songz is my boy and all, but his ass did NOT invent sex. He did however captivate you ladies, as if he suggested shit you never seen or experienced before. so why did you chicks get all hot watching shit you should be doing with your dude anyway?
this week's manfive friday topic is: 5 misconceptions, mistakes, or suggestions why your/your man's head game isn't on point.
i don't know who started this whole, "men don't go down" shit. in some circles guys will front and act like they don't do it. maybe it's a "submission" thing, where they don't wanna seem like they are pleasing their woman. don't that sound stupid? "you don't wanna seem like you're pleasing your woman?". let's back this up fellas. most women don't even orgasm from penetration. their one organ that is specifically made for sex, is located in a sensitive almost hidden location, that you don't always stimulate during penetration. yea you can touch it with your fingers. but seriously...what feels better when a chick is giving you head her fingers or her mouth? let's get real. after a conversation on twitter with epitome & sunshinestar110 (thank them for this manfive) the statement was made: "it's 2010 who ain't eating pussy". and that's true, who isn't? i'm sure some of you ladies are sitting there thinking, "yea, he'll eat it but not for long.." this is for you ladies who are having a hard time convincing your guy to lick it before he stick it. it's for you ladies who get into it for 4.2 minutes and he's "on to the next one". it's for the ladies who are tripping yourself and don't know what the hell you're doing. here are 5 mistakes, misconceptions, and/or suggestions why you're not having oral sex as much and/or the right way. . .
#5: present a pretty package. . .
it's like fixing a plate. if you just throw a lot of stuff on a plate all sloppy and unkempt, who's gonna wanna eat it? it's gotta look good, smell good, taste good. so presentation is extremely important. keep it manicured: brazillian, landing strip, buzz, whatever your preference is. just make sure he doesn't need a comb or rake to see the good stuff. get some pretty panties. boy shorts, thongs, g-strings...don't let him pull back the sheets and you got on granny panties. making it look appealing will make him wanna play in the area more. it may start off at him just looking...then touching...then lunching. next, keep it clean. self explanatory ladies...keep it clean & sweet. if you can smell it, trust...we can smell it. don't think that odor is just something you smell. no toilet tissue bits, no "surprise, i'm on my period", no yeast infections..i'm saying. we don't like those kind of surprises. make sure you're on point down there. yall got all that sweet smelling stuff from bath & body works, victoria secret, l'occtaine..use that shit. if you know you're about to try to get some, grab some of those summer's eve wipes, a wash cloth something. make the experience enjoyable, trust if he goes down there and sees some unsavory stuff he's not gonna wanna do it again.
same goes for him, if you're gonna give him the "midas touch" tell him to manicure his shit. tell him to put on some drawz without holes, shit skids, or some that he hasn't had on since last week. no ashy dick or musty balls either. make him, make you want it as well. cause you ladies be watching. yall will crotch stalk the shit out of a dude if you can see it. so just like you'd love him to grab you while you were laying on the bed and just go in. if you see something you like, pounce him and go for it. let him know he's not safe walking around with that "thing".
#4: act like you want it. . .take your time
now that we got presentation out the way...the next problem and one of the biggest turnoffs with head, is feeling like someone is just down there out of duress. if a man really doesn't want to be giving it to you. he's gonna be down there licking you like you taste like an expired battery. it's gonna be quick, fast, sloppy, and all over the place. but wait, it goes both ways ladies. if you aren't feeling it, you're gonna be down there sucking on his head only, licking like you got a stiff tongue and avoiding the balls like they are parsley on a plate.
the key to enjoying it more & making the other person enjoy it more, is acting like you want it. acting like you like it. being creative & taking your time. when it comes to receiving head from him. keep it sexy & make him want it. he already wants it, but make him think it's the best thing in the world and he must taste it. kiss it. lick it. wrap your legs around his head. like drake says, "say something baby..". let him hear you. if you like it, let him know. moan. scratch. pull his hair, head, ears. understanding that you're making someone feels good, makes you want to do it more. spice it up. pull out the chocolate syrup, honey, whip cream, ice, etc. he'll be looking at you like, "what are you gonna do with that?". walk in the room with the edible panties on..tell him "do it with no hands". and when it's time to bust..don't act like it's the most disgusting shit in the world. women will bust all over your face, down your throat, over & over again. she can drown you in her love, then as soon as she thinks you're about to do it..she moves back like it's acid rain. i'm not saying you have to swallow, but if you're gonna spit or push it away from you at least let him know that. imagine if you said you we're about to cum and dude stops and backs up 2 feet. or imagine if you did and he's all taking it like a champ then he starts spitting it out on the floor or on you. i don't think you ladies realize that it takes away from the finale a bit, when you do this. have "safe locations" for him to bust, if you're not trying to put it in your mouth. or be stealth with your spitting. if you or him are not fans of the taste use flavored lube, gels, edible paints.
