Friday, July 30, 2010

manfive friday #51

i know i'm always talking about the evils of list. but there is one list you really should jot down before getting into a serious relationship or investing your energy in someone. and that's a list of what you need him to care about when it comes to you.


manfive friday #51 topic of the week: 5 things every man should care about when it comes to his woman...

like everything else, a "concern list" is subjective. and you could probably list a million things that you WANT...but there is 5 basic things you need to always include. 5 things that he should already be hardwired to care about. and probably the 5 things you'll fight about the most in a relationship if he doesn't...

#5: you're in pain..

if you're sad. if someone just stabbed you. if someone just hurt your feelings. he should care. if you're crying (and you're not just doing it cause yall are arguing)..he should care. ok, he should even care if you're just doing it cause yall are arguing too.

but i'm saying. i call it, "make it better". every man should give you some of that, "make it better". yanno what that is. for yall most times it's a hug. it's making your laugh. it's changing the subject. for us..it's usually sex, food, sex, listening, sex...lol

#4: your safety...



the protect gene should be embedded in a man's head. what's the point of having a big & strong man, if he's not going to protect you? i'm not talking about being your personal  body guard. i'm not talking about beating folks up if they mess with you. those things are part of protecting...but it's not an everyday concern.

this is partially the reason why i say height & build isn't an indication of how well a man can protect you. a man should care about your everyday safety.

  • he should care you live alone. 
  • he should care you work late. 
  • he should care about your transportation. 
if yall go out and meet up some place. he should call you to make sure you made it home safely. talk to you on the phone as you find your keys. if he knows you're going to be out late with your friends. hit you up and make sure things are going okay. talk to you on your walk home at night. ask you if you've gotten your car serviced if it's last breath. or double check and make sure you got jumper cables, a gas can, spare tire, tire irons, etc..different things you may not think about that you may need. if he gets that call that you need him to come get you, he needs to try to arrange that. it's too dangerous these days. he should care enough to make sure you're safe. that's the safety that matters. if you hear something, he should check it out for you. if you get scared at night he should get his ass up and come over. if he hasn't heard from you in a few days. he should at least make sure you're still alive.  these are simple things that seem like courtesy, but are really important. if a man doesn't care enough to make sure you've made it home safely he's not a gentleman nor is will he be a great emergency contact.


#3: your taken care of

he should care that you're alright...i'm not talking about the "paying all your bills" taking care of you. or the "buying everything you want" taking care of you. i'm talking about the general concern like:
  • you aren't over there starving. 
  • sitting in the dark with no lights. 
  • stranded on the side of the road.

basically just care about your well being. i know it's hard out there for everyone. but if your refrigerator is sitting on "E". he should make sure you have something to eat. and it goes both ways...you should never be with someone who doesn't care about your basic necessities. if you can't pay your light bill, and he can't come up off the extra cash, or let you stay with him..he should at least go sit in the dark with you. he should also make time to come rescue you. isn't that the purpose of a "knight in shining armor"? yes it's annoying as hell to have to leave what you're doing because "someone" forgot to get gas. or that "someone" never learned how to change a tire. or "someone" didn't get a an oil change. or "someone" chose to drive 20 miles out the way to get an icee and is now stuck on the side of the road. but let's be honest. if you don't come rescue your girl, some other dude will. but like i said above, it's dangerous. there are a lot of people out there who will help you, but there are a lot of people out there you shouldn't trust. so it's a gamble. i'd rather be inconvenienced due to your failure to be responsible, then let something happen to you...lol

bottom line, he should make sure you "aiight". he should at least ask. again, seems like a courtesy..but it really is a necessity when you're with someone.

#2: feel loved

he should care that you feel loved or that you feel unloved. it's a few different aspects to this:

  • he should show you he loves you
  • he should care that you love yourself /don't love yourself
  • he should care that you love him / don't love him
you shouldn't have to ask someone you're with to love you. you shouldn't have to ask them to show it. that should just be a basic part of being with you. and understand that people show their love in different ways. that's why it's very tricky & subjective (yea, that's that word again..). everyone isn't hardwired the same. everyone doesn't show love the same. when i say this should be one of his concerns, i'm saying..if you don't feel it. he should care enough to do something about it. he should work on it. sometimes you can make the effort to show someone love in the way they need it. not saying you participate in crazy fetishes, cults, shit like that..just saying that someone who loves you won't expect you to go outside of your comfort zone to the point where it infringes on your personal beliefs. so trust that loving someone their way on occasion isn't going to kill you. "give her something she can feel...let her know your love's for real.." should be your motto..

next..if you're with someone who doesn't love themselves...you should care. it's not your job to make someone love themselves. that's something that have to do. but if you see you're with someone like that..you should care. you should either try to help them or realize that it's not worth it and not make it any worse. and i know the latter part of that statement sounds harsh, but it's true.."if you don't love yourself, how will you ever love anyone else?". sometimes to make someone focus on themselves you have to step out the way. sometimes you hinder someone from dealing with their own personal shit. they love you more than they love themselves. when you see that behavior, either try to help them. try to encourage them. if you can't make a woman see she's beautiful, she'll never fully give herself the love she needs to have in order to give you the love she needs to give you.

that being said..if a guy doesn't care that you love him. again..he's not worth the time. that's a big indication that the relationship isn't going anywhere. because as soon as you're serious about someone want something more with them..you want them to love you. you care. so if a guy is with you but isn't that concerned about your feelings towards him...trust he's not really that interested. i had chicks tell me, "none of my other boyfriends fought with me over how i felt about them..". and i tell them, "where are the other guys now?..they didn't fight over it cause they didn't care". it's not a "your old boyfriends were full of shit"..well maybe it is. but at the same time i believe you fight for things that are important to you. and if someone loving you isn't important to you..why the hell are you even with them? just saying..

