fact it's the first song on my workout playlist. and it's mixed in there a few more times. just a real upbeat, happy song.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

day #20 music challenge

day #20: a song i listen to when i'm angry....


yanno how they say you pre-game by drinking before you go out? well before i get ready to crack some skulls. i pre-game w/ crunk music. it's like you can feel that energy through your bones. again...i'm from atl y'all please remember that. lol. 

anyway, if you hear this song from the distance. and you see a short dude with a wife beater, some shorts, a hat over his eyes...and a baseball bat. yeah that's me. better run. 

Friday, August 19, 2011

day # 19 music challenge

day #19: a song from one of my favorite albums...

i dare any of y'all to tell me you don't like luther. i don't care if you hate his face, you can't deny the voice. this man's vocals are insanely incredible. he's was a exceptional songwriter as well. i can't think of one of his albums that i don't own, enjoy, or  listen to like crazy. 

 [i wrote tons more, but blogger wanted to be an ass tonight and it erased my 3 attempts to post this]

manfive friday #91

these days there is no room for you ladies to be weak. you have to be on your toes. you have to have all the answers. you have to be strong. you have to support us, but know when to back off....

this week's manfive friday #91 topic of the week: how to support a man, without overdoing it...know when to BACK OFF.

you gotta know when to hold him, know when to fold him, know when to walk away....and know when to run...i did a topic similar to this manfive friday #61, informing you ladies on certain times it was necessary you support your man. but this topic was requested by my girl ( @FATAL5Star). so i'm gonna share with you some tips to supporting without overdoing it.

#5: don't assume he wants your help and/or you have the answer to his problems..

when dealing with other people, it's always a guessing game. you may be with someone who welcomes your concern. you may be with someone who HATES when you try to pry. you may be with someone who secretly wants you to step in, but would never tell you. how are you supposed to know what's going on in his head?

ask him. 

and after you ask him, respect his answer. if he tells you "i'll handle it". leave it alone. he is in the "i hate when you pry" group. if he seems receptive but just doesn't want to talk about it at that moment...leave it alone. if he starts crying..stop laughing and cater to your cry baby.

the biggest thing with this isn't to assume you know how to fix things. it's hard enough trying to fix your own problems, let alone thinking you can troubleshoot & minimize his. don't take on more than you can handle. don't think rome was built in one day, it wasn't. if you have to chip through his stubborn, hard headed, wall laden's going to take time and understanding. he may want & need your support but he wants and needs it at his own pace. he'll open up and be more inviting to your help when he feels like you're not trying to be the hero. it's part trust, part pride, part being difficult.

#4: bite your tongue....

ok, so he lost his job. he's upset. he comes home tells you, and immediately you go into a frenzy.

"how are we gonna pay the bills."     "how are we gonna eat."    "how are we gonna make it"

....and it stacks so much on him that he pretty much gets more worried and upset. time out.

the man JUST lost his job. instead of reinforcing his fears. instead of making him feel like he's not only failed himself, but you as well. instead of flipping out at his time of need. listen to him. let him tell you what his fears are. let him tell you what he needs to say. offer your ear. offer some words of encouragement ("we're going to be alright", "you're going to find something else..", etc..). do not flip out before he can share with you his disappointment. do not start coming down on him right after he's had a awful day. sometimes you have to bite your tongue, hold your thoughts, and think carefully about your gut reactions to what he's telling you. do NOT make a bad situation worse because you didn't think before you spoke.

#3: it's not about you....

a lot of times you ladies get mad, he's mad. get upset, he's upset. get sad, he's sad. and after awhile it's a bit confusing who's supposed to be supporting who. women by nature take on every one's problems. you take on your parents. your children. your friends. your well as your man's. this is why you're considered the backbone most times. but it's a hard job. and sometimes while taking on his problems, you get so immersed you begin developing problems of your own due to his problems.

he's upset...he snaps at you. now you're upset. you're REALLY upset, because all you were trying to do was help his ass. and he got pissed off and started talking out the side of his mouth. or he was sad, was trying to be all asked him what was wrong and he stopped talking to you for a minute "to get himself together" and now you're PISSED off, because after all you were just trying to ask him what was wrong.

now he's trying to play nice & apologizing to you because you're mad. completely throw his actual problem out the window, because there is no longer the focus. you are. and that's unfair.


