remember when we used to be so close. yanno, that best friend shit. where we could talk for hours. tell each other all our dirty secrets. be honest as hell about how we feel. things we dislike. things we want. things we need. things we are afraid of being judged for. . . then we got together.
and all that shit stopped.
not that we aren't honest. not that we don't talk. not that we don't laugh and tell each other everybody else's secrets. but we got to that point where telling the truth = getting into a fight. not telling the truth about important shit. that we kinda do & deal with the ramifications. but telling the truth about dumb shit. dumb shit that before wouldn't matter. stuff that we would laugh about. stuff that we would be like, "whatever" and not be offended by. now it's like walking on eggshells. if i don't like your hair. you don't like my choice of attire. i think your friends are....
you get my point. i'm starting to think you love the way i lie.
instead of telling you the truth. you'd prefer me to just say shit to avoid the fights, discussions, issues.
saying, "i'm fine.." when you know i'm not.
saying, "it doesn't matter" when you know it does
saying, "nevermind" when it's on my mind
why do we do this? why can we be open and honest when there is little "on the line", but when we invest ourselves..we get scared. scared of judgement. scared of expressing ourselves. scared of losing that person because of petty, stupid, dumb opinions. opinions that were once valued. opinions that were once funny.
when did we get so sensitive?