Friday, April 23, 2010

manfive friday #40 ever said some shit you wish you could take back? like once it left your lips you were sitting there like, "shit, shit, shit....."

this week's manfive friday topic of the week: 5 things a woman could say or do that we will never forget/forgive.

as men we've learned there are just some things you don't/can't say to a woman. we've learned the art of keeping the "inside thoughts" to ourselves. if you ask us if we think you're fat. or if we think what you just said was stupid. we know not to comment. we enforce our right to remain silent. you ladies....not so much. yall have the bad habit of saying what's on your mind, first. thinking about it, last. there are a lot of things you can say/do & take back...but there are a few you can't. five things that can pretty much guarantee he'll never forget and maybe never forgive you for are...

#5: bruising our ego. . .

something i have to say about women. yall know how to hurt us. yall know how to drive that knife in, turn it, turn it again, turn it some more, push it deeper, pull it out, clean it off, and jab that shit right back in. knowing you possess power like this, would make you think you'd be responsible with it. yea, fucking right. let me clue you ladies in on a few things that a man will never forgive you for:

-call a man a bitch or punk
-talk about his dick
-suggest he "isn't man enough"...

first. if you call a dude a bitch. even out of frustration or anger. he will never get over that shit. it's like telling him he sucks dick & likes it. seriously. it's so absurd that a guy doesn't even think it's possible you'd ever say it to him. so when you do say it..he's standing there like "WTF" and trying his hardest not to have a chris brown moment. and don't smirk or say that shit again. if it slips, just act like you ain't said it and keep it moving. cause i swear you gonna have to make up for that shit if he stay with you.

second. unless you saying you want it, like it, need it, or it's the best shit in the world. don't talk about a dude's dick. there are some of us who get positive compliments. and other's who get not so positive complaints. you wanna piss a dude off..tell him his dick ain't good. whether it's too small. too skinny. uncut. can't stroke it. bust too fast. last too long. it's too big. you don't think about it. your ex's was better. whatever it is you got to say that isn't positive. is a no-no. don't do that shit. that's about our only body part we care about.

last. do not insult his manhood. i know it's easy. it's easy to act like we can't provide, take care of, or fix something. you ladies are masters at throwing that in our face when something goes wrong. that's the downside to being the one in the "lead" that it's easy to point a finger when shit doesn't go right. yes, there are times where a man may fail. he may be wrong or he could have handled the situation better. but when you point it out in a demeaning way it kills a ydude. because guess what, it may be true. and the truth hurts. not knowing how to do something is equivalent to failing to us. letting you down, especially if "not letting you down" is important to us is almost worst than death. that's why a lot of dudes choose to do shiesty shit instead of facing you and admitting they can't take care of you or need help.

i'm not suggesting you lie to protect dudes ego. i'm just saying, watch how you comment about these areas. these are our sensitive areas. these are the areas where the sting will be felt the most. and yanno what happens to bees when they sting you?..they die. that's what will happen to your relationship.

#4: your ex

we aren't gonna forget anything you tell us about your ex. almost like you can tell us everything we've said about ours word for word. just because we don't harp on it, bring it up, or act insecure about it..we don't forget. if you tell me you were into some freaky shit with me. when you tell me "i don't do that...". i'm gonna say, "no, you just don't do that shit with me". if you go hard on me about being friends with my ex...i'm gonna remember that shit. so when you wanna meet him for lunch because he's in town. or he's still your friend on facebook. or he's sending you text or tweets here an there. that shit is NOT gonna be cool.

don't let the smooth act fool you. we can spot fuckery too, but men don't get jealous. we get single. you telling us about a dude checking on you, isn't gonna make us jealous. it's going to make us mad. if you tell me your ex sent you flowers. i'm going to be like, "so what". if you tell me your ex sent you flowers and you're acting like those are the best flowers in the world. that's when it's going to be a problem. if you hint or confess you still have feelings for dude. you can never have anything to do with him again. if you ever tell me he was better than me at something, you can never expect me to forget that. don't compare apples & oranges. if we're so different, he's not an don't act like we're in the same category.

#3: talk about his family or friends...

among the few things sacred to a man, you wanna really fuck it up. talk about his family. call his mama crazy. call his kids ugly. tell him his friends are losers. you might as well just add, "i don't wanna be with you" after those comments. you'd think that this would be a given, but no you ladies always try to push the envelope. always trying to find a way to hurt or cut a little deeper. no matter if it's true or not. because shit..his mama may be crazy. his kids could be gremlins. and his friends may be scrubs. nevertheless, it's not something you say if you plan on being around for a while. because even after you're cool again..he's not gonna be feeling that. he's gonna stop having you around his friends. he's gonna tell his mama you think she's crazy. he's gonna deny you some of his ugly kids, since you think they so ugly and all. talking about the people closest to him isn't going to win you any points. so bite your tongue as much as possible. and choose your words carefully. you don't have say nice things, but you also don't have to say bad things.

