Friday, September 3, 2010

manfive friday #53

to women there are a few "big steps" in a relationship.

  • girlfriend/boyfriend title
  • sex 
  • moving in together
  • getting engaged
  • getting married
  • etc..
somewhere in between there is another big step that sends "we're serious" signals to a woman's brain. that step is, planning a vacation together. for some odd reason women LOVE to idea of going on vacation with their dude. it's almost a "we're doing things together" happy dance type of thing. if you want to see a woman's eyes light up, mention wanting to go to some exotic location. but wait, tell her you want to go WITH HER. i will wait for you ladies who have passed out to wake back up from your pleasure thought induced seizure.

manfive friday #53 topic of the week: 5 things a woman must realize before going on vacation with her man...

#5: have a realistic idea of what level you're on...

if dude won't even drive to your house to pick you up because that's "too far", yall are not ready for a vacation together. if you've just started seeing each other and haven't started going on dates. it's a little premature to be thinking about getting on planes, trains and in automobiles. if it is a new relationship, don't think dude is going to take you to Jamaica. .set your sights on something inland. set your sights on something local but away from your usual spots (your/his place). have a realistic expectation. don't assume a guy is ready to jet away on an exotic adventure if he's given you no indication that's what he wants. don't assume because he says he'd like to go someplace that he was talking about with you or tomorrow. have a clear understanding before you start planning a trip of a lifetime for one.

maybe you're not at the vacation stage. maybe you're at the "he's just trickin'" stage. where he's jetting you off here and there, but it's not quite the vacation you we're hoping for. or yall are going to the hamptons every weekend to the point where it's no longer a vacation it's a hobby. if you've been there and done that. then move to the next step. plan a trip a little further away from home. spend a little more money. look for fun, interesting, new things to do. don't try to ball out like it's your honeymoon or your golden anniversary. just plan something nice based on the level you're on. if you don't know the level you're shouldn't be going on vacation with the person anyway...

#4: respect his wallet..

some of you ladies have defied the law of stinginess and actually go in financially on trips with your man. please skip to #3, because this is strictly for the stingy ladies.

okay scroogettes. .if you are planning a trip with your dude. and he is paying for everything (which i don't disagree with...since technically it's a date. and i believe dudes should pay for everything date related) respect his money. don't do "sky-is-the limit" shit unless he gives you free range to. first class flights, suites, beach cabanas, etc..are all nice. but if dude is struggling to pay his rent, car payment, utilities, car loans...take it easy on his wallet. shit..even if he's rolling in cash, don't spend a man's money for him. that is a big pet peeve of mine. i hate when women spend my money for me. i hate when they take it upon themselves to tell me what they want, when they would never spend their own money for it. if all you fly is first class..then i'ma keep you first class baby. if you fly with 3 connections and only when airtran has the $79 special you better hop your ass on this coach flight in a dress & some heels and act you got some sense. free is free...sit back & enjoy. all the ladies who do have to put something on it would appreciate a man who'd throw a vacation in the bag...

#3: this is a vacation for both of you..

women have the habit of taking over shit and making it about them. going on vacation means, "all new everything". it means "diet to get in that bikini". it means spend days/weeks/months looking for the perfect spot, perfect hotel, things to do..etc. sometimes it becomes "YOUR" vacation. not "OUR" vacation. the lines of "we're going as a couple to be together" get blurred..and all you focus on is the actual details. don't lose focus on what the trip is about. it's about being together & doing new things as a couple. a change of scenery. relaxing..having fun. you stressing out about things before. you being anal about shit while we're there is not relaxing or fun. try to pick a location that both of you will enjoy. don't go for "my dream vacation" as if this is your last and only chance to have it. hopefully you'll have plenty of future trips together. if you start taking over this one, then you probably wont...

#2: sex is a must..

unless you're a virgin. and in that case you probably wouldn't be sharing a room/bed/life with dude if yall haven't gotten to the "sex" part of your relationship you can go jump out a window with your trip wanting ass. not to sound sexist, chauvinistic, barbaric, ignorant, whatever you want to call me...if you aren't planning on having sex there is really no reason to go on no trip with a dude. go with your girlfriends. go with your parents. go with your dog or some shit. but don't waste a dudes time or money. guys go on trips with women for sex in different places. that's the highlight of the trip for us. the sex.

when you get off the plane:

women think: "look at all the palm's beautiful. i can't wait to see the rest of the island"
men think: "i can't wait to get to the hotel"

when you get to the hotel:

women think: "wow the hotel is so pretty! look at the view.."
men think: "this a nice bed...when are we having sex? that is a nice view , wonder if the balcony is stable enough for us to have sex on it"

after a long day of tourism:

women think: "that was wonderful. i had the best time of my life. i love him so much. we better get some sleep, early morning tomorrow".
men think: "ok..i did all that is time for the good part. flexxxx time to have sexxxxx"

while laying on the beach:

women think: "the water is so blue, maybe we can go snorkeling"
men think: "does saltwater stop pregnancy? or do i still need to wear a condom..will the salt water break the condom..decisions decisions"

back on the plane:

women think: "that was great...i can't wait to do it again.."
men think: "i wonder if she'll let me join the mile high club...where's that blanket?"

#1: don't jump to conclusions..

a vacation does not lead to marriage. we don't go away together and come back husband and wife. just because it's a step doesn't make it as big of a step as you may feel it is. a lot of times women think that it takes a lot for a guy to go away with her. or that he has to really be feeling her. i admit, for some it is a "we have to go to that point" thing. but for other's going some place with you is as easy as packing a bag, jumping on a plane and going.

just like you can't assume a man is ready to go on vacation with you. don't assume just because he does, he's ready for other things. trips do not equal progressing in a relationship. a lot of times, it can show you where you are in the relationship. you can go and have an awful time with someone who really isn't into you. you could go and find out dude only brought $59.32 with him for the entire week. it could just be about impressing you, not actually spending time with you. you can't always equate things a guy is doing for you as him caring. have a good time, enjoy yourself. but don't get your hopes up that your dream vacation will lead to your dream life together. life is NOT a vacation. there is no room service, housekeeping, long days of sleeping and lounging after you get home. you gotta go back to work on monday and his ass is still gonna be laying on your couch, playing xbox, scratching his nuts when you get home. don't your eyes. a vacation is just a vacation. enjoy at your own


About Mrs Jaye said...

luv it

Anonymous said...

you can't always equate things a guy is doing for you as him caring. <<< one of my favorite lines. Several others, of course but I didn't feel like copying and pasting all of it lol

Damn I love it. I wish every woman in the world followed your blog...and sadly to say I wish a majority of them were black women. We gotta do better ...

JStar said...

I agree with every word here!

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@mrs jaye: thank you kindly..

@chymere: thank you. i appreciate it. we all gotta do better. all of us. all races..all genders..all of us..

@jstar: thank you. i feel like i have the endorsement i need to run for president. lol.

Anonymous said...

"that was wonderful. i had the best time of my life. i love him so much. we better get some sleep, early morning tomorrow".


Should I throw up now or later? Im soooooo not that type of girl.

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@i'm alee: you can throw up later. like when you get to a i'd love to say i'm exaggerating, but there are really women who get like that.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Mannnnn sex is like the first thing I think about if I'm planning a trip with a dude....don't you dare judge me. LOL...I wonder if this place has glass they have security outside all the time? Hey...what's behind there...can we fit?