#1: you are happy

what's the point of being with someone if they aren't happy? if he doesn't care about your happiness, what does he care about? you can't make someone happy 100% of the time. i'm not saying you should be on "smiley face" every time you're around him or you see him. i'm not saying you can't fight or disagree. i find a lot of women when they fight with you, instantly get "unhappy". they will act as if that one fight is the biggest shit in the world...and now "it's time to work on the relationship". to some, fighting isn't normal. and i know a lot of you are thinking, "who the hell...doesn't fight?..i want some of that". yea i agree..i want some of that. because for all of you who fuss and fight on the regular..yall know that it happens. it's going to happen. it's apart of loving. anyone that says, "we never fight.." is a lie. i'm sorry. i'ma say it. you may not drag it out. you may not be screaming in the streets, at the top of our lungs, at each other...but you're gonna disagree. you're going to get upset. you're going to get mad sometimes at that person. that's just life.

the point i'm making is, a man should care if you say.."i'm unhappy". he should listen. he should try to change that. and it's not just limited to what he does. if you're unhappy with your job. if you're unhappy, with your home life. if you're unhappy with your friends. he should listen. he should try to help YOU change that. concern is just another word for thought. the thought should always be there. it's like a gift. it's not about how much you spend. it's not about how much you do. it's the thought. all of these "concerns" are about the thought. you have to make a woman feel you care. and you have to show her you care. a thought is something that if unspoken..not acted upon..is invisible.

again..seems like courtesy. but truly is a necessity.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

#twitterkills thursday 36

you ever been on you way home. left work a little late. had one last errand to run. stuck in traffic. yet, you're not worried since you dvr'ed all your shows. you get home, get settled, and decide to wait 10 minutes so your show can end and you can watch it from the beginning. you get on your computer, sign on twitter...and about 10 people have ruined your favorite tv show for you?

this week's #twitterkills thursday 36 topic of the week: everyone on twitter is watching tv and RUINING it for everyone else..

one of the biggest problems with twitter is, you can't watch SHIT and be on twitter. even if you're watching it while you're on twitter all the narration, opinions, "shouting at the screen" (yanno how ppl shout at the screen in movies...yea they do that shit on twitter with all the random tweets) that goes on will drive you crazy. let the show be popular, there will be a hashtag (#) for everything. for like an hour and half it will even be a trending topic.





they will ruin tv shows...



@tweeter1: i'm watching #rhoa (real housewives of atlanta)...kim and dwight fighting
@tweeter2: oh shit, kim about to get that wig snatched #rhoa
@tweeter3: did you see nene's butt...she need to do better #rhoa
@tweeter4: omg, did she just slap dwight? #rhoa


they will ruin award shows...


@tweeter1: YES! i knew trey songz would win male r&b #yuup
@tweeter2: aww man...how did trey songz win male r&b over usher? #mtvawards
@tweeter3: did you see usher's face, it's gonna be a bad night for him lmao #ugotitbad
@tweeter4: why wasn't maxwell nominated? these award shows suck #prettywangs




they will even ruin the fucking news...

@tweeter1: breaking news there was an earthquake in hawaii..now i gotta try to go some place else for spring break #springbreak
@tweeter2: omg kim kardashian died..#rip. on wait..it was khole #whocares
@tweeter3: they arrested @melgibson at the strip club for calling the strippers cunts while he touched theirs..it's on channel 2 #wholaughingnow
@tweeter4: they sold out of #iphones in less than 2 minutes..shit i was #482 in line. now i have to wait 2 days to get one..

either way..if you want to watch anything. enjoy anything. if you want to be surprised. STAY OFF TWITTER. because if there is even a second delay on your cable/satellite. some asshole is going to tell you what happens before it happens.

*calling up jim carey* "aye dude...i need you to come through cable guy style and disconnect some boxes"...*thunderstorm shorting out your tv's* & *trees falling on your satellite dish* ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzAp *die*

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

bloggers rights...

aiight, i usually stay way from "entertainment" issues. usually because i know a lot of the people involved and although i'm pretty anonymous i feel like most times my mouth will get me in a lot of trouble. i also don't participate in rumors & all the other nonsense that people talk about that they have no clue about..

but today. i was thinking. this thing with sandra rose & jermaine dupri. is an example of "you can dish it, but you can't take it". first let me start off by saying, i don't condone violence, threats, or anything else in person, on the internet, from a rocket ship...whatever.

but i do feel like the "bloggers right" to say whatever should come with a stipulation that if someone doesn't like what you're saying or doing they have to right to say off the cuff shit back to you. do i think JD is planning an assault on sandra rose...uh no.

do i think that JD thinks sandra rose  is his arch nemesis that he needs to rid the world of? no. do i think he trying to pull at "get kat stacks" on sandra rose and have folks jump her and make her apologize to him? eh..again no. what i think is IF he even called her. he was drunk & pissed off. and he spewed a few too many loose words. no one is scared of JD. and i'm not saying cause he short..cause well err i have no room to talk. i'm saying no one thinks he's rolling with goons. or that he has a "get'em" posse waiting to jump women, men, & children. i think his words are being milked for attention. and the united "we are blogger" front is rallying behind her like this is a freedom of speech thing. if she is free to comment on his life. if she can use her media pass to expose him on different aspects of his life. he can't call her ass up and say, "shut up bitch...do you know who i am? you just finish saying i wasn't shit..i'm about to show you i'm shit". so um. ok. not the greatest choice of words (that is not a direct quote, just kinda a summary of the "alleged" conversation). you just finished saying he was a has been and no one cared about him anymore. why do you care he threatened you? why are you afraid of him now? just saying...just one of those scratch your head moments.

again. before yall attack me. i don't condone threats. i'm not saying he can say "i'ma blow you & your baby up" (he did not say that, but it's more interesting then what he actually did allegedly said). but i feel like take responsibility for your words and your actions. i know tons of bloggers that talk as if they are talking about their ex-best friend when they talk about celebrities. "oh girl yanno you were wrong...remember when you cheated on your boyfriend? girl, kiss that baby...".




you do NOT know these people. 

wait let me repeat that...you do NOT know these people.

i know a lot of bloggers who think negativity is the way to make people interested. so they go on tirades about this person. what they are wearing. how ugly their kids are. how fucked up their personal life is. they make post showing their ex girlfriends with new men. they make post saying how folks are just failing at life and should just kill themselves. we all have freedom of speech. and just like if i'm in your face calling you a loser. just like if i'm in your face saying, "that's why your girl left you". if i say it, i need to be able to deal with the consequences. and not saying it's right. but if somebody tried to throw in my fact that my ex was with someone new and i was still on that. i'd probably cuss your ass out and threaten you too. not saying it's right.but just saying, if you say it in my face you expect fireworks. why you think you saying it behind a computer you should expect any less?

this isn't to back JD. this isn't to spite sandra rose. i don't REALLY know the situation. this is just in general. bloggers have the responsibility to be responsible for their rants.  yes it's your opinion, you're entitled to it. but remember they are people just like you. and just like your ass is on twitter threatening @ihatekatstacks. calling her a hoe and saying i hope someone comes and beats your ass, rapes you, etc...it's the same thing JD did. idle threats from someone mad. you can say, "you're career is over..go kill yourself" (not a direct quote but again more interesting than what she said). but he isn't suppose to say anything back to you i guess.

