Friday, January 15, 2010

ManFive Friday #26

ManFive Friday topic of the week: why no chicks are allowed on ManCations...

why is it, chicks can plan.."girl only weekends", "trips to jamaica", or "slumber parties", but let a guy say he's going on a ManCation with the fellas. my chick had been planning vacation after vacation with her girls. i told her i was about to get #yachtboyfresh with my dudes. guess who got an attitude? guess who wanted to go on the yacht? guess who wanted to plan a trip to miami with the girls?..

why do women get jealous of our trips? we usually don't care about yours. we usually don't say nothing about you hanging with the girls. why you wanna be all up in my grill w/ my boys? no chicks on dude trips...at least not your girlfriend.

5 reasons we don't invite you on our ManCations...


#5: y'all are natural funstoppers

i've mentioned this before. y'all hate dudes having fun. unless it's with you personally..it's outlawed. yea, me & you can go on a trip...live it up. have a great time. but introduce my boys into the mix..you are a headache in a dress. always complaining, always wanting to do something else, not understanding that JUST because you're there we aren't able to talk about or do half the things we want to do. the foolish shit, like wrestling alligators (which is SO fun) is a no go with you. you not only ruin my time, you ruin my boys time too. that's just unacceptable!

#4: y'all are natural puh-C-blockers

damn...reoccurring theme huh? yes, you don't want your boyfriend getting it with another chick. but why the fuck you hating on my dudes? yes, he knows she's a hoe. yes, he knows she probably slept with 2 dudes this morning. yes, he knows she's just talking to him cause she's a gold digger. yes, he knows she's probably gonna leave him burning..but why is you blocking? i can't bring you around my dudes cause your comfortable being the only chick with a bunch of dudes. as long as you're the only chick. any female that comes in the vicinity is gonna be a "hoe". or she's gonna want me, even though she's talking to my boy. you can't turn off your puh-C-blockers beams. and if my boys happen to be unlucky enough to be around you, you're gonna cast your p-blocker beams on them too.

#3. y'all don't vacation like us...

the shit that makes our ManCations awesome are completely foreign to you. you wanna go exploring shit. you want to sight-see. you want to watch the sunrise & sunset and shit like that. shit, it's not unusual for us wake up for the sunset & party till the sunrise. we don't have to see a damn thing in the exotic location. we don't need breakfast, lunch, & dinner. we don't need to lay out on the beach. we don't need to hit up the retail shops. we don't need to see the dolphins. vacationing with your dudes, is relaxing with your dudes. no schedules, no rules, no limitations. just fun, sun & liquor.

#2: y'all assume it's about hooking up w/ chicks...

yea i know i said in the intro that, "no chicks allowed..at least not your girlfriend". but believe it or not dude trips are not always about women. "ManCations" aren't about cheating/hooking up with/or entertaining other women. but i'm not gonna lie and act like if there are single guys on the trip..yes, eventually women well get tossed into the mix. but, if you trust us on an everyday basis. you trust that we aren't gonna lose our heads when we're out with the fellas. you trust we aren't gonna slip up & forget about you. then we'll be okay. part of the reason why we don't trip about you going out with your chicks, is because we trust you. we know you aren't gonna see some dude & throw away everything we have. even if that's what you're gonna do, we don't look at your trip like that. we don't automatically think your girls talking to men is gonna lead to you hooking up. we don't think you looking at half naked men is gonna make you want to get some from them. give us more credit...let us enjoy ourselves too.

#1: y'all take away our freedom to be ourselves..

it's a freedom of being without the nagging. it's a freedom of having a conversation with a chick & not having you side eyeing like we're up to no good. to be honest, we aren't able to be ourselves around you & our boys. like you see one side, they see another. when the two get together it gets...unmanageable. there are different sides to every man. as our girl, you probably get the biggest variety. yet, there are tons of things we DON'T do around you. yea, we fart & burp around you. we drink & we party around you. we curse & we scratch around you. but the way we do it with our dudes is completely different. almost on the level if you knew, you wouldn't want to be with us. we could blow a room up so bad you'd have to wait a day to go back in. and unless we're married (or really really comfortable) we aren't gonna expose you to that shit. we might drink to we get sleepy around you. but we drink till we pissing on police cars with our boys. we get so drunk we can't even form sentences the next day. we might have the dirtiest & raunchiness mouth in the world. you might get a taste of it if we getting it in, phone sexing, sexting, etc. but if you heard some of the ridiculous crazy shit we talk about to our dudes....it's-fuck-what-ya-heard-qwazzy. you'd make us wash our mouth out with 5 different types of soap. say it to you, then wash it out again..

i'm just saying..

