Friday, June 4, 2010

manfive friday # 46

every has someone in their life that always thinks they are right. always thinks they know better than you. always wants to stop your fun.
*saved by the bell timeout*

ladies, this is you on a regular basis when it comes to men. wanna meet the original funstopper? well let me introduce you to your mom. her job is to annoy the hell out of you the same way you annoy the hell out of us.
*ok time in*

one thing i've learned about women, yall can dish it, but you can't take it. meaning, you don't like a dose of your own medicine. your mom annoys the hell out of you because she's always telling you shit like she's always right & knows everything. and guess what, sometimes she is...

manfive friday #46 topic of week: 5 things your mom says about your boyfriend...that are probably true

#5: he won't buy the cow if he gets the milk's for free 

unless you live in a far far away land, you've heard your mom at least say this to you once in your life. mom's love to suggest that if you're giving, he'll have no problem receiving. and i'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she's right. if you are sitting around playing house with a dude. giving him all the benefits of marriage, with none of the responsibilities..why would he change that? yes, at a certain point a man might want more and decide to marry you. but if he knows he can keep the relationship the way it is, without going that extra step..why not trade the cow for the magical beans in hopes of a beanstalk growing in your backyard? he can always come back and get the milk from you or elsewhere. your mom is on one hand trying to keep you virginal, but she's also trying to teach you a valid lesson in life. "people value things they have to work for, and aren't easily attainable". not saying stay a virgin or to hold back in your relationships. just saying that if he feels like "it's a good as it's gonna get" and yall aren't committed/married. then he has no incentive to change the situation.

#4: long engagement, he's not gonna marry you

see this is the thing mother's see that you don't. after a man has asked you to marry him, two things happen.
  1. you're super excited..
  2. he thinks he's done with his side of the responsibility
a man feels as if he's done his part. he's gone out, got you a ring. he's asked you to marry him. he's told the world, he wants you to be his girl. he's hanging up his player title. he at this point, does not care when yall get married, how you get married, where you get married...whatever. most times he's in no rush. you got the wedding books out, picking out dresses, hurting your friends feelings denying them being bridesmaids, planning shit like he gave you a date. see your mom realizes until there is a date that shit isn't secured. all that is, is an expensive promise ring. and if you talk to your dude and he convinces you yall should wait 1 year and a day. your mom is like, "okay, we'll see if that happens". because mom's don't operate even a minute over a year engagement. it's almost like, "well if he isn't ready, why did he even ask you?", "what is he waiting for?",and "if he doesn't think he'll be ready in a year, how does he know he'll be ready in two?" yes, a mom takes the excitement out of your 2 year engagement, but she puts the reading glasses on your face. because she's really saying, examine this shit closely. don't let the ring fool you, he still ain't trying to marry you, he just proposed so you'd stop badgering him & because you promised to swallow once you got engaged (ok, maybe i'm out of line for last part. lol. maybe i'm not.)

#3: if he doesn't care about his credit, why would he care about yours

i remember when i got my first credit card. i ran that sucker up like crazy. my mom got the bill one day and fussed me out. first for having a credit card. second for using a credit card. and third for amassing a debt. she quickly paid it off and told me not to use it anymore. of course i ran that shit back up, but after a while i learned my lesson and got smart with my credit. my mom helped me even during my hard headed stage with these two rules "no credit cards" & no "co-signing". guy's moms are notorious at being personal accountants and financial bodyguards when it comes to chicks in their son's life. but women, are different. your mom will try to preach financial importance to you. but all you will hear is, "he needs to have money..". not the "he'll have to be good, with his money" part. you will get with a guy with a good job & bad credit. he'll tell you he can't get a car because the interest is too high, can you just sign for it. and your crazy ass will just do it. never mind  you were laying in the bed with him when his last car just got repossessed. let's face it, if you're sitting in his home and he's getting disconnect notices. his phone is not on most of the time. yall watching tv and cable go out and it says, "call extension 123". this dude is not safe with his own money. your credit is like a credit card to him. do not allow him to fuck up your credit & life.

#2: first comes the mack then comes the shack..both of them equal you ending up on your back. no shacking.

if i told my mom a chick moved in with me, she'd have a stroke. first of all she'd be disappointed with me. second, she'd be embarrassed i was being a downright fornicating heathen, showcasing my house of heathenistic practices. thirdly, she'd doubt the sincerity of the relationship, because why just live with her..when we could get married start a life together. i know, i know this is a bit old school. but i'm saying a lot of moms think shacking is ultimately a way to get a lifelong roommate, not a spouse. of course there are a lot of benefits it cuts down on rent and basically if you're gonna be spending the night at one another place anyway, what's the harm? but, this kinda goes hand and hand with the "buying the cow, when the milk is free" ideal. if he's living with you & yall playing house what incentive is it for him to want more with you? what's the point of playing house, when you can just make a home?

#1: he planting seeds, but not laying any roots

a woman's mother sees through the glaze & gets right to the doughnut.

you: he's really good with kids, he has a little boy & a girl..
mom: oh, he has two the same woman?"..
you: no, two different women
mom: *crickets*
you: he left the first one cause she was crazy
mom: *crickets*
you: she was always coming up to his job & the other one..she just dumb
mom: *crickets*
you: he's real nice, mom
mom: *gets herself together*. i'm sure he is nice, but 2 kids. two different mothers. he hasn't married either one of them and he has kids with them, why would he marry you?
you:because he loves ME
mom: chile please...

not saying that dude isn't on the up & up. just saying, a mom will look at the track record and pretty much access the situation. personally i'm divorced w/ a child and i'm told that is frowned upon. what chance does a guy with two kids, no marriage, or commitment to the women he had kids with have when it comes to mom's approval? very slim. you have to have an understanding mother, because most times she's gonna come in hating at the door. parents always magnify the person in your life to make sure they are deserving of you. even if your mom is cool & doesn't mean these thoughts don't pass through her mind. always remember her being right, isn't the end of the world. just usually the last thing she'll say to you before yall get off the phone.


ms.rubies said...

this was a great list, defin worthy of huge consideration..btw your mom (and most moms) are amazing...LOL

sunshinestar110 said...

My mother would be so proud to see this list right here. She has said at leas 4 of those 5 things to me a time or two i definitely take them all in to consideration every time I'm entertaining a guy!!!

Mommy's are the best!

jazzyjaz said...

Mama will never lead you wrong and when my mother offers her opinion on a man in my life I usually listen because she can sniff out an asshole, bullshitter and ain't shit dude from a mile away!

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

This is a great post! I agree on all the points listed! Growing up, I used to hate when my mom always wanted to meet the dudes I called myself head over heels my head I was thinking, "Dang, mom, I KNOW HIM well enough! What do you need to meet him for?!" now I know why. LOL.