 JD is a person, just like everyone else. he has feelings like everyone else. he can get stupid, say ignorant shit..like everyone else. that's what has happened. why is anyone acting outraged? if you skurred..say you skurred and go through the process to right that wrong. but continuing to talk shit about someone you claim to be scared of is a true sign that you really aren't skuuuuuurred. so shut up. if anything you should have learned that saying off the cuff shit gets you in situations like this...you ready to get slapped in the club like kat stacks?...

*DISCLAIMER* that last sentence was hypothetical. i am in no way threatening to slap you like kat stacks. i'm just saying it'll be on worldstarhiphop. *carrie's mother's voice* and we'll all be laughing at you..


*DISCLAIMER* for my *DISCLAIMER* i am not condoning violence against women in my above comment. i'm just saying yanno it was funny.

*DISCLAIMER* for my *DISCLAIMER* for that *DISCLAIMER* aw, fuck it..if yall gonna sue me just sue me..

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

not my type part 2...

i thank everyone who participated and left a comment. thank you. as promised i'm going to post my answer/opinion. so the other day i asked a question...

Q: does physical attraction supersede all other attraction? can you be with someone you aren't physically attracted to?
 
My Answer:

in my opinion, attraction is important. it's necessary. you have to like the person you're with. there has to be something. but physical attraction is subjective. what you find attractive doesn't particularly mean that's what makes someone attractive. just means that's what attractive is to you. there is no universal "that's attractive". i was taught at a young age, that beauty is from within. and that attractiveness is a quality that exudes you. it's that swagger that people brag about. it's why money makes people more attractive. it's why power makes people more attractive. it's your attitude that attracts. yes, looking at someone and drooling helps. seeing someone with a body cut up like a slasher film is great. but try explaining why seeing someone with tons of "swag" and a gut is just as amazing as someone with a six pack naked. the anticipation of both are equal when you see them through the same "attraction goggles"...
the problem is, the "attraction goggles" are optional. and we don't choose to wear them with everyone. before you get to know someone none of the other qualities are visible. the only thing you have to go on is their looks. it's the first thing you see. it's what you notice..whether it's positive or not. so what makes someone not attractive? what makes them displeasing to your eyes, ugly, or "not your type". what is it that turns you off to the point that you couldn't see yourself with someone? like is it that easy?


to me it's not. the only thing that will get your disqualified from the door is...you being a man. that is definitely not my type. that's about it. yes, there are people i look at and might think, "damn....you're sexy". but it's nothing that's gonna make me totally be like, "there is no chance no hell..". i've just learned that there are too many good people out there to judge them on their appearance.

another thing i've noticed is there is a lot of "can't help it" discrimination. shit like height, skin color, specific features..you just can't help. it's really not my fault that i'm short. it wasn't "not eating my veggies" that made me stop growing. it's genetics. same goes for my skin color. i can sit in the sun all day, i'm not getting any darker. yes from the door a chick will say, "i don't date short light skin men". whaaat? 


don't get me wrong, i'm not nit picking. you have to right to like what you like. you have to right to look at someone and lose your mind. but imagine if someone you were attracted to, wasn't attracted to you due to things they deem "unattractive". flip it around and let the guy you're interested in, tell you he'd date you if you weren't so tall. he's the same height, or an inch taller/shorter. go up to a guy and he tell you, "he usually dates lighter chicks". if you thought you were a decent looking person, and someone treated you like the queen of the ugly parade. to me if someone shows you interest. and they seems like a genuine person. what's in physical attraction? 

is that some fairytale shit? 

to me, love = attraction. if i love you, you're the most beautiful person to me. it's your attitude/personality that makes you ugly. think about it. think of all the exes you used to date and thought they were fine as hell...now you look at them and they make your stomach eat itself and throw up. you look at them and shit you never noticed, shit that never bothered you is now sticking out like a red flag. that's not because they've suddenly become unattractive, it's because you don't look at them with your "attraction" goggles anymore. am i lying?...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

not my type....

so..i was talking to a friend about one of her friends. she was telling me how, this guy who works at this store up the street from their house has a huge crush on her friend.

she had been telling me for a while how the guy was always flirting with her friend. and even told her one day that if she "hooked that up" for him that everything in the store for her was free. i'm sure he didn't mean that literally. but it was implied that if you hook me up, i'll hook you up.

so casually they see dude and tell him that it's the friend's birthday. so the next time dude sees the friend he has a $150 gift certificate, a card, etc. for her. so she takes the gift. thanks him. they even go on a walk that night. sounds like the great beginnings of a love connection huh?

not actually. she doesn't want to date dude because he is short. he's not in shape. now immediately. i start laughing. she's one of those, "black women can't get married" chicks and she's discriminating based off of looks? this chick couldn't keep a man to save her life. the dudes she normally mess with, wouldn't have done that for her, not without being her boyfriend first. why would she let how dude look stop her from getting to know him? yanno the movies where the nerd gets the "hot chick" at the end. where he steals her heart by being a "nice guy". that shit don't happen in real life. women will stop a dude at the front door if he's not "her type". when women do it and it's like.."oh i understand girl, he just ain't your type". men aren't allowed to have "types" or preferences". when we prefer something. when we are outspoken or criticize a woman we are superficial, self loathing, jerks. when a woman has a "type", that's just what she likes.
 
what happened to the days where people tried to see you for you? i have a question for all of you. and i want you to be COMPLETELY honest. no political correct answers. anonymous posting is turned on in case you fear judgment. lol. i will share my answer later...
  
Q: does physical attraction supersede all other attraction? can you be with someone you aren't physically attracted to?

Friday, July 23, 2010

manfive friday #50

this topic is courtesy of a tweet i saw the other day on my twitter time line. someone asked, "women how do you feel about dating a guy who lives with his parents?..."

i didn't follow the actual discussion, but as i was sitting here thinking up topics it jumped back in my mind. how many of you ladies would date a guy who lived with his parents? i mean once yall both graduated high school?..

i'm saying, not throwing no shade. but women can do that. women can live with their parents forever. . . no judgment. but guys. come on. are you serious? don't be like "the entertainer" living in your parent's basement. if you live in a house and you're not in the master bedroom..it's NOT your house. if you live in a house and you're going in on the bills but none of them are in your name..it's NOT your house. if you live in a house that you have to go around to the back of under the stairs to get to you room..it's NOT your house. stop trying to sell us the lie your parents are living with you. we just don't believe you.

manfive friday #50 topic of the week: 5 legit reasons why a man could still be living with his parents.

ladies listen closely i'm about to give you the only 5 reasons you could still date a dude who lives with his parents...




