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Thursday, September 30, 2010
headed to miami. i have set up auto blogging set for midnight every night, if for some odd reason they don't take...*lol sad face*. i'll try to do bullshit phone blogs since oct challenge starts tonight @ midnight. so check me, check me out. i also have staggered blogs set.
you ever been on twitter. and got like 12 tweets in a row from the same person. who was just typing and pushing enter and expected you to piece together their tweets to read a whole paragraph of their thoughts? i have. in fact i have a few people who are blogging on twitter.
#twitterkills thursday 42 topic of the week: it's twitter not a blog...
if you wanna to rant and rave longer than 140 characters get a blog. and the crazy shit is most of those folks have a blog. so why aren't they on that? yes you can have a conversation back and forth. if you make a statement. and someone replies. it's your twitter do what you like. but don't set out to type up a blog post on your twitter. still not convinced? check this out...
@bloggingontwitter: i think if you're gonna walk across the street when my light is green you should at least wait until no cars are coming.today this man walk
@JuiceBoxBunny: what's up ATL, did you win your football game?
@studiogenius: yea..but last night this dude tackled my ass back to third grade
@bloggingontwitter: ed in front of my car, and i almost hit him. the light was green..not red, not yellow but
@NVFreckles: if you tweet and you know, slap your keys...notice i'm not slapping my keys? #got2dobetter
@goldenmind_: the way to a successful relationship is: i talk, you listen.
@bloggingontwitter: green. the light was GREEN. so why the hell did he walk in front of me. i don't understand that. do you understand that? i mea
@KrazyLikeWOW: so i decided using red at my wedding is a no-go. my friend told me that incites the devil to pop out your wedding cake
@Melleaux: so...this parent that was calling me at 2am is not standing in my driveway. #911
@studiogenius: so i was at the strip club, and this dude bust out and starts throwing dimes
@bloggingontwitter: n i could have hit them. and worse yet, i could have killed them. what do you think they have crosswalk lights for. could you imagine hitting someone crossing
@bloggingontwitter: the street? that would be awful. not only would that mess up your car but it would totally ruin your day. i could have
@LuvlyMsKrissy: i've just bought like 4 pair of new shoes for my daughter. someone needs to walking 101 ASAP.
@bloggingontwitter: killed someone. you know how you see that on tv and in the movies. this must be how they feel...
@studiogenius: i wish @bloggingontwitter: would get on their blog and shut the fuck up on my twitter..#imsaying
@goldenmind_: LOL RT @studiogenius: i wish @bloggingontwitter: would get on their blog and shut the fuck up on my twitter..#imsaying
@JuiceBoxBunny: damn ATL, is it that serious?
yall feel me? please yall let's take the commentary to blog. and limit our angered fueled tweets to reckless stupid statements. like..."i hate when i don't get cheese on my cheeseburger". or "i shaved my eyebrows off, now i look like Powder with a tan". you'll get more "shit..i hate when that happens.." than you will with a whole story that by the time you get to the point no one else will care about it. reach over...*types* P O W (a message should start playing that in 20 seconds you & your computer will explode)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
it's funny, when we're young..everyone is our friend. we talk to, play with, get along with everyone. then there comes that magical time where we get that "best friend". that one person who is like a sibling, but we don't fight with them. that one person who we love like we're related to them. that one person who will bail you out of jail at 3:32am or even be in jail with you because they are down for whatever. we all have people in our life that are irreplaceable. if not, we wish we did. my question this week is.....
Q. what are your friend requirements?
what do you look for in a friend. what separates your friends from associates? i will of course follow up with a my answer in another post.
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Friday, September 24, 2010
manfive friday #56 topic of the week: 5 reasons a man might not support your dreams/ambitions.
the reality is, women hold men down all the time. a lot of times without reason. all these women talking about, "no snitching" or "i'll take a bid" for my dude are stupid. women confuse loyalty for stupidity sometimes. a man should never expect, ask, or let you take the fall for him. that's just part of being a stand up guy. no matter what the situation, he should handle it like a man and take responsibility for his own actions. don't ever let a guy convince you that his unjust living can be made better by you picking up the slack of his misgivings. don't be the "bonnie" to his "clyde". be the "mrs" to his "mr". you have to respect yourself enough to understand that supporting someone else is positive reinforcement , not negative. if what you're supporting is negative, then honestly you aren't supporting shit. but let me end this rant...and tell yall 5 reasons your man might not have your back...
#5: you aren't being realistic..
almost like the guy who is 40 years old and still wants to be a rapper. or the guy who is trying to get "in the league" and is approaching his 34th birthday. or the entrepreneur that you ran into 4 years ago, been in a relationship with for 3 years, and have never known him to have a real job. it's not that you are webmaster at www.dreamkiller.com. you just can't see any future in that dream. so you dismiss it. well guess what ladies, sometimes you're on that "head in the sky" shit too. you're 5'3, 290 lbs talking about you're gonna be a supermodel. or you mix vaseline with lavender oil and sell it out your car, and think you're gonna be the next bronner bros. or a more realistically, you have hopes of taking over a fortune five hundred company, but you don't put in the effort or work to do it. sometimes, not supporting you...is the best support. now wait..don't get me wrong. if a person believes in themselves and their dream, don't ruin it for them. let people hold on to their foolish hopes, as long as they are still productive. it's the people who sit on the couch, pouting, complaining about shit not happening for them while life passes them by, bills pile up, or you pick up the slack..that you have to have the intervention with. before you complain he's not supporting you, and your hoodrat friends co-sign. make sure what you're trying to get him to support you in makes sense. run it by a friend that "has it together" and just watch her facial expression. cause all of you hoodrats have that one friend who is on her shit. because every chick who is "on her shit" associates with at least one hoodrat friend to keep her grounded. run in by her. watch how she looks like, "oh uh uh" when you say it. or she says, "girl you a mess" after you tell her what you've been working so hard on. to normal people, "girl you a mess" typically means.."girl get your shit together....you are a MESS". to hoodrats "girl you a mess" means, "you go girl...". don't be a hoodrat. lol..
#4: he's a jerk..."i know"..he's a jerk..."i know"..he's a jerk..."i know" *does his skinny jean dougie*
sometimes guys are just jerks. and what is important to you, isn't important to them. he's in all around jerk. yanno the guy you tell, "i think i'm pregnant..and he's like, "what you gonna do about that?" or "you need some money?". the guy you tell someone in your family just died, and he's like, "damn, that's sad...well i gotta meet Jmack at the studio cause we been grinding". needless to say it's a guy who just doesn't care about you. so if you tell him your dreams. you tell him things that you want to accomplish, or that are important to you. why do you think he'd care about that? i find women try to make men better than they are. if you're dealing with a no good dude, and you know that. why do you expect him to support you? if he doesn't support you in anything else. why are you trying to squeeze lemonade out of a apple? don't expect much from someone who never gives you much.
