day# 12 music challenge

day# 12: a song from a band i hate...

HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH- "ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU"

don't ask me why i hate hootie & the blowfish. i don't think i hate the blowfish. i just hate "hootie" aka darius rucker. the song annoys me, because darius annoys me. he reminds me of one of my teachers that was a jerk. and every time i see his face i think, "i hate his face". and thanks to my teacher, i also hate his songs too.

"i only wanna be with you........"

please die.

manfive friday #90

so...you're phone is on silent. vibrate. off. you want to escape the world. your job. your problems. the stress. you've taken refuge in your apartment/home. locked the doors, closed the blinds, and crawled in the bed for a few hours of beauty sleep...

it's been a long day, who would deny you of your hermit time?

manfive friday #90 topic of the week: why guys get mad, when you don't answer the phone...

you ever forgot your phone at home or in the car. didn't hear it ring because it was in your purse. look down and just not "feel it"..at the moment. only to be met with a cuss-out session. why can't he understand you just don't feel like being bothered? you were busy? you really didn't hear your phone? you're selling answers...but he's not buying. 5 reasons guys get so upset with you for not answering your phone..


#5: what part of the game is that?..

when will you woman understand you're REQUIRED to be available when we want to talk. who told you, you could be tired? have a life? escape from the world. you totally checked out but you didn't check and make sure it was okay with us. #wheretheydothatat?

and it's not just reserved to our chicks. when i call my mom and she don't answer..i'm sitting there thinking...WTF. how your mom just not gonna answer the phone?

ya'll know men aren't used to you wanting be alone, especially when we want to talk. yea
we could have went a day or two without calling. but the day we choose to call you and you don't answer...we're sitting there scratching our head. women usually are the one's calling. complaining about not talking enough. asking you to call more. then when we call and you don't answer it totally send us into shock. yes, we may not answer our phone when you call. we may not text you back in a reasonable time frame. but when you do it to us...it violates so many rules. in fact there has to be something about that shit in the bible. "thou shalt not ignore your man's phone call.." and whatever to y'all thinking it couldn't be in the bible because there were no phones. God knows everything and he knew cell phones would be invented. and we (men) would be extremely pissed off when you (women) didn't answer your phone.

so yea..um...for not answering tonight, you're going to hell...


#4: oh, you too busy for me?

so you went out with your girls tonight. y'all threw your purses in the back of your home girls car, so you could party with no restrictions. you're out having the time of your life. drinking, dancing, hanging with your girls. your friend who always starts a fight with someone, hasn't gotten drunk enough to do so yet...the last thing on your mind is your dude. you're not thinking..."what is harold doing?", "i wonder if harold has called or text", "i should check in with harold, it's been a few hours since we've spoken". let's face it...you're about 2 drinks away from forgetting who the hell harold is.

and it's all good. until you get that purse out the back of Sonia's car and you have 4 missed calls, 2 text, 1 dm, and one email....from harold. and your girls are laughing and joking like, "he'll be alright". but you're getting all nervous like ms. cellie from the color purple..cause hey don't know mister gonna beat that ass when you get home...

as much as we don't mind you having a good time, not at our expense. you can ignore your mom when you're talking to me. you can send your work phone call to voicemail. you can let the phone ring with your chick friend calls. but when i'm calling..you should be jumping over the bed. knocking down your chicks. breaking your neck & spraining your ankle trying to answer the phone.  it's part ego, and part needy.


#3: the hell you doing?...

if you're not available our mind starts racing as to why you're not answering. no, we don't default to "are you hurt?" or  "is everything alright". first thing we think, "the hell she doing?" & "who the hell is she with?..." whether we think you're up to no good. out with that friend we HATE. laying there ignoring our call. we are sitting there stewing in anger over you not picking up that phone. in fact what's the first question when you answer the phone..

"where you been?". 

it doesn't matter what you say. if your have an alibi. if you're phone is destroyed in 2,000 pieces. you not answering that phone was the worst possible thing you could have done tonight. and he's gonna let you know it. because as soon as he gets you on the phone you're about to be interrogated like you stole something. because we know that unless you we're doing some shit you weren't supposed to do..you'd have your phone. because YOU should have been calling or trying to text us.