[suh-pawrt, -pohrt]  Show IPA
–verb (used with object)
  • to undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate.
  • to sustain (a person, the mind, spirits, courage, etc.) under trial or affliction: They supported him throughouthis ordeal.'s unfair for him to snap at you.'s unfair for him to take time away from you because he's trying to man up. but you know he's going through something right now. you knew it before you were mad, but now the only thing either one of y'all are focusing on is you. sometimes to be supportive you have to take some of that anger wrongly projected at you and force him to direct it at the problem..not you. but you can't do that when you're not speaking to him. when you're not returning his phone calls. when you're on twitter, facebook, and all over gchat telling everyone how pissed off you are at him. it's a selfless action that's extremely hard to do....but if you're trying to support him through a real difficult time you have to be understanding. and let some things roll off your shoulder in order to get to the bottom of the problem.

#2: you have to let it go...

it's hard to understand, but sometimes you won't be able to help him. if he's extremely depressed. incredibly violent. or can't help him. you have to know when to run. and this means letting go. sometimes  you get with a guy. you love him. you want to be there. you want to give him the support you need. but you don't have the capacity to do that.

if you're with a guy who is on the verge of killing himself every time anything remotely disappointing happens. realize he's unstable and any help you're giving him will go unnoticed. and i know i said be able to tough it out if he gets upset...but if he's taking it out physically or verbally violently you need to walk (run) away. if he can not be reasoned with. if you listen to his problems, talk it out with him, suggest  things, give him space....and he still can't get it together. it's time to let him deal with his issues on his own. you can't take on something for someone is incapable of helping themselves. helping someone starts with their ability to help themselves. once you've established that they are unable to do so, then your help/support is no benefit to them. not telling you to add fuel to his suicide attempts for leaving him. just saying, any guy who says.."if you leave me, i'll kill myself" and actually is planning on doing it...would have did it for any other number of reasons as well. don't be afraid to walk away from an extremely unhealthy and dangerous situation. if someone is not in their right mind, all the support in the world couldn't help them. they need a Valium & Jesus. not you...

#1:  get to know him...(it takes time)

one of the biggest problem with couples...they don't know each other. almost like the real world slogan, "you think you know me..but you have no idea". you have to learn that person. you have to learn their ways of dealing and processing things. you have to pay attention, don't step on toes, cross lines, or offend them.

it's hard. like i said in's a guessing game. it's like playing double dutch, you're waiting to jump in there to help...but he's just all over the place. you have to rely on the relationship you've built. meaning it takes time. you may find yourself getting snapped at in the beginning. you may find him distancing himself or trying to deal and work through his issues alone. but after you build the trust, the patience and the NON-JUDGEMENTAL understanding. he'll open up to you. you'll start recognizing the warning signs. you'll know when he's in one of his moods. you'll recognize the tone of his voice. you'll know how to walk away, not say anything, hug him, just listen, or offer support.

the trick isn't "not to care". it's to care enough to realize that you may not be able to make it better, right now. don't give up trying to support and help him because he's not receptive at first. you have to give him time to be able to be vulnerable around you. men love to confide and talk to their women. but he doesn't want his fears being confused for weakness. he doesn't want his issues causing unnecessary drama. he doesn't know how to begin to share things like this with you. so give him some room, and your relationship so time before you start trying to save the day. support = love. in this just let him know you love him and you're there IF/WHEN he needs you.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

day #18 music challenge

day #18: a song i'd like to hear on the radio more...


