Saturday, July 24, 2010

not my type....

so..i was talking to a friend about one of her friends. she was telling me how, this guy who works at this store up the street from their house has a huge crush on her friend.

she had been telling me for a while how the guy was always flirting with her friend. and even told her one day that if she "hooked that up" for him that everything in the store for her was free. i'm sure he didn't mean that literally. but it was implied that if you hook me up, i'll hook you up.

so casually they see dude and tell him that it's the friend's birthday. so the next time dude sees the friend he has a $150 gift certificate, a card, etc. for her. so she takes the gift. thanks him. they even go on a walk that night. sounds like the great beginnings of a love connection huh?

not actually. she doesn't want to date dude because he is short. he's not in shape. now immediately. i start laughing. she's one of those, "black women can't get married" chicks and she's discriminating based off of looks? this chick couldn't keep a man to save her life. the dudes she normally mess with, wouldn't have done that for her, not without being her boyfriend first. why would she let how dude look stop her from getting to know him? yanno the movies where the nerd gets the "hot chick" at the end. where he steals her heart by being a "nice guy". that shit don't happen in real life. women will stop a dude at the front door if he's not "her type". when women do it and it's like.."oh i understand girl, he just ain't your type". men aren't allowed to have "types" or preferences". when we prefer something. when we are outspoken or criticize a woman we are superficial, self loathing, jerks. when a woman has a "type", that's just what she likes.
 
what happened to the days where people tried to see you for you? i have a question for all of you. and i want you to be COMPLETELY honest. no political correct answers. anonymous posting is turned on in case you fear judgment. lol. i will share my answer later...
  
Q: does physical attraction supersede all other attraction? can you be with someone you aren't physically attracted to?

12 comments:

Piph said...

Honestly, yes, I could. Matter of fact, if I wasn't messing with someone, this dude who I'm cool with would definitely be mine. I known him since high school. He was obese when I first met him, and throughout high school - which really didn't bother me. I haven't seen him for a while and he lost 90% of the weight. Now he's still kind of chubby in most places, but it doesn't bother me. His face isn't the best looking, but I can get behind all of that. I love his personality, which makes him look sexy to me.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I'm feeling you on this one Mr. Unpretentious. This is a complaint that I hear from a lot of black women, and being a black woman myself, it still pisses me off. He's short? Who gives a damn? What does that have to do with anything? You mean to tell me you would rather mess with a tall dude that treats you like shit, than a short one that gives you that "princess" treatment you claim to want so badly?

I agree with Piph. I may have preferences as far as looks go, but I wouldn't reject a guy based off looks if he had a great personality. I have had friends that weren't physically attractive to me, but they were funny as hell, or very sweet, which can increase the attractiveness in a person. On the other hand, fine guys who are assholes lose points in the looks department, in my opinion. I could go on and on, but this ain't my blog so I'll stop. Lol

Epitome said...

I don't date men based on how they look, or what they have, I date men based on how they make me feel. I try not to get caught up in the physical because that can fade...besides most guys who are ever so physically attractive to me end up being the biggest dicks.

stephanie said...

i was with my for almost three years and i was never physically attracted to him. these days i want someone beautiful, "my type" because i'm not looking for anything serious. i just wanna have fun. when the time come for me to start being serious again, looks won't supercede substance.

S Jones Aka Shirley said...

Sometimes being the "nice guy" isn't enough. Sureeeee in a perfect world all girls would go for the nice guy who is always there for them (and looks decent) but sometimes we tend to be too much into ourselves to even notice them. I would be with someone i wasn't physically attracted to but we wud have to click on some crazy level which would allow me not to overlook them....u know how blind girls are ....we might have a sweet, lovable guy in our face but sometimes we are distracted by sweet talkers with pretty faces....damn them

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

thank all of you for answering, and so fast...i'm gonna leave the question up for another day before i share my answer.

birdie said...

Physical attraction shouldn’t supersede all other attraction, but it is necessary. Replying completely on physical attraction will only limit your chances of meeting the right man. Off the bat my physical attraction is to a 6’1, 195 lbs, athletically sculpted chocolate man. The two men I’ve cared for the most in life did not fit into that box at all. One was had an athletic body, but was 2-3 inches shorter than me. The other was about an inch shorter and overweight. But they both had other aspects I found appealing, like smiles and charm that melted my heart.

sushiela said...

while you criticizing ol girl, if dude is tryna hook some girl he doesn't even KNOW by droppin $150 gift certificates on her, that makes him superficial as hell--on multiple levels.

as for me...
i think every human being has some attractive features. and the vast majority of human beings are very attractive.

what attracts me most to a person is the vibe i get from them & their personality...because if i'm attracted to that, then of course i'm going to notice & appreciate whatever your most appealing physical traits are.

Alee said...

Yes, I must be physically attracted to a man in order to date him.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Could I be with someone who I wasn't physically attracted to? My first response would be no BUT I was in a relationship with a guy who I wasn't attacted to in the beginning but he had a great personality which won me over in the end. In my opinion, I think that both men & women are guilty of not wanting to see further than what's in front of them. We are all allowed to have preferences. There's nothing wrong with that. But there ARE still some men who wouldn't give a woman that wasn't their "type" the time of day at first glance. She could be all that he's looking for in other areas but since she doesn't fit his criteria as far as looks go, she gets passed up. Yeah we all want someone to see us for the person we are inside but in a world that's driven mainly by who's skinnier than, whose ass is fatter than, whose abs are tighter and who looks the best with less....that would be too much like right. I prefer a man with a chocolate complexion but I wouldn't turn down a man who was light bright & damn near white. As long as the vibe is working, I'm good.

JStar said...

Physical attraction is the first thing that u base it off of in the begining...But that doesnt always mean the looks....Its a "connection" for me...The personality...I dated a guy who was "suspect" he embaressed me in public LMAO but he is a cool person to be around...We got along great...It may not only be looks that is a turn off...Maybe she just wasnt "feelin" his personality...Maybe he was corny...I have to be attracted to something, not always the looks....But I was married to a very ugly man and was with him 9 long years. His personality started to turn me off until the sight of him made me wanna throw up...But its more personality for me...

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

i'm sorry all...my answer is coming. haven't had a chance to really sit down and write it. but i haven't forgot lol.