Monday, February 22, 2010

migraine monday meltdowns. . .

if there is one thing you should be learning about me, i love creating days..phrases...hashtags, etc.

this is NOT gonna be a weekly thing. i know how i say that then yall hit me up on twitter like.."where is #migraine monday meltdowns..." *evil stare* @drrarepearl83.

migraine monday meltdowns is a courtesy tip for you ladies how to prevent your dude, friend, brother, father, etc...from melting down on monday.

today's tip: be prepared to swallow the honesty pill

something we appreciate as men is straightforwardness. we want you to get to the point and just say what you gotta say. we also want to know if you have a problem, issue, concern. . . like some time around the time you actually have it. so if you got something to say...say it. that being said. something i think that is hard for women is to just tell us the truth. maybe it's a protect our feelings, protect our ego, or "i'm just afraid of you.." thing. but for some reason women don't like to tell you the truth, unless it has to do with something we've done wrong, you want to hurt us intentionally, or you're just fed up. anything else, it's like a skating rink because yall asses are just skating around.

be big girls, like you swallow those big 800mg motrin at that time of the month. those big ass prenatal vitamins. birth control pills, plan b, antibiotics, etc... swallow the honesty pill. just say what you're feeling, but learn how to accept the reaction that comes with it. yea he might become mad. yea he may overreact or not understand. yes, he might need reasons, examples, an explanation. yea he may become defensive. but just like anything else, just say it because it needs to be said. if you don't like how he dresses, looks, dances, drives, etc..just say it. i know you're thinking, "what good will it do?". and yea, sometimes it's good to use tact, but if you never say anything about something bothering you it begins to be your problem..not his. so if you never tell him his favorite shirt he never washes, sleeps in most nights, and wears every time yall go out needs to go in the trash. that's your problem, not his. if he gives you pecks and you prefer long passion filled kisses. that's your problem, not his. if he dances like elaine from seinfield and embarrasses the hell out of you at the christmas party, your wedding, your kid's b-day parties. that's your fault, not his. if you don't tell him, he doesn't care, know, and won't alter it. we aren't mind readers. we won't correct or change things that don't seem wrong to us. we also aren't MAN-nequins, we do have feelings. you can hurt them. so when you swallow and take your honesty pill..remember we have to swallow & take our "hurt feelings" pill and it'll take time for it take effect.

honesty is the best policy and even though things seem to get complicated for a minute, in the long run there could be a compromise or change that could benefit the both of you. stop causing monday meltdowns..just be honest with us (you want the same from us, right?). and deal with us being upset, hurt, or defensive. imagine if i told you, i hate that dress you wear ALL the time. the one that's your favorite. you ask me why, and i say it makes you look pregnant. you ask me if i think you're fat, and i shrug and give you one of those..."uh..no" but you read my facial expressions and know i mean, "um yea". imagine how that would make you feel. just because i'm a man don't think that you suggesting i should lay off the cupcakes, fried chicken, & other "good for your mouth, bad for your heart" foods, that's gonna make me feel good about myself. find a nice way to say what you got to say. and yes, it may be a "really?" moment but that's better than a "i hate her ass...evil bitch" moment. don't throw grease at me and assume it's gonna roll off my shoulder like water.

11 comments:

sunshinestar110 said...

I got to respect this one...You have made big point I am one of those women who never speak on it and get upset when it doesn't change. I think i might work on that for now on...I hate u for being right sometimes and I shall never admit that ever again in life.

thedailydoc said...

I'm trying this whole honesty thing with a few potentials. On one hand, it has blown up in my face. On the other, it's working out. The 3rd is getting on my dang nerves. My mom likes him though... Smh...

thedailydoc said...

P.S.: Being that you said it won't be a weekly thing, I won't harass you about it.

Happy Monday!

Freckles said...

I will concur and send kudos and accolades for this post. [x]LOVE IT!

Is there such a thing as being tactfully too honest? I think that is my problem. I try to pick and choose my battles and even try to bite my tongue on a very regualar basis but when I am asked how I feel or what I think... I let loose but once I say it, it's said and I move on.

Either way, good post.

xxxx said...

i completely agree with you.. this is exactly why i always make sure i read what you have to say and actually listen. cause you know what you talking about.. honesty is the best way to go about things but in a tactful manner

Supastarrr said...

love this post. You cant go wrong w| honesty. I'm blunt but I'd like to think "the truth shall set you free".

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@sunshinestar110:you shall admit i'm right forever and ever. lol. thank you, and stop being afraid to say what's on your mind. he'll appreciate the fact that you just told him over the constant bitterness of you hating something about him that he's unaware of.

@thedailydoc: what happen to mr. jamacia? you juggling men like that now?..lmao wow..look at you

@freckles: thanks, and yes there is such a thing as being too tactfully honest. usually things that can't be changed are better left unsaid. like if you hate his nose. yea, there is plastic surgery. but honestly if it's that serious just stop being with him, yanno? but it's better to just get shit out there then to keep it in. it makes you feel better and it lets him know what your issue is. i'm one of those folks who believes when someone has an issue in the relationship with you it'll always sour it, until they get over it. no matter how good the other parts are, that one thing will keep the kink in the chain.

@xxxx: well thank you. it's good to know at least one lady is listening. since that isn't yall strong suit..just kidding. it really is the best way to go.

@supastarrr: thanks. it'll set you free & solve a lot of problems too. like i tell ppl i can't be mad at you for telling the truth. i don't have to like it, but i can't get mad at you for the truth.

ms.rubies said...

i definitely agree with you, i try to be very honest and i ask for that in return, don't worry about my reaction..just give it to me the straight, and i wil respect you enough to do the same. it makes like sooo much more easier.

thedailydoc said...

Hah. Mr. Jamaica is still around. He's the one that is kinda getting on my dang nerves. One person is now out of the running. He's shady as hell with his "You don't need to know when my last relationship was." Luckily I was able to figure out that he's currently in one. #facebookdetective. #dontjudgeme!

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@msrubies: i agree..i agree..i agree

@thedailydoc: you don't wanna settle down. i think anyone you deal with long enough you're gonna get tired of lol. and you ought to stop with that facebook detective shit. but seriously that's how folks get caught up. if they put that shit out there then how are you any different than anyone else who sees the shit they're writing in the open? shit..that's a good look on your end. just don't be no stalker. lol

thedailydoc said...

What? I wasn't stalking. She was a friend that popped up on his top 6. Same last name. Thought it was a sister or cousin. Never seen her before. I was just curious.

And yes, I do want to settle down. I'm not tired of him. It's just that he booked a ticket on the insecure train after I didn't call for a few days. Hell. I was tired and he works crazy hours.