this chick is SLEPT on. her album is absolutely amazing. if it weren't for her song "rolling deep" being heavily covered on "the voice" half of the bandwagoners on her jock now wouldn't know who she was.

i'd so much rather hear any of her songs on the radion then 86% of the shit that's blasting on there these days.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

day# 17 music challenge

day# 17 : a song i hear on the radio ALL the time...


i swear i turned on the radio one day and heard this song 15 minutes times in the same music hour. not hating on the song, but seriously it's played too much.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

day #16 music challenge

day #16: a song that i used to love, but now i hate...


i usta love this song. i used to sing it loud and proud to my ex. musiq was like her favorite artist. and we had gone and seen him a million places. but the last time we saw him....was after i learned she had cheated on me. i had actually known for a few days, but i hadn't said anything to her about it. and we went to this concert. we were in vip, and i had been drinking. a lot. she was acting like she was having a good time. i was making small talk and told her to call my phone. and when she did i took it out to show her the new picture i had made her contact (a picture of her and the dude she was cheating on me with). 

and it was almost like someone told Musiq to start singing this song, because as she stood there speechless...i started singing this fucking song to her. and a song that was once so beautiful to me. to us...turned very ugly. 

that's what this song symbolizes to me now. i absolutely positively......hate the fuck out of this song. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

day # 15 music challenge

day #15: song that describes me...


this song i believe describes me, because this is exactly who i am. the person i want to be seen as. it goes further than just wanting a woman i'm with to believe in me. i just want people to believe i'm the best guy i can possibly be, because that's what i strive to be/do.

i want someone to believe in me, and i want to be able to believe in them as well.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

day #14 music challenge

day# 14: a song no one would think i liked...


the reason i say no one would think i'd like this song. if you ask anyone i know, i'm not a big fan of gospel music. and before y'all start hurling the "heathens"  at me. the reason i can't do gospel music is because i like clean music. i can't do all the screaming, multiple voices, and "Jesus" over hip hop beats. 

maybe because i'm luthern, and we don't do it like that in our church. maybe because i work in music and i'm conditioned to listening to music a certain way. i dunno. i used to play drums at church, used to arrange music for the youth once upon a time. all of that...but i STILL can't do the sunday best shit. so when folks are riding in my car on sunday mornings and the screamfest of "sunday morning" begins, i usually flip the station. and they are acting like i'm hating on Jesus. which i assure you i'm not. 

this song right here is among one of my favorite songs. i can 100% feel it to my core. it's like Jesus gives me a hug during the whole song. i can't even sing along cause i'd probably drop a tear or two. that's how happy & blessed it makes me feel. i've been there. i still get there at times. and this song expresses that feeling completely. 

day #13 music challenge

day# 13: a song that's a guilty pleasure....


truly a guilty pleasure. this version, the remix version, and especially the allstar bass version.

it's a guilty pleasure because ricky bell isn't exactly the greatest singer. but this song right here, makes you forget that. 

{sorry, i set it to post at the wrong time, so it didn't post like it was supposed to..just getting home from a night of drunkeness, so i'ma re-post it now then post the one for today}

Friday, August 12, 2011

day# 12 music challenge

day# 12: a song from a band i hate...


don't ask me why i hate hootie & the blowfish. i don't think i hate the blowfish. i just hate "hootie" aka darius rucker. the song annoys me, because darius annoys me. he reminds me of one of my teachers that was a jerk. and every time i see his face i think, "i hate his face". and thanks to my teacher, i also hate his songs too.

"i only wanna be with you........"

please die.

manfive friday #90're phone is on silent. vibrate. off. you want to escape the world. your job. your problems. the stress. you've taken refuge in your apartment/home. locked the doors, closed the blinds, and crawled in the bed for a few hours of beauty sleep...

it's been a long day, who would deny you of your hermit time?

manfive friday #90 topic of the week: why guys get mad, when you don't answer the phone...

you ever forgot your phone at home or in the car. didn't hear it ring because it was in your purse. look down and just not "feel it" the moment. only to be met with a cuss-out session. why can't he understand you just don't feel like being bothered? you were busy? you really didn't hear your phone? you're selling answers...but he's not buying. 5 reasons guys get so upset with you for not answering your phone..