#2: cheat on him...physically or emotionally. . .

you ladies are built differently from us. some of you can get over a guy cheating on, especially if it meant nothing. we are NOT built like that. i mean think about it like this. we don't like you sleeping with anyone cept us. meaning even when you weren't with us...we didn't like that shit. so imagine how we feel when you are with us.

physically cheating on us is hurtful because it makes us feel inadequate. it makes us feel like you wanted someone else. for whatever reason. women aren't supposed to be able to cheat (yea it sounds stupid, but that's how we think). so you going out your way to cheat on us is another slap in the face. but couple that with emotional cheating. getting close to another dude even if you're not getting poked bothers us too. one of the biggest qualities we look to women for is loyalty. even if dude is cheating on you, he still expects you to be faithful. that's what we look towards you for. once we've lost you...we've lost you. that's another difference. women think they can pull a man back. fix the relationship. move on & make it better. men are the opposite. as soon as you've broken it, it's broken. we don't want you. we don't want to fix it. it's like made your choice. fuck you. you cheat on us, we can't even see nothing else. we can't even look at you the same. it's not something we'll forget. or easily forgive. not saying it's NOT possible. just saying it's a slim to none chance you'll still have a healthy relationship after you cheat.

#1: insult something he can't change/help...

what's the old saying, "if you can't say nothing nice, you shouldn't say anything at all...". sometimes you ladies get diarrhea of the mouth. you start talking and something comes out that you didn't expect or intend to say. something that if you could explain maybe you could make it better. but by the time you've said have NO MORE ROOM for explanation. the worst thing you can do is insult something he can't change. whether you tell him he's not your type. you're not attracted to him. you don't love him. you can't stand him. whatever it is, if it's something he can't change, you'll never convince him you didn't mean it. you can be honest. you can encourage him to change things about himself you don't like that can be changed. but the moment you say it's something about him that you don't like that he can't's over.

he'll never let you have that back. and it seems petty. but who doesn't do that shit? just because we're men don't mean you can't hurt our feelings. doesn't mean we don't get insecure. just means we hide it better. which means you'll never really know how much it bothers us until we are pissed beyond belief. then it may be too late.


Anonymous said...

Can't say I've ever been guilty of any of these. I've come CLOSE, but never gone all the way through with it

Anonymous said...

I totally understand where you are coming from but sometimes when a man pisses you off, you just have to go below the belt to get back at him. I know it sounds childish but sometimes you want someone to feel as much pain as they are making you feel. Yes, telling your guy he isn't man enough is low and borderline scarring but some shit you guys do scars us as well. Sometimes, we are just trying to get even. :s

Epitome said...

**Steps forward**

I'm guilty of all of these. Never called a man a bitch/punk or talked about his dick in a negative connotation, but all the others...yep sure have.

I blame it on, 1, not having a healthy relationship to base my own off of, my mother (to this day) calls my father a bitch ass bitch...yeah. And 2, being involved in a deep relationship so "young" 20 I had a family and I didn't really know myself much less how to communicate effectively. But I would never ever make any of these mistakes again, lesson learned and learned well.

sunshinestar110 said...

*raises hand* I have done all of those..*cover eyes* I'm kind of quick with the tongue so bitch has left my mouth once or twice of course I didn't have the nerve to repeat myself but i knew it it him hard when i said it. Most of those things I've done out of anger and couldn't find any other way to hurt him so i put all of those to use. I see now that if the tables were turned and he said or did those things to me i would have fought his him. but you live and you learn....*sigh* you know it wouldn't be right unless i did that!!

Beyond Danielle said...

well now I know that it's time to go because I've done a lil of all 5, so he most hate me.

Anonymous said...

I can honestly say I've never done any of those things to a boyfriend. Even when I was upset. Now my sperm donor is all types of bitches and now when we were together I never called him out of his name. But for me there are just ways to behave in a relationship. And no matter what that's how I conduct myself. I require the same from a partner.

jazzyjaz said...

Guilty as charged!! I have done all of those things minus calling him a bitch. i think we are all guilty of them at one time or another even if don't think you have committed the crime. Its about learning something from the experience.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@hightopsandpearls: great!..please keep a handle on your words. i talk about chicks saying the wrong thing, but it's always a bad situation when ANYONE says the wrong thing lol. it's very hard to take things back.

@f and m: i agree. people always want to get you back. but i think men cut deeper with actions. and women cut deeper with words.

@epitome: i knew you'd be guitly. lol. but shit ppl make mistakes. ppl fall into things due to inexperience and the examples they have. not saying this shit is the end all of your life. just the particular dude you're dealing with. everyone says something they shouldn't. it's knowing how to stop yourself and how to rectify it after you've done it that makes the difference.

@sunshinestar110: i knew you'd be guilty too. lol. always gotta live and learn. i try to always think of things, like.."if it were me, how would i feel". i tell my chick constantly..our rules are our rules. meaning. if you don't want me doing something, you shouldn't be doing it. same for talking out the side of your mouth. if you can talk out the side of your mouth to me..then i should be able to return that non favor.

@beyond danielle: it's not time to go, just time to stop. @stopitdanielle and come back to seriously.

@luvlymskrissy: well good. but i disagree..respect should be offered across the board. i may speak crazy about someone to everyone else. but when i'm in their face..i try to show them the most respect possible. it's hard and a lot of times i may slip, but i feel like in order to gain it you have to give it. being respectful doesn't equal being nice. you don't have to be nice. just don't have to call them a bitch. get what i'm saying?

@jazzyjaz: it's always about learning. everything is a learning experience. so, you have one dude that think you evil as hell. all the dudes of your past & in your life don't have to think that. lol correct that shit.

Anonymous said...

1st let me say that my previous comment reads like I'm retarded. I blame my cell for thinking it knows what I should be typing instead of leaving the words I actually typed! Ugh!

Anyway what I was saying is while my sperm donor and I were together now matter how I felt about him at the moment I never resorted to name calling. It wasn't until after we weren't together anymore that he became all sorts of bitches ( iblogged about that already on my own blog) I just believe that name calling has no place in relationships ( not aloud at least lol). is that what u disagree with?