let go & let GOD

so i know my last few blogs have been depressing....

i know cause they depressed me as i was writing them. but i needed to get that off my chest. and out of my system. right now, i still feel some kinda way. but i decided to let go, and let God handle it.

i finally spoke to my chick. got what i needed to off my chest. and if a little time of clarity helps us GREAT. if it doesn't i'm not even gonna worry about it right now.

i told myself before all of this happened that it was time to get myself together. time to dedicate myself to taking care of myself. i want to lose about 50lbs. i have a full attack plan to make that happen. i start tonight at midnight. a lot of people think i'm bullshitting because i've been saying for a while i need to lose weight. but this time i'm really going to give it 100%. not that 50% this day, 80% this day, 12% that day. this is going to be for me. not anyone else. i'm going to also take my health more seriously.

as you guys know i have MS. and i really shouldn't have this extra weight on me anyway. although the extra weight is a result of me gaining the weight. both from the medications and just being plain ol' depressed i have something i'll never be cured of. i'm accepting it now, and i'm going to work to doing better to take care of it. starting with the diet. then i'm going to start tonight taking my injections EVERY day, instead of skipping days at a time. i'm going to get me a new doctor and i'm going to stay on top of this. it's a pain in the ass, but i'd rather it be a pain in the ass for me then for my son or parents to have to be taking care of me if it gets worse. so....

i'm starting today with a new attitude. tonight with a new workout plan. and tomorrow with a new me. i appreciate everyone hitting me up. all your encouragement for my mini "woe-is-me" party. right now i'm in an okay space..and hopefully pretty soon it'll be a great space.

God has spoken to my soul, and i'm finally listening. it's going to be alright. i'm going to be alright. maybe the rapture really has begun. because i feel all holy...yanno what they say.."when heathens see the light...the world must be ending..". lol

i'm a good heathen tho. God knows my heart.

what u doin?......

i'm bullshittin'.

i'm gonna try something different today. y'all wanna know what i'm doing today? absolutely nothing. and i'll show y'all. i will be updating this post over and over. first we're gonna start with the snow. since y'all think i'm being dramatic about being snowed in. i went outside yesterday and took this picture for the naysayers who thought i was bullshitting about it actually being a pretty good snow for GA. you gotta remember we don't get snow like this. and all this shit happen in less than 12 hours. and it's like 6 1/2 to 7 inches in my back yard. and i know some of yall are scoffing. trust me. i've lived in the north. i know what a real snow is. but this is a lot for the south. and we don't have all the fancy snow plows, salt trucks, snow tires, etc. so we are really stranded. it's like a ice rink outside.

so if i can't leave what exactly can i do? eat. and unfortunately i've already eaten my breakfast, so i won't be able to share that with you. but it'll be time to eat lunch in a minute...in a second you'll see me being a fat ass. so what am i don't right now, at this exact moment? um, writing this blog. do you really need a picture of that? or can you just take my word for it? anyway. other than that i'm just sitting in my home studio, listening to one of my favorite artist. if you have to ask...you don't pay attention. but for all you new folks..it's eric roberson. currently playing "please don't leave me..". and 
trying to decide if i'm gonna work today or just continue to play around. i've been told to blog, but i got too much energy to sit down at the computer and really write. plus it's a super distraction trying to write in here. i have tweetdeck going. got my music playing. got my production partner calling me on skype every 5 minutes. i usually write on my netbook but the damn adapter died, i think. so i have to come into the land of distraction to blog..which leaves me doing everything but that. so i'm gonna go find something to do..and when i do i'll be back to show/tell you. so if there is anything you wanna see...besides me naked. let me know and i'll try to make it happen.

hit me on twitter. or leave a comment. 

think i might go heat up my leftovers from last night. don't worry, you'll see in a few fat ass minutes. * i'm back and doesn't it look good? i made that. please disregard the beer let's replace it in our mind with a glass of wine or some shit. we'll both pretend i'm more sophisticated and i don't drink beer with my lunch. it's baked chicken wings in a gravy with bell peppers & onions. and the rice is garlic and herb. i had corn (yes...another starch) last night, but i'm one of those people who believe you can't warm up corn or baked potatoes the next day. so i'm just making due with the chicken & rice. now that i'm done eating. let me move on the next thing...