#5: what part of the game is that?..

when will you woman understand you're REQUIRED to be available when we want to talk. who told you, you could be tired? have a life? escape from the world. you totally checked out but you didn't check and make sure it was okay with us. #wheretheydothatat?

and it's not just reserved to our chicks. when i call my mom and she don't answer..i'm sitting there thinking...WTF. how your mom just not gonna answer the phone?

ya'll know men aren't used to you wanting be alone, especially when we want to talk. yea
we could have went a day or two without calling. but the day we choose to call you and you don't answer...we're sitting there scratching our head. women usually are the one's calling. complaining about not talking enough. asking you to call more. then when we call and you don't answer it totally send us into shock. yes, we may not answer our phone when you call. we may not text you back in a reasonable time frame. but when you do it to violates so many rules. in fact there has to be something about that shit in the bible. "thou shalt not ignore your man's phone call.." and whatever to y'all thinking it couldn't be in the bible because there were no phones. God knows everything and he knew cell phones would be invented. and we (men) would be extremely pissed off when you (women) didn't answer your phone.

so not answering tonight, you're going to hell...

#4: oh, you too busy for me?

so you went out with your girls tonight. y'all threw your purses in the back of your home girls car, so you could party with no restrictions. you're out having the time of your life. drinking, dancing, hanging with your girls. your friend who always starts a fight with someone, hasn't gotten drunk enough to do so yet...the last thing on your mind is your dude. you're not thinking..."what is harold doing?", "i wonder if harold has called or text", "i should check in with harold, it's been a few hours since we've spoken". let's face're about 2 drinks away from forgetting who the hell harold is.

and it's all good. until you get that purse out the back of Sonia's car and you have 4 missed calls, 2 text, 1 dm, and one email....from harold. and your girls are laughing and joking like, "he'll be alright". but you're getting all nervous like ms. cellie from the color purple..cause hey don't know mister gonna beat that ass when you get home...

as much as we don't mind you having a good time, not at our expense. you can ignore your mom when you're talking to me. you can send your work phone call to voicemail. you can let the phone ring with your chick friend calls. but when i'm should be jumping over the bed. knocking down your chicks. breaking your neck & spraining your ankle trying to answer the phone.  it's part ego, and part needy.

#3: the hell you doing?...

if you're not available our mind starts racing as to why you're not answering. no, we don't default to "are you hurt?" or  "is everything alright". first thing we think, "the hell she doing?" & "who the hell is she with?..." whether we think you're up to no good. out with that friend we HATE. laying there ignoring our call. we are sitting there stewing in anger over you not picking up that phone. in fact what's the first question when you answer the phone..

"where you been?". 

it doesn't matter what you say. if your have an alibi. if you're phone is destroyed in 2,000 pieces. you not answering that phone was the worst possible thing you could have done tonight. and he's gonna let you know it. because as soon as he gets you on the phone you're about to be interrogated like you stole something. because we know that unless you we're doing some shit you weren't supposed to'd have your phone. because YOU should have been calling or trying to text us.

#2: he's fiening...

sometimes we get lonely. needy. we want to hear your voice. want to share our day. want to text, chat, or tweet you. and we call, send you a message..and you don't get back to us.

this causes a guy to get mad, because i guarantee most guys have at least 2-3,000 other chicks he could call and they'd pick up. but he wants to talk to you, and you're the one not answering. so he gets an attitude based on the fact that he feels like you're not as into talking to him as he is to you. and you're gonna be tripping, when you check his call log and see he tried to call you twice then called Anita for 30 minutes afterwards.

