manfive friday #95: top 5 reasons men aren't consistent/don't wanna be consistent?... (courtesy of @dontbejellous)
wanna know why he ain't aiming for the "consistent target" every time. why he can call you every night for a week then go back to calling you once a week. why he can be there for you when you need him this week then he's missing in action like you couldn't possibly have another "i need you" moment again. top 5 reasons he's missing that mark...
#5: women get bored of consistency...
for serious..y'all do. consistency = predictable. and predictable is NEVER sexy to y'all. a guy who always buys you flowers. always calls you. always does something nice for you...gets placed in the annoying category. even though what he's doing is a positive..you find something to complain about.
your girl says.."wow..mike bought you flowers"
your reaction: "oh he ALWAYS buys me flowers.."
now if you get a guy who never buys you flowers...
your girl says.. "ooh you got some flowers"
your reaction: "i know aren't they pretty mike, got me flowers..girrrrl he gonna get him some tonight"
do you see how the reactions differ. mike is only rewarded/appreciated when he doesn't consistently do something nice for you. it takes a minute for guys to figure this out, but once we figure it out we stop doing shit. if i send a chick a card or a love letter and she acts like it's not special because she gets them all the time. that makes me think = she doesn't appreciate it. too much of a good thing can truly make you neglect the fact that you should appreciate when someone goes out their way to try to do something nice for you. especially when they go out their way to consistently do something nice for you. yea, someone cooking you the same meal everyday. someone wearing the same clothes everyday. someone having the same conversation everyday...can be extremely boring and annoying. but being predictable because i've paid attention to the things you like/want and try to give that to you on a consistent basis is not a reason for you to take what i'm doing for granted. all you ladies with guys who "used to do" all the things you like are partially to blame for them stopping. just saying. . .
#4: it takes discipline. . .
it's not easy to be consistent. it's not easy to always be there. to always know what someone wants/needs. so when it comes to being consistent on a daily basis it's not always second nature. you have to work at it. as a guy you have to learn your woman. you have to know what her looks mean. what the tones of her voice means. what excites her. disappoints her. what is important to her. you can be consistent at everything except the one thing she wants and needs. so it's important to actually know and do the things that make a difference to her.
#3: you're not consistent. . .
a lot of you women fail to understand a man being consistent sometimes depends on you being consistent as well. a case of the pot calling the kettle black. you can't talk about me not doing something you don't do. you also can't expect me to do something you're not willing to do. a lot of times women are "all over the place" yet want you to be consistent. if he can't depend on you. . . why should he be consistent for you? it's not a "tit for tat" situation. he shouldn't go out of his way to NOT be consistent, but why would he want to? look at #4...it takes discipline. he's not doing it because it's easy. he's doing it because he feels you deserve it. and when you aren't giving him that consistency in return...he feels like he's being cheated.
#2: what is consistency? . . .(use it in a sentence)
it sounds unbelievable and seems like common sense. but, maybe just maybe...he doesn't know what consistency is. not the actual term. but the characteristic. The importance of being consistent is a value. it's something you have to see, learn, and apply to your life. if he's grown up with inconsistent people. dated multiple inconsistent people. he could be ignorant to the importance of being consistent. it could seem like nagging on your part. you're "complaining about nothing". or you "wanting him to change". instead of the realization that you just want him to step up and be responsible for his actions. if he can't comprehend what it is you want, he won't be able to comprehend what it is you need.
#1: you don't expect him to be consistent. . .
could it be your fault? i find a lot of times women allow men to not function at their full potential. like he'd do more for someone else, because they expected more than you do. you can't lower the bar. you can't dismiss someone NOT doing something you feel you're deserving of. the problem starts with you. and could possibly end with you.