Friday, June 19, 2009

ManFive Friday #2

round #2. still trying to get the hang of this, so hopefully i'll be improving on the readability and maybe making more sense.

week's two topic is: why can man dish it, but can't handle it being served? (donated topic by: beyond danielle, thanks!)

so this week i'll try to answer only questions related to this topic and then give you a man guage at the end. onto question #1...

1. Why can a man ask you where you've been, answer your phone, tell you when to be home..but when countered with the same question scoff in your face?

manfive answer:--> because men like to feel in control. in the back of their mind, it's not that they think your cheating. it's the fact they don't like not knowing where you are. it's like knowing your keys are in your pocket, just one pat away. then all of a sudden you've misplaced them. and you're like..."WTF are my keys?" not to compare women to keys, but i'm's a vital part of your day. things go wrong, "where my keys?". need to go, "where's my keys?"

switch it up and ask dude where he's been..that's a shit storm waiting to happen. it's because we aren't the "keys". we are the "car". true, we need yall to get started, but yall know "sometimes" you can start a car w/o keys. you asking where he is like your asking where he parked the car. it's just annoying as fuck.

2. Why does a man expect for a woman to cook, clean, take care of the kids when she's sick...but when countered with the same ailments he is out for the count?

manfive answer:--> blame it on GREAT mothers. men are predisposed to getting treated like kings when they are sick. nevermind their mom was sick too but still got up with them at night. cooked and cleaned and made sure everything was fine. not to mention men only play sick when it's not that serious. whenever it's really serious..we still go to work. we still wanna go fishing, bowling, play ball, whatever. ­

women on the other hand. i give it to yall..for your kids & your man yall will brave all sickness like champs. but let yall period come on. i'm not in any way taking away from your monthly visitor. but you'd think that bitch took out a battleing ram with ninja razors and cut the fuck out of yall. i think because we don't feel your pain we don't get how every month you should get a free pass to bitch as us & stop doing your daily super women task.

3. Why can a man say whatever he want about your appearance, your role as his "woman", what he does & doesn't like about you...but when countered with the same get pissed off?

manfive answer:--> because men are stupid. first and foremost, a dude talking about you should be an indication that you shouldn't be fucking with them dude is mr., and more than likley just insecure himself.

but if it's just little loving jabs here &'s only because as men we don't see the seriousiness behind image. most times we don't care about ours, so when we say things it's not to kill your self esteem it's cause we were either gonna talk about being hungry or how your ass looks like it got just a tad bit bigger since yesterday.

4. Why can a man tell you how to deal with your male friends, but don't want you to say shit about his female friends?

manfive answer:--> i actually think this question is more skewed the other way. as men we aren't allowed to have female friends. any friend w/o a dick is someone we could possibly fuck in the eyes of women. so i'll start off this answer with the male reason first. men try to justify their relationships to women. they know how jealous you get. they know how untrusting you are. so they try to let you know who this chick is. they try to let you know the history and make you comfortable with the friendship. so when you question us about a chick we've pretty much given you a blood sample, ss#, current & passed addresses we're like WTF?

back to chicks with male friends. as men we know how to sniff bullshit. we know when your gay friend ain't really gay. yea, we call him gay too..but that ninja will bisect his ass the first drunken night he gets. we also know these childhood friends who've been stuck in the "friend zone" who've been waiting their time to get with you..we see them too. you don't see it, but we see it! so when he wants to meet you for lunch every week...we're like WTF?

5. Why will a man tell you what you need to be doing around the house, but when it comes time for the trash to be taken out, grass to be mowed, something to be fixed he's sleep surrounded by empty beer bottles?

manfive answer:--> that's simple who likes to work? it's always easier to tell somebody else what needs to be done, then to do what you need to be doing. as men we are preconditioned to want everything nice & ordered. however we don't want to be the person who does that. so how do things get "nice"? you know the "nice fairy" gets up at 6am starts cleaning, washing, cooking, taking care of the kids..we wake up and it's done. if we choose to believe it was the "nice fairy" and not gonna spoil our delusion? it's like telling a kid santa claus isn't real!

as for us, there is no excuse for dudes who are just laying around the house doing nothing all day. but for dudes with jobs, we come home and want a break. we don't wanna think about how that shelf has been leaning for 2 months. we are good with stepping over the buckle in the floor. the garage does need to be cleaned out, but we aren't having any garage parties soon. besides isn't that why we have kids?..

<----ManFive Gauge---->

Sorry Ninja Says: "it's not about me & what i do...."

Real Man Says: "i know i'm not perfect, in fact sometimes i'm selfish."


~Sheila~ said...

This was a good one.

I have been going through some of those throughout the years and it seems like Angel was always very selfish.
Then,when I was having a hard time (Sad Day post) he came through for me.

He wanted to go to the beach and he wanted me to go with him because he was going to go fishing with his cousin. I was still crying and I told him I didn't want to go because I wasn't going to be able to pretend to be happy. He got mad and then decided he was going to stay. Then a short time afterward he apologized and hugged me and told me that he was sorry. He knows I'm upset and he was just being selfish. He went and started folding all of the laundry and said he knows he needs to help me around the house.

Hopefully some guys will recognize (at some time in their lives) when they are being selfish.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

yea...selfish is as selfish does.