#3: he doesn't know how...he can't handle the weight...
it's two ways this can go...
strangely enough. or should i say, sadly enough. there are men who just don't know how to support women. they have never had that in their life. men look to women for support all the time. that is a basic quality we need for you. from our mothers, to her sisters, to our friends, to the mother of her children..we look to you to hold us up. to take care of us & our children. a lot of times men don't see the part that they should be playing in it. or they grew up with no man helping their mom. and they think that "women..don't need no man.." or "she don't need me to help her". it sounds crazy. but i know a dude who thinks that just being in the household with his wife & child negates the fact that he should do anything else for them. his logic..."at least i'm there..my dad wasn't there, my mom didn't have a man marry her". this is the kinda guy who doesn't realize what supporting a woman/family is. it's just not innately in him. to him..his presence is support.
imagine a 120 pound man. if you throw 90 pounds at him, maybe he can catch it and run with it. if you throw 120 pounds, maybe he can catch it and hold it. but if you throw 300 pounds at him, it's going to crush him. if you throw a man with 120 pounds of ambition a 300 pound dream..you're going to crush him. a mailman can make you a good life, but he can't give you what bill gates can. a man can be supportive to his limit. a lot of times women hand a guy too much weight and he can't handle it. you could work your way through school, get a good job, and still struggle because he's not on that level. it's not that he's not supportive of what you're trying to do. he just doesn't have enough resources to support you in the way you need to accomplish what you're trying to do. this is the point where you make the decision. get your priorities straight. is being with him worth sacrificing your dreams? it goes back to the "realistic" example. you might want a life of gucci, prada, fendi...but in the long run will that make you happier than the man you're with? because once you make that decision you can't be bitter or regret it.
#2: he's jealous...
if you are on the way to making your dreams happen. if you are climbing up the ladder of success. if you are accomplishing things on your own, that you never thought were possible. and he's sitting there with a yuck face. it's because he's jealous. if he's knocking what you're doing. "hating" on you. it's because his life isn't going the way he wanted it to. he may be that dude grinding trying to find success anyway possible and getting no where. sometimes it's intimidating to have a woman who is accomplished. a woman who is smart or highly educated. if you are leaving him behind, he's not going to support you and what you're doing. not that it's your fault. sometimes you do have guys who are just lazy. and they aren't doing anything for themselves. but there are times a guy is trying. he is working towards doing better. but it's just not working for him, at the moment. it puts you in a difficult situation when you're doing good and he's not. and most men are able to deal with that. you have to just swallow a man pill..and be happy for your woman. yes, he may get a little envious or feel like less of a man because he's not able to help you or succeed at what he's trying to do. but then again there are some dudes..that are just bitches. some dudes who hate on their friends success..so why do you think you're exempt? if you're with a guy who's like..
"why you going to school anyway...you just gonna stay home & take care of the kids"
"don't know why you're wasting your time, working all those hours. they aren't ever gonna promote you"
"school/work is getting too hard...you should quit"
if you're with a guy who is negatively (un)supporting your dreams...run. because he's going to make it harder for you to succeed. he doesn't want you to. he wants to rob you of your ambition/dreams.
#1: you don't have his back...
it's a two way street ladies. in order to get, you have to give. and like i mentioned before..loyalty is very important to men. support from our woman, is very important. if you shit on everything he does, you can't expect him to back you 100%. everyone needs some support. everyone needs a push. sometimes that guy who just "can't get it right", just needs that one person to push him to "get it right". sometimes that guy who is trying to be in the nba...needs someone telling him "that's great...i want that too, but in the meanwhile let's work on doing this together". don't have a guys back in the stupid shit alone. don't go fight his battles. take his charges. support his foolish recklessness. support a guy who wants to go to school. support a guy who is trying to get a better job. support a guy who tells you, "i want to get to the point where i can take care of us. and provide these things for you". those are the kind of guys you support. and you'll find that when you support men who are actually being men...that it all comes together.
another thing, to all you independent ladies. don't let your independence overshadow you supporting him. sometimes you have to ask yourself, are your dreams..getting in the way of someone else's. meaning. he wants a big house, to live comfortably, raise children....and he's looking for you to help and you're off chasing a dream, taking risk, and thinking just about yourself. there comes a time for all of that. imagine what kind of life you could have with a man who is actively trying to get things and make things happen for you and him. again priorities ladies. i see it too much, women are convinced everything is on them these days. that they have to be able to do this, that, and everything by themselves. let me break it down for you...
let us help you. let us support you. let us have your back.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
i've been handed another blog-a-day challenge for the month of October. i dunno if i'm ready for that so soon..i mean didn't i just do it a few months ago?
do i have 31 days of things to write about again? i dunno. what do yall think? should i take it? is anyone down to do it with me this time? *looking at sunshinestar110*
i've been handed another blog-a-day challenge for the month of October. i dunno if i'm ready for that so soon..i mean didn't i just do it a few months ago?
do i have 31 days of things to write about again? i dunno. what do yall think? should i take it? is anyone down to do it with me this time? *looking at sunshinestar110*
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
i'd create a woman who only speaks when spoken to. one that cooks & cleans. has a body out of this world and has sex all day.
welp, that was easy! lol
i'm just kidding (or am i?) i guess i'll start with the obvious. looks. i'm not really picky. i'm more of an equal opportunity type of guy. i think the only thing physical i'm a sucker for is a woman with a pretty face. to me a face is something you can look at 60 years later and still see that same person you fell in love with. pretty big brown eyes. just do something for me. i dunno what it is. but they do. i can just stare in a woman's eyes forever. pretty smile. pretty lips. just all face everything.
body wise..she just has to look good in her body. as long as her body looks good on her, it'll look good on me. height/weight doesn't matter. she doesn't have to be a size zero, 2, 8, 14, 18, etc...it doesn't matter to me. she doesn't have to have a video hoe's body. as long as she has something to grab on. i want to grab on something. not gonna lie she can even have a "either or" body too. either a lot of ass & little breast or a lot of breast and a little ass. to have a both..is like having dessert twice in the same meal. it just would spoil me crazy lol.
now if i'm going to throw personality in the mix. she has to be down to earth. i'm not a opposites attract type guy. yes, i attract opposites all the time. but we clash like hell. i don't like clashing. that doesn't bring excitement for me, at all. i'm a homebody, so i like someone who just enjoys my company. someone that can be around me and happy. we can make our own fun. self sufficient. i want a woman that i can be stranded on an deserted island with and we never run out of things to do or talk about. i want a woman who listens, but also has her own opinions. i love to debate, and love a woman who doesn't back down. she has to be able to hold her own with me. i respect someone who respects my views and beliefs. i feel we should be equally yoked. have things in common, from background, upbringing, education, child rearing, religion etc...now i don't expect to find a woman who grew up with the huxtables a parents, lutheran, studied engineering, etc..it doesn't have to be exact at all. we just need to connect on a similar level. she has to want the same things i do or at least be able to compromise. someone who'll get on the "we" train instead of staying on that one way "me" train. i also like a secure woman. meaning, she knows who she is, what she wants, and that she's beautiful. i find when a woman is secure in these areas..everything is less about her and more about what we can do together. she isn't worried about other women. she isn't carrying baggage. she can take compliments. she doesn't feel inferior or superior to me. we're equal.
