why is it, chicks can plan.."girl only weekends", "trips to jamaica", or "slumber parties", but let a guy say he's going on a ManCation with the fellas. my chick had been planning vacation after vacation with her girls. i told her i was about to get #yachtboyfresh with my dudes. guess who got an attitude? guess who wanted to go on the yacht? guess who wanted to plan a trip to miami with the girls?..
why do women get jealous of our trips? we usually don't care about yours. we usually don't say nothing about you hanging with the girls. why you wanna be all up in my grill w/ my boys? no chicks on dude trips...at least not your girlfriend.
5 reasons we don't invite you on our ManCations...
#5: y'all are natural funstoppers
i've mentioned this before. y'all hate dudes having fun. unless it's with you personally..it's outlawed. yea, me & you can go on a trip...live it up. have a great time. but introduce my boys into the mix..you are a headache in a dress. always complaining, always wanting to do something else, not understanding that JUST because you're there we aren't able to talk about or do half the things we want to do. the foolish shit, like wrestling alligators (which is SO fun) is a no go with you. you not only ruin my time, you ruin my boys time too. that's just unacceptable!
#4: y'all are natural puh-C-blockers
damn...reoccurring theme huh? yes, you don't want your boyfriend getting it with another chick. but why the fuck you hating on my dudes? yes, he knows she's a hoe. yes, he knows she probably slept with 2 dudes this morning. yes, he knows she's just talking to him cause she's a gold digger. yes, he knows she's probably gonna leave him burning..but why is you blocking? i can't bring you around my dudes cause your comfortable being the only chick with a bunch of dudes. as long as you're the only chick. any female that comes in the vicinity is gonna be a "hoe". or she's gonna want me, even though she's talking to my boy. you can't turn off your puh-C-blockers beams. and if my boys happen to be unlucky enough to be around you, you're gonna cast your p-blocker beams on them too.
#3. y'all don't vacation like us...
the shit that makes our ManCations awesome are completely foreign to you. you wanna go exploring shit. you want to sight-see. you want to watch the sunrise & sunset and shit like that. shit, it's not unusual for us wake up for the sunset & party till the sunrise. we don't have to see a damn thing in the exotic location. we don't need breakfast, lunch, & dinner. we don't need to lay out on the beach. we don't need to hit up the retail shops. we don't need to see the dolphins. vacationing with your dudes, is relaxing with your dudes. no schedules, no rules, no limitations. just fun, sun & liquor.
#2: y'all assume it's about hooking up w/ chicks...
yea i know i said in the intro that, "no chicks allowed..at least not your girlfriend". but believe it or not dude trips are not always about women. "ManCations" aren't about cheating/hooking up with/or entertaining other women. but i'm not gonna lie and act like if there are single guys on the trip..yes, eventually women well get tossed into the mix. but, if you trust us on an everyday basis. you trust that we aren't gonna lose our heads when we're out with the fellas. you trust we aren't gonna slip up & forget about you. then we'll be okay. part of the reason why we don't trip about you going out with your chicks, is because we trust you. we know you aren't gonna see some dude & throw away everything we have. even if that's what you're gonna do, we don't look at your trip like that. we don't automatically think your girls talking to men is gonna lead to you hooking up. we don't think you looking at half naked men is gonna make you want to get some from them. give us more credit...let us enjoy ourselves too.
#1: y'all take away our freedom to be ourselves..
it's a freedom of being without the nagging. it's a freedom of having a conversation with a chick & not having you side eyeing like we're up to no good. to be honest, we aren't able to be ourselves around you & our boys. like you see one side, they see another. when the two get together it gets...unmanageable. there are different sides to every man. as our girl, you probably get the biggest variety. yet, there are tons of things we DON'T do around you. yea, we fart & burp around you. we drink & we party around you. we curse & we scratch around you. but the way we do it with our dudes is completely different. almost on the level if you knew, you wouldn't want to be with us. we could blow a room up so bad you'd have to wait a day to go back in. and unless we're married (or really really comfortable) we aren't gonna expose you to that shit. we might drink to we get sleepy around you. but we drink till we pissing on police cars with our boys. we get so drunk we can't even form sentences the next day. we might have the dirtiest & raunchiness mouth in the world. you might get a taste of it if we getting it in, phone sexing, sexting, etc. but if you heard some of the ridiculous crazy shit we talk about to our dudes....it's-fuck-what-ya-heard-qwazzy. you'd make us wash our mouth out with 5 different types of soap. say it to you, then wash it out again..
i'm just saying..