Friday, October 2, 2009

ManFive #11

ManFive topic for this week: how men can tell women like them. (courtesy of Beyond Danielle, if you ladies every have a question hit me up)...

Oh, I think she like me...


think is a tricky word. women are tricks...err i mean tricky. sometimes you'll run across a woman who will hands down no doubt about it let you know she's feeling you. then there are some of you who we have to play the guessing game (which is dangerous..cause we aren't a fan of guessing at shit, nor do we tend to be good at it).

it's hard out there for a dude sometimes. cause unlike dudes, women will look at you even if they aren't interested. like seriously, you'll think a chick is checking you out. you'll keep getting that eye contact. you walk over to her and she's like, "i got a boyfriend". then why they hell you giving me the eye? yanno the eye...i thought we were connecting girl. wtf? now i've just wasted my swagger stroll on you and the other chick i was thinking about going up to JUST saw me walk over here to you. damn, damn, damn..ms. evans. or you'll get the chicks in a group who are staring and smiling the whole night. and you think one of them is feeling you until you realize they are sitting over there like a bunch of bitches talking about you. needless to say, that's why chicks like that are always alone. despite all of the confusing signs, there are a few tell tell signs to know a chick is feeling you. here are five signs to know a woman is feeling you.

Sign #5: she starts playing games & testing you-- the "what if..", the "you don't like me" or the "if i was your girl" game....

you and this chick have been cool for a minute. you might have even tried to get at it once or twice. then all of a sudden she hits you with, "what if a chick liked you?". and you're sitting there like "yea?"..(cause you have no idea she talking about herself). or she keeps saying, "if i were you girl...i'd blah blah blah". and that shit start sounding good to you. and then some how some way you realize she's talking about her. and it's like...OOooooOoooh! cause women don't do hypothetical. yall refuse to do hypothetical. when yall be saying, "what if we we're married" yall already picked out the location, the date, who's gonna be your bridesmaid. it ain't just no question. yall been thinking about that shit. yall ain't asking to "make conversation". yall asking to get it crackin'..

Sign# 4.5 (part of games & test...): she start looking all sexy out the blue...


again you've known this chick for how long? she ain't ever wore no makeup. never tried to impress you. and all of a sudden she looking like a model and shit. like not just a pretty chick. i'm talking about chick got her hair done, nails done, eyebrows, wearing your favorite color, etc... you looking like..damn, is it your birthday today? and she looking at you like, "naw but i'll put oh my birthday suit for you.."

Sign#4: she develops a touching problem...

you can always tell a chick is feeling you when she's touching you. cause women don't like touching strange dudes. yall think everything & everyone is dirty. it's like.."i dunno what he been doing with his hands....". but if you feeling a dude. yall be bumping into a ninja like a bumper car. brushing by him like a lint brush. caressing his hand & holding on extra long in a handshake like a molester. touching his arm like he got some muscles. laughing and putting your hand on his knee, thigh..etc. as soon as a chick go out her way to touch me i know she's ready to be plucked. do you know how many times i've gotten up & as i'm walking a chick sticks her hand out like she's gonna give me "five" only to nut brush me. yall ain't slick. it's only an accident if it happens once.

Sign#3: she keeps complimenting & flirting with you...

just like touching, women will drop a compliment here & there for shits & giggles, but rarely not in a row. if a chick says, "oh..you have a nice smile." and keeps on about her business. if she says, "what cologne do you have on, it smells really good". she ain't sweating you she want her man to smell like that. that's all. but if a chick hit you with, "i like your shirt, oh and your shoes...you always look so nice...then hit you with the "you smell good". yea. yea. she wants it. cause women are not repeat nicers. yes i made up a word. "nicers: ppl who say things just to build your ego..". we all know men will tell a raccoon she look like Halle Berry just for the hell of it. like "damn girl...you finer then Halle Berry". women don't do that shit. yea, they'll stroke their dudes ego. but if they aren't feeling you...nada. women will say everything cept you look good. "oh...yea. your glasses are always so clean". "you really do eat so neat..". "wow, you're so polite". that's the kinda shit you getting from a woman. she only hitting you up with them raunchy innuendos if she feeling you. cause yall don't like wasting time. if you don't see this dude being your dude it's like...."move over dude cause there is like 5 guys behind you...".

Sign #2: she'll just tell you, or get her friend to tell you...


no shit. that's how my ex wife walked into my world. i'd say something but the friend who introduced us passed away (RIP shake..). so i won't blame him from inviting freddrica (female play on Freddy..it is NOT her name) to my nightmare. lol. but for real. most times women will blurt out..."i love you.." yea they be coming on that strong. not just like that chick say she loveded me (spelled that way on purpose). but for real. yall will just come out and say it most times. if not you'll get a friend to do the leg work. but most times unless yall tell us we don't know, unless you've done any of the previous signs...

Sign#1: she starts doing/being interested in shit you like...

yall good for that shit. as soon as yall start feeling a dude you start wanting to be all up in his world. he like sports..all of a sudden you wanna know what a quarterback does. he likes fishing. you'll take your non-worm touching ass out and sit in the heat for hours getting bit by mosquito's, ticks, & alligators trying to act like you're with it. he likes to eat, you'll be asking your mom about recipes and she'll be giving you the side eye like, "uh huh..you better not go get pregnant" (cause she know only a man got you cheating on your boyfriend stouffers & your microwave). once a chick is down for whatever it's pretty much a done deal. if you start to ask her out and she say yes, without waiting to hear a what, where, when...she's building a shrine to you in her closet as we speak. cause she's gone. cause women don't ever go NO place without asking questions first. this shit is reserved for the beginning of the relationship. cause once they got you....the questions mutliply by 20. and shit. or if they don't like you...they'll say no before you can say anything else. either way...you ain't getting that "i'm so into you" shit for long. that is, until yall want something...

3 comments:

xxxx said...

all of this is sooo true

Beyond Danielle said...

Amazing this is all the things I know already. Your absolutely right woman are a dead give away. As for you men ya'll would do all these things just to get the snatch,so I quess my question should of been how do you know men like you. But from my exerience all men do when they like you is always come around, you could be sitting on your porch and here he comes walking/ driving down the street.

Oh I like how you threw in the fishing trip with the heat and mosquitos,(LOL @ Sheila)

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@xxxx: i know it's true. i am always right. come on now...

@beyond danielle: that's cause you have to set your claim with a chick. like a cat that puts their scent all over the place. he gotta drive around and make sure aint no other dudes driving around and checking up on you.