Wednesday, June 16, 2010
that's not my name...
my girlfriend is a nickname generator. her & her friends have this habit of naming everybody a nickname. some of them are last names, "norwood". personality traits, "dry toast". skin tones, "the lightness". job titles, "the actor". where their from, "yonkers". you get the picture?
so what was my nickname, "atl". i say was because once i found out they were referring to me as "atl" i got mad that it lacked total creativity. now they just mispronounce my name. but everyone else the nicknames are so addictive you start thinking it's really their name. in fact i find myself describing any chick i used to talk to with a nickname (man rule #832 never reveal the name of your ex, your girl will continue to use it against you) that she's made up to stop me from referring to them as my ex. as i was reading some of your blogs i noticed a lot of you ladies do the same thing. i know on the internet you don't want to reveal people's "real names", but i bet yall use those nicknames outside of the internet too. what's up with that?
men don't really have nicknames for chicks that don't refer to their body parts. like literally you hear it and be like, "oooh" when you see her. like you call a chick thickshake. and you be like, "there go joe & thickshake". women on the other hand are notorious for naming dudes something for short that only they see. like it's shorthand or some shit. let me ask the fellas a question...(the 2-3 of yall that admit to reading the blog), you ever been with your chick and she say, "there go tamika and sampson". and you be like, "sampson?". and she's like, "yea we call him sampson". and you're like, "why..?" and she's like, "cause he kinda look like a lion". and you cock your head to the side and be like..."oh okay, i see that". but it's like where the hell did that come from? who does that? if you name a dude sampson i'm expecting to see some dude with long hair. not that he kinda look like a lion. or they have you calling a dude by a name they made up and you think it's his name. imagine hanging out with your chick and her homegirl & some dude come by. and she's like, "this is my boyfriend Terry". and ask your chick after they walk away, "what happen to Norwood?". and she's like, "he is norwood, terry norwood". why she talking to me like i was supposed to connect the dots? i'm saying how the hell would i know that?
what i'm trying to say is...death to nicknames in 2011. let's learn how to just call dudes by their first names like normal people. why do you need to shorthand and reference a dude like a sticky note?