what she gotta do to turn me on? just be a woman. i think there isn't anything sexier than a woman. although, i'm not a fan of prissy chicks. i want a woman who's not afraid to break a nail or get her hands dirty. work out in the yard with me. one who'll play two on two basketball against my parents with me. one who's down for whatever. she has to like things i like, not everything but be open to things. be my spades partner. watch a football, basketball, baseball game with me. spend hours losing to me at scrabble. i'm not attracted to "dumb chicks". intellect turns me on. i enjoy a woman who can stimulate me completely. one i can teach. one that i can learn from. one that introduces me to new things and is open to me doing the same.
i'm one of those "freak in the bedroom"/"lady in the street" type dudes. i want my woman to carry herself like a classy chick. all the getting slushed, being out in the clubs, hanging with wild ass chicks..you can miss me with that. but when we're home i want her naked. all the time. as little clothing as possible. cause i'm a very visual person. i think a chick looks cute in my t-shirt and sweats. but i think she looks sexy in her t-shirt and her panties..i opt for sexy over cute. i do like attention, but only require a lot if i'm not getting enough affection. not saying a woman has to be overly into me. just one who understands i need to be wanted, and she should show me that. she should be very affectionate. i love affection. i need a woman who loves being around me. loves flirting with me. whisper in my ear. sing in my ear. bite my ear. i'm definitely a touch me/tease me kinda guy. just a woman who makes you feel desired. makes you feel like a man.
a woman who can cook or will learn. a loving nurturing person. someone who is good with children. loves them, wants them, will help me raise my son. be very family oriented. believe in God. pray with me. support me. she has to think i'm funny. i believe when a chick stops thinking you're funny..the end is near. she would know how to express herself. not be afraid to tell me she loves me. not be afraid to let others know she loves me. pda is optional, but nice. she'd love sex (with me only). be faithful. she'd accept me for who i am, and not try to change me.
that's not too outlandish is it?
Q. if you could build the perfect man/woman what would they consist of or look like? how would they act or treat you. what would they be like? what would they do or not do?
think about it..don't rush and just answer physical things. don't ignore physical and just answer personality traits. remember this is for fun. so you don't have to wreck your brain. don't think too hard. you aren't creating the person for real & won't be stuck with them. so you don't have to be exact. but you can be as detailed as you want. if you like them tatted up, scarred up, big moles by their mouth. if you want someone with kids or no kids. if you want them to share a similar background history. whatever.
think of it as creating a sim (i know yall have either played or heard about the Sims). you pick the personality. you pick the features. you pick their life. i will describe my perfect woman in a blog following. Again, the anonymous feature is activated so all yall scared to share with the class can opt for that.
Friday, September 17, 2010
this weeks manfive friday topic of the week: the 5 gentlemanly things you should expect from every man.
i did a blog last year entitled "jack ain't no gentleman", and it was simply the reasons why men aren't "gentleman like" anymore. i was out the other day and witnessed very ungentleman like acts in progress and decided to give you ladies a "must" list. even if you got a barbarian as a boyfriend. there are at least 5 gentlemanly acts every man should have ingrained into their skulls..and you women should enforce it. the least 5 ways your man should be a gentleman....
#5: pull the car around for you
maybe it's just a pet peeve of mine. but i hate to see a woman walking a mile & a half to the car in heels. if your dude is too cheap to park by the place, if parking is limited, if it's raining..etc...let his ass go get the car. now, maybe you want to take a walk together, fine. maybe it was your decision to park that far out, fine. but if yall are out and you're all dressed up. he can go get the car and pick you up. if it's raining, he should run out the car, pull it around, and get you an umbrella and wait till you get inside the car. the "every man for himself" is just that. "every man....for himself." don't let a dude have your ass looking like walking with your heels in your hand & glass in your feet. don't let a dude have you out in your nice clothes, soaking wet. hair all frizzy, face all moist, makeup all joker like. maybe this isn't necessary for most of you. but for you ladies who have had to make that trek. you ladies who have had to go back home because your night was ruined by rain. you ladies who were on your period and had to walk 100 feet to the car. tell the truth...how much would it have meant if your dude pulled that car up for you? make him do that shit. i saw a chick with a cast on her foot, hopping down the street behind this guy. now..why they were even out like that, is none of my business. but once she caught up to him she should have given him nutkick with that cast. cause that's just retarded.
#4: give up his seat...
now unless the dude is in a wheelchair..he should get his ass up for you. i mean he should get up for any woman, but to some that's asking a bit too much. i know a guy who thinks as long as he gives it up his seat to a chick he likes, he's cool. he'll sit his punk ass down while an older lady stands up right next to him. this behavior..gets you the "punk ass dude" badge. he can apply it to his girl scout slash...cause he acting like a bitch. if your guy lets you stand. whether you have on heels, flip flips, sneakers..whatever. you should let his ass wear your skirt. cause he's a punk. do not let a dude do that to you. not only does that work on your legs..it looks bad as hell. every time i see a guy walk in and sit down and his chick is standing up...i get up out my seat and give it to her. and look at him like, "yes, next i'm gonna give her some dic....." . cause she should be ashamed of himself. and she should be embarrassed that another man is willing to give her some simple shit her current dude isn't. #truestory...i was at my cousin's wedding last month and all the seats were taken when we got there (cause we were late as hell..and it was an outside wedding that got rained on, so it was moved inside). i watched this couple come in and dude grabbed a seat and told his chick.."the lady said she's bringing more seats". she stood up next to him for about 10 minutes..before i went outside and got a seat for her. i give the chick the seat..and dude's like, "thanks man...". there was a small crater in hell created for him at that moment. filled with prisonesqe dudes who like to make love to men who act like bitches.
