This week's ManFive topic: why aren't guys gentlemen anymore?
"Jack ain't no gentleman...."
shit who is a gentleman these days? to answer that, i am. but i know, i know...some of you ladies don't even know what that is. it's okay. it's that guy who used to open your door. the guy who used to greet you at your door with flowers. the guy who checked to make sure you weren't cold, ready to go, etc..
what happen to that dude? he got fucking fed up. here's why...5 reasons guys aren't gentlemen anymore.
#5: women don't like good/nice guys...
yes of course, you always default to saying you want a nice guy. a guy who loves his mama. a guy who goes to church. has values. a guy with a good job who can take care of himself. but when it comes to actually getting with a dude, who you choose? thugs, convicts, & habitual baby daddies. i'm just saying. you can't expect a dude to be a gentleman if you're picking the rotten ones. go w/ the ugly dude who'll treat you right, you'll get used to his grotesque face & body....eventually.
#4: women don't appreciate shit these days....
yes, you've heard me complaining about this shit recently. it's true. yall chicks don't appreciate shit. not that you aren't grateful. yall just don't get swept off your feet like your mama's did. a dude has to pay for your weave, your rent, your kids daycare, & your girls annual vacay in jamaica in order to win your hearts these days. flowers no longer have the same appeal. the last few chicks i've talked to have all been.."i don't really like flowers...well i do like "specific type", but i hate roses". whhhaaA? you hate roses? what kinda woman are you? that is the universal flower of love. that's like me getting you a rubber band for an engagement ring and saying, "you hate rings too, huh?...". yea ok.
#3: it's just too much work...
again, back to the appreciation thing. because women aren't easily impressed you have to do SO MUCH to try to get her attention. you have to jump through hoops to make her feel special. even at the end of the day, she's sitting there like..."that was nice but.....". but?.... how would you like it on valentine's day after you've spent all day getting yourself all sexy: hair, nails, eyebrows, shaving, etc.. you got a nice meal prepared for me. you got oils and shit ready for me. you're all excited about what you about to put on me. and i look at your ass like, "where's my gift?". YALL DO THAT. a guy can spend hours upon hours trying to be romantic. because thinking of shit and getting shit together is not usually our forte. and all that shit is cool..but if we ain't get you that diamond bracelet. we didn't catch the hint about that perfume you kept trying to get us to buy you a week before. if that gift you've been waiting for all day isn't on the table, in our pocket, hiding somewhere in the house. it's like..."fuck everything you just did dude....i'm not even gonna give you none tonight (even though that's the only gift i've prepared for you)". trifling women. *smh*.
#2: women don't know what a gentleman is...
it's almost your own faults. or maybe it's just the dudes of losers past that have never introduced you to what it's like to be with a real man. because i've ran into so many women who don't expect shit. i have to tell my chick to stay in the car so i can open her door. i have to almost fight her for her bag at the airport, because she think for some odd reason she should be carrying it when i'm around. the little things i do, she always thinks it's to get in her panties. like if i rub her feet. she thinks it's "that before love" treatment. i can't just want to make you feel good? it can't make me happy to make you happy? don't tell me, "i'm not used to guys..." doing shit because the sad thing is you should be. you gotta step your expectations up ladies. guys who are better than what they give you, will go lax if you don't expect shit. seriously. you could be with a dude right now that was super romantic till he got with you. simply because you don't care, don't expect, or don't make him step his game up. no lie me & my boys sit around and talk about all the shit we do for chicks. and it comes up all the time, "man she don't even like that kinda shit....". that's a "your bad" situation, not a "our bad" situation. get your shit together, read a romance novel or some shit. if your dude can tell you he fantasize about doing you w/ another chick. you can tell his ass you fantasize about him cleaning up the house and cooking you a meal. seriously. guys are into doing shit that would make you happy more then you actually know.
#1: men are not taught how to be gentleman...
not gonna go into all of this.."you didn't have a daddy..." shit. because i believe more so then anything women can correctly teach a boy how to treat a woman too. but when you got dudes coming through treating you like shit, your son think that's how you do it. i'm saying who think their chick is better than their mother? but on the real. #2..points out that there are so many chicks who don't know what a gentleman is. so they can't teach shit to their children their damn selves. i think it comes down to morals & values. something that is lacking in society these days. men aren't taught that women are precious & should be treated accordingly. most views you see of women are them taking care of the family. holding down the fort. you see them independent and almost harden. the idea of taking care of women has kinda fallen to the waist side. that is part of the reason why women don't know how men are suppose to treat them as well. not saying you should be pushed back into the kitchen or treated like children. just saying the security women seek from men isn't the same thing. women think it's in their height or statue. women think it's in their pockets (financial). it's just the general idea that a man is suppose to protect his woman, period. from everything.
just like you'd open the door for you children. just like you'd pay for your children. just like you'd go get the car in the rain so your kids won't get wet. just like you'd tell your kids to run while you distracted a pit bull, robber, or jehovah's witnesses. you're suppose to have that "protect" gene for your woman. you're suppose to take care of her the same way you're suppose to take care of them. problem is, too many dudes think women can do bad all by themselves...thus women think the same thing.
retarded thinking....
