Saturday, October 2, 2010

not all black men..

i know you've heard that there are no good black men. that black men don't graduate highschool, let alone college. black men don't support their women or children. black men don't want black women. black men don't want to work. black men are lazy. all black men are thugs. black men are prone to either be in jail, headed to jail, or released from jail.

well i'm here to say..."where they do that at?". cause as i look at my friends. i don't see that image. out of all of my close friends i can't think of one of them that didn't graduate college, let alone highschool. all my friends have jobs. in fact all of my close friends have great jobs. none of them have been on maury. we're in the..."wife em' up" or "wrap it up" club. none have been incarcerated. none have ever sold drugs. all of them love and respect their mothers, sisters, friends, women of all colors..and even moreso black women. so again...who are all these stereotypes based on?

  • i was out with my son the other night & one of my friends. and we we're out at a restaurant by a club my boy owns. i said owns. not only does he own a club, he owns a home. he's probably thrown a million parties in your city. i'm not bragging on him, just saying. he's a young guy (i know some of yall think 32 is old...but it's really not). he graduated from Clark. he worked his way up. this is a guy i grew up with. 

  • my friend who got me involved in all these recreational leagues, is a teacher. he teaches math at the same highschool we went to. he coaches these kids. mentors them. yea he'll go out and get drunk with us on saturday night, but sunday he's doing lesson plans and is at school 6am in the morning. he went to Morehouse. this is a guy i grew up with. 

  • my "little brother" (though the big brother program) i mentored when i was fresh out of college. called me up and wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend. he called me up the other day and told me he's engaged (no she's NOT pregnant lol). he's about to graduate college and is headed to medical school..and he wants her to come with him. this is a guy who i watched grow up.

  • my cousin who was born one month after me. my best friend since his birth. i grew up with, went to morehouse with, pledged with, graduated with, went on got his masters at UGA. and is one of my official football rivals (since i went to Ga Tech). he writes for magazines, papers, he's also a dancer. you've probably seen him in a million videos, on a million tours, a few movies. is probably one of the most intellectual people i know. is the real "huey freeman" (boondocks). the godfather of my son. this is a guy i grew up with.

  • the other half of my professional duo. like me he went to school before he got into music, he graduated from the university of central florida. he can play any instrument that can make a sound. he can listen to any melody and play it back to you instantly. this dude...has made me a lot of money (lol...i mean i've made him a lot too, i'm saying) that's the ying to my yang. all the things i won't say, he says. all the things i won't do, he'll do. together we've done some amazing shit. he's also the godfather to my son. 

what i'm getting at is this. these are real black men. these are the men that everyone are saying aren't out there. maybe some have untraditional jobs. but none chased an impossible dream. we all did what we needed to do to get where we are. and when i sit around my friends. and i have my son around my friends. i'm proud to have him around black men who are successful. black men who are educated. black men who are respectful. black men who are good men. my son will have that foundation, of being around positive black men. your friends ARE a reflection of you. the reason why i've managed to be a man whose stayed out of trouble. never smoked a cigarette, blunt, or tried drugs. the reason i've stayed off the block. the reason i've stayed out of jail. was because i was always surrounded by positive people. my friends have all "made it" in whatever sense of the word, because we have managed to escape the negative stereotype of what a black man is.

next time someone says "all black men....*insert negative comment*..tell them:

not all black men.

[october challenge: day #2]


Krissy said...

*applause* I feel the same way and I always wonder why "all black men" have to be thrown in a pile with all the "ain't shit" black men.

The Amazon Bff is single, hook her up! lol

Monique said...

Allow me to duck from all the shoes about to be thrown at me but I must agree, there are tons of great black men around. it comes down to positioning. Position yourself with the good people and it should be bestowed upon you in return. Some people get so caught up in the status and bank accounts that they forget the heart is priceless. Nonetheless, I know some great men and I'm proud to say so. I have a poster that hangs in my son's room that says "be someone you would be proud to know". I hope he remembers that forever.

PS: I didn't know you went to Ga Tech!

xxxx said...

I agree with Monique and I agree with you as well.. There are good black men out there, its all about who you choose to surround yourself with and deal with.

Isis said...

yay for this post!

we all need reminders that the media is not real (or a holistic depection of) life.

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@krissy: lol...oh so now i'm chuck woolery?..just hooking folks up now.

@monique: yea i agree.i think it's important to teach kids that there is nothing that can't do. when you limit them, you cripple their dreams and aspirations. and yea, i went to GA Tech. got an engineering degree from Morehouse/GA Tech.

@xxxx: yea choices are very important when it comes to your life. who you choose to be around you. what you choose to do. things you want, want to avoid...all of that shapes who you become.

@isis: thanks. and i agree. black people in general have been typecast in roles that don't portray the true essence of who we are as a people. yes, there are plenty of negative people who enforce the stereotypes, but there are also the positive. but everyone knows the negative aspects are the one's that are plastered all over every statistic you can imagine.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Sooooo who do I need to send my contact info to so that I'm surrounded by all of these well to do Black men????!!!! LOL, GREAT post!

sunshinestar110 said...

I agree with Starrla where do i need to send my information to because i must be missing out...and missing out i loved this one!!!

Qu33n Kam... said...

I always felt there are good black men around but the bitch ass black men make it hard for those black men to be seen and noticed. Living where I live (los angeles) for some reason the good black men aren't interested in me =( (idk why I think I'm a good black woman) or they are already taken. I want to find a good single black man but idk where he is I thought I would meet him in college but our black male community was so small and they were all taken. Its really hard for me to find a good guy and I don't know why, any suggestions?

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@starrla monae & sunshinestar110: thanks. and trust there are TONS of guys like this who are just waiting for women like yall. just gotta keep them eyes peeled.

@Qu33n Kam: it always seems like what you're looking for is never around when you're looking. it's almost like walking in a store, knowing what you want, and then not finding your size. you gotta walk around, almost leave the store, before you see your size hanging up by the register. i don't think good guys are hiding from you. i don't think there aren't enough in your area. it might just be you're overlooking them. a good guy is simply someone who will treat you good. which if you demand it, most guys will do that. just have to find the one that fits your right.