Thursday, June 3, 2010
to neck, or not to neck..
ok, i admit..i used to be a v-neck hater. i used to say, "what kinda guy would wear a v-neck?". but that's only because of the old school v-necks. yanno the actual fruit of the looms t-shirts that are as thin as a piece of paper and the "v" exposes your nipple by mistake.
i do not co-sign v-necks that show cleavage. i do not co-sign v-necks that expose your belly button. i do not co-sign v-necks that shows your contracting abs because it's so tight it's doing crunches for you. these are not acceptable v-necks. i did not get into the v-neck game to share a shirt with my chick.
so what is acceptable? why did i decide to rock a v-neck?
actually what got me started was a black & gold v-neck from blac label. the shirt was calling me. but i had never worn a v-neck shirt before. but the shirt was crazy ridiculous & i was willing to try something new. so when i got the shirt it was wonderful. i couldn't believe it. so i go and get another v-neck from blac label, and the shit dipped down to my belly button. needless to say that shit did NOT stay on for more than 2 minutes. 1 minute in denial it was that low. 1 minute to laugh in shock and text my boys and tell them how gay that shit was. after that experience i became really particular about v-necks. so i came up with a few rules...and YES i expect everyone to abide by them...
rule #1: the v-neck must be made for a man. (no Unisex v-necks)
rule #2: the v-neck must be your size or a size bigger (no one thinks you have muscles. they think you have titties).
rule #3: if you nipples at any time are exposed or slip from the side, your belly button can be seen, or someone can do a body shot off your pecs the shirt is too low.
rule#4: if you can step through the top and pull it up over your legs, it's too wide..you're wearing a poncho
rule #5: you must not wear it to expose a tattoo (that's equivalent to women wearing v-necks to show off their breast...)
rule #6: the v-neck can't be girly colors. no pastels, no paisleys, no pinks..
if you follow these rules, you should be alright. why is this fad different than men wearing skinny jeans? because men wearing skinny jeans is not only hazardous to their sexuality. any article of clothing that requires you to pack your nuts into a pocket...can't be safe. v-necks when worn responsibly are great. it gives you a bit of maturity. think about it. what started the phase? the fact that dudes were wearing v-neck sweaters with their button ups. then they started wearing t-shirts when it got a little warmer under their v-necks. then it progressed. women like to see a little skin. and when i say a little i mean, your neck. cause let's face it, a lot of us don't hardly have them. especially the older we get...it starts fusing with the head & shoulders..lol. so v-necks shows a little neck, a little clavicle. but anything more...they'd rather you have your shirt off. a woman does NOT wanna see skin from a plunging neck line. so please "v" responsibly.