Wednesday, June 2, 2010

jean mechanic. . .

June Challenge (day #2)

the science of nig-gaw rigging your jeans..

it's no secret, i'm short. i say it all the time. you can READ into half of my gripes about women ONLY liking 6' + guys that i'm not a member of the 6ft+ club. honestly it's not something im uncomfortable with. i'm in my 30's...obviously i've realized there will be no more growth spurts in my future. but one thing i HATE the most about being short, is hemming pants. not so much slacks & suit pants, because lets face it that's how they come. but i HATE the length of most jeans. okay back in the day rolling them up was cool. having the little crease at the bottom after you flipped them over a time a two...was a style. but once we ventured out of the 90's and into adulthood rolling them up stopped being an option.

so then i started invested in jeans at the appropriate length for me. i'd order them tailored with the correct inseam. but that became tiring & too much work and pigeonholed me to a particular style and brand. so i decided to just grim and bear it. yes, i could go to a tailor to have them hem my jeans, but i feel that shit is a waste of time. it's just jeans. so i used to start rolling them under, but eventually they will fall out and drag across the ground. so one day i thought to myself...

why don't i cut these bitches? i had noticed that many short dudes before me had thought of cutting their jeans as well. i always noticed it, but never thought to do the same thing myself. but hey...that's kinda smart. it goes along with the whole, "damaged", "torn", "worn" look. not to mention it will save me a trip to the little lady who always says, "these pants too long, why don't you buy them your size" (and yanno i'm trying to avoid sounding racist so i won't tell you what race she is..but it makes it EXTRA annoying)*seesmic raccoon eye roll* bitch if they sold them my size, why would i have chose to come to you? so being a diy'er (do it yourself-er) i decided to try it out. i cut them, ironed them, and walked out into the world. only to realize a few hours later i had cut them too short and i was doing my best michael jackson impression all over the place. so after that mishap, i decided to cut the jeans while i still had them on. great idea right? riiiiiiiight? bending and cutting does one thing, and one thing only. it guarantees one leg will be longer than the other. not so, i know..i know.

so how did i fix the problem. i decided to wear the jeans out a few time at the distorted length. and the parts that were scuffed, dusty from scrubbing the ground i just started cutting those parts off. yes. it's ghetto. yes there is no science to it. but the shit works. so there you have it, ladies & gents. i taught you absolutely nothing. except how to laugh at someone being a dumbass. and how to appreciate your height matching the size of your pants, so you don't have to go through the drama of nig-gaw rigging your jeans like me.

6 comments:

Supastarrr said...

lol I'm glad your jeans fit you right
after ALL that.

stephanie said...

i use to have the opposite problem. around the waist they'd fit but length-wise they were too short. i guess what i'm saying is that everyone has issues with jeans and the whole jean-buying process. it's no wonder people tend to rotate the few they like and leave the rest hanging in their closets.

these days i'm rocking jeans from pacsun. affordable and a great fit.

sunshinestar110 said...

I'm glad u found a system to work for ur jean hemming!! and u must be a lil tiny thing if all this drama has to go on for ur jeans to fit ...lol...must be a GA thing!!!

Halle Anderson said...

Great blog! Come visit me at www.HalleAnderson.com

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@supastarrr: i'm not gonna lie and say all of them fit. but it's a constant work in progress. the important thing, at least i'm trying lol..

@stephanie: i didn't even mention i am cursed with the "no ass at all" illness. i can forget any pants fitting me at my waist. i can literally pull my pants down without unbuttoning or undoing my belt. in fact i only undo and unbuckle as part of a strip tease..lol

@sunshinestar110: of course it has to be a "ga" thing. i've heard that before, so i won't try to defend that attack on my state. but yea it's a struggle me & emmanuael lewis share..

@halle anderson: thanks, i'll stop by.

jazzyjaz said...

awwwwwww...My problem I can't find jeans long enough! I've always been a little taller than the rest so jeans fitting my long legs are hard to come by so when I find a pair that drags on the ground I do my happy dance.