#1: it's inconsiderate, annoying & says: "i don't care"

point blank. men don't carry purses. we have our phone in our pocket. in a belt pouch. a clip. in our hand..etc. it's accessible. and even though some of us lie and say, "i didn't have it...". we usually have it. and we see when you call us. so the fact that you "didn't hear it", "forgot it was on silent", "didn't charge it", "left it on your desk", "in the car..." we aren't giving you a pass. it's annoying to call someone and their phone go straight to their voice mail or ring & ring, especially when you know they aren't busy. you see them tweeting..from their phone. it screams.."i don't care.." and it's very inconsiderate.

no, you aren't REQUIRED (although i said you were in #1 that you are...*whispers* "and you are" *grin*) to answer your phone, but if you're with someone and they are calling you it doesn't take that much to acknowledge the phone call. i get sometimes you want some "me" time. and that is supposed to exclude me as well as everyone else. but at least let me know that. at least let me know you're turning off your phone for a few hours. you're going to let it charge for a few hours, or that you don't feel like talking tonight. it takes more to fight over it, then it would have to just give him a heads up.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

day# 11 music challenge

day# 11: a song from my favorite band..


y'all forgot the roots were a band, huh? i was gonna go old school and say earth, wind, & fire(EWF). but truthfully i look at the roots as an actual band. i look at EWF as good music. but when i picture a drummer, can't see nobody but ?uestlove. and for that reason...i gotta go with the roots.

this song right 'chere...crazy. but the song with my girl jilly from philly (later erykah badu)...ridiculous

THE ROOTS FEAT. JILL SCOTT (Erykah Badu on alt. verison) - "YOU GOT ME"

a lot of people didn't know jill was originally on this song. especially cause erykah was in the video. but jilly actually penned the hook for the song.

and now to reveal the song that totally sold me on the roots for forever...

"THE SEED 2.0"

many of y'all don't know cody chesnutt. which i will admit his amazingly classic album was heavily slept on. after the roots did this song with cody...i was their fan forever.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

wow...just wow

just wow

admiring your shade of beautiful
all of your amazing features
your eyes, your nose, your ears, your lips...
all the things that make you, you
i could stare for days
the rest of my life
just wow

my eyes staring at you
piercing through you
long glances
i see past your exterior
your flaws...your shortcomings
i see you, i get you
i can let you take my heart
but i can't let you take my eyes off of you
just wow

your lips
so inviting
i love the way you bite them
lick them
curve them into that pretty smile
i want to kiss you, til you feel it in your toes
your neck..your back..
your...well i'll leave it at that
just wow

when i touch you, i're mine
you like it, you love it, you want some more of it...
because you invite my touch
invite me to explore
to follow your curves...crevices...your spots
caress you here, caress you there, caress you everywhere
can i follow your road
to the softest place on earth?
just wow

let's play cause & effect
cause i want to cause an effect in you
when i breath in, you breath out
when i close my eyes, i want you to open yours
watch me.....
love you
you've made me say it, now...
i want to make you say
just wow

day #10 music challenge

day#10: a song that makes me sleepy...


like someone else said, it's not because i don't love this song. it's not because i find it boring. i love me'shell ndegeocello. in fact her "comfort woman" album is crazy dope. it's her voice though. she like lulls me to sleep. her and sade. it was actually a toss up between her and sade because both of them, excellent singers. mellow singers. but you mix me, their songs, and an open road...and i'll be in somebody's ditch.

like literally i can not do either of them while driving, because they relax me and get me all in that "lightly closing my eyes" mode. when i listen to their albums, usually the lights are out. i'm leaning back in a chair. maybe i have a drink, maybe i have a chick, maybe i'm just vibing. but nothing constructive can really happen after they get in my system. and as sensual as their music is..i probably wouldn't even put it on a slow jam mix because i'd be in there doing my thang then....."zzZzzzZ"  lol

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

day #9 music challenge

day #9: a song i can dance to..


believe it or not, i'm in this video. no i will not tell you where. but i'm in this video. and those of you who know, do NOT tell.*mean mug*
this is my "ok, that's how we doing" song. it's that song where you're sitting around mad she ain't calling or she's out with her friends and you're like..shit, 