#5: if dude has recently graduated high school or college.

there is a time limit ladies. if he is class of '00. and it's 2010..he shouldn't still be living with his parents. yes, it's a recession. yes, it's harder to find work straight out of school. yes, "the man" is still busy keeping some folks down. yes, i agree it's hard out there for a pimp...but you should aspire to be more than a pimp. you should also aspire to free your parents of financial responsibilities for a grown ass man. if they let you come back home, they probably were helping you out while you were in school. and now they are footing the bills while you try to get on your feet.

ladies. this is the "potential" dude. you have to see it in him, to be able to date him. because more than likely. he'll be the one with nice shit. a nice car. nice family. but no fucking job. you'll have to judge him on his dreams and aspirations. all of which he hasn't quite formed or got to the "how i'm gonna do it" part. be careful on this dude. he could turn out to be a success. or he can turn into the dude that moves out his parents house and starts shacking up with you. now you're taking care of a grown ass man. it starts by him staying over a few nights a week. then all of a sudden,dude is on YOUR couch. you're getting ready for work and his ass eating YOUR cereal, watching YOUR tv, sitting on YOUR couch telling you to have a good time at work. a good time at work? oh yea..his ass didn't get the memo that fun isn't the word for work. he doesn't know "work" was an actual job, cause his ass ain't got no damn job. make sure this dude is actually making moves to better himself. or you'll find yourself with a bum, bum, bum, bum, bum...



#4: If he's a slave to his family..and has to help them survive..

true story. my cousin is a slave to his family. his family is on the brink of losing everything every week, almost like the Evan's family (Good Times). every time he gets out the house they pull him back in with a "sad story" & expected responsibility to his family. he is able to move out, but his family has him helping keep the lights on, helping pay the mortgage, sharing a car..etc. he's not the kind of guy that is ideal to date because with owed responsibilities like that he'll never be able to give you anything.

the reason i say he's date-able...is because all he needs is a woman to rescue him from his family. he need a woman who will come into his life. make his ass move across country and he'll be free. because he's a worker. he'll work anywhere, doing anything. that's all he's been doing all his life. is working. and he is loyal and dedicated to taking care of his responsibilities. if you can rescue a guy like this. i say go for it. because you'll never have to worry about him being unemployed or him expecting anyone else to take care of you. so you have to be built to fight his mother, who is in control of his life. if that is a "no-go" surrender at hello. just walk the fuck away...because mothers that got their hands in their son's wallets are willing to fight to the death to protect what they deem theirs. so tread lightly with this type of dude. admire his loyalty. but be scared of the monster that will hate the very thought of you.


#3: he's saving to buy a house...

okay.there are three rules to this.

  • rule #1: he actually has a job
  • rule #2: he actually has a savings account. not just putting money away in his checking account, under his mattress, in a piggy bank, in a hole in the backyard, in his sock, etc.
  • rule#3: he has a deadline...knows a figure...and is actively looking for homes.
if he doesn't follow these three rules, that ninja is lying. how you saving to buy a house and you ain't got no job? that being said, you're saving a large sum of money but you have no "special" account for it. it's like filing important paper work. you don't put that shit in the same folder as everything else. if he has no savings account, i can promise you he has no savings. and finally if there is no "deadline" when he's gonna be done saving this money. if he's not sure how much he's trying to put down on a house or save. and if he hasn't even begin to look for the kinda home he's trying to invest all this money into. this dude is just puffing smoke. if he tell you he's staying with his parents and not paying bills so he can save up to buy a home. that's a great strategy. if his parents are willing to help him out that way, they are great parents. they aren't nurturing a bum, they are enabling their man child to "get himself together". recognize this quality as something good. if he checks out..then you can possibly be in that house with him in a few years. so don't sleep on the "saver dude".


#2: if he's taking care of a parent: sick or elderly..

these days with people not being able to retire till late in life. people not having coverage or insurance like they used to. it's not uncommon to find yourself in a situation where you're taking care of a sick or elderly parent. yes it's more common that women take care of their parents, in some cases a guy might be staying home to help out a parent who is sick or just old. maybe he's staying with grandma so she'll have company & not be in that big ol' house alone. yea..it's a stretch. but maybe, just maybe he loves his family. i never really saw dudes being caretakers of the elderly like that. until i witness my grandma get older and sicker. and she needs her kids to help her. she doesn't want to stay in a nursing home. therefore wherever she stays, it requires whoever is there to help her. now i see my mom taking on the brunt of the work when she has 6 other siblings. two of which are brothers who act like they can't be bothered because they are "men". it makes me value my relationship with my mom more. and to me if she was ever to get sick i would take care of her.

that being said...women who date a man, get with a man who feels it's his responsibility to care for his parent have to be down for that job too. so beware that with him come added responsibility. also the fact that...even if he moves they will be moving with him. so be nice..he's doing a nice thing. but make sure you like his mama/dad. because it's a great chance they're gonna be yall third wheel.






#1: if his only other option is the street...

simply put. if he has no where else to go..you can't fault him for living with his parents. i mean you can look at it like....

"okay...do i really want to be with someone with no options"

or you can look at it like....

"at least he has some place to go..."

there could be very good explanations. let me start with those then we'll delve into why this is the kinda dude you just need to close the blinds on.

good explanations:


  •  maybe he JUST lost his job
  •  maybe he JUST got divorced
  •  maybe he JUST moved back to the state (starting over..)
  •  maybe he's JUST in transition to his new place
  •  maybe his roommate flaked out on the rent and got him evicted (having a roommate and being a grown ass man is also a problem, but that's a topic for another day)
  • etc...


close the blinds:


  • he quit his job, with no other way to pay his rent
  • he moved out to avoid paying his half of the rent (he's the flaker)
  • he cheated on his ex, and got put out the house
  • he just got out of jail
  • etc..


my point is this. you want a man who takes having shit (like a place to stay) as a priority. yes, some times people fall on hard times. yes sometimes you have to do what you have to do. just make sure that living with his parents is his "plan z" not his "plan b". make sure it's his last resort. because the guy who is living with his parents because he's personally fucked up...will always look for them to bail him out. they allow him to be a weak ass dude. and aren't doing him a favor at all. so unless you're the type of chick who wants to feel like your 14 again, and be afraid you're gonna get caught making out. or if he has you sneaking out in the middle of the night. climbing through the window and shit. this is not the guy for you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

heart burglar..

call me a thief. call me a heart burglar. whatever.

arrest me. lock me up. throw away the key. because i want to spend eternity in your love box.

yes, that was me..with the sledge hammer standing outside your walls. trying to break them down. see i saw them a mile away and i thought to myself...even though i can't see over it. even though i can't see through it. even though i don't know what's on the other side..it's worth the effort, breaking it down. so don't mind me while i try to break in.

