Friday, June 25, 2010

manfive friday #48

this week's manfive is brought to you by the letter "E" for exaggeration...
manfive friday #48 topic of the week: why do men kick it?

i got this question posed to me the other day, by a chick who wanted to know why the dude she was dealing with was putting on an act.  as she explained it, she already liked him. why does he continue to exaggerate about what he's doing...he already has her. she wanted to know...the five things men exaggerate the most about..

#5: their money...

i know a lot of you ladies are no fools. it's easy to sniff out the dudes with "" jewelery. but you get fooled by the dudes driving the range, putting $5 worth of regular gas in the tank. you see him pull out a stack of $100 bills, yet don't notice it's really $50 in one's wrapped in an $100 bill. you always want to turn on dude's flat screen, but one day you notice it has dummy buttons and it's one of those showroom tv's. or you see the dudes who got "all nice everything" but don't find out till 3 months later he lives in his parents basement. he keep telling you, my mom's living with me so i can help her out. yet, his mom is always at work and he's always chilling with you at his mom's house.

why men lie about it..

cause money makes your panties come down. men know that. if a man don't have no money, EVEN if you aren't really on the gold digger ain't trying to check for him. so in order to look more appealing. they have to have money..or at least SEEM like he as money.

#4: what's in their pants...

ladies, just a suggestion. no matter what a dude says to you. do not stock up on the gold wrappers until you've felt for yourself. a guy will have you thinking you about to need some stitches. he'll talk that real good game on you. you look at a 6'5 dude...and you just know it's gotta be big. then you see it and you are sitting there trying to decide if you're gonna laugh, grim & bear it, or just get up & go home. a man is NEVER gonna tell you his shit is small. that is something you'll have to discover. in fact, a lot of guys don't even know they are small...until they see the look on your face. they might actually be the biggest of all of their friends, because yes they've looked & compared. you'll know him a mile away because he'll have 4 random kids, due to his magnums always sliding off during sex.

why men lie about it..

cause it sucks to be small. imagine if a guy told you off jump, "my dick is 3 inches". yea you laughed when you read it, didn't you? what the hell can you do with 3 inches, but laugh? guys don't want to accept their dick is small, even if it is. all the pumps, pills, & other techniques they swear will increase it to the point you don't notice. *kanye shrug*  i would have no idea..since we all know short guys pack their height in the *cough* important places *cough*

#3: their "friends"..

you ever met a guy with a lot of cousins that don't look like him? like he got asian, black, white, etc. and you're thinking.."yea it's possible". or he has that one friend that is always around. and you get that uneasy feeling about. or you went to his mom's house and saw a picture of him & her at the prom.

why men lie about it..

because women don't ever understand friendships between you & women. she's not gonna understand you are still friends with your girlfriend for high school. or that you and your homegirl have just been cool like family for the longest. the second she doesn't think you share blood...she is looking to shed blood in either you or your friend.

#2: their feelings..

you remember the movie, "say anything"?. well forget about that for a second. "say anything" is not a's a motto. and men will "say anything" to get in your panties. you'll have the roughest toughest dude sweet talking and about to shed a tear talking about his feelings. but ladies..don't be fooled. if sex is in the air..what a man is saying to you can't be trusted. yall know that shit. that's the reason why, right after're asking, "did you really mean it when you'd take me..". and he don't answer anymore. and you think he sleep. but he's laying there, eyes open, whispering "r'oh-oh" in his scooby doo voice.

why men lie about it..

because we think with our dicks, not with our brains. all the blood leaves our brain and hits that other area, and it just starts controlling us. and we don't even realize what is coming out of our mouth. we start agreeing, nodding, and saying yes. you could probably ask us if we want a shit sandwich and we'll say yes. i'd love to tell you we are wrong, but honestly you ladies are the one's wrong for trying to ask us questions in that coma like state. bad women, very bad...

#1: being single..

walking up to a woman and hearing, "i got a man.." is not an unlikely event. most times it isn't even a deterrence. but how many times have you walked up to a man and heard, "i got a woman"? how many times have you dated a dude and found out later he had a girlfriend, wife, babymama he live with? more times than not..if you're looking right and you ask a dude if he's single, he's gonna say yes. even if he don't do nothing with you.

why men lie about it..

maybe they are testing the waters out. maybe they are just trying to get some on the side. maybe they want the best of both worlds. whatever the reason they are selfish and are just thinking about themselves. even if they are unhappy in their current relationship they are STILL in it. they are lying to make you think that they are available to be with you.


★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Geeez man, the world would be a much more better place if everyone just presented themselves HONESTLY from the start! Of course that's too much like right so you have play the hand that you are dealt! I absolutely HATE when men lie about being single. That's the first thing I ask: What's your status? Single, taken, married, divorced, in a "situation"? The times they are involved, I'm on that "Oh yeah? Ok we have nothing left to discuss" vibe. What really makes you think that I want to waste my time with you? I don't share! I ran into a situation with a dude who lied about what's in his pants. Dude had me all hyped about NOTHING! I was so young and naive though so I partly blame myself for not feelin' him up beforehand. LOL. Honestly, I think some DO know that they are funsized in those boxers but a chick must've blown their head up to believe otherwise. In regards to the whole money issue, I'm not looking for a dude to be filthy rich (although it would be nice LOL) but as long as he is employed and making something of his life LEGALLY and can hold my interest while making me laugh then we can flow. Dates don't necessarily need to cost money. Movie dates are old. I can't talk to you like I want to in a theater. Restaurants are overrated. There's more than enough distraction there as well. If I'm really feelin' a dude, I'd be satisfied if we're just at the crib playin' Wii with pizza or even trying to cook a meal together. Let's hang out on South Beach and walk Ocean Drive. Time spent PLUS we're having fun. You can't beat that.

Isis said...

thumbs up to whoever it was that gave you this topic!

i actually have had 2 guys tell me their dicks were small...1 of them just came right out and said it, the other hasked me somethin like what was the minimum size, and i told him a number, & he said he was smaller than that...(although i wasn't prepared for how MUCH smaller...i literally thought to myself: Come on now God, you know you could have gave him more than that)...i grinned & bore (beared?) it. condom definitely slipped off...sad times.

i also had a different dude, the 1st time i saw/felt what he was working with, ask me if i thought he was big enough to satisfy me.

i'm not gonna go on a "niggas w/small dicks need to have their shit together" rant. but they do. somebody needs to give them a memo that they can't get away w/the shit that fellas who are packing can get away with. it may not be fair, but neither is life.

and F all that about them not realizin their shit is small. they watch flicks!

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@starrla monae: where are all the women that think like you? i HATE distractions of resturants. it's not about the money to me. i'm saying it's not always a cheap alternative to eat in. buying food to cook, setting a mood...takes effort, time & money. i'd rather lavish you in that & gifts then sitting out overpaying for food, bad service, & a 2 hour wait.

@isis: oh you like this one huh?..and when i say men don't realize it..because there are chicks who gas a dudes head up to the point where he think he's not small anymore even though all the signs including the magic eightball point to "funsize". he thinks guys in flicks are just "supersized", "no man can possibly live up to that..". then he takes a shower at the gym and gets his feelings hurt. lol.

sunshinestar110 said...

I thought I had something to say but Starrla summed it up for me!! sooooooooo every thing she said

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@sunshinestar110: just don't want your dudes reading this comment and seeing you calling them a "short short" man. it's all good. we read "underline" meanings around her. lol