Friday, June 12, 2009

ManFive Friday #1

ManFive Friday, is the day where i'm officially giving you ladies answers to five questions relating to men that boggles the female mind. no you don't need to buy any self-help books, don't have to frequent "why do men..." google search, don't have to sit & stew in your own frustration anymore. each friday i'm going to give you free advice, free admission, & no holds bar insight into the male brain. if there is anything specific you want answered feel free to hit me at: studiohijacker @ gmail {dot} com. hopefully you realize i spaced it & {} it to reduce spam. if you don't figure it out, it's probably better you didn't hit me up anyway, because i already know your question is stupid.

the way it'll work is, there is a question. then there is a general reason to why men feel this way. followed by a stupid man answer & a real man answer. this is a "man gauge" i'm giving you ladies.

this week topic: what men do, want, & expect from women.

Question#1. why do men expect women to forgive them for everything?

{manfive response:} men like to be forgiven. it makes you feel like there is some sort of understanding. men like to be understood. whether sports, techincal support, opinions, etc. we like to know that you have an understanding where we are coming from. so when we do something, and we do say sorry, we want to know that you understood what we did, why we did it, and it won't come back up. that can only be achieved if we are forgiven. also because God told you to. i'm saying you trying to question his authority? he says, forgive but nothing about excusing it. if you're with a man who loves you, does right by you & made a imperfect move then forgive him. make him show you he's sincere, afterall that's the only way God forgives. so why would you be more forgiving than God? thing is you're not & can't. you aren't actually forgiving him. you're still mad but you're now in the process of letting him slide through you're life like he's swag surfing. first part of forgiving is accountability. if a person is not held accountable, does not accept accountability, or is a repeat offender..send him on his way. he'll never respect you enough to stop doing it, if you don't let him know it's not ok. in this case

test your man on the "man gauge"....

{sorry ninja says:} i keep you laced in the freshest shit. i take care of you & "your", "mine", "our" kids. "you know i love you girl.....she ain't mean nothing".

--->downside to this response: those are all things he should do anyway. don't let a brother make you think just because he's taking care of his responsibilities he shouldn't be held accountable.

{real man says:} this is what i did. this is why i'm sorry. here is why you should forgive me.

Question#2. why are mama's boys either your dream come true or your nightmare?

{manfive response:} everything depends on the mama. women are a vital part of a man's life. i teased with an earlier post, "why men need women..". but seriously the bond between a child & their mother is a powerful thing. there are great mama's boys & there are awful mama's boys. there is also a catagory that is unknown...that is the "coddled" group. guys in the "coddled" group are NOT mama's boys. i repeat, they are NOT mama's boys. most times they don't even like their mama. they don't appreciate her, they are the one's who stay out in the street, bring drugs & hoes in their mama's house, stay in & out of jail. you can "love" someone without respecting them. you can't be a mama's boy if your don't respect your mama. so spray them with invisible spray.

the good mama's boys are usually taught by their mother how to treat women. if not a direct lesson, it's the way she conducts herself around other men. meaning, if she got 4 boyfriends and they all cheating, beating, & using her she is teaching her son how to treat women he encounter. i believe in personal responsibility, which would mean these men should then use their common sense and learn from that how NOT to treat women..but if they are a mama's boy more than likly they will be a victim of that awful cycle. which is how mama's boys go wrong. this is how they become "nightmares". because you now have a guy who has been used to seeing his mama persevere from bad treatment, sometimes leaving the impression that "it's okay" to treat women that way. you also have the "i want to marry my mama" mama's boys who want you to be a carbon copy of their mom. they honestly want to marry their actual mom, but sex with her would be kinda yucky..most times it means you'd have to be under his mom's thumb. they are the one's who if their mama don't like you, it's a wrap. they are the one's who you get in a fight they say one thing, then 15 minutes of being in the room with the door closed they come out with a whole other point of view..and you're standing there like who the fuck just tag teamed you in this argument?

the other type of mama's boy is the kind that had a positive female presence in his life. she taught you how to treat women, how not to treat women, and what you should do for a woman. they usually listen to their mama because they respect her opinion, but they aren't binded by her approval. the right kind of mother will teach you to be a man & respect you as a man. meaning, she will trust your judgement, respect your house, & respect whoever you choose to be with. she's the mama that will never make you feel uncomfortable. she's the one who will tell her son, when he needs to do better by you. she's the one you can talk to & although you know she's gonna support him at the end of the day she'll do her best to console you. those types of mama's are the one's who make boys that grow into men and love & respect their women. i know cause i'm one.

test your man on the "man gauge"....

{sorry ninja says:} "where your money? bitch my mama said ain't no ninja do shit for her when we was growing up. them kids don't need no money you just want some money to get your hair done. get to fuck outta here.."