10 comments:

sunshinestar110 said...

Please oh Please take an Mancation with your friends..thats the way I feel about it. I think some female forgets that when he on vacation so are you no him..no him related things...Every time my ex would go on one of his expedition i would just plan a mini girls night and live it up until he returns. I'm so very happy that i'm couldn't relate to any of these manfives.....

Hater Von G said...

I agree most chicks are like this. Let's not generalize here, though.

I will not lie, Id want to go. But if it is strongly protested against, I won't throw a fit. But I'm laid back, I don't fear other women talking to the dudes Im with. But let her touch him, I'll knock a bitch out.

I also think that time apart is important in relationships. If my man wanted to go on a mancation with his homeboys and get trashed and flirt with chicks the whole time, so be it. He'll just come home all horny, and I'll be there to take care of it.

It's all about trust. Everything you wrote is about women with trust issues. I made the choice of trusting my ex-husband even though I had a perpetual burning feeling in my stomach, knowing what he would do. But trust is SUCH a beautiful thing, trusting someone is almost like giving them a test. The results will let you decide on whether or not they are worthy enough to be a part of your life. My ex... he failed. But at least I knew not to waste any more of my time on him. It sucked, I cried, but I'm better without him.

Wow... I just went off on a rant there, didn't I? Sorry bro.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Ugh...why would any female want to be the only chick on a trip full of men only? That's no fun! If the future man wants to go on mancations, by all means, pack it up and I'll HOLLLLLAA!!! See ya' when I see ya! LOL.

insushiwetrust said...

sad, i feel like i got sucked into the vortex of "single black womanhood" & will be there for awhile...so it will be a long while before i can relate to this .


but this makes me wish gender didn't exist sometimes...
i was very tomboyish growing up & all my close friends were guys until i went to college & lived in an all girls' dorm. reading this just made me miss the days when i was "one of the guys", & miss the days when i was too young to have to act like a lady, & the craziness i got into was just something to laugh about later as opposed to something to feel embarrassed about.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@sunshinestar110: congrats, you're finally not guilty of a manfive faux pas lol. All women should act like that. You do you, I do me.

@hater von g: rant appreciated. A chick wanting to go is fine, but it's like you wanting to go knowing it's a ManCation is the problem. I just n

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@hater von g: (continued...comment from phone prematurely ejaculated above lol). I was saying I need women to understand when it's a time to let dudes be with their dudes & when it's time for them to campaign to go.

@starrla monae: whether she wants to be the only chick or turn it into a couples vacation vs. Just me & the boys it's like..let my vacation be great w/o you. If you want me to be cool about your travels why you jocking & trying to jack mine?..I'm saying.

@insushiwetrust: again...you are the dangerous chick. Because like mentioned in my previous manfive. It would be cool to invite you along on a ManCation, but the chickfriend would be upset about that. Usually chicks who think they are "just one of the guys"..lift their skirts for a moment & show you they aren't. So i'd have to say.."even cool ass chicks who act like one of the guys..." DENIED...for ManCations. Y'all tend to play that chick card at the wrong moments.

100K said...

Number 4 is SO true.

RoByn LaTice said...

lmao. Sooo..I agree most women are like this. I think most do it just for a jealousy purppose. But if I can have my girl time without dude buggin me then he can have his little mancations. He deserves a little fun with his boys every now and then...!

ms.rubies said...

thankfully i am not like other chicks..i wanna alligator wrestle too! but for real your posts always make me crack up, and i just realized how annoying chicks are.

(same love, different name)

insushiwetrust said...

LOL that skirt-lifting action is guys' fault, not their female friends'. we just be chillin but there's always at least 1 guy whose ego just can't be at peace with having been friends with a girl for so long without beatin, or her even showing interest in him.

for the record i've only messed with 1 of my male friends & it was discreet, no 1 was creeping, and we're still friends now.

the older i get, the more i think men & women are only friends if there's some barrier in the way: y'all are related, you're the friend/relative of a meaningful ex, 1 of y'all is gay, 1 or both of you are already in a relationship (& not trying to creep or be crept with), you live on the other side of the world, etc...

but back on topic. i would never wanna go on my man's mancation. i'd rather have a low level of curiosity or insecurity than know for SURE that i'm being a "fun-ruiner".

& if i was to go on one w/the fellas...it would only be because i'm bankin on bangin 1 of them or seeing if we can find a 3rd #jussayin.