i know it sounds ridiculous. trying to break in, to be locked up. but that's where i wanna be. you're where i wanna be. i just gotta be there. so let me pick your mind, your heart, your soul..i promise to be gentle. see i'm a professional, heart burglar that is. i don't like to stop til i've stolen it. and yes, it would be easier for you to just give it to me. but we all know the best things, are the things we work hard to get. and since it belongs to you. and you're kinda selfish. my only other option is to steal it.

so are we gonna do this the easy or the hard way? you gonna leave the door open or do i have to crawl through the window? come down the chimney. slide through a crack. hide in your bushes? or do i have to huff & puff and blow your wall down?

you wanna fight me for it..is that it? come on, we can thumb wrestle for it. no? how about flip a coin? *pulling out double head quarter*, "heads, i win". still not good enough? ok...where's the hoops of fire i have to jump through? is there an obstacle course? because i'm saying i am a bit out of shape..but i will hobble, wobble, & almost die (have a heart attack) attempting to obtain your love. just point me in the direction of your heart, then act like it's a shopping spree and "throw it in the bag..".

no one has to get hurt. if you just cooperate. it's not a stick up, unless you want it that way. and this isn't a gun, but if you keep on looking so good it might just go off. just saying. so what's it gonna be? you gonna give it to me. . . or do i have to break in, run faster than your dogs (your girls), deactivate your alarm (your hesitation) scale up and down you walls, tripping over the debris (your baggage), pick the locks of your mind...to get to your heart?

because i'll do it. and i promise once i get it..it's gonna be mine. and i'm not giving it back. don't worry you won't miss it. you'll already have mine. free & clear.

#twitterkills thursday 35

greetings & salutations....

i know i neglected missed #twitterkills thursday last week. it was on a brief hiatus. but it's back...and this week's topic is "people who follow you, don't know you, then start DM'ing you..."

  • thou should not litter my DM box with bullshit. 
  • thou should not DM me shit that makes me think you've been hacked. 
  • thou should not DM me like we are friends, if we are not. okay. 
  • thou should not solicit my participation in your life in my DM's


so this dude followed me. and i try to follow everyone back after a quick glance to make sure you're not a spammer. even if you look a little lame, i will give you a chance. so i followed this dude. and the next thing i know i got a DM saying..

"Yes, this is another check my site DM" 

um..dude. i don't have any other "check my site DM's" cause i don't add spammers. and honestly when i see these kinda of DM's i think you've been hacked. i go to his page and he has this same link splattered across his timeline. so i'm thinking..hmm...

then i get another DM,

"i don't want to be the best or get rich from my music...check out my site". 

dude. all this advertisement in my DM's in a no go. DM's are for private conversations, friends to talk a little reckless, & flirting. do not hit my DM's especially if you know me with bullshit like "check my link". i don't know you..and i'm not the curious type. i'll never get to know you if your advertise to me against my wishes.

die dude. die a slow DM-less & UNFOLLOWED death...*wither*

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

versatile award...

thank you, thank you to da boss bitch for this award & tagging me and giving me the..

Versatile Blogger Award which means I must then list 7 random facts about myself and tag some of my favorite bloggers.

i tag all you lovely people. some of you have already been tagged, the one's who have not..consider yourself tagged. and just do it.

so onto 7 random facts about me...

#7: i'm an avid hat wearer. i always have on a cap.

#6: i wear glasses, but not as much since i've had problems with my eyes. i do need them, just wearing them all the time is uncomfortable. i also don't wear contacts cause they don't fit in my eyes right..

#5: i'm an unforgiving winner & big shit talker. . . i wanna win everything i play. and i'll be pissed off if you're on my team & you make me lose. spades, sports, whatever..if you're the reason..i'ma be pissed. i can't even fake it. i want to win. i set out to win. i'm a trash talker who will talk shit from the door. i'll put the card on my forehead. i'll turn all my cards over and tell you pick which one i play next. i'll spot you 20 points in basketball playing to 21.

#4: i love gumballs, but i can't chew them due to TMJ  (temporomandibular joint disorder), which basically means it hurts when i chew repetitively over and over again. so food = yes. gum = no.


#3: i'm allergic to metal/stainless steel. so i've can only wear REAL jewelry. if you give me jewelery that is plated it will break me out instantly. that goes for backs of earrings. that goes for watches..i used to try to paint the back with nail polish of fossil watches. about 2 days later my skin would be peeling, red and have small hive like bumps on it. yes, it was that serious.  even belt fasteners. for the longest i could only wear belts fastener was covered by a material. i have to make sure there is fabric in between my belts and my skin. or i'll pull back my shirt and my stomach will break out. it sounds simple, but trust..it's a pain in the ass.


#2: i witnessed a murder....my ex murdered my fish...we we're moving...and we were transferring the fish from the old tank. but there was no new tank set up. and the fish was sick. he had spots on him and everything, but he was a trooper. she told me it had died. but i saw him moving a little. she put him in the toilet and flushed it. he swimmed back up. he was fighting the murder...then she flushed again. and that was it. i kept going back trying to see if i'd come back. sometimes, when i was in there for a long time, i thought i heard him. i'd look, but it wasn't anything alive in there..lol


#1: i'm a DIY'er. (do it yourselfer). if it has to be screwed, nailed, or hung i'm the man (in every sense of the word, lol). but for real. i love doing shit with my hands. i love fixing things. i love figuring out how to fix things. i'm so proud of the fixtures, chandeliers i've put up, the faucets, fans, floors, paint, etc... i'm obsessed with fix your home shows. don't be surprised if you see me on "man caves" or if i have my own show on the DIY network. don't be surprised. there's already this guy on there who's name sounds surprisingly like mine....people say it's a sign lol..

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

spoiled rotten...

so i'm having a cool morning. i get up, walk around. get dressed. walk around. play on twitter, text a few messages, look watch a little tv. walk around.

walk downstairs to head out the door when i realize i haven't taken my benefiber for the morning. which is a real bitch..but very necessary due to my new digestive problems i totally blame on these damn injections. so i reach in the fridge to get one of my water bottles. and there is sweat on it. which is weird, it's been in there two days. it should be very cold. my fridge is normally an arctic circle.

so i reach for another bottle (i have like 5 water bottles in my fridge, since i really don't drink anything besides water & juice). and it's warm. so i reach for the wine up top it's not chilled. i touch other stuff, nothing is cold. it's not hot, like the fridge has been off. it's just not cold. so i look at the settings as if i bumped them and turned them down. and they were set to 3 (where they always are). so something says open the freezer. something also said.."don't open the freezer". as i pulled the handle the first thing i see is brown ground beef laying in the package. "OH SHIT".