--->translation: i gave my mama all my money this week. i think it takes $20 to take care of 3 kids/month. so i'll be damn if you take care of them by yourself and use the change to get your weave fixed. asking me for some

{real man says:} "i want you to meet my mom..." and then he introduces you as the other very important woman in his life.

Question#3. why won't your man commit, do you right or marry you?

{manfive response:} men are gonna treat you the way you let them treat you. if you walk into the relationship and everything is "all fun", then just because it's be 3 -7 years why do you think he's grown with you? growth is gradual it's also noticable. you can tell when a man is changing his habits. you can tell when a man is looking for something different. you can also tell when your man still acts 21 and he's 41. is there something wrong with you? most times not. yet, in your relationship what are you allowing? the old saying, "he's already getting the milk, why buy the cow?". it's his failure to realize that with the cow, milk is plenty. the milk, by itself will spoil & run out. if you are doing everything in your power to do right by your man, make sure he's returning the favor. because as long as the milk is good, he's gonna be sucking on that tit (pun intended). as long as you allow him to cheat, not take you anywhere, lie, "stay single", "only get at you when you trying to give him some.." he's not gonna realize that to get you have to give. if you lie or cheat, you're not coming home. if you don't take her no where, she's gone w/ her girls. if you just want to date, she lets you go find a girl who "just wants to date". women have power in relationships. a lot more than yall realize. but yall are like luke skywalker. yall don't know how or when to use the "force". men are born with the "force". we play those jedi mind tricks on your ass. and we make you think there is no other option but to deal with it. (i use "we" loosley because of course i don't mean the answer to all three things is..."because you allow us not to do it..."

test your man on the "man gauge"....

{sorry ninja says:} "i'd marry you if you got your mind right..."

--->translation: as long as i make it think it's you, you won't come at me like it's me.

{real man says:} "i really want to have more with you, but i'm not ready".

--->real talk: it may not be what you want to hear, but at least he's being honest & telling you up front. it gives you the option to look for someone who is "ready".

Question#4. why do men date dumb needy chicks?

{manfive response:} simple, because dumb needy chicks need us. women these days are too independent. and yes, men say they want an independant woman. they want a chick with their own shit, can pay their own bills, etc.. yet with independence has come selfishness & abandonment of traditional roles. not saying this is true of all of you. just saying that since women don't "need men" for so many things..the roles men play in your life have changed. it's actually different situations.

#1 they don't let you be the man.

unfortunately these days women don't know what men are supposed to do, because most times they have to do it themsleves.

#2 they aren't impressed by nothing

if women can buy gucci shoes & prada bags...the coach bag you copping at macy's ain't gonna impress her much.

#3 given up hope, that a man would do anything for them

worst of the worst...decides a life alone & dating is the best life for them

#4 selfish selfish selfish

they are so used to things their way, when they want it, how they want it. they are no longer willing to give in on anything

needy dumb chicks...are completely opposite. they let you be the man, think that coach bag goes great with their baby phat, need you to "complete" them, and will pretty much let you do whatever you want, whenever you want. and will sometimes fund those endeavors.

test your man on the "man gauge"....

{sorry ninja says:} yea she dumb, she don't say much but she gives me head all night & cooked my breakfast this morning..

{real man says:} yea she dumb, she don't say much but she gives me head all night & cooked my breakfast this morning..

--->real talk: this one is actually the same response. universally we all love dumb chicks for the same reason...

Question#5. what do men expect you to know before they marry you?

{manfive response:} EVERYTHING! we want you to know how to cook, how to clean, how to be a great wife, a great mother, how throw that thing on us, how to back that thang up on us, how to turn that thang sideways on us (yall processing that right?...). as men it's unfair, but we want to know what we're getting into. i'm saying...

we go to the car dealership and get the car we want w/ the features we want.
we go the mall, store & buy exactly what we walked in there for
we order the same thing for lunch for 17 years, the same way

we go out and get what we want. if we see those qualities we want to marry you. women are so different. yall don't take things at face value . like to try to "change us". we don't really have time to mold a chick or wait for her to acquire the necessary skills. that's why catch at dude 28 -35 and he is ready to marry your ass off first date. that's when to do it ladies. a man is ready and if you show him you can be that woman he will marry you w/o any problem. just gotta show him that you are that one because there's not really a return policy. well there is a return feature "divorce", but who wants that?

test your man on the "man gauge"....

{sorry ninja says:} "i want a woman who can cook, clean, stay home with the kids, & still work a 40hr a week job...oh & keep me in jordans.."

{real man says:} "i want a woman who can take care of me, the way i plan to take care of her..."

tune in next friday to catch Manfive week #2..

1 comment:

~Sheila~ said...

Thanks for pointing all of that out. Judging by this info, I think I am doing pretty good in the way I am raising my boys.
They already have most of those good characteristics. Let's just hope that as they grow older, some hoochie doesn't come along and break their hearts and break their spirits so that they turn on women...(I guess I have to say it...or in Dom's case..or guys) but that they continue to respect women throughout life.