*drops mic*
8 comments:
Your right nice guys finish last, every nice guy I know ends up getting walked on. SMH I love nice guys because I can't do everything on my own and if someone would open a few doors and carry my loads and rub my feet I would have to respect him. You know a man that still has values and instills them into me. These men these days. NO COMMENT.
i think number one is the only real answer. people are not raising their children they way our parents and their parents were raised. i hear both mothers and fathers telling their sons that it is okay to hit a girl/female/woman if she hits them, fighting is acceptable, its not good to put all your eggs in one basket so its fine to date around. its bullshit and its an excuse to raise a weak "man"
Very interesting. What I am noticing is that more and more men are complaining about women's attitudes. Like you said, they're not appreciative or they expect too much. Since I don't date women, I didn't know that's the state of affairs. I'm not like that at all so it is so suprising to me. I must confess though, I probably fall under category #1. I think it is just a law of the Universe that opposites attract. A good girl wants to see the "rough" side of life and seems to, unintelligently, cross over to the bad boy side of the yard. So like you said, you get what you ask for. :(
@beyond danielle: you don't have to comment on men these days. it's true a lot of trifling, but there are a ton of trifling women these days. think folks just need to get their shit together period.
@xxxx:no, they are all real answers. #1 might just be the only one relative to you. a weak man, raises a weak man because he doesn't want him to be any better or stronger then himself.
@gigikarma: women are filled with attitude these days. i usually get a backlash of how i'm a misogynist when i say women aren't the same way they used to be. it's not that i'm trying to be a caveman and push you back in the kitchen. i'm just saying. you can't treat a woman like a woman no more cause she don't act like one herself.
OK, love this post. I think the problem starts at home. You have to realize that culture has evolved. Family values are lax and ppl are just plain ole lazy when it comes to their expectations. Successful marriages are rare and baby mama/baby daddyism is rampant. Men are so entrenched in gettin as much p*ssy as possible. Women are preoccupied w/money and material things to be concerned w/the way a man treats her.
Keeping honest, I will say that I used to turn down the good guys for the pretty frat boys that treated me like crap. Eventually I got sick of it, stepped my game up and found my good guy. Who is 39480349034930493498349x better than any man i've been with.
I don't have to ask for anything w/him and I appreciate him much more BECAUSE of the bum ass dudes I used to mess with. And now that i'm being treated right I could never see myself going back(and this is coming from a former member of the N*ggas Ain't Sh*t council)
Hey Mister...
Well put!!! I would like to think all women "want" a guy thats considerately nice/good but some of them come off as smothering I'm speaking from experience. Women (well let me speak for myself here) want time to still be a woman just like men still want a lil free time to still be a man. I'm talking on the lines of feeling like we're partners instead of feeling like u own me. U know you're wrong ---> Go w/ the ugly dude who'll treat you right, you'll get used to his grotesque face & body eventually, lmao it works w/some but I have to at least be able to stomach seeing ur face anyday that I see u!!! I happen to love small gestures roses (*cough cough* although I would prefer orchids or even a single 1 lol not because I'm not grateful but quit w/the common things), a surprise pinic or a sheet of paper w/2 folds left on bathroom mirror over the sink, my car window or fridge w/I Love You on it & etc just because. Sh*t the 1st time I got flowers from a guy just because was at age 15 in addition my father sometimes brought me flowers when he got my mother roses so I kinda expect sweet things. Sometimes something so small can make all the difference in the world, as far as women not appreciating things women r creatures of habit if its out of the norm to them chances are she won't know how to go about embracing it she might even assume that the guy has hidden agendas which some do. Men are not taught how to be gentleman/women don't know what a gentleman is goes hand in hand, a lot of people form victim complex from 3rd party perspectives and build their character off of other people experiences (hell I have as well as a child I'm just learning to let it down) I always say "MEN BREAK WOMEN BUT WOMEN BUILD A LOT OF THE MEN THAT BREAK WOMEN"... History surely repeats itself a lot from mothers that pacify their growing boys to the max, mothers dealing w/no good men that are only being examples of what the little boy thats watching them is going to grow up to mimick or going to be anti but the negative outcome often outweighs the postive, women pacifying full grown men within their relationships that don't deserve it (come on now there is no way in hell your gonna be sitting up in my house playing the game all day, there as much as me and won't offer to take out the trash buy a roll of tissue or etc regardless if u live there or not, that should go w/out saying too if u eat, sleep and use the bathroom as much as I do). The dating pool is kinda shallow these days sad but true and thats why a lot of people settle w/the bogus bs they do your so right I know far to many women that don't have any standards maybe its because they assume that "IT" man to them doesn't exist but in my opinion life is too unpredictable & precious to knowingly waste my time given by God on foolishness, thats like choosing between 2 miseries I would rather be single going w/the choice where I would feel less miserable.
I know my comment is long I had to vent, this topic has been blowing my mind lately!!! lol
New reader/follower...nice blog..
As for the subject at hand...i think a lotta women dont know how to appreciate a good man. They say a woman becomes more mature at 27 or so....I'm 23. Maybe I need to date older.
Then the next issue is ok...she's 27 but she may have emotional scars or baggage that may be more than what someone can bear. Who wants to deal with that?
@shoefiendish: thanks for your comment, i understand the lenghty response, cause i felt the same way. that's why i linked you to my rant. lol@ orchids outruling roses. there's nothing wrong with having a favorite, just appreciate all of them..feel me?
i def feel you on all the little things that would make you "ooh & aww". those things are possible when you show appreciation. because it makes a dude want to step up and do new special things for you. finally a woman who "gets it" lol
@100K:thanks man. at 23 keep it around your age. older women will still be checking for you when you're older lol. trust. a 27 y/o woman is gonna try to make you 27. that's just how it goes, enjoy yourself now. you got plenty of time for them to make you grow up.
Post a Comment