Tuesday, November 15, 2011

what is unconditional love. . .

my answer to the question: what is unconditional love?

A. it's an undying love that sees no wrong. it's love without any conditions. it's something almost impossible for us to give, but something so many of us strive to "try" for. loving someone isn't being a fool, even though some of the time we feel like one. loving someone unconditionally  is accepting their flaws, faults, mistakes, the pain associated with loving them, the good, the bad, and the ugly. but just because you're love is unconditional for someone, doesn't mean you stay with them. how many of you still have love for someone who totally did you wrong? be it your family, your ex, your friends, etc. it is possible to still have unconditional love, but to love yourself enough to know that it's not going to work. breaking up doesn't = love lost. if it did half of the people mourning past relationships, past friendships, and lost family members wouldn't care. you still have love for them. your love didn't die. it's like expecting a mother to love her child who killed someone. although she may not agree with the way he's lived his life. the actions he's taken. the awful things he's responsible for. it doesn't change her love for her child. that's unconditional.

why is it that we can see love that way when it comes to family, but we can't see it that way when it comes to relationships. to answer one of your questions...do i think that sex & the city feeds into an illusion that "if i wait...he'll be my mr. wonderful". yes. do i think a lot of women base their romantic ideals on tv shows, books, or movies. yes i do. this is the purpose of these things. they are made to inspire and to give hope. do i think they are at fault if you fall for the bullshit? no. but if i'm dealing with someone similar to a tv character. and i see how things could turn into this wonderful romance, what's wrong with hoping for the best? the thing is it's the "hoping" part that comes back to bite you in the ass. because at the end of the day. carrie is sarah jessica parker-brodreck. a woman seemly happily married to a man for years with a child. totally opposite of her character. in reality she isn't even living this "illusion" that's she portraying on film & tv. so why are you looking at her or at a movie to guide you through a relationship? why are women trusting steve harvey to advise them on relationships? why do some of you listen to me when i rant and rave? it's the hope that what someone is telling you. what you're seeing and relating to can turn out for the best. everyone wants that. everyone wants to think that they aren't making a bad decision. that if it worked for them, it can work for us.

do i think unconditional love is forgiving someone for constantly treating you like shit? yes. but does that mean forgiving someone means staying in a relationship with someone treating you like shit? no. i can love you and not be with you. my unconditional love is, although i say i hate you...i know i love you. i know i care. my love for you is unconditional because even though you've dragged me through hell and back i still love you. and that's not going to change. even if we aren't together. don't confuse "standing by someone" as being abused by their disregard. your love is unconditional not your presence. you can give someone a million chances, but if they continue to break your heart it's apparent they don't care. your love may be unconditional for them, but their love towards you is conditional. the condition = you put up with their shit if you want to be with them. you feel me?

as for "not putting up with some one's shit" negating unconditional love. again, let me point you back to the mother who has a son in jail for murder. she may not accept his calls. she may not visit him. she may not confess his innocence. but it doesn't take away from her love. he can't argue.."if you love me, you'd come visit me in jail". because quite frankly, he's the reason he's in jail. she doesn't owe him that. that isn't a "sign of love" that's something he wants. in a relationship. in a friendship. you may have a friend of ex/current that want you to accept or show love the way they want you to. that doesn't mean that because you don't do what they want. you don't cater to their needs that you don't love them.

"unconditional love starts in your heart...journeys to your mind...and lives in your soul." - me 

it's something no one care take away from you. no matter how much of an asshole they are. they can beat, cheat, and mistreat. and deep down you still love them. does it mean you stay? HELL NAW. but the fact that you still love them is proof that your love for them is unconditional. other than that what else do you have to prove? especially to them?....

3 comments:

Rells said...

boy did i have it mixed up....LOL. j/k i wasn't talking about me...i was asking for a friend..Ha!

but thats exactly right. loving you shouldn't mean loving myself any less.

thanks for my answer genie... :-)

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@rells: i was just answering the question in general. but you're welcome ms. lady. thanks for the question.

Gottaa Lovee Chocolatee said...

so true...