then i open and see popsicle juice dripping down the door. i see my cornish hens laying limp in the door of the freezer. i see like 4 more laying in a pool of salmonella on the top shelf. i see water from the frozen ice all in my freezer. ice cream boxes buckling over with sweat. my frozen dinners limp like they are full of jelly. i had bag, after bag, after bag of chicken swimming around in blood. chicken tenders, nuggets, drummets, fillets, wings, etc..about 3 more packages of ground beef all very brown and nasty looking. "OH SHIT"

i throw all the stuff away. mind you i haven't even open my fridge part back up. it took my 3 garbage bags. i throw away my eggs, bacon, lettuce, brats, butter, milk, etc..

i pull out the ice maker wash it out. wash all the shelves from top to bottom. once i get to the bottom and pull out the drawer. i see there is a pool of beige raw chicken soup all in the drawer. look under it, the popsicle juice, chicken juice, and whatever else rotten juices had made a baby of nasty juices in the bottom of my freezer. this shit can't be life...

now i'm waiting on the repair man. gotta go get my son, then wait so more. today was suppose to be a good day. it was going to be a good day. now i gotta deal with this bullshit. here's hoping that it's just a cooling fuse or some shit, cause if dude come telling me some crazy story i'm gonna have this shit sitting on the curb with the rotten food on thursday.

Monday, July 19, 2010

i'm not calling him a liar....

so i told yall "going to school" was something new we started this year with my son. and he's been going this summer too. so i take him to school a few weeks ago and theres a pony there. so like everyday i ask him, "did you have fun today"..his answer is usually no. sometimes he'll surprise me and say yes. i'll ask him, "did you learn something today?"..his answer is usually no. so this day his answers were, "yes..". so i said, did you get on the pony? and his answer was yes.

 now, i'm an active father and i know my son. i've taken my son to the zoo. i've taken him to carnivals..all kinda places with ponies. and he always gets scared of the ponies. like he don't want to get near them. and i admit when i was a child, i didn't like ponies either. in fact i didn't like any animals. probably why i refuse to touch any till this day. so i ask him, "you weren't scared of the pony?". and my son is not a talker like that, but his reply was "no i not scared of no pony". so i was like, "oh shit.." so i start telling everyone he got on the pony. so i'm talking to his mom. i tell her they had a pony at school and he got on it. she was surprised as hell too.

so yesterday she calls me. and she's like, "i thought you said he got on the pony". and i'm like he did. and she's like, "they sent a disc of the kids on the pony. he was NOT on the pony. in fact he wasn't anywhere near the pony. i see all the other kids on the pony... ". so i'm like did you ask him? and she's like yes. i said, did you get on the pony and he said yes. so i'm like..well maybe they didn't take a picture of him on the pony. and she's like.."he didn't get on no damn pony". i'm saying why she gotta call the boy a liar? so i'm like, "you think he's lying?" and she's like.."he ain't get on no damn pony..."so i'm like put him on the phone. and he gets on the phone and i ask him, "you rode the pony at school?" and he says yes. so who do i believe. him or his mama or the pictures? i have to admit i'd believe him over his mama anyday. but the pictures..do they lie? we'll find out today. because i know she's been waiting all weekend to take him to school and ask. so i expect a call at 9:01am telling me, "he didn't get on no damn pony" cause she like to be right.

*update from yesterday*: HE DID RIDE THAT DAMN PONY!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

look what I found...

it's been so long since I've cut my grass at my other house that I found a bunch of white kids living in my front yard. at first I thought they were hobbits, but then they asked for fish sticks..

not really, but kinda sorta happened..

it's gonna take me 3 years to cut this grass. *sweating like a slave* w/ white kids yelling. what is this 1827?..
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Friday, July 16, 2010

notes on a napkin..

a lot of shit going on today

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Thursday, July 15, 2010

fly on the wall..

i tried to post this earlier from my phone, failed!

i will attempt to remember all the fantastic shit i said before, potential fail!

i won't be doing a #twitterkills today, sue me fail!



have you ever wondered what people are saying about you when you're not around? not random gossipers, but people you honestly really care about. have you ever wondered what they really think of you. not what they tell you. but what they say when you leave the room. or to other people.

i've always had an issue about how people think of me. it started as a kid. i was the kid that bought friends. i used to bring candy and just give it away. i used to loan lunch money that turned into my treating folks to lunch the entire school year. i just wanted people to like me. since growing up, it has made me very guarded with friends. i always doubt someone's true sincerity when it comes to friendship. but i've let go of the "making everyone like me" shit. i mean i try to be nice to everyone. because there is still a residual feeling of "wanting people to think i'm nice" in me. i can't help it, i've always been a nice person. and i was brought up to believe that being a good person is what God wants. it's a much important virtue then the others people focus on. so to me, being a good for the purpose of just being good is what i strive for. I don't try to intentionally be a bad person to anyone.

so...my thing is when people don't think i'm a good person. or have issues with me, it really fucking bothers me. it's something i internally digest and try to work on. i'm not a person who ever takes criticism lightly. i'm saying if i think what you're saying is b.s. or it's something stupid, i'll dismiss you. but when it's people i love, trust, and respect, it bothers me. that being said.. i wonder what my girlfriend, friends,  & family really think of me. i wonder what are the good qualities. i wonder what are the bad qualities. i want to know what impression i leave with and on them. and also if they are negative about me, what is it saying about the relationship i share with them? it's one of those things, where is it me...or is it you? i wish i could be a fly on the wall sometimes. just listen to their honest opinion without fear of judgment. i hate hearing negative opinions, but i feel like it makes me a better person overall by knowing what my shortcomings & weaknesses are.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm wrinkle free...

got my iron...finally. thanks to all you wonderfully annoying folks from twitter. I really do appreciate you hitting me over & over & over & over. until I got it. it's so nice and promises to be "anti-drip" which is the main reason I had to get rid of my last one. now finally I can put my clothes on without a soggy spot here & there.

my life has just improved by two more months due to extreme satisfaction. I actually wanna iron right now. but I just got home from basketball & I need a shower (we won..btw). maybe I'll iron & starch my drawz when I get out...