"you don't have to call, it's okay girl...cause i'ma be alright tonight..". 

i swear i put this shit on and i'm saying, "fuccccccck yoooooooou" all in my head. this is a what a night out with the dudes is like minus the dancing. you are all in the mirror looking at yourself. dancing around, brushing your hair, beard, eyebrows, etc. you do spray that cologne on, pick out something nice, put on those new white sneaks. and you go out thinking..."aiight..i'ma show her". then you end up sitting around all night still mad she ain't called. lol
but anyway, this is my favorite usher song. and trust when i say at karaoke night..this is the "can't get that nigga off the stage" song for me.


Monday, August 8, 2011

day #8 music challenge

day# 8: a song i know all the words to..

Kilo Ali - "Cocaine"

 i think i'm showing my age with this one. i remember being on he bus rapping this every morning..

"cocaine said she loves you, but she really don't. she said i'll always be there, but she really won't...make you a big man, but you a uzi, she said go kill your brother or you gonna lose me. you don't wanna lose her so you do what you are told..headed for the jail 16 year old, now you're into deep and you can't come back...but that's what you get, for selling that crack...COCAINE"

if you aren't from ATL, you probably are like..."wtf" but seriously. kilo ali is classic atlanta music. from "do you hear what i hear (that boom)", "white horse", "freaky dancer", one of my favorites "donkey kong" & the ultimate party song.."get this party started"...

but then again, i'm from atlanta. i'm with old school bass, so maybe y'all can't understand. but just listening to this right now, make me wanna throw a house party.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

day #7 music challenge

day# 7: a song that reminds me of an event...


ok, so yall know i'm from the south and by the early 80's michael jackson, ozone & turbo (from breakin' my favorite movie) had made dancing very popular. so me and my cousin (who is actually a dancer now...), a couple of my friends had a dance group. and we used to wreck havoc. i mean like totally challenge dudes like in the old school breakdancing movies. 

and we challenged these dudes to a dance off (don't laugh..i promise you it was NOT lame back when we did it). and we started dancing and put this song on and WILDED out on those dudes. i'm saying flips, pop & locking, etc..and after we were done we were celebrating our victory. and them dudes beat the shit out of us. i'm talking about black eyes, busted lips, sprang ankles..everything.

this song forever gets me crunk. but every time it comes on me and my cousin both look over our shoulders. 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

day #6 music challenge

day#6: a song that reminds me of somewhere..


i know everyone claims to love where they're from, but i really LOVE where i'm from.   i love being from georiga. i love being from a place where people speak to one another while walking down the street. i've stayed here and there, but there is no place like HOME. and there are tons of "where i'm from songs" out, but can't shit touch "georgia on my mind" by Ray Charles to me. it's like a state anthem. i guess it's equivalent to how ppl in alabama feel when they hear lynyrd skynyrd's "sweet home alabama".  so when luda dropped "Georgia" and that beat hit the couldn't tell me shit.

my favorite line:
"where they usta call us some bamas, now they jockin' the your mouth, less you out for some manners.." - shawn jay 




Friday, August 5, 2011

manfive friday # 89

so you've been looking high & low for the right guy. and you can't find him've checked the colleges, e-harmony, mixers, etc...and the question still remains....

where are all the men hiding? when it comes to finding a man, it's not so much where you're looking. it's where you shouldn't be looking.

this week's manfive friday's #89 topic of the week: where NOT to look for a man...

this topic was proposed by sunshinestar110..she told me she wasn't relating to my other manfives. so i asked her what would be a topic of interest. y'all know i look out for y'all right? i'm not gonna steer you wrong. i'm not going to tell you to "think like a man". i'm just going to do the "man thinking" for you and give you the truth about these places you're looking for guys in. and let you know why a guy you'd be interested in..would probably not be found there...