#2: he's fiening...

sometimes we get lonely. needy. we want to hear your voice. want to share our day. want to text, chat, or tweet you. and we call, send you a message..and you don't get back to us.

this causes a guy to get mad, because i guarantee most guys have at least 2-3,000 other chicks he could call and they'd pick up. but he wants to talk to you, and you're the one not answering. so he gets an attitude based on the fact that he feels like you're not as into talking to him as he is to you. and you're gonna be tripping, when you check his call log and see he tried to call you twice then called Anita for 30 minutes afterwards.


#1: it's inconsiderate, annoying & says: "i don't care"

point blank. men don't carry purses. we have our phone in our pocket. in a belt pouch. a clip. in our hand..etc. it's accessible. and even though some of us lie and say, "i didn't have it...". we usually have it. and we see when you call us. so the fact that you "didn't hear it", "forgot it was on silent", "didn't charge it", "left it on your desk", "in the car..." we aren't giving you a pass. it's annoying to call someone and their phone go straight to their voice mail or ring & ring, especially when you know they aren't busy. you see them tweeting..from their phone. it screams.."i don't care.." and it's very inconsiderate.

no, you aren't REQUIRED (although i said you were in #1 that you are...*whispers* "and you are" *grin*) to answer your phone, but if you're with someone and they are calling you it doesn't take that much to acknowledge the phone call. i get sometimes you want some "me" time. and that is supposed to exclude me as well as everyone else. but at least let me know that. at least let me know you're turning off your phone for a few hours. you're going to let it charge for a few hours, or that you don't feel like talking tonight. it takes more to fight over it, then it would have to just give him a heads up.

day# 11 music challenge

day# 11: a song from my favorite band..

THE ROOTS FEAT. MUSIQ- "BREAK YOU OFF"

y'all forgot the roots were a band, huh? i was gonna go old school and say earth, wind, & fire(EWF). but truthfully i look at the roots as an actual band. i look at EWF as good music. but when i picture a drummer, can't see nobody but ?uestlove. and for that reason...i gotta go with the roots.

this song right 'chere...crazy. but the song with my girl jilly from philly (later erykah badu)...ridiculous

THE ROOTS FEAT. JILL SCOTT (Erykah Badu on alt. verison) - "YOU GOT ME"

a lot of people didn't know jill was originally on this song. especially cause erykah was in the video. but jilly actually penned the hook for the song.

and now to reveal the song that totally sold me on the roots for forever...

 CODY CHESNUTT FEAT. THE ROOTS- 

"THE SEED 2.0"

many of y'all don't know cody chesnutt. which i will admit his amazingly classic album was heavily slept on. after the roots did this song with cody...i was their fan forever.

wow...just wow

wow..
just wow

admiring your shade of beautiful
all of your amazing features
your eyes, your nose, your ears, your lips...
all the things that make you, you
i could stare for days
weeks...months...years
the rest of my life
wow..
just wow

my eyes staring at you
piercing through you
deep...

long glances
i see past your exterior
your flaws...your shortcomings
i see you, i get you
i can let you take my heart
but i can't let you take my eyes off of you
wow..
just wow

your lips
so soft...so inviting
i love the way you bite them
lick them
curve them into that pretty smile
i want to kiss you, til you feel it in your toes
your neck..your back..
your...well i'll leave it at that
wow..
just wow

when i touch you, i know...you're mine
you like it, you love it, you want some more of it...
because you invite my touch
invite me to explore
to follow your curves...crevices...your spots
caress you here, caress you there, caress you everywhere
can i follow your road
to the softest place on earth?
wow..
just wow

let's play cause & effect
cause i want to cause an effect in you
when i breath in, you breath out
when i close my eyes, i want you to open yours
watch me.....
love you

you've made me say it, now...
i want to make you say
wow..
just wow

day #10 music challenge

day#10: a song that makes me sleepy...

