this week's manfive topic: why do men fear labels?
yanno when everything seems like it's going good. yall are both in sync. headed in the same direction, and you whip out, "this is my boyfriend on him..." and you hear the tire screech sound. you smile turn your head towards him, and he's no longer standing next to you. you thought you were holding onto his arm, but when you look it's a cherry coke. dude is like half way across town already. what is that?
personally, i'm pro labels. i hate when there isn't a label on what i'm in. i don't have to be your boyfriend, but if we're talking..i need to be at least, "the guy i'm talking to.." shit the way i feel about ladies these days i should be doing why chicks fear labels. but i'm clueless on that one because that's just weird. yes, you women who fear labels are weird. i'm gonna take your "lady" badge and give it to one of these dudes who've been dying to have one. lol.
anyway, onto five reasons why men fear labels:
#5: he's doesn't agree with the label you've given him...
this guy, knows he's in the "friend zone" but he wants to be your boyfriend. and he knows the second you say, "you're such a great friend" he now has the label "friend" and not "boyfriend". it's awkward at times to wait for an official label. because no matter the label you give yourself once a woman designates that shit and gives you one you're sitting there like....DAMN. you could think yall fuck buddies. then she turn around and hit you with, this is my "boyfriend". huh? he knows no matter what he considers himself once you've designated him a label he can't get back to the one he picked himself. so he'd rather be left unlabeled then be given one.
#4: he's scared of change...
this is the dude i mentioned before. where everything is going good. yall have been moving in the same direction. his friends like you, his mama likes you. he enjoys being with you, near you, talking to you...but he knows as soon as yall put a label on it yall transform into a "marry-me" bot. it's the reason the transformers are always leaving Cybertron to come to earth. they don't really wanna save us, they just got to get away from those darn "marry-me" bots. you see to a man even though it's a natural progression to that stage you putting a label on something that's going so good scares him. it's like....we're fine the way we are. it then becomes a, "let's not rush" thing. it's a critical move that once made, you can't go back on.
#3: he's scared of being locked-up (missing out)...
to a lot of guys the feeling of being your boyfriend, feels great. he actually wants to be your boyfriend. he likes your company. he enjoys everything about you. it's just a cruel trick God plays on you. because as you know as soon as you get a girlfriend or married that's when everyone come out the wood works wanting you. that's when that sexy chick at work comes over and gives you that smirk, bends over picks up some paper with no panties on. that's when women at the grocery store run down the aisle asking you to squeeze their melons, taste their peaches, & they start to get a little suggestive with your banana. that's when you're walking down the street and a woman just randomly grabs you and starts giving it to you at the pedestrian crossing. it's an ego thing. it's the thought that because he has a title, he is missing out on all the sexy young ladies who probably wouldn't talk, fuck with, or even give him the time of day. but don't tell him that, cause that work, grocery store, crosswalk thing is SO gonna happen.
#2: he's scared of the expectation that comes with it...
it's no secret responsibility scares men. shit responsibility scares everyone: men, women, children, horses, etc.. the only people who love responsibility are filthy nasty dogs. yes i hate dogs. but i digress..
the expectation a lot of times is what scares a man from wanting to commit to being your man. this is for the more serious labels, like husband, father, provider, etc. some men want to revert back to boys in these situation. they aren't ready. it's just too much pressure. in most cases it's not you, it's them. and i know when they say that shit to you, you're side eyeing them like crazy. but i'm saying. it really is them. just like a little boy who puts on his dads clothes. he wants to look, talk, and walk like him, but he isn't ready to step into and fill man shoes. it's not as easy as it seems.
#1: he's scared of failure..
men like to win. that's why we are so competitive. and when you really love your woman. you don't want to let her down. the fears that come with commitment. with opening yourself up. with letting all the fake shit go, and being real with someone. it's scary. women are built emotion tough. we aren't. we hide our emotion all the time. the fear of losing. especially of losing you is crazy. the fear of not being good enough. the fear of not knowing how. this creates enough pressure to through a dude into a panic attack. he could be carrying around issues from previous relationships. he could be carrying around not having a father and not thinking he can be a good father or husband because of that. there are a lot of things associated with labels. a lot of times you think it's simple. a title is just a title. it's just a piece of paper. it's just a baby. but in reality it's life. it's a part of uncharted life that you have to be ready to make that leap. it may take some coaxing, but the right woman will make it an easy transition.