#3: carry your bags..
whether they are grocery bags, luggage, or even your shopping conquest. the only bag a man is excused from carrying is your purse. i can promise you ladies a man has always had to get somebody's bag. my mom would just pull up in the driveway and leave the doors unlocked. she would walk in and be like, i went to the store. yes, " . " she wouldn't say anything else. "i went to the store...", was codeword for: "there are bags in the car, go get them". there was no discussion. she didn't care if i was watching tv, playing video games, playing with my friends, taking a shower..whatever. she would find me. and tell me "i went to the store . ". if we went somewhere, me and my dad would load her 12 bags to our 1 in the car. carry them upstairs. that's just how it was. so the first time i got with a chick who got out my car and grabbed her own bag i had a twilight zone moment. it was like..."wtf....are you doing?" and i ran over and grabbed her bag. now your dude might have had a simliar moment. but sometimes the force isn't strong in them. and they think.."wow she's a keeper....she gets her own bag". if you're with that kinda dude. that's your fault for letting him think that's okay. not saying you just assume he knows to get it, like my mom did. my mom is my mom. i was about 7 or 8 before she started requiring me to do that shit. so i was trained by that time. all you have to do is say, "can you get my bag babe?"...just ask. if he looks at you crazy. if he acts as if a bag you carried to see him is too heavy or too much for him..you should make better choices in dudes you go and see. maybe he doesn't reach for your shopping bags. maybe he lets you tote in a bag or two when you come back from the grocery store. but any man who sees you holding anything..and doesn't reach to help you is showing you that he has little to no concern for you. that "anything" includes...bags, boxes, objects like food trays, even babies. yes babies. you ever seen a woman holding a grown ass sleeping child for like 30 minutes with a grown ass man standing next to her. yes, i realize sometimes kids have "mommyitis". and only want mommy. but after the child is sleep..dude, grab the kid. i watched a dude watch his lady struggle with a big box. and he ran and opened the door for her. they were moving the shit together. and all he did was open the door for her. now i understand, yes, women should help. women can grab a few items too. but his ass had a plant and a lamp in his hand. and she had a big ass box. with his hands filled with both he was still able to open the door for her without putting either down. crazy...
#2: open doors...
the only reason a dude should walk in front of you is to protect you (if yall hear/see some weird shit..) and to open the door for you. you ladies should just go and stand by car doors, establishment doors, your house door like it's the automatic door at the grocery store. if he's standing behind you..you should just act like it's broke. if he doesn't get that he should be opening it..then you open it and say, "there you go my lady..". i'm saying, unless there is something out to get yall. unless yall are running away from a monster, the police, or zombies...he can take that extra time to walk around and let you in. see as boys & teens...we used to do it all the time. and yall think it's because we were just trying to impress you back there. yea..that and it gave us a chance to look at your ass. as grown men, we've encountered women who'll grab their own door. women who don't wait for you open the door. women who are "independently" messing up their chances of having a man be a gentleman because they are so used to doing everything themselves to the point where they don't expect a man to do those things. if you expect it, they will do it. if you don't...then he won't. same dude that you break up with and see opening the doors for the next chick....would have done it for you if you would have just expected it. remember...automatic doors.
have no idea how you ladies lost at this game. oh..yea it was that hypothetical.."i'll pay for dinner". or the want to go out when you were with that broke dude to the point you offered to pay for everything. or when you told him "you'll give him gas money..". how many times do i have to tell you ladies......"close your purses". men know women have money. men know yall go out with us..and have enough to pay for your meal, get home, etc. we know that shit. do not let him get to the point where he thinks it's alright to let you pay, just cause you have it. i'm not saying, you can treat your dude. you just can't make that shit a habit. a treat is sometimes. paying all the time, is a habit..not a treat.
and i know yall gonna hit me with the, "well my guy doesn't have much money" bull shit. if he don't have no money yall invest in doing free shit. stop being high maintenance. if you picked him, he makes you happy in other ways..stop acting like yall have to do all the shit that requires him having money then. don't put yourself in a situation where you think if you want to have fun or a night out it requires you paying. if you want to see him it requires you going to pick him up or dropping gas money on his lap. a guy who really wants to see you will go steal copper out of houses, pawn it, and get his ass on a bus to come see you. don't fall victim to the, "i don't have no money for gas". because some kinda odd way he always has enough gas to make it to your house to get the money, correct? i know yall think i'm being too hard on all those dudes who "just ain't got it". but i was raised by parents who taught me a gentleman is a gentleman that lives within his means. meaning, if i can't afford to take you here or there. i'd make a way to take you. even if it requires me going without a few luxuries (not necessities). i'd never accept you to pay. if we go out to eat and all i have is $50 and your meal is $30..then i'll fake a stomach ache and get some soup. or if i'm keeping it real..i'd be like.."look i got $50..i want you to have a nice time, but we might have to split this appetizer, entree, & dessert". lol. not trying to knock you broke dudes. just saying...there was a day when men worked to impress ladies. and when "a man having more" was an incentive for you to work harder not for you to hate. men used to say, "i can't date her, because i want her to have the finer things..and i can't afford to give them to her". that's back when men took pride in taking care of women. back when "taking care of a woman" meant something. i admit you ladies have made it easier for these dudes. you have allowed them to think that "helping" him is the same as "enabling" him. if you have a little more, yes you can chip in to make the experience better. but don't lose focus that he supposed to be entertaining you. don't get to the point where you're paying for things and he's not even attempting to pull out his wallet. don't "take turns". he should always have more "i got the check" under his belt.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
wanna spend the rest of my life with you. i'm sure of that. i want God, my parents, my son, all my family & friends to witness it. i even want my enemies to see and hate their souls out. i want you to have my last name. i want to spend every second of the rest of my life being with you. i want to see you walking from across the room, courtyard, church aisle, beach..wherever you want to have it.. and think to myself that i could never ever see a more beautiful woman than the one approaching me.
i want to wait in anticipation for you to reach me. to see you. to countdown the minutes till you belong to me, and i belong to you. i want your parents to give you to me. to trust me. to love me. i want you to help me raise my son. i want you and my son's mother to get along. and even if you don't it don't matter cause i don't get along with her half the time anyway. but it'd be nice.
i want to look in your eyes, hold your hands, and just know it's right. just know you're right. i want to feel like we're alone in this big room despite all the people around us. i want time to stop. i want to feel the blessing of God cover us. i want to vow to be with you & only you forever. and i promise that to him, to you, to everyone that is watching. i take that vow seriously. i want you to take it as serious as i do. i want to get choked up on my feelings. caught up in the moment. i want you to squeeze my hand, to let me know it's ok. to let me know that you feel the same way. i wanna watch your eyeliner run just a little bit as you catch a tear or two. i wanna laugh when you pause before you say the, "honor and obey" part. as if you have to think about it. i can't wait to hear those two words leave your mouth.
two words that have never meant as much as they do right now. i can't wait to kiss you as my wife. kiss the woman that means everything to me in front of everybody that means anything to me. to hear the minister announce us as one. to walk back down that aisle together, hand and hand...and know i have someone to spend the rest of my life with. someone to laugh with. someone to cry with. someone to love me till my heart stops beating. someone to love me even after it stops.
i wanna watch you electric slide in your wedding dress as your mom & my mom bump into each other cause either one or both of them are going the wrong way. i wanna cut the cake and watch that look on your face, "you better not smash it on my face", while you're smashing a piece on my face. i wanna just stare at you as you hug and talk to our family & friends. still in amazement that God has blessed me with a woman like you. i feel like the luckiest man in the room, world, universe, ever...i want that feeling. i want you. i wanna marry you.
