Thursday, April 30, 2009

don't drink the water.....

how many guys have perfected the art of:

waking up, eyes closed shut, maneuvering to the bathroom to take that morning piss? i know i've perfected it so well that i could skip the waking up part and just do it in my sleep. this morning was no different, except for the fact that i knew my son had slept in the bed with me. so after i finished, i opened an eye to see if he made a mess last night, cause he's still working on the aim -to -sleep ratio.

the water was a little brownish. so of course i reached on the side of the toilet and put some toilet bowl cleaner in there and go wash my hands. then i brush my teeth. then i wash my face. i stretch and head downstairs to get some cheerios before my son wakes up. i only have like 4 official bowls, 2 kid bowls & a bunch of tupperware bowls. this is what happens when you are with someone who cooks...then they decide that when they leave all the dishes belong to them. so when you go out to get some bowls as a single guy all you buy is what is necessary (4 bowl set..). once i realize that all the bowls are in the dishwasher, i go to look for some tupperware. get a bowl, go to rinse it out, & as the water is filling the bowl i'm noticing a brown tint.

i pour it out, run some more water...still a brown tint. wtf? was my toilet trying to tell me something this morning? cause as disgusted as i was about this the only thing that rushed back into my mind was..."i washed my hands. i brushed my teeth. i washed my face." all in this disgusting ass water.

i'm saying...w/things like the swine flu going around, why would the water department let this shit happen? if i were a hypochondriac i'd swear: my skin was about to burn off. my teeth and tongue about to fall out. and my hands were covered in flesh eating bacteria. cause lets be honest even though we all know it's not true..brown water makes you think of "dookie water".

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

this is why i'm hot....

this is why i'm hot....

i'm not into blogging for the conventional reasons. i don't need followers, a fan base, or stalkers. i don't thrive on people leaving comments, or telling me that i'm hot. i don't need applause, or to plaster my credits across the page.

that's the reason for you're blog, huh? <--- this is why you're not...

the purpose of this blog is simple. sometimes i have a little extra to say. things that i don't reveal on myspace. things that are too long to post on twitter. and things that aren't all that private that i have to lock it away on my friend's only journal. can all be placed here.

things to know about me:

i type lowercase on purpose. the "i" yes, i do that on purpose. if that annoys you, "i" x ∞ =your ass leaving my blog asap. sometimes my grammar might be a little sluggish (as in i type like i'm on the small bus), but is this a english lit assignment? know i've been to college & graduated (cause a lot of yall don't...but say it like you did) so my intelligence has been validated w/ a degree, so all you blogteachers ---fail me.

i'm a private guy. the things i reveal are the things i reveal. i say i work in music. that's it. as i stated before i have enough accolades to be content w/o having to sell myself for praise. i'm not a stan, fan, groupie, stalker, etc...of anyone. if you are, get a mirror, love yourself & stop it!

another vital thing to remember is, i'm right about 95.3% of the time. so unless you're having a good day (4.7%) , avoid confrontation. i welcome a healthy discussion, a fact driven argument, but i detest irrelevant banter (unless my own).

general direction of topics:

"sexwomusonymo" (mixture of sex, women, music, money w/ a dash of elmo cause i got a 3 y/o).

  • i talk about sex.
    what guy doesn't? i love it, i need, i want it....mmmm sex
  • i talk about women.
not the same as sex. moreso relationship manners, intolerance of certain behaviors, current lovers & ex's!

  • i talk about music but not from a spectator standpoint.
so if you want to gossip about why solange wears green lipstick...i'm a guy & i don't care. real talk.

  • i talk about money.
that could be the economy down to the $73 damn dollars the post office stole from me....grrr

  • i talk about elmo.
i have a 3 y/o that is my world, so just like other annoying parents...i can't stop talking about how Amazing, he is!

these happen to be my most common topics for discussion, but i'm sure as new one's are generated i'll let you know.

that's it. for now. i think. ok......