Tuesday, March 9, 2010

#tellthetruth tuesdays..

this is a topic that is going to get most of yall mad at me. why is that? because most of yall are under 28. what am i gonna tell the truth about today?


first off i'll start with a disclaimer. i realize that you are young. i realize that you still have growing to do, experiences to experience, lessons to learn, mistakes to make. i know it's unfair from a older perspective, a male point of view, & because i've already stated before young chicks need Jesus. i love yall. i really do. but i'm just telling the truth. . .

my gripe with young chicks?

yall are selfish. yall don't know what you want. yall don't think you have to give to get. yall think that your goals are the only goals that matter. yall don't listen. yall think you know everything. yall don't compromise. yall don't appreciate shit. yall don't know how to be treated. yall don't know how to let a man be a man. yall don't know how to communicate.
yall don't cook. yall don't want to be in the house.

waiting for the booing & hissing.

in a nutshell.. yall just don't wanna work with me, yall wanna do it yourself & still be with me. unlike your older sisters you haven't learned that being out for self will leave you by yourself. and yes, maybe when you're younger, it is the time you SHOULD be selfish and out for yourself. but again, if you're out for yourself, be by YOURSELF. no one wants to waste time with a chick who don't know what she wants, unless they're wasting time themselves. but if they're wasting time themselves you get mad because you then expect them to wife you after you've been together for a few years.

newsflash, if a guy is wasting time with you...you'll never be his wife. he'll stay with you for 6-8 years and marry the next chick he dates after a month. a selfish chick can give you a lot of things, except the desire to want to be with her.

again, just telling the truth.


Epiphany said...

true shit :) I'm 21 but i don't act like this. I give my dude everything he wants...but I like this post

birdie said...

I'm selfish, but I can cook. I can throw down in the kitchen.

insushiwetrust said...

i feel a lot of this post. i'm selfish as hell, i'm tryna get my credit right...i done did the whole "ride or die" chick shit, & i will never do it again.

on the flip side of the coin though...i feel like this is the age where, if you gonna be with somebody, it has to be somebody you can grow with...there has to be some incentive to invest & commit.
like you said, we not where we are gonna be yet, we still selfish, still making mistakes & shit...
niggas out here not tryna do that tho...they either want the chick that's already totally together & willing to support they ass til they get there...or they want a chick so immature that she's willing to mold herself completely to the guy that's already 100% together just to keep his ass...

and fuck all that shit.

ain't nobody tryna struggle through no shit though...nobody is tryna grow together...everybody tryna figure out their own lives solo...& then just think 1 day they gon wake up and be "together" & expect that perfect one to fall out the sky & be ready for marriage.

so i dunno.
this was a drunken ramble if you didn't know.

Epitome said...


I could be considered a young chick seeing as though I'm 26 but I am not this young chick you described...I club once a month and even then it's not like I used to do...I cook, I clean, I'm educated, I know compromise is key to any situation, and I know to let a man be a man.

But I used to be! And I'm not ashamed to say that because at least I grew out of it and realized my faults. Who I feel sorry for are the old chicks who still embody the young chick lifestyle...and then wonder why they the oldest ones in the club and the one with no date for xyz event.

JStar said...

Very true here...This is the problem I find with men as well. And age has nothing to do with it...Men are selfish at all ages lol...

sunshinestar110 said...


I was once that chick that young selfish chick. But life hit me and grew up and accepted my faults so I could grow to be an old wise chick. Some young chicks to grow up to be wiser old chicks but some do get lost in young life..and those are the ones that make me very sad!

Krissy said...

I really do find that a lot of young chicks have more growing up to do nd more life experinces to go through before they become a "real woman". Every woman thinks she's not like the others but clearly people make generalizations because the consensus is true. But its either very needy with the young ones or very selfish. Its hard to find an inbetween.