#5: jail...

ok. if a guy can't call you without an operator introducing him and asking your permission to connect and charge the call to your probably shouldn't be talking to dude. ladies, i don't care how much you like thugs. how much they've "changed" while incarcerated. or how ride or die you think you are. never date anyone/anything in a cage. man nor beast. just say no....they are in a cage for a reason. and it's not a good reason.

"ray ray ain't commit no crime, he just stole this dude car...". um. hoodrat that is a crime. ray ray isn't a murderer. you might not have to worry about him standing over you at night breathing all heavy with a pillow, knife, boxcutter, gun in his hand.. but the second you lay them keys down....eerrrrrrrrrrr, there go your accord.

don't be pen paling. don't be going to visit, getting stripped searched, sneaking in weed in your is not worth it. the dude is locked up. meaning he is putting in time for doing some dumb shit. which means if you;re putting in your time trying to date him, you should be locked up too, cause that's some dumb shit as well.

#4: clubs...

lounges, strip clubs, go go clubs, anyplace where the lights are dim, drinks are plenty, and your mind ain't working all the way right.

do not try to find love in the club. it does not exist. guys go to the club to prey on women. the plan of action is to get you drunk enough that you start thinking he's Idris Elba when he's really Steve Urkel. he comes dressed in his best clothes, buy you drinks, then to find out he he's playing to take your panties off via the bus, cause he doesn't have a car. men aren't looking for a good girl in the club, in fact we're looking for the exact opposite. even guys in a relationship...go to see pretty ladies, get a few drinks, etc. the only guys trying to pick you up and pretend it's going to be something are the married one's. and we all know how that works...

and all you ladies in love with the strippers....i'ma give you a few minutes to come back down to reality. i know you are getting all moist looking at his physique. think he's all cut up. he's showing off the goods and grinding and doing all those sex gestures you like. but stop....and really look at him.

he's wearing panties. they are usually brightly colored panties. with frills and mesh. that's made out of spandex. he's covered from head to toe in oil. he's popping his ass at you. now tell me, in your regular this sexy? is this what a guy who likes women does? i'm just judgement, but this the type of dude you want to date? i don't care what you think his body look like...just because he's dancing for you and keisha on tuesday night doesn't meant h'es not dancing for kevin & dante on thursday.

#3: Service Jobs...

you walk into Old Navy...and dude stocking the shelf is giving you the eye. he's cautiously following you around, very non threatening like. you're not bothered in the least bit, because you find him attractive. and everyone knows women love with attractive men stalk them. he tells you how nice you look. ask you where you're from, your name. he's telling you how nice those pants you're putting up to yourself in the mirror will look on you. you're thinking..."wow, he's a really nice guy...he must really be interested". 

backspace...delete delete.go the fuck back to the first thing i said. "you walk into Old Navy". this dude ain't interested in you, he's trying to get you to buy those damn pants because that's his job. 

STOP thinking these dudes want to be with you in department stores. stop thinking because your waiter gave you a free drink he's trying to take you out. all getting cocky and writing your number on a napkin or leaving it next to your tip on his copy of the receipt. you got that free drink because his ass was too lazy to go and add it after he had already closed out your ticket. and he's not going to call you because surprise he does not own the resturant, that reciept goes into a drawer not his pocket. he's just going to play your Red Lobster boyfriend the next time you get a taste for some cheddar biscuits. i'm not saying don't date a guy who has a service job. i'm just saying don't go into this employment trying to make him your boyfriend. he is working. and all nice things said & done towards you are because it's his job. stop thinking the bartender has a thing for you. the bartender has a thing for anyone who does body shots, flirts, & tips him. you ain't special... 