it's between playing wii or watching tv. guess you'll have to wait to see which one i pick. ok so i picked playing wii. mostly cause it was in the closest room to me. and let's face it..i'm lazy. so it was between two games. michael jackson the experience and minute to win it. i don't care what y'all are thinking. i've told y'all i'm destined to be on that show. if my girlfriend working for nbc doesn't get in the way of that. anyway, guess which one i picked? disregard the lines...i dropped this tv on purpose cause my ex said she wanted it after we got divorced. then she decided not to take it, so i just use it to play video games on now. it only shows like that when i take a picture of something. it's really not messed up. if she would have taken it, i probably would have dropped it a few more times, to make sure it was really broke. lol. i plan to change it out with the tv downstairs when i buy a newer bigger one for the fireplace. so therefore i just deal with it for now. but back to the game. i played like 4 songs and got tired and sweaty. so i think i'm about to take a shower...then i'll shall be back. (unless y'all trying to get in the shower with me...)

 ok. so i got out and watched blood and bone. probably the best independent martial art black movie ever. i know you're thinking how many other independent martial art black movies are there..whatever, i'm sure there are more. but i got so much more respect for michael jai white. i mean spawn was alright. but the tyler perry movies, lost him tons of man points. but this movie along with black dynamite has earned him the right to do maybe one more tyler perry movie. but after i watched this, i went downstairs to make dinner. so what was for dinner tonight? spaghetti.

let me start by saying pictures are deceiving. the food tasted so much better than it looks in this picture. it was great..not as tasty or delicious as my food last night. i have no idea how i made that food last night. or why it was so good. but it will be a while before i top that. anyway. i made dinner, and now i'm talking to my girlfriend..which she'll make sure i don't do anything else productive or non productive tonight. so that was my whole boring day. sounds real boring right? hopefully the ice on the roads lets up. i need to re-up my groceries. re-up my movie selections. and go get my son. he actually called me and talked to me for over and hour today. about his toys. so obviously he's bored as hell too..lol.

                                              

my trip....so glad to be home

so my mini vacation..was full of ups & downs.

(summary version)

the ups: 

• spending time with my family
• taking my son to the beach for the first time 
• visiting relatives 
• deltas turning the wedding reception into "stomp the yard 3" 
• my son being so happy about the trip that he was sad when we made it back home

the downs:

• my dad having me up till midnight only to tell me he'll be so late that we'll just leave the next morning at 6am
• me being the chauffeur
• not being prepared (my son's "outfit" was not together)
• my son wanting to win the "baddest child in the store" award
• it raining on the way to an "outside" wedding
• my son trying his best to get a vacation whooping
• my aunt deciding to come up to the wedding with no ride back home and wanted to intrude on her family fun and be our plus 1

(full of fuckery version)

so the trip was cool. it started off with me planning on driving at 9pm to me waiting up till after midnight only to find out that the "departure" time was going to be changed till 5:30 due to him being sleepy. yet, i was the only one slated to drive. so we get on the road. and everything is cool. we get there and get ready to go to the beach. only to find out that where we were staying..which was supposed to be by the beach...was 45 minutes away from an alabama beach. and 30 minutes away from an florida beach. so we traveled from ga to alabama then to florida to go to the beach. (*sidenote the wedding was in another city so why my dad thought it was a good idea to stay there - no idea - ).

so we get to pensacola. this is the first time he's been to the beach with me. he's gone previous with his mom's side of the family. but i don't think he really was old enough to take it in. so this really was his first trip to the beach. so we get there. and he's loving walking in the sand. in his socks & shoes. as soon as i look down and see he has them on i start to take them off..that's when "freaked out" hour begins. conversation goes like this:

me: we gotta take your shoes off...
mr. amazing: nOoOOoo
me: yes, you're gonna have sand all in your shoes
mr. amazing: nO, i don't wanna take my shoes off
me: you have to take your shoes off
mr. amazing: nO, I'm not gonna do it
me: yes, you are gonna do it..give me your shoes


he starts to cry. i take them off. he's standing there mad. so i pick him up and start walking towards the water.