Beyond Danielle said...

the funny thing is once a girl turns 18 you can't tell her she's not grown and you don't realize how much growing up you still needed until your about 25/26 soooo really a young chick shouldn't even be out for a relationship, espeacially before she's had time to grow and explore

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@yall young chicks: i'm so proud of yall. i just knew yall was gonna be at my throat. i have to take back the mean things i've said about "young chicks" in general and say that you ladies are in the elite group of smart young chicks. thanks for the maturity and for looking at it for what it was & not a personal attack on your youngness. thanks for all your comments.

@epiphany: wasn't trying to generalize. i'm glad you give him what he wants & hope in return he gives you want you want. that's only fair & only right. thanks for commenting & welcome to my blog.

@birdie: when you cooking me dinner then? or lunch? i'd say breakfast but that kinda denotes a sexual innuendo and my chick will come read this and be ready to bbq my ass. so i'll just say..brunch..lol

@insushiwetrust: like i said it's nothing wrong with being selfish, there is just a place & time for all of that. being in a relationship is not the place or time tho. i don't think you should have to be a ride & die chick. moreso a traveling chick. be on the ride with him together. you do your part, let him do his part. people shouldn't ever expect you to go above & beyond what they'd do for you. seriously. and when you know they'll reciprocate, doing anything for them is not a problem.

you're right, you do have to be with someone you can grow with. there was another half of this post i didn't post because i wasn't sure how you ladies would receive it, maybe i'll do it as a manfive. but the jest of what i was saying was...you're at an awful stage where you're dating pool is lopsided. you have young guys who are trying to "get themselves" together, trying to live & be wild, not sure of their direction. and you got older guys who want you to be ready & to be together. it's hard to find someone who is willing to let you grow & also willing to be a man and give you what you need in a relationship.

thanks for your drunken rant, i enjoy your commentss & questions always.

@epitome: thank you, thank you. like i said above, not trying to generalize. i'm glad you admitted you used to be that way. the only way to grow is realization. and there is nothing wrong with learning as you grown. that's one of the best parts of life. and i know what you mean about old chicks at the club. those be the one's in the club with their daughters lol..

@Jstar: yes, this is true too. men are simple creatures. the "growth" comes in stages and sometimes is stunted. lol. other than personal growth, i honestly think women help men grow too. women give a man a stability. when dealing with a mature woman who is going to make you responsible for your actions, the way you treat her, want things and do what you need to get them...you grow out of the immaturity. it's also the desire to want a woman that makes you grow out of that shit too, because it makes you want to do better & be better. that's why having a woman who knows what she wants & is together is an important trait when looking for a woman. the one's who are young & dumb..are fun when you're young & dumb. but their shelf life expires after you realize you want & need more.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@sunshinestar110: again, thanks for admitting it. and i agree. yall do grow into wiser older chicks. that's the point i'm trying to make. yall do mature (well most of yall) and you have a great head on your shoulders. the plight of a "young chick" is not to be foolish. it's just a stage of inexperience. it doesn't mean you have no sense, or you're missing a few screws. it just means you have capped off at your maximum of life points and you need to live more to earn more. it makes me sad too when i think of the one's who are still young chicks in a 40 y.o. body.

@krissy: it is hard to find a in between, but there are lot of them. just looking at some of the "young chicks" on my blog..really there is a "in between". i'm not trying to generalize, but there are a lot of traits that just come with being young. all of them aren't exclusive to being young or to women. those were just some that came to mind when i was writing this that i've experienced with younger women.

you can be a "real woman" but it's like a decorated soldier. you can gotta go through it to get those stripes, metals & rank.

@beyond danielle: i agree with the "you can't tell her she's not grown" same for dudes. i don't agree with the relationship part tho. i think she just needs to evaluate what she wants & needs. if it requires her being out for self, then she needs to get a guy who is going to grow & be okay with that. you don't have to be alone, just because you aren't ready for the next step. but you also have to pick people who are going to fit into what you're trying to do. it's about choosing the right man at the right time.