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

sometimes....

sometimes, i get mad. i get very mad. and it clouds my judgment almost like drugs cloud your piss.

sometimes i get upset. i get very upset. and it boils my blood almost like a vampire with an sterile OCD.

i find these days my anger or (better put) my disappointment in things & people is easier set off than a car alarm in bankhead.

my life is like an equalizer (yes, a music reference). it's full of ups, downs, & levels. just as it's peaking...it gets dragged down. sometimes it levels out. sometimes it goes below "0".

what can i do? anger management would just make me angry. i'm serious. i feel like sitting around discussing with a stranger and listening to what they think my "real problem" would just make me wanna choke them like someone eating a peanut m&m at the same time they were coughing. i don't think that's the solution, nor do i think my anger is that bad.

i think i just need to scream. like just go to the edge of the world and just scream till my voice leaves for a few days. it's frustration. you ever have an idea of something. a vision of a perfect world..and in your mind you're so close to making that real. i find myself there all the time. like i can reach it. touch it. smell it. yet, it's just being yanked away like the football lucy always moves right as charlie brown is about to kick it.

why can't i kick the fucking ball?

is love a trap?...

is love a trap? does it sucker you in just to devour you and spit you back out halfed? i always have random thoughts. random things that just pop into my head from time to time.

is it that we are too blind to see the danger of love? or is it because love is worth the risk? i can honestly say, i am on a mission to love. and to be loved. i think it's one of the greatest gifts given by God. it's free. and when done right gives you one of the greatest feelings in the world.

so what about the not so good feelings? what about the heartbreaks, the arguments, the disagreements? what about the unhappy times. the lonely times. the i'll never feel this way again(s). do we ever figure out love? like even when we're in it. even when we are with someone who is making us happy. do we fully understand what love is? do we fully understand what we're doing?

have you ever just felt that love had it out for you. like it was one of those scams where the people send you a check for a million dollars and tell you to cash it and keep $800,000 of it. like it's just too good to be true & will end up bad. really bad...almost feels like you should just cut your loes up front. just go into it guarded. protect yourself. not give 100% for fear that you'll give too much & get too little.

what kind of love fiend are you? me, i'm a "all in" poker player with a bad poker face. i totally give up all my tells up front. i put all my chips in and i let it ride. of course we all know how these type of situations end. but i'm a risk taker & a believer. i'm betting on the person i'm with, because if i hit. if i get a winning hand (woman)...then the reward will be well worth it.

Friday, July 9, 2010

manfive friday #49


it's no secret, sex is always on my mind. sex is always on any guys mind. not to say i'm fueled by sex. just saying, like a lawnmower..there isn't just one ingredient, it's a few. i need one part food, one part sleep, one part love, & one part sex. if you give me that combination, i'll be a fine oiled working machine. expect no trouble out of me, except for a little maintenance here and there.

that being said, it's totally boggles my mind how even though you ladies enjoy, appreciate, and love sex from all the time - to some of the times (depending on what side of the spectrum you're on) why is it so hard for yall to understand M.H.S.S. (must have sex situations)?


this week's manfive friday #49 topic of the week is: 5 MUST HAVE SEX SITUATIONS. 

now you ladies who like to have sex all the time, please ignore this. i'm sure to you these situations are "givens". this is for all of you ladies who sit around and pretend that you have no idea a guy was expecting sex, wanted sex, or it was part of the silent agreement you made when you accepted an extraordinary gift. either way you slice it, your bread is more burnt than buttered.


#5: if you've have asked him to change his plans with his friends, family, job, etc...

if i tell you my grandma's 85th birthday is today. and you ask me to take you to your work function picnic instead..you better be cutting afterwards. i mean after 80..every birthday is special. and now you've made me miss out on my grandma's special day. you better make it worth it afterwords.  that goes for hanging out with my boys. if i tell you me and my boys are hanging out, getting drunk...just acting retarded. and we've been planning on going fishing this weekend. and you talk me into spending it with you instead. don't have me sitting on the couch cuddling thinking about how much more fun i'd be having with them. same goes for work. if you have me call out of work. have me come by to fix something for you. and after i'm done you looking like, "thanks, you can go back to work..." that will be the LAST time i do that shit.

the point of changing your plans for you girl is that it's gonna be worth it. yes, spending time with you is great. yes i'd rather be with you overall than hanging with my boys doing stupid fucking cool awesome shit. yes, sometimes i can miss work to come save you from a bug or change a light bulb. but come on...if i tell you come hang out with me instead of going out with your girls to see your favorite athlete that's gonna be half dressed and waiting to talk to you in VIP..i gotta be offering something better. so me saying come chill with me & watch tv, sounds so less appealing then, come hang with me i'm gonna take you shopping till my card gets declined. that's what sex is like to us. if you mention sex as part of the deal...we'll leave granny with her birthday hat on and 73 of those candles still lit.


#4: his birthday, holidays, etc..

my birthday. christmas. easter. thanksgiving. new years eve. veterans day. martin luther king day. if there is a day off from school/work/life you should be walking around naked just waiting for me to fall on you. the biggest days of the year to deny me sex is valentine's day & my birthday. it is a crime. if you don't at least give me some mouth to lap loving we shouldn't even be together. everyone knows the only gift men want/expect for valentine's day is sex. that is no secret. and to deny me for my birthday....*animal cracker crocodile tears* you ought to be ashamed of yourself. there should be a small jail in hell for chicks who don't twerk a little something on holidays.

#3: vacations...

ok. now i'm not talking about a trip to local holiday inn. or the swiss mirage motel. i'm talking about an actual vacation. the only way you aren't required to have sex on vacation is if you paid for the vacation. if you only pay half you only are allowed to deny sex for half of the trip. if i'm paying for airplane tickets, hotel stays for days, activities while we there. then you better be getting naked when we get to that room. you also must block out an entire day for us to just have sex. so...whatever you wanna do, block out a day for sex. if we get there on monday. we can sight-see till thursday. on friday we hanging the "do not disturb" on the door. and on saturday we can maybe come up for some air.

men do not pay for vacations to sight-see with women. i mean we like to experience a city. we like to get out and go. but when we're with our woman..we are just going to have sex in a different environment. do not fuck up the vacation for us with your.."we gotta go see this, baby...we only got 2 more days here.." sight-seeing makes me itch unless i'm getting some sex. if you wanna stop my junkie itching...scratch it for me baby.

#2: after accepting an extravagant gift (wedding ring, car, house...etc)

ok, i'm not talking about dudes who just trick off money & gifts for sex. i'm saying if you're my woman. and we're together and shit. and i have invested a big chuck of change on a gift. i want more than just a thank you. i want more than just a, "it's so beautiful". if you jump in the car...we better be driving somewhere to have sex in that car. once i pop the question. you do your crying, and start trying to call everyone you know. you better practice talking on the phone while biting on a pillow...i'm just saying. i know yall saw "sex in the city". yall want a dude to say, "i'll build you a closet, i got this..". you better know what to say after that, "just take off your pants, i got this..".. 

the one thing groupies realize that your girlfriend never realizes...you get further returning a favor for a favor. sure i love you, i'm doing this because of that. i'm not buying it to buy your loving. but i'm saying, if we're in love. and i'm throwing affection your way in the form of gifts. you should be throwing a little something my way. it's only right. thank me with your body. i don't mind you being a regifter.


