Wednesday, June 16, 2010

that's not my name...

June Challenge (day #16)

my girlfriend is a nickname generator. her  & her friends have this habit of naming everybody a nickname. some of them are last names, "norwood". personality traits, "dry toast". skin tones, "the lightness". job titles, "the actor". where their from, "yonkers". you get the picture?

so what was my nickname, "atl". i say was because once i found out they were referring to me as "atl" i got mad that it lacked total creativity. now they just mispronounce my name. but everyone else the nicknames are so addictive you start thinking it's really their name. in fact i find myself describing any chick i used to talk to with a nickname (man rule #832 never reveal the name of your ex, your girl will continue to use it against you) that she's made up to stop me from referring to them as my ex. as i was reading some of your blogs i noticed a lot of you ladies do the same thing. i know on the internet you don't want to reveal people's "real names", but i bet yall use those nicknames outside of the internet too. what's up with that?

men don't really have nicknames for chicks that don't refer to their body parts. like literally you hear it and be like, "oooh" when you see her. like you call a chick thickshake. and you be like, "there go joe & thickshake". women on the other hand are notorious for naming dudes something for short that only they see. like it's shorthand or some shit. let me ask the fellas a question...(the 2-3 of yall that admit to reading the blog), you ever been with your chick and she say, "there go tamika and sampson". and you be like, "sampson?". and she's like, "yea we call him sampson". and you're like, "why..?" and she's like, "cause he kinda look like a lion". and you cock your head to the side and be like..."oh okay, i see that". but it's like where the hell did that come from? who does that? if you name a dude sampson i'm expecting to see some dude with long hair. not that he kinda look like a lion. or they have you calling a dude by a name they made up and you think it's his name. imagine hanging out with your chick and her homegirl & some dude come by. and she's like, "this is my boyfriend Terry". and ask your chick after they walk away, "what happen to Norwood?". and she's like, "he is norwood, terry norwood". why she talking to me like i was supposed to connect the dots? i'm saying how the hell would i know that?

what i'm trying to say is...death to nicknames in 2011. let's learn how to just call dudes by their first names like normal people. why do you need to shorthand and reference a dude like a sticky note?


Isis said...

LOL...i am soooo into nicknames--every guy i talk to gets a nickname--mostly b/c it's how your friends remember who's who. nobody's gonna remember "steve"...but everybody's gonna remember "cheap haitian guy", or "pencil dick". *shrug*
never realized how prevalent this was among females, lol.

but i also give nicknames to just about one point almost no one on my contact list on my phone had their real names.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

My friends and I use nicknames for guys we're dealing with but only among ourselves. Whenever we are interacting with said guy he gets called by his government name. I agree w/Isis though. The girls will remember who you're talking about if you say "I'm really glad pencil dick is out of my life" but if you say, "Damn I really don't miss Steve", they'll look at you like, "Steve? Who's that?" LOL

sunshinestar110 said...

lmaooooooooooo..*raising hand* my friends and I do that all the time. Names are sometimes to hard to remember or maybe multiple friends have dudes with the same common names like James so find better way to keep them in order. We also use names when we are talking bout some1 that they might know we don't want everybody in the business so you got to find a way to beat the system from time to time!!! lol

Enigma Jones said...

I give every guy nicknames until he is officially in a relationship with me. (Woman rule #5 - Don't name the puppy, it makes you get attached too quickly.) ;)

ms.rubies said...

LOL....i'm totally guilty of that too. my girlfriends actually come to me for nicknames, i'll probably do it forever.

Alovelydai said...

Sorry...Bartender Dude is here to stay!!!

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@isis: trifling.."no one's gonna remember steve" lol. Well you know my first name..everyone will remember it. Maybe not how to pronounce it, but will know it's weird.

@starrla monae: again, trifling. That's how I discovered the whole nickname thing. My girlfriend was laughing saying, "my friend was looking through my phone & saw your name and was like ******, who is that?" I'm like how we been friends forever & they don't at least know my unique ass name. Smh.

@sunshinestar110: I understand the whole, talking without giving away who you're talking about thing. But if your dude tells you none of his friends know your name & they all calling you chocothighs aren't you gonna be side eyeing that shit?

@enigma jones: damn shame. So you'd play with a puppy, but not name him? Smh

@ms rubies: sending you to nickname rehab

@alovelydai: smh..bartender dude? I said, no creativity.