mr. amazing: nO, what are you doing?
me: we're going in the water
mr. amazing: i don't wanna go in no water
me: it's fun, you'll see
mr. amazing: nO, it's not fun. i no wanna go in the water
me: we're going in the water

he starts to cry louder. it starts raining. oh wait..no it's just his tears and snot hitting my head. so i try to put his feet in the water to show him, "it's just water". he again is not feeling that. he's screaming like i am trying to murder him by drowning. so i back up and put him down on the sand. and he stays frozen, wanting me to come back, pick him up and walk him back to the car. so i take pictures of him looking all mad and sad. and we walk back to the car...my parents & i thinking we've made a big mistake bringing him to beach and how we're gonna have to leave before we really even spent any time there. so we get back in the car. and he's like, "hey..where's my bucket?" referring to this bucket i bought him to play at the beach. so i tell him it's behind his seat, did he want to go play in the sand? he says yes. i ask, do you want to get in the water. he screams, nO. we drive down to the area with the tables which cost $8 damn dollars to park at. lady tells us, it allows us to come back in that area for a few days. and gives us a "beware of tarballs" from the oil in the gulf paper. we get out & walk towards the water. he has his bucket, it's looking like i can trick him. so i wait till we get close enough and tell him to fill it up with sand. once he does. i tell him to dump it out. and of course it just pours out. i then get the bucket walk over to the water and scoop sand and water up then dump it out to form a cone...

he's impressed. so then i tell him to do it. and it takes a minute but he starts going closer and closer..until finally he gets into the water. and he enjoys it. and won't let us leave. ironically enough this is the time we discover our first tar ball...so at this point we're thinking maybe his ass shouldn't be in the water..lol. we stay out there a few more hours and he is no officially covered in sand from head to toe. so i go over to wash off..try to get him to come wash off. he doesn't want to. so his sandy ass...gets in my car and drops about a pound of sand in his booster seat & all over the back of my car. pretty much it for the night cept we go to a mexican restaurant and they serve us drinks with no alcohol in them...yes. screw face. they couldn't make anything but margaritas. although they handed me their "drink" list. and had on their menu..."ask for our drink menu". they couldn't make the other 70 drink choices...just lime, strawberry, or mango margaritas. and they had NO alcohol in them. i keep stressing that because we are not romper room kids. we ordered the drinks for the alcohol.

we go back to the hotel, sober & tired. we go to sleep. around 1-2 am...i feel something in my face. it's my son he has gotten in the bed with me. so i'm thinking...uh ok. so lay there until he takes over the bed (like usual). and i get up and get into his bed. 30 minutes later i feel him in my face again. so i figure he must be scared since we aren't at home. so i deal with dude taking 95% of the bed away from me. we get up. get breakfast. go visit some relatives that live in the area. then i say i need to go get him something to wear because his pants we're too small, and he took his vest out of the bag. so i go into kohls. he walks in...goes straight to the toys. nightmare begins. i find some pants, but he's so skinny (cause all he eats is pedisure...) that i have to make sure his pants fit. so i find a shirt too. try to take him to the dressing room. we get in there, things are going fine. he puts on the clothes. it looks nice. it fits. great. he then starts to try to rip the shirt open superman style and tell me "he not trying on no clothes". i tell him...we're about to take them off..and he's saying, "i want pooh & piglet" (winnie the pooh & piglet). so i tell him i'll get him one of those.

