Friday, December 25, 2009

ManFive Friday #23

in keeping in the holiday spirit this week's ManFive topic of the week is: how do you know your man is trying to avoid giving you a gift on christmas?

merry christmas all! happy Jesus day! happy holidays! whatever it is you want to refer to it as...just have a good one.

we all know it's not really about the gifts. no matter what reason you're celebrating the holiday it's always about the love & appreciation towards others. so yanno when you've gone out, spent your little check on that Rocawear jacket he wanted. bought him those "J's" he kept talking about. put that playstation, xbox, or wii console on credit card. it's not that you're looking for him to do the same. you just expect that he'll think about you enough to get you a gift as well. even if he makes you something (and yes it may seem tacky to some of you), as long as it's from the heart he can always come up with a gift for you. and if he doesn't..then he's just not that into you. some of you know, how missing.in.action some of these guys get. here are five ways guys try to get out of getting you a christmas gift:


#5: he tells you he's a Jehovah's witness...


yet you've been with him every saturday for the past few months and he's never been out witnessing. and we all know Jehovah's witnesses do not waver in their witnessing. big clue, he's lying...he celebrates his birthday, he wears a cross pendent, he thinks no one is home when he rings your doorbell when there is 4 cars in the driveway & your little brother keeps on pulling the mini blinds back. yea..he's no witness. he's just someone who wants to convert for the sake of saving money. heathen..

#4: his phone mysteriously breaks...


now all day thursday yall were talking on the phone. now all of sudden his phone is going straight to voicemail. you've been calling, no luck. wow, how did that happen. you call his house phone (if he has a house phone) the line is busy..hmm. what's going on? you come through he's not home. can't reach him till saturday. "my phone was broke...don't know what happened". if you believe that shit, i got a beach house in the north pole i wanna sell you. it's right next to santa's house.

#3: he reminds you it's a recession...

i mean aye, it's been a rough year. it's all over the news so he's not making it up. but when he shows up with his new J's on, that new fitted, or tells you he just bought a playstation game... you should question how hard he's been hit. yes, it is hard out there for a pimp..but if he's buying shit like that he can swing a gift or two your way. it's not about the money spent, just the thought. and if the thought is all on him and not on you..he's needs a much better excuse than "it's a recession"..


#2: wants to stay friends...


now you've been talking to this dude for a while now. everything is going great, you're really feeling each other. you're in that relationship limbo where you really don't know what you are to each other. you've just spent thanksgiving together, even met some of his family. you decide to have that talk with him, and he makes it clear that yall aren't ready. huh?..you're a little confused. don't be. you have tried to form a commitment in the christmas zone. a man will not "boo" you up during the month of december. i know, yall want a winter "boo", but he knows what is entailed with being your boyfriend. even if he has to get you something as your "friend", it is NOT the same as being your boyfriend. got to snag him before thanksgiving. after black friday..he's on to you ladies.

#1: he breaks up with you...

when i was in middle school/high school all my friends used to breakup with their girlfriend right before christmas, valentine's day, or their birthday and get back with them after. it's the "we aren't together" defense. and he'll dare you to challenge it. so come december 20th, because this gives him a few days before he's committed to the "i already got your gift" sympathy jargon, he decides to pick a fight with you. the size of the fight depends on whether he's just cheap or a jerk. if he's just cheap it will be a small fight so yall can "work it out" shortly after christmas just in time for new years eve. but if he's a jerk, he'll cause a big dramatic fight to just start the new year off single. either way if he pulls either one leave his ass alone, getting someone you love a gift isn't hard. if he goes through all that trouble to not get you one..it should speak volumes.

#tip ladies: in order to foil this plan, just be real nice. whatever his ass does, just roll with it. he'll just be sitting there like "SHIT!.."

8 comments:

Mel said...

#2 happened to me 3 years ago. I had the trifecta: birthday, Christmas & graduation. Dude got ghost REAL quick!

~Sheila~ said...

I've had a few times through out our marriage that Angel hasn't gotten me anything for any occasion and he's seen the hurt in my eyes and he's felt how cold his side of the bed is when he gets in it. It's taken about 10 years but I think he's finally getting the idea (new Christmas blog post).
Merry Christmas!!!

100K said...

LOL

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

When NOT keeping it real goes wrong! I won't ask how old are the guys who still do this because I'm sure that supposed GROWN ones still partake in this ritual. Just be honest man!!!

Hater Von G said...

Oh crap, I think I'm just going to be a lesbian.

sunshinestar110 said...

lol @ #1 i use to that back in the day!!! and i sure nuff thought about using #2 a time or two!!

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@mel: aww damn i'm sorry. dudes be on some stupid dumb shit sometimes. hope you started picking them better.

@sheila: that's cool. sometimes you get too comfortable. i know my parents don't really get each other stuff. it's more of.."well i'll put up this light i've been promising.." gift giving has gotten old. they stop giving me shit the other year and i was heartbroken lol. my mom used to buy me trinkets..no such luck anymore. but they are getting back into it now cause of my son. christmas is about the kids but adults like one here & there sometimes too.

@100K: it's funny cause you've committed at least 3 of these in the past week. it's okay bro..no judgements lol

@starrla monae:true, but my uncle is 49 and i'm 100% sure he's pulled this shit on at least one of his 12 girlfriends, if not all of them. it's not about age, it's more about maturity. he is 49, yet in common sense years he's only 10 (if that).

@hater von g: being a lesbian will only solve that problem. you'll be creating a whole new one lol. just saying.

@sunshinestar110: *smh* @ you. ought to be ashamed of yourself.

@

MzAuNatural-Beauty said...

Hmmm, I wish a mofo would.. wish he would... that's sooo trifling! lol