#3: reach one. . .teach one
not knowing how to give head is also a deal breaker. if your man doesn't know how to do it right, tell him how you like it. he could know the basics. but each woman is different. your spots, your preferences, what actually "does it" for you is probably completely different then the next chicks. just like dicks come in different sizes, lips & clits are not the same. some women get wet like a rain forest while others stay dry like a desert. you may like licking, kissing & sucking. while the next chick might want you to get straight to the point. you might like fingers or just tongue action. or like h-town said, you might "like it slow...". whatever your preference don't think your dude is naturally going to know that. you can let him know what he's doing feels good. you can move his head around, direct him with dirty talk, or show him with your hands. if he's going too fast, licking too hard, or all together in the wrong places...tell him. he may get sensitive and think you're trying to undermine him. but a real man, is going to adjust to make it feel good for you. play the instructor game tell him to, "just kiss it..". let him ease into it. once you start getting wet, moaning, moving along with him..he'll start thinking he doing some shit. try intense sessions of "teaching". it will benefit him with his skills..and would you be opposed to prolonged head? i'm saying. . .
on the flip side, just like you want him to take his time, when you get to him stop acting like his dick is metal pole & it's cold outside. don't stay stuck to one location. yes, maybe you ladies have a power source with a centralized location. but you gotta go up, down & around to work the pole. listen to him. yea, we try not to say nothing. but you know when you find that spot we like we break that silence, even if it's a "aw shit...". kiss it. lick it. suck it. spit. repeat. go the extra step and show the "boys" some love. don't forget that just because you're showing the head attention that there isn't more down there. tease him with it & make him want it. you don't have to devour it, but show him that you're into and you're trying to take it all (even if you can't).
things to do together. get the games, books, videos of new ways to give head. try out different tips & tricks to make it interesting and new. try different positions and locations. maybe he don't like to do it in the bed with you on your back. but on the edge of the kitchen counter, he eating it like cookie monster. again, learning is fun when it feels good.
#2: stop sucking if he ain't licking. . .
a lot of yall are to blame for not getting head. if you're steady giving him head, but aren't getting it in return...that's your problem right there. a woman's body is not straightforward. so figuring out what you like, how you like it, the pace, the pressure to apply etc..is a job. it's a task. now for guys like myself it's a fun task and becomes second nature. but for lazy dudes...if they can get head without giving head, trust they'll take that deal. fastest way to make him realize that it's a two way street is to stop the one way giving. if he wanna act like he's not with it, both of yall can be headless. play him like he play you. let him lay his head on your lap. rub his head & push it down there. biggest mistake women make when it comes to head, is letting the dude tell you he ain't gonna do it. trust me, if he wants some..he's gonna do it.
again on the flip side. if you aren't slobbing on his knob, don't be spreading your legs like he's the only one at the picnic. it's easy to let someone do something they want/like doing and lose track that you should be returning the favor.
#1: let him know that's part of sex for you. . .
after all you have to warm up to sex right? you want foreplay right? he can't just jump in it (all the time..). it's like a car, when it's cold you gotta let it warm up right? he's gonna spend some time down there. stress that you want it. you like it. you need it. incorporate it in your dirty talk. let him tell you what he likes & want you to do to him. then you turn it around and tell him what you like & want him to do to you. tell him how good it makes you feel. tell him "graphically" what you want him to do. and trust, he'll be trying to do it because it'll turn him on. the key is getting him to enjoy it so he wants to do it. if he can't get enough of the taste. he can't stop thinking about doing it. you'll get so much head you'll start pushing him away. oh yes, it happens. and if you've never been overwhelmed by head, then you aren't with the right dude.