mr. amazing: nO, i want a pooh & piglet.
me: well you can only get one
mr. amazing: only get one? aww man

i start to take off his pants and notice the button on them is broken. i go to find another pair..of course they don't have them in his size. i find some more khaki pants, in his size, different brand. and head back to the dressing room to make sure those fit. here comes drama. this dude lays in the middle of the floor. starts spitting, kicking, spinning around...saying, "no daddy...i don't wanna try on no clothes". so i'm like, "listen we're just gonna try this pants on real quick then we'll get piglet. he informs me he don't want piglet cause he doesn't intend on trying shit on. he didn't say that..but his look and his actions screamed that. so i grab him to take him in the dressing room. and he stretches his body out to block me from entering in the doorway. everyone is looking at me like, "ha ha my child is acting better than yours". which at this point, damien, the exorcist chick, and the little girl from orphan would have been acting better than my son. i felt like grabbing some bottled water, praying over it, and throwing it on his ass. i decide to just get him, the clothes, and get out of there. we walk towards the register..and you know he had the nerve to say.."hey, what about my toy...". i looked at him. he looked at me. then he goes runs back to the toy section. right now i am so pissed off. it's like i felt like calling his mom and saying, "come spank his ass". since i really don't spank him. i kept telling myself, i can't let my first spanking to be over some clothes. i just kept repeating that shit to myself. he doesn't want pooh he only wants piglet. and of course there are no piglets left. so he grabs some sesame street plastic figures for $15...i put that shit back down and tell him to choose again. he keeps walking up to the craziest shit talking about, "this one?"..."this one?"..."this one?". he picks up a puzzle set. so i'm like...find something else. he finally decides on a car/bob the builder toy. so we walk to the front. get that.

get back to the hotel. i try to make him try on the pants since the wedding is in a few hours. he is screaming, running around, and trying to rip off the clothes again. i put them on him anyway and the pants are too big. so big i could fit another him in front of him in them. this mixed with the fact that he was acting like a monster. was not helping me. so i took off the clothes. he grabbed his shorts and i ushered him to my parent's room and told her i had to go back to the store..but couldn't take him with me. he ask me for his toy. and i just let the door close behind me. in his face. dude....

i get back there and see they have pants similar to the first pair i tried on him but in black. i get those. i see they have them in regular & slim. so i get both and a belt. i'm wasn't coming back to that store...i get back to the room, dreading the worse. get him from my parents room. and he's like, "hey daddy...where have you been? do you have my pants?".  i'm looking around like what the hell have you done to this child? cause that's not the same one i dropped off earlier. he tries on the pants. the slim, fit. it's awful you gotta buy 3 pair of pants to figure out your child is a damn "slim". that notation has definitely been made tho. his ass actually says, "i look nice...thank you daddy". yes, i become a sucker and gave him his damn toy. we get dressed...and head to the wedding.

which was cool. cept on the way my mom tells me it's gonna be outside. why she thought that was "last minute" info, i don't know. i don't know about yall...but as a man dressing up for the outside is different then dressing up for the inside. suit jackets...are still jackets. and it's HOT as hell outside. also the fact that 10 minutes into the drive it starts pouring down rain. so we get there..no one is outside, which is a good sign. we get in there and we're late. and there are no seats. after waiting a few minutes. and giving up the seats that became available to the women walking in behind us. we finally sat down and the wedding was cool..the preacher was not. and the craziest shit. the preacher was my mom's ex boyfriend. yes. random. even more random. my mom's ex-boyfriend who grew up in the boonies with my dad. how it was even possible for both of them know dude...no idea. but i was convinced it was one of those things that you don't try to understand. he sucked as a preacher. no, not just because he used to date my mom and was not m dad. but he kept forgetting the brides name like 4 times. the oddest part about that, he knows her. she works for him. so it's like dude..wtf is wrong with you? my dad said...it was my mom being there that was making him nervous. he was trying to "impress her". that wasn't true, i hope....but it was funny.

get past the wedding. to the reception. and bride & her delta soror sisters take over. maybe because i was older when i got married. i wasn't fresh out of college. i wasn't still hanging out with my frat brothers like that. maybe i just didn't get why you had to have your whole line as your bridesmaid. they had 20 bridesmaids & groomsmen. do you know how many dudes i'd have to call up for favors to get them to be in my wedding? i'm surprised i wasn't asked to be in it, my dad wasn't asked, my son...shit. how do you get all those guys to buy tuxes, and agree to be in your wedding?..seriously? i know it's easy to get chicks. but dudes? come on....it's not like he pledged so it wasn't a frat/soror thing. it was a him/ marrying a delta. thing. and after they serenaded her...we watched him break out into a delta "back that ass up" rendition. they honestly backed that ass up led by the bride in her wedding dress. circled the room throwing bows, "oo ooping", dropping it. i mean every dude in the room had his phone, camera out like it was freaknik.

