Tuesday, July 19, 2011
i'm an awful dad...
i mean seriously, it was a great trip. but i just felt like we could have done more if they wouldn't have acted like they were 90 years old. taking their time. needing to eat 4+ meals a day. complaining about lines, heat..etc.
just needed them to be hardcore like they used to be and suck it up for the kid. i mean..i didn't enjoy my skin sizzling in the sun, nor the rude inpatient parents bumping into me, or the 30 minute-hour waits either..but i was going to go gangster for my son and make this experience fantastic for him.
so why am i an awful dad? cause i made a huge, gigantic, horrific mistake. someone told me (someone = my dad)...that i had ridden space mountain before. and being a dude who has never ridden on a roller coaster. i mean not because i'm scared. not because i have heart problems, pregnant, or any of the other reasons listed for people not to ride. i just never have been interested in them. going extremely fast while upside down, sideways, backwards, suspended in air..just has never "done it for me". so me thinking that disney was a kid friendly place, full of family rides. and trusting my dad's memory and the fact that he wouldn't lie to me. got a fast pass for the ride. one for me & one for my son. we went and rode numerous rides. and when it was time to go back to space mountain...we we're ready. we skipped the lines. walked in. i got a little worried when i saw we weren't able to sit next to each other due to the ride being front to back not side to side. but i notice people with their bags, hats, etc..getting on the ride. when the ride took off it didn't seem fast or bumpy at all. so we got on the ride. i sat in the front because i didn't want him to sit in the front of the ride, so when i say my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when i saw that first drop before it turned into darkness...trust me. i was like, "oh.....shit".
i swore my son was going to be freaking out. scared. crying. vomiting. on the verge of a heart attack..etc. all i could do is scream, "close your eyes". and try to talk to him throughout the whole ride. to say that was the scariest few minutes of my life, would be the greatest understatement of my life. i have never been more scared then i was at that moment. and no it wasn't of the roller coaster. it was because i put him on this ride. what in the hell had i done? how the hell could i be so stupid to not realize what this damn ride was. i felt like the worst father in the world. i still kinda, do. i felt so helpless, like i couldn't stop it. i couldn't get him off that ride. i couldn't protect him.
as soon as the ride was over, i looked at him and asked him if he was ok. he said he was. and just hopped off the ride. i kept asking him, hugging him, checking on him. he told me, it was scary & fast. but shortly afterwards he was back into trying to track down mickey mouse. everyone i keep talking to keeps telling me to stop beating myself up over it. but i truly will be apologizing to him for the rest of his life.