"it's not stalking..if you love them"
- rich munsch, "i love beth cooper"
do you know how much i love you? how much i miss you. how much i think about you? when you told me you didn't love me anymore. when you said it was over. it was like 1000 daggers hit my heart and diced it to pieces. so i wrote a 14 paged letter. telling you how i felt. how much i love you. how much i can't live without you.
i put it in the mail, but when i didn't get a response..i thought maybe you didn't get it. so i called. but something must have been wrong with your phone, because you didn't answer. so i called a few more times. sometimes, back to back. i figured maybe your phone would start working and you'd pick up. i know i left a few voice mails, i just wanted to make sure you knew i was trying to get in touch with you. it wasn't till 2 days later that i decided to drive by your house.
it's weird cause i saw the lights on. heard the tv. and thought i even saw you moving around in there, but you must not have been home. cause i knocked and banged on the door. i even waited on your doorstep for a few hours. just in case you came home. but i guess you were out of town or something.
that's when i decided to show up at your job. because i was worried. i hadn't heard from you. hadn't seen you. didn't know what was going on. then the next thing i knew, you were calling the police on me. the police. really? what on earth could i have done to make you feel this way? all i wanted to do was talk. fix things. work on us. you won't even give me a chance. now you're acting as if you're scared of me. as if i'd hurt you? have i ever hurt you?
would you like for me to leave? because if you want me to leave, i will. i just don't understand. i don't understand why you don't love me. why you don't want to talk to me. why you don't miss me, the way i miss you. can i at least call you later to talk about this? what...i can't call you either? how about text you, g-chat, email....nothing? you want me to just walk away? act as if you never meant anything to me? you don't want me to see you, talk to you, or contact you ever again? is it that easy to turn off your feelings for me? ok. if that's how you feel. fine, i will give you..your space.
but just know i will be waiting outside on your lawn in he rain with a boom box & roses reciting a poem i'm going home to write for you. i'm not giving up on you. i'm not giving up on us...even if it kills me.
or gets me arrested.
[october challenge: day#24]