yall think i'm joking. yall want me to post the video?..lol. anyway it was good to see all those educated black women in one room. i swear it was at least 80, black women...single. between the age of 23-27. if we weren't out of town i would have had all my dudes there because that was unbelievable. ratio women to men..10:1. no subtract out all the old men. all the little boys. the ratio was 25:1. that is right. there were 25 chicks to each guy there. wedding crashing will become an epidemic if dudes honestly understood that.

at the wedding my aunt informs us she rode up to the wedding with no way back home and wanted to ride back to us. we leave the wedding. get back to the hotel where i am forced to have another night of sharing the bed with the bed hog. then we get up and he starts tripping again. he don't wanna get dressed. he don't wanna put on his socks. i just pack his shit up. my dad knocks on the door and informs me the elevator is broken. he has his bag. i have my bag with mine & my son's stuff. and then there was my mom's 5 bags. who took down 6 bags...me or my dad? real quick...guess. we go to pick up my aunt. she was staying at least 30 minutes the other way. to wrap up an already long story. we get to my parents house. and my son starts crying. he doesn't want the trip to be over. he wants to go back to the beach. it made me feel good he had a great time & he didn't want it to end. but the fact that now his ass is refusing to get out the car....was testing my religion.

welp, guess what time it is..

you'll have to excuse me. there will be no #twitterkills or manfive this week because i will be on vacation. not an actual.."YAY.. i'm on vacation". but a change of scenery.

my cousin is getting married this weekend. and me, my son, & my parents are about to hop in the car in a few hours (yes it's 10:31pm...) and ride out. we always leave late as hell due to my dad not finishing his rounds (he's a doctor) till later. which tonight is looking like midnight. and of course i'm driving. yes, the one with the eye problems who doesn't wear their glasses nor sleep more than 3 hours a night. pray...

anyway. we're gonna hit the beach up tomorrow. then visit with family. then hit the wedding saturday. and just chill out. so i'm gonna make the best of this mini vacation that's not really a vacation and try to enjoy myself. i have a strange feeling, it's gonna leave me longing for real vacation, but eh...only time will tell.

check out my tweets from the streets to see all the boring, non fuckery..i plan to NOT get into. how much fuckery can exist with your parents and a 4 y/o around? wait...the wedding will be full of drunk relatives. so maybe fuckery will be had. again...only time will tell.

love denied..

i am a chronic love adviser. meaning i'm in the business of offering advice on matters of the heart. i do it often. and often it's great advice (if i say so myself). i think hindsight is a bitch, and i've had a bunch of bitches.

i guess the most disappointing thing is i can't ever keep love. it's like, "those who can't, teach". i'm stuck in an endless cycle of knowing what love is. knowing what it's supposed to feel like. knowing what it isn't. and knowing when it's wrong. unfortunately, it never does me any good. i'm the kind of guy who looks good on paper. i look good to you as a friend. i'm charming in the beginning. then something goes terribly wrong. expectations.

i expect so much more, because i've been taken advantage of repeatedly. it's not a bitter expectation. like i'm just unfairly wanting things unreasonable. only thing i require is love. only thing i ask, is love. i want to feel it. i want to know it's there. it's almost like i got a love shield around me. as long as ppl are near me they feel the love all around me. to the point where they want to stay there. but they never give it back. like the shield, shields me from being loved. i'm honestly not being dramatic. this is how i feel.

when i lose love, it feels like i lose a part of my life. a part, that i set aside with the hope for more. it never really seems like the person on the other end is as hurt as me. i'll do all the lame: waiting for a response, checking my email, phone, etc.. just any sign they they even cared. and usually i'm let down. why can't i just roll over on love like that? why can't i just be ice cold? it's a part of me that feels like i should. but it's a part of me that feels like that blocks God. although i think he's playing a cruel trick on me. yanno the one where you probably should have become a monk, but you didn't so he's just gonna make sure you are alone for the rest of your life anyway? yea, i think that's me. and again, i'm not being overly dramatic. i truly believe God, chooses some people to be alone. it's one of those, receiving your paradise in heaven things.