[day #7: sweet talk week]
Saturday, September 11, 2010
let's turn the cell phones off. and computers too. tonight. no tv. my eyes on you..girl. music playing softly. i wanna hear you sing...it's been a while since we've had, a chance to do our thing..girl. phone calls feel good. but nothing like the real thing, yea..yea. long distance love affairs. can't wait till the weekends. hope your flight wasn't too long. really hope you like this place. oh, it's a beautiful view baby..but nothing like your face...
-Eric Roberson : Weekend Getaway
i know i've been busy. it's been a long week...i apologize if you feel lost in the shuffle sometimes. i'm sorry, if i don't call enough or show you enough attention. but, tonight is your night. it's all about you. so turn off that tv. power down your cell phone. get off the computer. tonight's about me and you. tonight we're gonna dance, let the beat of our hearts be our music. can i sing to you?
"you're my..baby. my lover. my lady. all night, you make me. want you..it's drives me crazy..." musiq - so beautiful
"you..got me..thanking. God..for you. you got me. telling my mama. and my friends all about you..and i daydream, of you. touching. holding. kissing. as i'm sweating with you...came right on time...girl..every word of this song's gonna be about you.." raheem devaughn - you
a little old school?
"i want you....to want me. i want you..and i want you to want me too....want you to want me baby...just like i want you...bada dah dah.." [marvin gaye- i want you]
why you giggling? yanno you like it. let me entertain you. we don't need no radio, no slow jam tapes, or i-pod docks. all we need is each other. me and you. that's enough.
can i tell you a secret? i want to kiss you..oh that's not secret enough? well, i want to kiss you all over. whaaat?..you can't fault my mind for racing all over the place. you shouldn't be so sexy. but for real..tonight i want to do things to your mind & body that you've never witnessed, felt..imagined. real talk. no game. no gimmicks. no bullshit.
i just want to look at you...undress you with my eyes. caress you with my kiss. touch you with my thoughts. i'd love to kiss you there...there...there..and right there. as i tease that spot with my fingertip, the one behind your ear. the one that makes you lean your head back and close your eyes. i can tell you like it, because you aren't even fussing at me for having my hand in your hair. or my other on your... well you know where it is. . . and i can't wait to kiss you there either.
excited yet? cause i am. want me to strip for you? will you strip for me? i wanna watch your candle lit silhouette slowly take it all off for me. your body is beautiful, you are beautiful. i can't help but think how lucky i am. and how much i want you. i don't know if i said it out-loud or not, but i'm sure you can tell. come here let me profess my love. i'm gonna whisper sweet nothings in your ear till you have a eargasm..mental foreplay is just round one..tonight i'm gonna give you 12-play...and go 12 rounds before i knock it out..
don't worry, i put the sign outside the door. there will be no interruptions..
[day #6: sweet talk week]
this week's manfive friday #54 topic of the week: 5 things you can tell a man that will fuck up his world...
women have the unique ability, to just fuck you up completely. they can hit you where it hurts. cut you till you bleed. and sucker punch with the best of them. and that's without ever laying a finger on you. how you might ask?...simple. "the force". 5 things a woman can tell a man that completely fucks up his world..
#5: i have "fill-in-the-blank" (sexually transmitted disease)...
ok if you drop this bomb on him..he's gonna think one of two things. either. you cheated or he gave it to you. either way. none of those situations are good. if you sit a guy down to tell him you have some random ass std, he's going to be hiring someone like fabolous did kat stacks to come kidnap you and slap you up. because not only is he NOT gonna admit he gave it to you, he's gonna think you're a hoe. so now y'all sitting there with an audience (the clap) trying to figure out the next step. now if he knows he gave it to you, he may be inclined to forgive you. lol..because you finding out you had it first is still your fault. but if he finds out first and gets it treated...you're a hoe....cause he ain't got it.
#4: i cheated on you/i'm into someone else...
ok, we do all know that women are more forgiving right? cause if you cheat on a dude, the odds of him taking you back and "trying to work it out" are very slim. we just aren't hardwired for that kinda shit. it's a blow to ego. it's a betrayal of trust. and it's just fucking nasty. once you cheat we can't look at you the same. all we see is "other dude" on you. you got that scent everything. you just stank. and we don't want your stank hoe ass no more. as for you leaving me for someone else. and you want to be friends. fuck your friendship. if you found someone else, find yourself in their face. cause dudes ain't trying to have a heart to heart about no shit like that.
#3: i'm moving/let's live together...
a guy doesn't handle this well...because he usually interrupts this as a "what you gonna do" situation. i'm talking about the women who got job offers or headed to school and are moving away. or the chick who starts sleeping over every night and when her lease comes up is acting like she trying to shack up. either way this shit sends a man into panic mode. he's thinking...wtf am i supposed to do. maybe he likes the relationship but don't wanna live with you. he may want to have his space. want to be a nasty ass individual and not conform to living with someone else. maybe he is in love with you, but doesn't have the means to "marry" you or to move with you. either way it puts him between a rock and hard place. and he's just sitting there with a dumb look on this face... like if he just acts like he don't hear you, you'll drop it. yanno when you ask a guy something 12 times..and you're like.."why won't you answer me?"..umm..yea he's not answering you cause he wants you to shut up and stop asking it. you're just not catching the hint. so the next time..he answers everything but that question. remember that is your cue to stop asking that shit. that's what man silence translates to.
#2: let's just be friends...
you want to mortal kombat pull a dude's heart out finish move him? tell him you just want to be friends. let him be your "pretend" boyfriend. let him take them "cry on the shoulder moments" or we're just hanging out dates. then tell his ass you just want to be friends. or *gasp*...be out some place and introduce him as "my friend...." when he thinks he's your boyfriend. i'm telling you ladies. you want a smack brown? do that shit. seriously. men hate that. we do not want to be "just friends" unless we tell you that. if we haven't called you "just a friend" don't call us a "just a friend". if you've let me cake off money. be your taxi driver. made me listen to you whine, cry, and act-a-fool over some other dude and we like you...don't you let that shit slip from your friendable lips. yes, that may be what we just are. but don't you say it. don't you say it...
#1: i'm pregnant...
of course this is #1...if it weren't maury wouldn't be as popular as he is today. the #1 way to fuck up a dudes world is to tell his ass your pregnant. the only way this shit will not fuck up his world is if you're trying as a couple or he's trying as an asshole to knock you up. other than that...it is a life fucker upper. yes..even if you're married. and have 2 kids already. he's thinking to himself....."fuck, i knew i should have worn a condom". children are great. but having them unexpected is not some shit dudes are really into. so be sure to have the excuse ready when you get ready to tell him. it can be anything but, "i forgot to take my pill". if you said it's because you didn't take your birth control. smh..just don't ever say that. trust. just plead the fifth on that shit.
Friday, September 10, 2010
i've been trying to do manfive..but the site has been acting stupid all night. and completely erased half of what i wrote. so if i get a chance to complete it..i will. but right now i'm double middle fingering blogspot.