#1: if yall have been on 30 consecutive dates & you're not a virgin..

the only ppl who get a pass on this are virgins. either a first time one or a "dead ass serious" re-virgin. you have to tell me up front you aren't into sex. you have to tell me up front we waiting on "marriage" if you don't disclose that and we've been dating for a month. it's time for you to pay the piper. it is not CHEAP to date. when it comes to going out i don't care where you wanna go. i don't care what you want to order. i just wanna make you happy, show you good time, court you.

dating is like banking sex points. it's not about "i take you to dinner, now you gotta give it up". it's about investing. i don't expect it the first night (it would be nice). i don't expect it the second night (it would be nice). i don't expect it the third, forth, fifth..(they all would be nice tho..). i realize in order to bank at the international house of your panties i have to pre-pay that debit card. and from then on in order to make transactions i'm gonna have to make deposits in the dating bank. i get you. i understand that. but after a month of depositing into that account...it's time for a withdrawal.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

love mishaps



i've mentioned before i'm a romantic at heart. and being a romantic, i tried to think of a gift to buy my girlfriend that would scream..."i'm thinking about you". it wasn't about price, it was about thought. what could i buy...that would show her that i was always thinking of her? what can i get that she can have and think of me?

so i went down to this store called, "things to remember". and saw this heart compact. so i thought long & hard about what i wanted it to say. i got her name engraved on the front. and wanted to put a message on the other side. the first thing that popped in my head..

at first..."if you look in my heart, this is what you'll see".

that was cool. but i wasn't sure if that was too much. after all, she always implies i'm moving too fast. and i'm too serious. so i backed off that idea.

then i came up with.."your only imperfection is, you without me...". i thought to myself maybe she wouldn't understand what i was trying to say. so the lady at the store asked me if i wanted some help...so we came up with.."you're always in my heart" (or something similar..lol it's been a while). short, sweet, & to the point. so i go out and find this beautiful heart box. red, heavy, carved box. and i put the compact in there. she sees it and kisses me and thanks me for it.

but months go by and i never see it again, nor hear mention of it. so one day we're having a conversation about, "your & you're". and she's telling me, "i know you don't know the difference in the words..". and i ask her why she said that, she informs me her compact says...

"YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART"

i inform her the stupid girl at the store must have spelled it wrong when she was engraving it. because i know i double checked it a million times before i decided to go with that message. so that's why she never has it? or never said anything else about it? *smh*...i've wanted to for a while go and get another one done corrected. but i thought about it. if she was gangsta she would rock that shit and be like, "so my boyfriend might not be able to conjugate verbs...but i love his retarded sped ass anyway". so i refuse to get another one, at least until i see her show some pride in that one.

*ignorantly strolls away*

#twitterkills thursday 34

this week's #twitterkills thursday 34 topic of the week: nasty ass twitter names..

i'm sure i don't have to mention any particular. we've all seen them. and they are all cute for the moment. and you'll add them. and you'll tweet them. the one day you're looking at your timeline and see...


@harddickinyoupussy: just getting out of church, the preacher was PREACHIN'

now tell me that doesn't just make you scooby doo it to unfollow. it's like, no those words don't offend me. i will gladly say them but not everytime i tweet something. now you do get points for originality. i mean "@eatdatasslikecandy" is great. but why you get mad when a dude adds you and ask you to "eat-dat-ass-like-candy"? i'm saying advertising is advertising. don't get mad and be twitter fighting and telling him you're not gay. cause um according to your twitter name, eh..you kinda are.  if your name is "@bigtitties4youboo", and a dude comes at you with sex shit all the time. don't tweet..

@bigtitties4youboo: why guys always @replying me about sex, get the fuck outta here with that, you will be UNFOLLOWED.

um, excuse me. they followed you cause your name was "bigtitties4youboo". they thought you were giving them your titties and now yo wanna front, change your twitter picture to you reading a book. yanno what the people want. if you aren't gonna give it to them. get off twitter hoe...lol. and no i'm not saying you just gotta talk about sex all the time. i'm just saying, don't act like people are out of line. or people are stepping to you wrong. accept the stereotype like you did the praise for being perverted in the first place. not saying anything is bad about it. just saying. if my mom was looking at my phone while i was tweeting. she wouldn't be alarmed by, "@gorgeousgeek" but if she saw "@pussypussypussyletsallgetwasted" she'd be like, "um..so this is what twitter is?".

*pouring two glasses* two shots you. for being original and giving some perv a woody when he loads up his tweetdeck. pow.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

money on the ground

so i get up, not really in the best of moods. look outside my door & see green paper scattered across my lawn. after my usual cursing of my trifling neighbors..I focus in (my eyes aren't what they used to be) and notice its money...

so I turn off my alarm..go outside & pick it up. it wasn't a lot of money...but it just feels lucky. what should I do with it?

buy lunch, lotto tickets, pediasure, candy, etc... help me out.

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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

blogamony


excuse the sloppiness of this post, it's being done through a new "blogger" client on my phone. i just wanted to address the request for blogamony i received..

denied....

lol. just playing. I'm gonna honor this request, later on today..so check back. as for the missed manfive...arrgh, it's coming!
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Thursday, July 1, 2010

#twitterkills thursday 33

ok..so you're not on twitter. but you're reading my tweets & @replying me in my text messages.

this week's #twitterkills thursday topic is dedicated to the people who think that: @replying is cool outside of twitter.

yes, i've been accused of having a tweetversation. meaning, going back and forth with someone about something that we could have moved to text, gchat, aim, email, DM, or whatever. and that's cool. if things are getting lengthy. if things are private or personal, ok. but don't just be @replying me in my text. if i tweet...

@studiogenius i'm so hungry..need some nourishment ASAP, #noanorexic


and i get a text message, one second later "ha ha @ #noanorexic" and that's it. you didn't go into anything else. you didn't offer to get/bring/buy me some food. why the hell you couldn't have just @replied me back on twitter? if you're on tweet hiatus, yet you are still reading my tweets all day...you are NOT on hiatus. your ass just ain't tweeting yourself. it's still considered "being on twitter". if you get on twitter and see i said something but instead take it to my text, or assault me on gchat about it...i'm just gonna hashtag you to death.

future gchat session:

you: stinging headache huh?
me: #huh?
you: you said on twitter you had a stinging headache
me: #oh #yea #it's #hurting #so #bad
you: why are you typing all those hashtags?
me: #obviously #we #are #bringing #twitter #elements #into #gchat #so #i #decided #to #hashtag #kill #you

bout to go tweet #killyourself, please follow instructions. . . pow