a little background information about me. when i was younger i was really into church. first girl i ever dated was a PK (preacher's kid). she wasn't one of those bad ones either. i was a youth leader, i was really into all of that. all of sudden that relationship that was going great, just went away. like literally, we were together happily one day, the next not. one of the dumbest reasons. my next big relationship was my marriage. and again, it was going great. i know people say, "i didn't do anything to deserve it..". and honestly i didn't. it was great one day, and then off a sudden it was over. love comes into my life & gives me hope. then it leaves fast with no remorse. no one is every sorry. like they say it, but they really aren't. that is the part that sucks the most. people can go on the next day like everything is fine, while i'm left holding a bag full of empty dreams & promises.

i don't even have many close friends, because i don't really think people are interested in me for me. it's always something else. growing up, it was because i was a pushover and i had money. later it was because i was still a pushover. then it was the connects. then back to the money. needless to say, i doubt people's true intentions for friendship. that's why i rarely reveal much about myself. it's just easier to find out who likes you for you.

and when i think someone likes me for me, and they don't. it's like an arrow through the heart. you love people the way you want to be loved. that's why i love hard, blindly, & unconditionally. it just sucks when it's not returned. love denied. yet again.

make up ("MY") your mind.

ever had someone make up your mind for you? it happens to me all the time. in fact for as long as i can remember it's been happening to me. i remember when i was younger and i wanted to play baseball instead of going to college. idea NIXED

i remember when i wanted to major in music and pursue what my parents considered a hobby full time, but was pushed into working on a plan A because that was only a plan B. idea NIXED

i remember after working a year as an computer engineer and telling my parents i had a chance to work in music. that i actually had a chance to do what i loved full time, make a living, and be happy. they didn't NIX my idea, but they weren't convinced. it took time to show them that it was real. it took time for them to understand that my hobby was really computers, and music was where my heart was and had always been. either way. they had a lot of control over what i did & didn't do. even as an adult.

i later got married and everyone knows when you get married you are no longer in control of your life. everything was automatically NIXED from inception of thought. unless it was her idea too. after we split. my mom resumed the "NIXER" of all my idea role. she began coddling me because she feared me being "lonely". but her coddling turned into "protecting" again, which she's always been too good at. so it leads me to decisions about my health now. and everyone in my life...is making up my mind for me. it's like to them, it makes them feel better. it will make them be able to sleep better at night. but for me, not so much. i'm a logical person. things always need to make sense to me.

when someone says, "there is no guarantee" i automatically discredit anything else they have to say that would warrant a "it's gonna make it better". if there is no guarantee, you can not tell me it's gonna be better. logically, that doesn't make sense. it means that it could go both ways. it COULD get better, or it COULD get worse. i know this all seems cryptic and doesn't make sense. i guess what i'm trying to say is, i'm making a decision this week that EVERYONE else wants me to make. it's not one i'm sold on. it's not one i'm happy about. it's something that will effect me for the rest of my life. and it just pisses me off that no one cares that i don't want to do it. i haven't made up my mind to do it. i've made up YOUR mind, that i'm gonna do it. i wanna go kick rocks at every single person who has convinced me that this is the best choice for me. and i swear on everything if it turns out this shit doesn't work, i'm looking for every last one of yall. and it's gonna be on!

i'm back on this bitch...

yall have to excuse me. i was going through a health crisis. it's not over, but it's more bearable so.."here i is" just as ignorant as ever!

i'm surprised i haven't been arrested yet. i've been having tons of violent outburst in my head. kinda ally mcbealish. i'm on some punch a ninja for saying "hi" shit these days.

yes, i know i need Jesus. i also need some liquor. due to all this shit in my system i'm only getting high on shit from the pharmacy on a regulated schedule. so let's add this up...

health crisis...check!
no liquor...check!
no sex....check!

