Friday, August 7, 2009

ManFive #5

wow, friday comes along fast these days. ok, i'm feeling the manfive rant style so i'ma go in hard best friends today.

topic this week: why you're man really don't like your gay best friend (gbf).

being a man who's been involved with more than one chick with a GBF. let me just say i hate hate hate hate hate that shit. yea i see him with his skinny jeans on. yea i hear him laughing and talking "girl talk" with you. talking about like he like dick. yea i know YOU think he gay and shit. but i'm saying when dude was hugging you bye and saying, "i love you girl" he was giving me that gay *side eye* with a nigga nod. yanno the nod. the "i got you girl" nod. yea, that shit does happen in real life. i know yall watch all the movies where the guy "pretends" to be gay but is really trying to get with the HOT girl who wouldn't have talked to him any other way.

well the "GBF" is even sneakier. cause these dudes actually be fucking other dudes. but if you notice...they always become friends with the one chick they'd go straight for. and they'll say shit like that too all the time, yall just don't catch it. they'll be like,

"girl...if i was straight, i'd be all over that ass".

now if i had a lesbian best friend and she was always telling me, "boy if i was straight i'd be all over that dick". would that be cool? no, it wouldn't you know why? cause women aren't cool with you having a lesbian as your best friend. and if they are they want it to be a lesbian that's all dudely. you can't have a hot sexy lesbian as your best friend. because then she'll swear yall are pulling chicks together for threesomes. which isn't a bad idea...but i digress.

what i'm saying is. i don't discriminate. i don't trust no dudes. straight or gay. dudes be on some sheisty ass..."i don't even want you chick, but i wanna fuck with you" shit. check the logic...

this dude is doing EVERYTHING you won't do with your chick. she telling him everything she like. they sitting around having lunch, going shopping, movies, talking on the phone. i mean that's pretty much dating. you're just the dumb one if you don't see what's happening. cause the one thing a dude can do better than a chick when he's being your girl's friend....HATING.

everyone knows niggas be on different shit when it comes to hating. especially gay dudes. they don't come at it like their chick friends do. women are clueless when it come to men so their best & only material is..., "oh girl, he must be cheating on you..." or..."i saw him with..such & such last week". nope gay dudes be giving away secrets from the "man manual". it's like you forget that know that shit. not me tho...

a gbf will hit your chick with some shit like this...

"that nigga is NOT hanging with Ty Ty, check this boo boo..give him 10 more minutes & call him back! {ten minutes later}...where he at? in the car huh? what he listening to?...maxwell, you heard maxwell in the background? girrrrrrrl, you think him and Ty Ty bumpin' "pretty wings" in the car?".

that will inspire a "a-ha" thought that will set off fireworks. it's not just limited to that tho. a GBF will make a chick think her man will do some gay shit for her.

"girl what you mean he don't eat you ass? are you kidding me? OMG you don't know what you're missing."

i'm saying, you're taking sex advice from a dude who's supposedly messing with other dudes? now you're super curious and you want a man who ain't ever thought about messing with your ass like that to be enhaling dookie snacks? i'm saying. and it don't stop there, just cause he don't mind holding your purse, don't mean i want to. just cause he'll paint your toe nails, try on your underwear (for shits & giggles)...don't mean i'm gonna do that shit. it's like because he's a dude, you start thinking that it's a normal phenomenon like, "why isn't my boyfriend like you...he'd be perfect".

one catch ladies....he'd be gay. or at least pretending to be. which i mean pretending is pretty much gay in itself.

i'm saying...


Ms. Lovely said...

lmfao! Ok, i don't have a "GBF" lol. but I can see where you're comin from. Idk if a guy will go as far as pretending to be gay in order to get a girl but it could happen. From my experiences w/some gay males..They come off mad shiesty and catty. Worse than females. I have a girlfriend who went out w/ a guy who turned out to be gay. Then she went on to date one of his friends (who I believe is gay). He hangs around w/mad gay dudes. Red flags like a mofo right?! She say's he's not gay but he sure does have tendecies. Anytime he can walk into a room and point out the flaws in the heel of her shoes there is a mofo problem..foreal

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

listen, if a guy know anything about your shoes he's a bit too in touch with the female world. not saying he gay..just saying he probably wearing them when you're not home.

Ms. Lovely said...

exactly. And while he's saying all this i'm lookin at my friend like "Bitch, is you crazy???!! This nigga is GAY!" but she doesn't see it. I feel like a bad friend for not telling her what I really think but she can't be that stupid..esp after what happened before...smh

~Sheila~ said...

I don't have any GBF either but I do have a Gay female best friend.
She's been my best friend for about 12 yrs now. There was a point in time where Angel was working out of town/state with his company and he would worry about my Gay best friend "turning" me. She and I would go out and drink and I would end up staying at her house and Angel would beg me not to sleep over there.

I had to explain to him that SHE was gay...NOT ME.
Poor guy. It took him years to believe me. I just don't roll that way.