ManFive #16

as stated last week, i'm sea-bound as of today. so manfive friday is manfive thursday this week.

ManFive topic of the week: why is it so hard for us to be friends with our ex...

i know a lot of women who sit around wondering if their ex, still thinks bout them. they wonder why he won't be friends, why he can't come around, or just call sometime. the gene of cutting shit off is different in men & women. women cut shit off when the emotion fades or passion dies. men cut shit off when the benefits fade or when they don't want or know how deal with something. a lot of times it's something you can't understand.

five reasons why i can't be my ex's friend...

#5: it's a different relationship. . .

"if i wanted to be just your friend, i wouldn't have ever gotten with you."

that line was actually courtesy of one of my ex's. yea, she's an asshole. but i guess it's true. you hear of all the dudes stuck in the "friend zone". they really are just there cause the chick just wants to be friends. but after a relationship how do you go back to that? after you've slept together, shared together, loved..how do you go back to a fraction of that relationship? how do you act? what do you say? when do you call? it's like you're dealing with a completely different person. it "feels" the same, but you know it's not.

#4: we hate you, it opens up old wounds & feelings...

if every time i look at you i want to punch you in the face, we can't be friends. and seriously, before my "X - mrs. " i had never had that much anger for someone in my life. but every time i look at her i remember why we aren't together. what she did to make that happen. and it just pisses me off to a point you can't believe. because it just keeps replaying in my mind. she doesn't have to say a word. she could even be nice towards me. it doesn't matter. her face triggers, her voice, even her name does something to me. sometimes the hurt goes so deep that you can't get past it. we HAVE to maintain a relationship because we share a child. which makes it a trillion, billion, zillion times harder. trust me.

#3: we don't wanna hear about your new man...

like my dude 100K is always saying, "there is something wrong if she telling me about her new dude". shit, he's right. you might as well have a purse because she treating you like a girlfriend now. just because YALL wanna hear about our new chick, don't mean we want to hear about your new dude. but wait, let me point out the difference first. if we're together, and you messing with somebody else. yea, tell me about that shit. but if we aren't..i don't care if that ninja got you bent over the grill getting you 673 different ways while cooking you dinner. i don't wanna hear that shit. i don't care you met someone. i don't care you're dating. i don't wanna hear about NOTHING you doing with nobody else. cause i'm forever "fuck that dude". don't matter how nice he is. don't matter if he treating you good. don't matter if he beating your ass. i don't like him, nor will i ever like him. cause once you've claimed the "cave". you don't like none of the new residents "moving- in".

#2: we still wanna fuck...

and you don't want to. lol. yanno the natural transition is to ween yourself off right? and after you've been with someone. they know you, you know them. yall body's didn't break up, just your hearts. he still wanna come through and give you some vitamin D. and a lot of times yall don't have any problem with that. yall be trying to give him that Vitamin V, because you're not trying to run out there and be with just anyone right after you break up. but we all know, that shit is not good. i mean the sex is...but actually being with someone sans the relationship with feelings still out there is not cool. follow this equation ladies:

you + me = no sex + hurt feelings / past issues = no friendship

#1: we still like, love, have feelings for you, or all of the above. . .

it's hard to shake your feelings. women just tend to express theirs more openly. she you may never know how shook the dude really is. you may never know how much he's hurting. or how much he misses you. the objective is to have a poker face. never let her know how much she's affecting you. never let her know how bad you're hurting. act like you don't care. act like you've moved on. it's hard to put on an act in front of someone who knows you. in fact i hate when a chick can look at my face and tell what's on my mind. seriously. if i'm sad, mad, something is bothering me, if i wanna laugh, if i'm nervous. once you've been around someone long enough and they know you. it's hard to hide how you feel. and coming around someone and them knowing how much it bothers you that you're not with them, makes you feel self conscious. it's weird. it's uncomfortable. we can't be friends because you can see it on my face, hear it in my voice, tell by my actions that i still want you. i still love you. and i still want to be with you.

that shit ain't cool..