ME'SHELL NDEGEOCELLO- "FOOL OF ME"

like someone else said, it's not because i don't love this song. it's not because i find it boring. i love me'shell ndegeocello. in fact her "comfort woman" album is crazy dope. it's her voice though. she like lulls me to sleep. her and sade. it was actually a toss up between her and sade because both of them, excellent singers. mellow singers. but you mix me, their songs, and an open road...and i'll be in somebody's ditch.

like literally i can not do either of them while driving, because they relax me and get me all in that "lightly closing my eyes" mode. when i listen to their albums, usually the lights are out. i'm leaning back in a chair. maybe i have a drink, maybe i have a chick, maybe i'm just vibing. but nothing constructive can really happen after they get in my system. and as sensual as their music is..i probably wouldn't even put it on a slow jam mix because i'd be in there doing my thang then....."zzZzzzZ"  lol

day #9 music challenge

day #9: a song i can dance to..

USHER- YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL

believe it or not, i'm in this video. no i will not tell you where. but i'm in this video. and those of you who know, do NOT tell.*mean mug*

this is my "ok, that's how we doing" song. it's that song where you're sitting around mad she ain't calling or she's out with her friends and you're like..shit, 

"you don't have to call, it's okay girl...cause i'ma be alright tonight..". 

i swear i put this shit on and i'm saying, "fuccccccck yoooooooou" all in my head. this is a what a night out with the dudes is like minus the dancing. you are all in the mirror looking at yourself. dancing around, brushing your hair, beard, eyebrows, etc. you do spray that cologne on, pick out something nice, put on those new white sneaks. and you go out thinking..."aiight..i'ma show her". then you end up sitting around all night still mad she ain't called. lol

but anyway, this is my favorite usher song. and trust when i say at karaoke night..this is the "can't get that nigga off the stage" song for me.

i

day #8 music challenge

day# 8: a song i know all the words to..

Kilo Ali - "Cocaine"

 i think i'm showing my age with this one. i remember being on he bus rapping this every morning..

"cocaine said she loves you, but she really don't. she said i'll always be there, but she really won't...make you a big man, but you a uzi, she said go kill your brother or you gonna lose me. you don't wanna lose her so you do what you are told..headed for the jail 16 year old, now you're into deep and you can't come back...but that's what you get, for selling that crack...COCAINE"

if you aren't from ATL, you probably are like..."wtf" but seriously. kilo ali is classic atlanta music. from "do you hear what i hear (that boom)", "white horse", "freaky dancer", one of my favorites "donkey kong" & the ultimate party song.."get this party started"...

but then again, i'm from atlanta. i'm with old school bass, so maybe y'all can't understand. but just listening to this right now, make me wanna throw a house party.

day #7 music challenge

day# 7: a song that reminds me of an event...

EGYPTIAN LOVER- EGYPT, EGYPT

ok, so yall know i'm from the south and by the early 80's michael jackson, ozone & turbo (from breakin' my favorite movie) had made dancing very popular. so me and my cousin (who is actually a dancer now...), a couple of my friends had a dance group. and we used to wreck havoc. i mean like totally challenge dudes like in the old school breakdancing movies. 

and we challenged these dudes to a dance off (don't laugh..i promise you it was NOT lame back when we did it). and we started dancing and put this song on and WILDED out on those dudes. i'm saying flips, pop & locking, etc..and after we were done we were celebrating our victory. and them dudes beat the shit out of us. i'm talking about black eyes, busted lips, sprang ankles..everything.

this song forever gets me crunk. but every time it comes on me and my cousin both look over our shoulders. 

day #6 music challenge

day#6: a song that reminds me of somewhere..

LUDACRIS feat. FIELD MOB & JAMIE FOX- "GEORGIA"

RAY CHARLES- "GEORGIA ON MY MIND"

i know everyone claims to love where they're from, but i really LOVE where i'm from.   i love being from georiga. i love being from a place where people speak to one another while walking down the street. i've stayed here and there, but there is no place like HOME. and there are tons of "where i'm from songs" out, but can't shit touch "georgia on my mind" by Ray Charles to me. it's like a state anthem. i guess it's equivalent to how ppl in alabama feel when they hear lynyrd skynyrd's "sweet home alabama".  so when luda dropped "Georgia" and that beat hit the truck...you couldn't tell me shit.

my favorite line:

 

"where they usta call us some bamas, now they jockin' the grammar..watch your mouth, less you out for some manners.." - shawn jay 

 

 

 

 

 

 

manfive friday # 89



so you've been looking high & low for the right guy. and you can't find him anywhere...you've checked the colleges, e-harmony, mixers, etc...and the question still remains....

where are all the men hiding? when it comes to finding a man, it's not so much where you're looking. it's where you shouldn't be looking.

this week's manfive friday's #89 topic of the week: where NOT to look for a man...

this topic was proposed by sunshinestar110..she told me she wasn't relating to my other manfives. so i asked her what would be a topic of interest. y'all know i look out for y'all right? i'm not gonna steer you wrong. i'm not going to tell you to "think like a man". i'm just going to do the "man thinking" for you and give you the truth about these places you're looking for guys in. and let you know why a guy you'd be interested in..would probably not be found there...