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as you pull up into the driveway and walk to the door. you notice a piece of paper by the doorbell: "welcome home". as you open the door you're greeted with a card: "follow your nose.." . as you proceed around the corner and into the kitchen. you see that dinner is almost ready. as you sneak a peek, you notice it's your favorite... with a note: "i aim to please". as you walk over to the counter where you see 11 red roses, surrounding a single white rose with a card that reads: "like you, there is always one that stands out in the crowd..". i catch you by surprise, as i sneak up behind you. and whisper "hey" in your ear. you probably were expecting something super romantic, but i pick and choose to tease you with my simplistic greeting.
you put your hands on mine, as i wrap my arms around your waist. i whisper in your ear again: "you hungry?". you nod. i tell you to have a seat at the table. as i pour you some wine. "tell me about your day....how was work?" we talk, until dinner is ready. we eat, we drink, we converse. sounds like the perfect night huh? "you ready for desert?" you smile and give me the *i'm too full* look. but i insist and get up, and return with a plate. i put a plate in front of you and instead of a desert there's yet another note: "not quite edible, but it's still sweet..upstairs is where you'll get your treat". yes, a little corny, but a perfect transition. as you walk upstairs you see a towel with a note on it: "follow the path..to your bath", as you see the rose petals leading into the bathroom. as you walk in you see a bath drawn with candles all around. with a note: "get undressed, get in & relax". you follow directions well, and after about 10 minutes i walk in with another surprise. a big, warm chocolate brownie, chocolate covered strawberries, and a scoop of ice cream. i don't know if your more excited to see me or the brownie. i sit on the edge of the tub and begin to feed you. "it's good?...you like it?"
when you're done, i get your towel...you catch me staring, but you like it. i wrap the towel around you and tell you to turn around. you see a note sitting by the sink: "go lay on the bed..". i can tell by the look on the face you know what's coming. but i surprise you again..when i walk out the bathroom with massage oil in my hand. starting with your feet, i work my way up. slowly. front & back. slowly. i get back on my whispering game.."how does that feel? i know you've had a long day. i just wanna make you feel good". i can tell it's working. as i start adding kisses, caresses, singing along to the music playing. i reach over to the pillow and pull out one final note:
"let's make love.."
[day #5: sweet talk week]
Thursday, September 9, 2010
this week's #twitterkills thursday topic of the week: people who should not follow me....
now i always say...anyone can add me. and usually if they don't seem totally insane i'll add them back. now some people (usually chicks i date) seem to say i tend to add more women than guys. as if i'm doing that on purpose. i have no problem adding dudes on twitter. the only thing i require when adding a dude on twitter is that he has on a shirt in his twitter icon. that's one thing i can't co-sign. if you add me, and you don't have on a shirt....dude.
i'm not being a hater. i don't think it's asking too much. i admit sometimes guys i've added, will feel the need to expose themselves for your ladies. and that's fine. if i've already added you, i'm not gonna unfollow you. i will cringe every time you show up in my timeline, but i can overlook that shit. but if i get a email saying, "@chestnificent has added you to twitter", and i go look and @chestnificent is shirtless with babyoil on...i can't add you bruh. i just can't. i'm sorry.
pulling out the shirt cannon from the basketball game..*BOOM*...*BOOM* put a damn shirt on dude.
i know the spark isn't always there. i know the fire has been less than "hot" lately. i know that the love that seemed "unbreakable" is becoming "berlin wall". i can't point my finger at you. please stop pointing yours at me. i honestly don't know what it is, what's missing, what we've lost. i just know we need to find it. we need to find it before it's too late.
tell me what you like....it's been a while since we've just talked. yanno, talked the way we used to. maybe that's what it is. have i stopped listening? paying attention? caring? i'm sorry.
how can i show you that i care?
do i have to go to the grocery store and pick you up some maxi pads? you want the kind with wings? will that show you that i'm willing to embarrass the fuck outta myself for you. will that make you smile? maybe while i'm out pick you up some of your favorite take-out. come home and rub your feet, hold you and NOT try to grope you up. what if i send you flowers like i used to. pick up my shit instead of leaving it all over the floor. do those things i promised to do days, weeks, months ago. stop arguing. stop being impatient. stop getting emotional. yes, i'll admit sometimes i'm dramatic. are we getting anywhere?
how can i make you feel good?
maybe run you a bath. maybe kiss your neck. whisper sweet nothings in your ear instead of yelling about some random shit that isn't even important. can i make love to you? no dirty talk, no rough sex, no biting..that is unless you want that. just tell me what & how you want it. i want to be the student. teach me. teach me how to love you right, again. it's important i do it right this time. life is too short, and you never know when we'll run out of chances.
how can i get that old thing back?
all relationships go through this. everyone has problems, rough patches. we just need to smooth them out and move past them. so are you willing to try with me? are you willing to make it better than before? if you've changed. if i've changed. if the things we want are different, can we compromise? if it's not too late, let me love you harder than i did before. remember how it felt when we first met. now remember all the great things that have happened during the course of the relationship. tell me that doesn't outweigh the bad...
i wanna get back to the point where i make you happy. back to the feeling that there was no one but me for you forever. i want to make you feel alive again. in love again. i want to jump start your heart with my love.
[day #4: sweet talk week]
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
i wanna carve your name and mine with the heart around it. scribble your name with my last name all over my driveway with sidewalk chalk. i wanna cut out paper hearts with our names on them and put them in all of my neighbors mailboxes. i'll even get on twitter and get put in twitter jail for tweeting it too much. i just love you. and i don't care who knows. if you're my woman. and i'm your man. what's the problem? if you aren't ashamed of our love. if no one else matters but me, who cares what they think. yes, we may fight. yes things might not always be perfect. but who's in this relationship...them or us?
luther vandross said it best..
"your secret love..why can't we tell somebody..cause secret loves, never last as long. your secret love, will never be your true love...i can't be your secret baby..it's breaking my heart"
you don't wanna break my heart do you? then stop acting like you got something to hide. i have to admit i'm beyond jealous of people who exclaim their love for others. i know that sounds real gay. but i'm serious. it's something about someone being proud to be with you. someone appreciating you. someone not afraid to tell anyone that they're in love with you. and they just don't care. it's like..whatever. you can judge my relationship, the person i'm with, the things we're doing vs. what you're doing..and i simply don't care. do you know how sexy that is?
i'm not talking about the overboard, "i got a man" shit. i'm talking about the woman who sincerely gets excited to be with her man. one that grabs my hand, when another dude walks by. that's her, "i got a man" line, not a ring, not an excuse, not a detour. one who smiles every time she talks about me. one who talks about me and you can feel the love pouring off her tongue. i want to make you feel like that. i want you to be so overcome with love you can't keep it to herself. because that's the way i love you. i'm the type of guy that when i get a real girlfriend all my friends already know what's up. my mama already knows your name. my female friends know that i gotta see 'em when i see 'em. i talk about you even when i don't realize i'm talking about you. i think about you all the time. i have no problem claiming you. no problem incorporating you in every part of my life. if my biggest regret is letting people know how much i love(d) you then i regret nothing.
everyone should know my name, not just your neighbors..
