manfive friday #88 topic of the week: 5 reasons a man may seem "too sensitive"
why is it women complain about guys "not caring" then as soon as a guy cares he's "too sensitive". are you women never happy? i get into it with my chick all the time over this. she thinks cause i "share my feelings" that i'm "too sensitive". when the truth is, i'm too old to be sitting around not saying how i feel about shit. i've gotten over that "play it cool" stage where i got to act like i don't care. if we're together, and we're going some where with this both of us need to speak up and let the other know how we feel. i'm not afraid to say i love you. not afraid to say this or that bothers me. if there is one person i should be comfortable enough to talk like that with...it should be her right? just cause i talk like that with her doesn't mean i'm talking to my homeboys about "our feelings". doesn't mean i'm watching chick flicks and crying. or offering to paint her toenails. don't confuse a guy who's trying to be honest about his feelings with a dude who's trying to wear your skinny jeans. 5 reasons a man may seem too sensitive to you...
#5: you're a cold hearted mofo..
sometimes it's not the guy who's too sensitive. it's the chick who's too harden. gone are the days a chick is impressed or satisfied with things you do for her. she'll "ooh" & "aww" for someone else. she'll think her male friends are "sweet". she'll think something her friend's boyfriend did was sweet, wonderful, romantic...but let your ass do it and it's like..."whatever". some of you ladies act more like dudes emotionally then most dudes. and it's not the fact that your dude is acting "like a chick" with his emotions. you just happen to be an icebox and aren't receptive to gestures of emotion from your dude. you're the kind of chick who'll only appreciate his sensitivity if it happens once in a blue moon. that way you appreciate the effort. after all, if you're getting it all the time what makes it special? oh that's right, if your chick's man does it..then it's special......
#4: he think it's what you want..
yanno how a lot of you ladies act like you can cook. act like you're all about pleasing a man. act like whatever he wants you're trying to give it to him. well "caring" and "showing you care" are a few of the things guys do because we are conditioned to think you want that. a lot of us have gotten that "i just want you to care" talk. or we've been in past relationships where a complaint was us not expressing ourselves. or not being "sensitive" to your feelings. and we get into a new relationship, thinking..we'll correct that. and you're ass wants us to go back to being nonchalant pricks. and not to go from one extreme to the other. there is a middle ground. but usually the middle ground is not enough. we're either too sensitive or too insensitive. y'all usually don't grant us a middle ground.
but to be completely honest with you, a woman needs to worry more when a guy starts acting like he doesn't care..because usually that's an indication that he's not that interested in her. because generally most of us when we're trying to impress you are trying to show you we're not jerks. and maybe we'll slip back into jerk mode every now and then. but if a guy has switched from caring sometime to caring no time. he has one or both feet out the door..
#3: he dances with wolves..
like really dances with them, in ballet shoes. some guys are the kind that cry in the shower. some of them do tear up during movies. call you with a nervous breakdown when someone criticizes their work, opinion, their clothing choice for the day. some of them do "care too much about everything". this one really isn't that confusing. y'all aren't dumb. you know the kind of guy you're dealing with. if you get with a guy who is acts more sensitive than your baby sister, you want to be with that dude. some of you women nurture that. you allow him to tap into and let his feminine side flow. and that's what you want. say you don't like it, act like it bothers you. but some of you would rather be the "strong one" in the relationship. it makes you feel better about yourself and allows you to feel in control. don't play dumb just because it embarrasses you sometimes. he acts like this in public..so we know he must wear dresses when y'all at home together.
#2: everyone has feelings..
just cause we're guys, doesn't mean you get a pass to treat us like shit. i'm not a punk, if i get offended by something you said about me or to me. it's because you shouldn't say offensive shit about me or to me. if you say,
"i don't like that shirt on you..."
fine. i can deal with that. but if you say,
"i don't like your face..".
that's not ok. if you're always talking shit about him. always downing him. always pointing out things you don't like. complaining. he's not being sensitive for having a problem or taking offense. he's being a person. no one wants to be on the end of negative comments. maybe you're hitting on an insecurity. maybe you're creating an insecurity. women think they can say anything to a guy, and he should just "get over it". yet if he was to say anything remotely close to what you said you'd be crying, cursing, and ready to fight.
#1: he treats you too well..
and you're not used to that shit. unfortunately a lot of you women have encountered guys who don't give 2 fucks about you. you've been in a relationship with a guy who wouldn't tell you how he felt about a tv show he was watching, let alone how he felt about you. and you get conditioned to think that all guys are nonchalant about their feelings. or maybe your dad was cold. maybe your brothers have convinced you that "guys just don't care...". either way..you think just because you've never been with someone who can share his feelings that they shouldn't do it. to each their own. if a guy is "too sensitive", go find you a guy who's not. but once you find him...don't get mad that he's not sensitive.
and don't use clouded judgement when someone is being open with you. maybe you don't trust it. maybe you don't know how to respond, or how to receive it. but be honest about it yourself. if it's you...then admit it's you. stop trying to make a dude seem like he's "overdoing it" because you've never had a guy treat you a certain way before. this is what makes guys mistreat the next girl (who might be you). it also is what makes them treat the next girl 100x better than they treated you. so be careful...you're inexperience towards a "sensitive" guy could be blessing the next chick with the kind of guy she's been waiting for...