s.p.a.c.e.

at first i thought it was me. maybe i missed you more than you missed me. maybe i thought about you more than you thought about me.  maybe i was too into you. maybe you weren't into me enough.


i'm not needy. i'm not a pest. i have tons of other people i could be spending time with. i could be doing a million other things. but the truth is, i'd just rather be doing them with you. i'd rather be talking to you. holding you. touching you. being close, to you.

space to me is like sitting in a dark hallway. an abandon elevator. in a box...all alone.

staring at my phone. waiting, wanting, needing it to ring. hoping for a text, email, tweet..something. i can respect your need for space. your need to talk, see, do things with others. i know i don't have a monopoly on your time. i just wish that you wanted to spend your time with me, the way i want to spend my time with you.

love mishaps

i've mentioned before i'm a romantic at heart. and being a romantic, i tried to think of a gift to buy my girlfriend that would scream..."i'm thinking about you". it wasn't about price, it was about thought. what could i buy...that would show her that i was always thinking of her? what can i get that she can have and think of me?

so i went down to this store called, "things to remember". and saw this heart compact. so i thought long & hard about what i wanted it to say. i got her name engraved on the front. and wanted to put a message on the other side. the first thing that popped in my head..

at first..."if you look in my heart, this is what you'll see".

that was cool. but i wasn't sure if that was too much. after all, she always implies i'm moving too fast. and i'm too serious. so i backed off that idea.

then i came up with.."your only imperfection is, you without me...". i thought to myself maybe she wouldn't understand what i was trying to say. so the lady at the store asked me if i wanted some help...so we came up with.."you're always in my heart" (or something similar..lol it's been a while). short, sweet, & to the point. so i go out and find this beautiful heart box. red, heavy, carved box. and i put the compact in there. she sees it and kisses me and thanks me for it.

but months go by and i never see it again, nor hear mention of it. so one day we're having a conversation about, "your & you're". and she's telling me, "i know you don't know the difference in the words..". and i ask her why she said that, she informs me her compact says...

"YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART"

i inform her the stupid girl at the store must have spelled it wrong when she was engraving it. because i know i double checked it a million times before i decided to go with that message. so that's why she never has it? or never said anything else about it? *smh*...i've wanted to for a while go and get another one done corrected. but i thought about it. if she was gangsta she would rock that shit and be like, "so my boyfriend might not be able to conjugate verbs...but i love his retarded sped ass anyway". so i refuse to get another one, at least until i see her show some pride in that one.

*ignorantly strolls away*