[day #3: sweet talk week]
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
that's when i knew i was born to love you. it was the first time i saw you. and you left me speechless...
as i struggled for words, i'm sure i looked foolish. you completely blew my mind. i couldn't see, think, or even walk straight. i didn't know what beauty was, until that moment. and i wanted to stay in that moment forever...
i can't get enough of hitting you up. texting. sexting. calling. emailing. writing. gchatting. tweeting. bbming (and i don't even have a blackberry). i just miss you. and yes, it's only been 4.32 minutes since we last spoke. saw one another. were together. but seconds away from you feel like hours. hours like days. days like weeks...i'm anticipating that beep, chirp, ring, "you got mail", letter..anything...i just gotta know you're thinking of me like i'm thinking of you. in fact my heart is beating triple time right now. remembering the sweet taste of your kiss. the way you run your finger across my lips before you kiss me. teasing me with your softness. i feel a tingle with every touch, fireworks with every kiss, connected with every look. you see right through me, and i l-o-v-e that.
i can't get enough of you. feeling you close to me. it's like a blanket fresh out of the dryer when i wrap my arms around you. all warm, soft, scented so gentle. i inhale you like the air and breath you like steam. because you set me on fire. every inch of my body is ignited with passion when i'm with you. from the curve of your neck to the small of your back, my lips and hands stay busy trailing across your body. you are so perfect. flawless. incredible...
but it's not just your outward beauty that astounds me. you have a kind heart and a beautiful mind. your intellect attracts me. those references to novels, biographies, world events...that's sexy. your dreams, aspirations, experiences..i want to hear them all. it's rare to find all the qualities you want in one woman. you embody all the things i need in my life. i pray that this love last forever, and it's not just the newness....
[day #2: sweet talk week]
"absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle, it blows up the bonfire."
-Francois de la Rouchefoucauld
this is a quote & a picture i stole from a calendar i made for my girlfriend. as "lovey dovey" as i seem, i have one big flaw. that's making time for relationships. i'm very attentive. anyone i've dated will tell you that. i pay a lot of attention to you. i just have an unconventional work schedule, a 4 yr. old son, and weird personal travel restrictions (i hate flying). so actually seeing a girlfriend who isn't a hop, skip, or drive away is difficult. so i made her a calendar. different pictures reflecting the different feelings/events/things going on month to month. but the most important part..i put dates on the calendar that were "in stone". well, not actually in stone. but we agreed we'd try to keep them as "taken" days. believe it or not, that really made a BIG difference.
i think when it comes to long distance relationships, anything that gives you something to look forward brings you closer. why is it so hard? i mean honestly people who live in the same city, state, home..sometimes don't appreciate being able to see one another whenever they want to. does distance make the heart grow fonder or does it make it harder. trust me, no one ever understands how i'm in a long distance relationship. it's one of those things, you don't understand unless you're in one. these types of relationships require trust, patience, and a lot of compensation.
you have to trust the person. there are going to be a lot of men that cross her path. a lot of women who'll look good, give me the time of the day, want a little more from me then conversation. if one or both are jealous, it's going to strain it till it doesn't work. sometimes it makes the other person very insecure: of themselves, of your friendships, and worried every time you step out the house. it's almost impossible to expect someone to be 100% trustful, because you're really not there. but you have to have a lot more trust then the average couple. because you can't make those, "drive by" visits at 3am to check and see if you're really at home, at your mama's house, or out with your girls.
there will be times where it's days..weeks..even a month(s) before you'll see them again. if seeing someone everyday is your thing. if you aren't used to doing things by yourself. if you can't entertain yourself. or don't have other friends to hang out with. it'll get really lonely & frustrating. if seeing them, being with them, touching them is very important to you..it's something you'll have to wait on. you can't get all excited about your day and rush home and tell them. you have to settle for the phone. you have to settle for cards, skype, text messages. a lot of being in a long distance relationship is waiting. you're waiting to see one another. to spend time. to be close. this is shit you never think about when you have someone available to you all the time. you take all that shit for granted until you don't have it.
sounds crazy..but it's true. you have to do more in long distance relationships. you have to make up for all the time you're not spending. you have to squeeze everything in a weekend. you have to give them all that love you've been saving up when you see them. you have to stay locked in all weekend making love. you have to see all the movies that's come out in the last month in two days. you have to show them pictures of things you've done and that's happened to you while you weren't together. you have to call more. you have to write letters, send cards, send flowers more. you have to have phone sex...have to. it's must. lol. a must.
don't get me wrong. it doesn't suck to be in a long distance relationships. there are feelings you get that you wouldn't if you saw the person everyday. like seeing her walk out of baggage claim the lights illuminating her silhouette and thinking..."wow...". that first kiss, that feels like...your first kiss in a million years. you appreciate all the time you spend together. believe it or not..you hardly fight while you're together. that feeling of "it's worth it" that you feel when you're with them. and even though you're sad as hell that in 36 hours, 28 minutes, and 17 seconds she'll be gone..you hold her the entire time like you'll never let her go.
yea...if i have to have a long distance relationship, it'll be a bonfire not a seance.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Q. Would you be in a long distance relationship? If yes, what would be your requirements and/or apprehensions? If no, why?
no one wants to be in a relationship where they don't see their girlfriend/boyfriend all the time. yet, there are circumstances beyond our control sometimes. maybe you got a job offer in new city. just moved away for college, or going home for the summer. you might even have to move back home to take care of a sick relative. or could be old friends that reconnected and live in different states. or maybe. just maybe, you met by chance at the airport, and couldn't pass up getting each others number. there are tons of scenarios. whatever the reason, it's hard to make that decision. should we attempt to make this work, or just say goodbye. my question this week is about long distance relationships. do they work? i will share my answer in a follow-up blog.
oh that's sexy huh?..
that's what you like?..
i may not be cut. i may not have unsymmetrical pecs like him. i don't have a horse. nor will i ever smell like old spice. but i can be that guy.
i may be light skin. i'm more like a cuddly teddy bear than a gladiator.i might get rejected for being too short from riding rides at six flags...but i can be that guy.
i may not be drama free..like your ex (by the way, how did that go?). i may not get along with your friends. your parents might not like me. but i can be that guy.
i'm not a prince. i never slayed any dragons. never climbed any towers saved any damsels in distress. but i can be that guy.
i don't wear a suit to work everyday. in fact i only wear suits to weddings, funerals, the occasional party, and court dates. but i can be that guy.
yanno, that guy. the guy you've always dreamed of.
just close your eyes. imagine the guy of your dreams. imagine all those bulging muscles. imagine him in that suit that fits...just right. imagine him towering over you (yes, even with your heels on). imagine that chocolaty goodness that makes your mouth water. now take off his clothes. and imagine his 4 inches of manliness. things aren't always "packaged" as they seem.
open your eyes.
i want you to look at me.
really look at me.
i don't wanna sell you a dream. i want to make your dream a reality. i can be that guy.
the one..who isn't afraid to love you. the one who isn't afraid to show you affection. the one who listens to you. the one who'll protect you, open your door, carry your bags. the one who supports you: your dreams, your wants, & holds your hand during everything. the man who'll give up all his worldly possessions, because what he wants with you doesn't end on earth.. i can be that guy who will love you like no other. that guy who will marry you. the guy who'll help you create & raise beautiful children. that guy who will buy you that house with the picket fence. the guy who will pray with you, will cry with you, will hold you till everything is better. i want to be the guy that when you look at him, all you see is forever.
i can be that guy.