#5: jail...

ok. if a guy can't call you without an operator introducing him and asking your permission to connect and charge the call to your phone...you probably shouldn't be talking to dude. ladies, i don't care how much you like thugs. how much they've "changed" while incarcerated. or how ride or die you think you are. never date anyone/anything in a cage. man nor beast. just say no....they are in a cage for a reason. and it's not a good reason.

"ray ray ain't commit no crime, he just stole this dude car...". um. hoodrat that is a crime. ray ray isn't a murderer. you might not have to worry about him standing over you at night breathing all heavy with a pillow, knife, boxcutter, gun in his hand.. but the second you lay them keys down....eerrrrrrrrrrr, there go your accord.

don't be pen paling. don't be going to visit, getting stripped searched, sneaking in weed in your weave...it is not worth it. the dude is locked up. meaning he is putting in time for doing some dumb shit. which means if you;re putting in your time trying to date him, you should be locked up too, cause that's some dumb shit as well.

#4: clubs...

lounges, strip clubs, go go clubs, anyplace where the lights are dim, drinks are plenty, and your mind ain't working all the way right.

do not try to find love in the club. it does not exist. guys go to the club to prey on women. the plan of action is to get you drunk enough that you start thinking he's Idris Elba when he's really Steve Urkel. he comes dressed in his best clothes, buy you drinks, then to find out he he's playing to take your panties off via the bus, cause he doesn't have a car. men aren't looking for a good girl in the club, in fact we're looking for the exact opposite. even guys in a relationship...go to see pretty ladies, get a few drinks, etc. the only guys trying to pick you up and pretend it's going to be something are the married one's. and we all know how that works...

and all you ladies in love with the strippers....i'ma give you a few minutes to come back down to reality. i know you are getting all moist looking at his physique. think he's all cut up. he's showing off the goods and grinding and doing all those sex gestures you like. but stop....and really look at him.

he's wearing panties. they are usually brightly colored panties. with frills and mesh. that's made out of spandex. he's covered from head to toe in oil. he's popping his ass at you. now tell me, in your regular world..is this sexy? is this what a guy who likes women does? i'm just saying...no judgement, but COME-THE-FUCK-ON...is this the type of dude you want to date? i don't care what you think his body look like...just because he's dancing for you and keisha on tuesday night doesn't meant h'es not dancing for kevin & dante on thursday.

#3: Service Jobs...

you walk into Old Navy...and dude stocking the shelf is giving you the eye. he's cautiously following you around, very non threatening like. you're not bothered in the least bit, because you find him attractive. and everyone knows women love with attractive men stalk them. he tells you how nice you look. ask you where you're from, your name. he's telling you how nice those pants you're putting up to yourself in the mirror will look on you. you're thinking..."wow, he's a really nice guy...he must really be interested". 

backspace...delete delete.go the fuck back to the first thing i said. "you walk into Old Navy". this dude ain't interested in you, he's trying to get you to buy those damn pants because that's his job. 

STOP thinking these dudes want to be with you in department stores. stop thinking because your waiter gave you a free drink he's trying to take you out. all getting cocky and writing your number on a napkin or leaving it next to your tip on his copy of the receipt. you got that free drink because his ass was too lazy to go and add it after he had already closed out your ticket. and he's not going to call you because surprise he does not own the resturant, that reciept goes into a drawer not his pocket. he's just going to play your Red Lobster boyfriend the next time you get a taste for some cheddar biscuits. i'm not saying don't date a guy who has a service job. i'm just saying don't go into this employment trying to make him your boyfriend. he is working. and all nice things said & done towards you are because it's his job. stop thinking the bartender has a thing for you. the bartender has a thing for anyone who does body shots, flirts, & tips him. you ain't special... 

