Tuesday, May 26, 2009
to add or not to add, is it really a question?...
not sure if i'm the only one who does this..but i don't usually add people i'm in a relationship to my social networks.
most of my friends aren't into the social networks. i'm a 33, black straight male. but the one's who are can be placed in 5 categories.
category #1: the one's who i don't want to deal w/outside of how we already deal with one another. like we are friends/associates, but honestly do i like you like that?
category #2: the one's i don't want to expose to my crazy demeanor on purpose. if they happen upon me, fine..but it's one of those "in conversations.." type things. i don't pass out business cards with my twitter name, blog url, etc..like ppl i work with, why in the hell would i add them to my shit? why would i want to seem like a groupie to people i deal with on an everyday basis who i can actually just text instead of dealing with them acting like "this" in real life...and "that" online cause everyone thinks they are "superstars"...@my-unlimited-superstar-friends "you don't even talk like that in real life...." stop it..
category #3: the one's i lost in my divorce. check "mrs. X's" (no that is not her actual twitter name) twitter, myspace, facebook, whatever the social network may be...and half her list we're "our" friends who she sufficiently embarrassed me in front of. so no i don't really want to add them nor for things to become a ping pong match between me & her.
category #4: ppl i'm in relationships with (see category #3)
category #5: my die-hard online friends, meaning we go way back to message boards, AOL chatrooms, other blogs etc..ppl who have transcended from online friend to real friends.
back to category #4 tho, i personally am not a fan of stalking a chicks facebook, myspace, twitter, etc. i feel like if you go looking for something you're bound to find it or make it up. and i HATE seeing a chick i'm dating flirting back & forward with some dude. not to mention the dude randomly flirting with her. so i put my jealousy in check, turn the trust on, & just ignore the fuck out of your page. it's best i don't see it, i'm secure enough to trust whatever you do & all the updating you're doing i'm getting it already so why i gotta jock you online?
but what i find is....
chicks stalk you tho. isn't it a fair assessment that if i'm not checking on you, you shouldn't be checking on me? that includes asking common friends about things i'm talking about (even if you don't look..it's just like looking if your asking!). i hate when you never check on someone, but she can tell me about my whole day in a heartbeat. because i'm not keeping it a secret. it's separate but not a secret. and as long as a chick tells me about something, she can keep it separate. and if you really want to be part of mine, fine. just don't ask to be part of mine, if you aren't willing to let me be part of yours (not that i'd ask....but it's the notion).