Tuesday, July 13, 2010
sometimes i get upset. i get very upset. and it boils my blood almost like a vampire with an sterile OCD.
i find these days my anger or (better put) my disappointment in things & people is easier set off than a car alarm in bankhead.
my life is like an equalizer (yes, a music reference). it's full of ups, downs, & levels. just as it's peaking...it gets dragged down. sometimes it levels out. sometimes it goes below "0".
what can i do? anger management would just make me angry. i'm serious. i feel like sitting around discussing with a stranger and listening to what they think my "real problem" would just make me wanna choke them like someone eating a peanut m&m at the same time they were coughing. i don't think that's the solution, nor do i think my anger is that bad.
i think i just need to scream. like just go to the edge of the world and just scream till my voice leaves for a few days. it's frustration. you ever have an idea of something. a vision of a perfect world..and in your mind you're so close to making that real. i find myself there all the time. like i can reach it. touch it. smell it. yet, it's just being yanked away like the football lucy always moves right as charlie brown is about to kick it.
why can't i kick the fucking ball?