#2: at your friend's house...or neighbors

i don't care if it's her man. her cousin. her brother. her ex. her best friend. her friends friend. do not go to your home girl's house and try to pick up no man. the shit does not work like that. the only way you can successfully meet and break up with someone without there being drama and them being able to be cut completely out of  your life. almost like they disappeared.

and yanno how it goes you date someone for a few months. and y'all break up. and you go hang out with keisha and this dude show his ass up over keisha house. or she have a cookout. a party. a housewarming. a passion party....and this dude randomly chilling in the basement when you walk down there. and now you feeling all stupid and dumb and mad. at keisha. but it's ain't keisha fault. ain't no one told you to go get with her friend/cousin/brother/ex. keisha is an innocent bystander and she loves her brother just like she loves you. and even though she might love you more.....she ain't gonna stop dealing with her brother cause of you. don't complicate your friendship. don't get lazy and just start talking to any dude you see at a function a few times. venture out. find you somebody that has at least 3 degrees of separation from keisha. so when you get mad you can be like like..."fuck that nigga..." and keisha be like..."yea fuck him..". instead of you saying, "fuck that nigga" and keisha's just looking away and whistling.

another big "no-no", dating a neighbor. yes, it's convenient when shit is cool. when he's cute and y'all are flirting and you need to borrow some sugar. but as soon as things aren't good. and this dude see you walking in with another guy. or you see him with another girl. or you want him to forget where you live but he lives next door. you wonder who's been tipping over your trash cans and cutting open your trash bags. y'all awkwardly get in the elevator and have to ride down 6 floors together. your parking space is next to his and you get the urge to "bust the window out his car" every time jasmine sullivan comes on the radio (which probably ain't often, but she gets you really crunk when it does happen). you've just violated the "NOT IN MY BUILDING" rule. resist the temptation to co habitat with someone you're already in cohabitation with. imagine y'all apartments like cubicles. yes you got walls between y'all, but you still can hear through them.

#1: church...

i know y'all are thinking the devil just wrote this. i assure you he did not. ladies...i know you think the best place to find a God fearing man, is in church. and to some degree you're right. there are TONS of God fearing men in church. but when it comes to dating..those aren't the one's who are hollering at you in the fellowship hall.

picture your church. picture the outside to the door. now picture walking in and seeing those ushers standing there greeting you with a smile and the collection plate as you walk in. walk on in and sit in that pew and take a look at that fine pianist playing the angels songs as the choir sings. that jovial choir director dancing and stomping up and down the aisles commanding all of those smiley faced tenors and basses you've been eyeing all service. the assistant pastor gets up and reads a hymn from the good book as the pastor, sweat dripping from his toupee, buttons gaping from his tailored suit, sweat cloth waving in the air, like he just don't care. you got that picture in your mind?

okay now scratch out all the men in the room married sitting with their families. the young boys. the college students who'll be gone once school starts back. please point on one straight dude in the room.

ok...i know y'all think i'm going to hell. but i'm serious. what dude 27+ in the church, no woman, in a pastel suit, smiling, and passing out is really trying to get with a woman? *drake voice* "i'm just saying, you can do better....". you know just like i know that half those dudes in church are in there fighting the good "i'm not gay" fight. when obviously we all know they stay #losing.

not trying to discourage you ladies. some of this is jokes, but some of this i'm being completely serious about. it used to be taboo to date someone online. or to go to a park, or coffee house. but these days if this is where you are, if those places are things you're interested in and frequent..then that's probably going to be the best place to find someone. this isn't giving you permission to be stupid about the situation and randomly start dating and trusting strangers. just saying instead of all of the "my plan to find mr. right" just let it naturally happen doing your normal every day life. let a guy who has seen you walking your disgusting dog (because pets are disgusting) in the park for the past few weeks engage you in conversation about dogs. move your purse one morning so the guy on the subway you see every morning on your way to work can sit down and say hello. finally look up and smile when the guy at work tells a lame joke loudly because he's obviously trying to get your attention. sometimes you're too busy looking, to see all the guys who are looking at you.

{lol..this manfive is on time cause i'm out of town. so i set it to post at 7am to prevent you night owls from learning i was away not having to wait like everyone this shit don't post...}