#2: at your friend's house...or neighbors

i don't care if it's her man. her cousin. her brother. her ex. her best friend. her friends friend. do not go to your home girl's house and try to pick up no man. the shit does not work like that. the only way you can successfully meet and break up with someone without there being drama and problems..is them being able to be cut completely out of  your life. almost like they disappeared.

and yanno how it goes you date someone for a few months. and y'all break up. and you go hang out with keisha and this dude show his ass up over keisha house. or she have a cookout. a party. a housewarming. a passion party....and this dude randomly chilling in the basement when you walk down there. and now you feeling all stupid and dumb and mad. at keisha. but it's like..it ain't keisha fault. ain't no one told you to go get with her friend/cousin/brother/ex. keisha is an innocent bystander and she loves her brother just like she loves you. and even though she might love you more.....she ain't gonna stop dealing with her brother cause of you. don't complicate your friendship. don't get lazy and just start talking to any dude you see at a function a few times. venture out. find you somebody that has at least 3 degrees of separation from keisha. so when you get mad you can be like like..."fuck that nigga..." and keisha be like..."yea fuck him..". instead of you saying, "fuck that nigga" and keisha's just looking away and whistling.

another big "no-no", dating a neighbor. yes, it's convenient when shit is cool. when he's cute and y'all are flirting and you need to borrow some sugar. but as soon as things aren't good. and this dude see you walking in with another guy. or you see him with another girl. or you want him to forget where you live but he lives next door. you wonder who's been tipping over your trash cans and cutting open your trash bags. y'all awkwardly get in the elevator and have to ride down 6 floors together. your parking space is next to his and you get the urge to "bust the window out his car" every time jasmine sullivan comes on the radio (which probably ain't often, but she gets you really crunk when it does happen). you've just violated the "NOT IN MY BUILDING" rule. resist the temptation to co habitat with someone you're already in cohabitation with. imagine y'all apartments like cubicles. yes you got walls between y'all, but you still can hear through them.

#1: church...

i know y'all are thinking the devil just wrote this. i assure you he did not. ladies...i know you think the best place to find a God fearing man, is in church. and to some degree you're right. there are TONS of God fearing men in church. but when it comes to dating..those aren't the one's who are hollering at you in the fellowship hall.

picture your church. picture the outside to the door. now picture walking in and seeing those ushers standing there greeting you with a smile and the collection plate as you walk in. walk on in and sit in that pew and take a look at that fine pianist playing the angels songs as the choir sings. that jovial choir director dancing and stomping up and down the aisles commanding all of those smiley faced tenors and basses you've been eyeing all service. the assistant pastor gets up and reads a hymn from the good book as the pastor, sweat dripping from his toupee, buttons gaping from his tailored suit, sweat cloth waving in the air, like he just don't care. you got that picture in your mind?

okay now scratch out all the men in the room married sitting with their families. the young boys. the college students who'll be gone once school starts back. please point on one straight dude in the room.

ok...i know y'all think i'm going to hell. but i'm serious. what dude 27+ in the church, no woman, in a pastel suit, smiling, and passing out is really trying to get with a woman? *drake voice* "i'm just saying, you can do better....". you know just like i know that half those dudes in church are in there fighting the good "i'm not gay" fight. when obviously we all know they stay #losing.

not trying to discourage you ladies. some of this is jokes, but some of this i'm being completely serious about. it used to be taboo to date someone online. or to go to a park, or coffee house. but these days if this is where you are, if those places are things you're interested in and frequent..then that's probably going to be the best place to find someone. this isn't giving you permission to be stupid about the situation and randomly start dating and trusting strangers. just saying instead of all of the "my plan to find mr. right" just let it naturally happen doing your normal every day life. let a guy who has seen you walking your disgusting dog (because pets are disgusting) in the park for the past few weeks engage you in conversation about dogs. move your purse one morning so the guy on the subway you see every morning on your way to work can sit down and say hello. finally look up and smile when the guy at work tells a lame joke loudly because he's obviously trying to get your attention. sometimes you're too busy looking, to see all the guys who are looking at you.

{lol..this manfive is on time cause i'm out of town. so i set it to post at 7am to prevent you night owls from learning i was away not having to wait like everyone else..watch this shit don't post...}