Thursday, November 19, 2009

ManFive #18

look up in the sky, it's a bird..it's a plane.. it's

TWITTER MAN

a woman's nightmare..

ManFive #18 topic of the week: why women hate us being on twitter.

i was reading my timeline the other day and someone tweeted: "I'm convinced that every straight guy on twitter is on to get attention from females. Yup" of course that was tweeted by a female with over 300 followers. why is it that ladies can be on social media sites for fun, but guys have to have alternative motives? why is it i have to justify my twitter friends, LJ friends, myspace friends, etc.. but you can meet any of yours when you're in town. what's the deal with twitter being the average man's cheating ground/chick pulling stand, yet since every chick wants to get with me doesn't that mean you want to get with your 100- something male followers. just feeding you, your same logic.

5 reasons women hate "THEIR" man to be on twitter (cause yall don't hate on the guys you follow, being on there):

#5: just haters (aka: fun suckers). . .

fun suckers [fuhn suhk-er] adjective, verb, bitch. .

1. a person who does not under any circumstance want you to any have fun
2. anti-enjoyment seekers

example: "my girlfriend is a real fun sucker"

sometimes women just hate on any kind of fun you can have. they don't want you hanging with your dudes. they don't want you going out and getting drunk. you can't sit with your hands down your pants, drinking a beer, & watching the game in peace. nothing. they have to swoop in and spoil your fun. like an alarm goes off..."wooop, wooop..you better not be in there having in fun!". if they think you're enjoying yourself on a social media platform then immediately you're up to no good. fun when it comes to men = trouble. women don't like you to have fun, unless it's with them. and they even are stingy with the fun then.

to men: sex > walking in the park. to women: sex < or = walking in the park.


#4: ego. ego. ego.

they think it's about our ego. we're just on there to boast and brag and holler at chicks. so if that's the only reason we're on there... why are you on twitter? how can you say a dude is just on to holla at chick and get attention when you have 300+ followers? sounds like someone else is the attention harlot to me. just saying. yall chicks be having big "egos" too.



#3: think you're lame, boring, etc...

they can't understand how anyone else can possibly find us interesting. it's like, "why are all these chicks following you?". um cause i'm naked in my twitter icon? i'm saying. maybe they actually like some of the things i'm saying. maybe i seem like a good person, a cool guy, an interesting, funny, sexual monster beast..whatever the reason, why you hating? just cause you could care less that i'm currently eating cereal. maybe my other cheerio eating buddy can relate and we can have us a healthy whole grain oat discussion in the AM. just cause you could care less that i wore my pants inside out and everybody laughed at me. maybe that put a smile on some grumpy person's face today. there are ppl who think like me in the world. there are people with the same sense of humor. there are people who may think socially i could possibly fit in to their friend circle. stop thinking you're the only person who could possibly find me interesting, news flash: you're not.



#2: can't see the chick you're @replying timeline...

wanna piss a chick off. follow a chick with a private twitter account. then @ reply them. say some shit like..."hey! @sexyladyinthemirror" watch how quick you're chick type in: www.twitter.com & types your username in the search box. then wait as the stalkertwit gets mad cause all the tweets between you and @sexyladyinthemirror are one-sided because she has a protected account. yea, she may take a day, a week, a month to say some shit to you about it. but know she is fuming. yall talking one day and she just out of no where says, "why don't you ask @sexyladyinthemirror to make you some pancakes?"

W T F?


#1: think it's a way for you to cheat on them

of course, as with anything else women always think it's a means to cheat. i want to be sociable with people i choose, get along with, and vibe with. you're quick to tell me how many female followers i have, now tell me how many male one's i have. if it's so few...what's the number? 1, 2, 5, 8? come on. true, i don't have tons of male followers. and yes, i can tweet guys. but unless these are my dudes for real or i met them through a mutual friend, what i look like soliciting dudes for friends? i'm not here to network. if you're RT'ed. if you hit me up and seem interesting then, ok. but i'm not just going around friending dudes cause that shit is gay. let me be clear, it's not gay to have male friends. it's just gay to be like, "aye add me man...". so in turn you automatically assume since most of my followers are chicks, it's only because i wanna smash them. and really it's because i'm a straight dude and i don't go around online or in real life adding dudes as my friends like that. sorry. go to any straight dudes twitter, it's not because he's trying to smash. it's because straight dudes don't talk to dudes like that.

8 comments:

Beyond Danielle said...

..."wooop, wooop..you better not be in there having in fun!".
Sounds like me in my relationship....

Hold on.. who told you all our secrets!?!!

druhil4lif said...

I believe my homie said it best today when she tweeted:

RT @IsabelAurora: If you get your feelings hurt over something on twitter....I suggest you get different feelings lol

insushiwetrust said...

lol you are killin me with all this twitter talk man...you are SERIOUS about this, like there is gonna be a "no arguin about twitter" agreement in your prenup.

i don't trip about online socializing--or i should say it takes a lot for me to do so.

i know that even if you are just online chillin, some throwback you ain't seen since 3rd grade will leave a comment on your wall talkin bout "hey sexy, i miss you", & they don't even know you got a man & that that comment is therefore inappropriate, cuz you ain't talked to the nigga since 3rd grade, & even now, all y'all do is send each other energy packs on mafia wars [maybe that's just me].

but i do think certain online things are questionable

like...

keeping "single" on the profile when you been locked down for the past 6 months.

posting a whole bunch of pics of yourself shirtless, lickin ur lips & shit, and you supposed to be with me but i ain't take none of the pictures & i know damn well yo boy ain't take 'em. [*clearin throat* this is just an example...of something that could happen. hypothetically. right.]

or the majority/way too many of your friends on facebook or *gag* myspace are chicks w/ass & titties as their main pics, & they leavin comments talkin bout "i luh u bae" or "i miiZZz u wEn u gOn cUm C mii?"

or the caption of 1 of ur pics is "me & my daughter, well 1 of them" when you only claim 1 son. :-/ [it's some triflin dudes out here. i'm just sayin.]

yeah. so... hi... my name is isis and i like to go on tangents. but my point is that i think SOME online activity is validly questionable...where do you draw the line?

xxxx said...

hey i have awarded you an award over at my site.. check it out

the.kisser said...

ROFL!!! where have you been all my life?! that was amazing!
LOL@ fun suckers [fuhn suhk-er] adjective, verb, bitch. .
luv #2 also (i have a protected account ;)

.kisses.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@beyond danielle: i told you, i've figured you ladies out.

@druhil4lif: lol@get different feelings.

@insushiwetrust: you know how i roll. death to twitter tatted on my forehead, yet still be on it and shit. i totally feel you with all your "questionable online activity". but i'm saying, is it your fault dude from 3rd grade hit YOU up? or that someone is coming at you a certain way, yet you never gave them the impression yall were on that level? i think a lot that goes on is one-sided but when viewed by someone who is "twitstalkering", "myspacestalking", "facebookstatuspeeking"...they convict first, ask question last.


@xxxx: wow, really? i'm gonna check it out. thanks!

@the.kisser: thank you & welcome to my blog and twitter. just followed you back!

100K said...

Dude...you're so on point with this shit.

I had to cut this broad off for this and other reasons. it got so bad. She was just saying stuff and i was going back and forth. i had too much dirt on her that woulda made me look like a prick if i aired her out on twitter. you gotta pick and choose your battles with these types of chicks.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@100K 'preciate man. def have to pick your battles. and sometimes have to just pick your chicks better. lol. i think it's moreso of a case by case tho, cause ladies get mad at the strangest things sometimes. and it's like it's never the same shit. one thing one chick might hate another has absolutely no problem with.