= a very irritable, cranky, violent minded individual.

beware of my blog wrath...i'd get all kind of ignorant right now if my mom wasn't sitting in my face annoying the fuck out of me. i love her, but for real..it's time to peace it up. if not we about to be boxing..and i'm not just talking about on the wii. just kidding i wouldn't fight my mama.....but i'm saying.

munchies...

am i the only one who remembers this movie? i swear cause i was looking for a picture to describe what i was feeling right now. and i can't remember if these little creatures we're high and i was just too young & lame to realize. but when i saw the movie poster i was like...why not.

but the point of this post is i'm eating like a fat kid at a candy camp. i'm currently on some steroids to strengthened my optic nerves and the biggest side effect i have is joint pain, stomach pain, & EXTREME hungriness. i mean i am so hungry it makes no sense. i've gained like 7 pounds since friday (i was weighed on wed.). and all i want is more food. my DR. keeps telling me it's cool...let your body do what it's gonna do. but come on.. last time this happened i gained like 30lbs. just letting it happen..could go into a list of other things that just happen as a result, but this ain't the time nor will my food loving fingers allow me to do so cause i''m steady looking for something else to eat.

i just ate my son's doughnuts. which he wont notice till the morning. when i give him his pop tart, grapes, cereal & juice. he'll eat that, play around then about 20 minutes later ask for a doughnut. which i will then have to say, "they are all gone". he will then look at me like, "wtf"...cause he calculates his food and how much is left. i have NO idea how he does it, or why. maybe he got that selfish gene from his mama. but he's gonna be on my ass about those doughnuts in the morning. but right now i'm steady trying to find SOMETHING else, and these grapes are not doing the job.

why doesn't healthy food give you the same buzz?

this is why i'm hot....

this is why i'm hot....

i'm not into blogging for the conventional reasons. i don't need followers, a fan base, or stalkers. i don't thrive on people leaving comments, or telling me that i'm hot. i don't need applause, or to plaster my credits across the page.

that's the reason for you're blog, huh? <--- this is why you're not...

the purpose of this blog is simple. sometimes i have a little extra to say. things that i don't reveal on myspace. things that are too long to post on twitter. and things that aren't all that private that i have to lock it away on my friend's only journal. can all be placed here.

things to know about me:

i type lowercase on purpose. the "i" yes, i do that on purpose. if that annoys you, "i" x ∞ =your ass leaving my blog asap. sometimes my grammar might be a little sluggish (as in i type like i'm on the small bus), but is this a english lit assignment? know i've been to college & graduated (cause a lot of yall don't...but say it like you did) so my intelligence has been validated w/ a degree, so all you blogteachers ---fail me.

i'm a private guy. the things i reveal are the things i reveal. i say i work in music. that's it. as i stated before i have enough accolades to be content w/o having to sell myself for praise. i'm not a stan, fan, groupie, stalker, etc...of anyone. if you are, get a mirror, love yourself & stop it!

another vital thing to remember is, i'm right about 95.3% of the time. so unless you're having a good day (4.7%) , avoid confrontation. i welcome a healthy discussion, a fact driven argument, but i detest irrelevant banter (unless my own).

general direction of topics:

"sexwomusonymo" (mixture of sex, women, music, money w/ a dash of elmo cause i got a 3 y/o).

• i talk about sex.
  what guy doesn't? i love it, i need, i want it....mmmm sex

• i talk about women.

not the same as sex. moreso relationship manners, intolerance of certain behaviors, current lovers & ex's!

• i talk about music but not from a spectator standpoint.

so if you want to gossip about why solange wears green lipstick...i'm a guy & i don't care. real talk.

• i talk about money.
  

that could be the economy down to the $73 damn dollars the post office stole from me....grrr

• i talk about elmo.

i have a 3 y/o that is my world, so just like other annoying parents...i can't stop talking about how Amazing, he is!

these happen to be my most common topics for discussion, but i'm sure as new one's are generated i'll let you know.

that's it. for now. i think. ok......