[day #1: sweet talk week]
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
- girlfriend/boyfriend title
- moving in together
- getting engaged
- getting married
manfive friday #53 topic of the week: 5 things a woman must realize before going on vacation with her man...
#5: have a realistic idea of what level you're on...
if dude won't even drive to your house to pick you up because that's "too far", yall are not ready for a vacation together. if you've just started seeing each other and haven't started going on dates. it's a little premature to be thinking about getting on planes, trains and in automobiles. if it is a new relationship, don't think dude is going to take you to Jamaica. .set your sights on something inland. set your sights on something local but away from your usual spots (your/his place). have a realistic expectation. don't assume a guy is ready to jet away on an exotic adventure if he's given you no indication that's what he wants. don't assume because he says he'd like to go someplace that he was talking about with you or tomorrow. have a clear understanding before you start planning a trip of a lifetime for one.
maybe you're not at the vacation stage. maybe you're at the "he's just trickin'" stage. where he's jetting you off here and there, but it's not quite the vacation you we're hoping for. or yall are going to the hamptons every weekend to the point where it's no longer a vacation it's a hobby. if you've been there and done that. then move to the next step. plan a trip a little further away from home. spend a little more money. look for fun, interesting, new things to do. don't try to ball out like it's your honeymoon or your golden anniversary. just plan something nice based on the level you're on. if you don't know the level you're on..you shouldn't be going on vacation with the person anyway...
#4: respect his wallet..
some of you ladies have defied the law of stinginess and actually go in financially on trips with your man. please skip to #3, because this is strictly for the stingy ladies.
okay scroogettes. .if you are planning a trip with your dude. and he is paying for everything (which i don't disagree with...since technically it's a date. and i believe dudes should pay for everything date related) respect his money. don't do "sky-is-the limit" shit unless he gives you free range to. first class flights, suites, beach cabanas, etc..are all nice. but if dude is struggling to pay his rent, car payment, utilities, car loans...take it easy on his wallet. shit..even if he's rolling in cash, don't spend a man's money for him. that is a big pet peeve of mine. i hate when women spend my money for me. i hate when they take it upon themselves to tell me what they want, when they would never spend their own money for it. if all you fly is first class..then i'ma keep you first class baby. if you fly with 3 connections and only when airtran has the $79 special you better hop your ass on this coach flight in a dress & some heels and act you got some sense. free is free...sit back & enjoy. all the ladies who do have to put something on it would appreciate a man who'd throw a vacation in the bag...
#3: this is a vacation for both of you..
women have the habit of taking over shit and making it about them. going on vacation means, "all new everything". it means "diet to get in that bikini". it means spend days/weeks/months looking for the perfect spot, perfect hotel, things to do..etc. sometimes it becomes "YOUR" vacation. not "OUR" vacation. the lines of "we're going as a couple to be together" get blurred..and all you focus on is the actual details. don't lose focus on what the trip is about. it's about being together & doing new things as a couple. a change of scenery. relaxing..having fun. you stressing out about things before. you being anal about shit while we're there is not relaxing or fun. try to pick a location that both of you will enjoy. don't go for "my dream vacation" as if this is your last and only chance to have it. hopefully you'll have plenty of future trips together. if you start taking over this one, then you probably wont...
#2: sex is a must..
unless you're a virgin. and in that case you probably wouldn't be sharing a room/bed/life with dude anyway..lol. if yall haven't gotten to the "sex" part of your relationship you can go jump out a window with your trip wanting ass. not to sound sexist, chauvinistic, barbaric, ignorant, whatever you want to call me...if you aren't planning on having sex there is really no reason to go on no trip with a dude. go with your girlfriends. go with your parents. go with your dog or some shit. but don't waste a dudes time or money. guys go on trips with women for sex in different places. that's the highlight of the trip for us. the sex.
when you get off the plane:
women think: "look at all the palm trees...sand..it's beautiful. i can't wait to see the rest of the island"
men think: "i can't wait to get to the hotel"
when you get to the hotel:
women think: "wow the hotel is so pretty! look at the view.."
men think: "this a nice bed...when are we having sex? that is a nice view , wonder if the balcony is stable enough for us to have sex on it"
after a long day of tourism:
women think: "that was wonderful. i had the best time of my life. i love him so much. we better get some sleep, early morning tomorrow".
men think: "ok..i did all that bullshit..now is time for the good part. flexxxx time to have sexxxxx"
while laying on the beach:
women think: "the water is so blue, maybe we can go snorkeling"
men think: "does saltwater stop pregnancy? or do i still need to wear a condom..will the salt water break the condom..decisions decisions"
back on the plane:
women think: "that was great...i can't wait to do it again.."
men think: "i wonder if she'll let me join the mile high club...where's that blanket?"
#1: don't jump to conclusions..
a vacation does not lead to marriage. we don't go away together and come back husband and wife. just because it's a step doesn't make it as big of a step as you may feel it is. a lot of times women think that it takes a lot for a guy to go away with her. or that he has to really be feeling her. i admit, for some it is a "we have to go to that point" thing. but for other's going some place with you is as easy as packing a bag, jumping on a plane and going.
just like you can't assume a man is ready to go on vacation with you. don't assume just because he does, he's ready for other things. trips do not equal progressing in a relationship. a lot of times, it can show you where you are in the relationship. you can go and have an awful time with someone who really isn't into you. you could go and find out dude only brought $59.32 with him for the entire week. it could just be about impressing you, not actually spending time with you. you can't always equate things a guy is doing for you as him caring. have a good time, enjoy yourself. but don't get your hopes up that your dream vacation will lead to your dream life together. life is NOT a vacation. there is no room service, housekeeping, long days of sleeping and lounging after you get home. you gotta go back to work on monday and his ass is still gonna be laying on your couch, playing xbox, scratching his nuts when you get home. don't romanticize..open your eyes. a vacation is just a vacation. enjoy at your own risk..lol