Sunday, May 22, 2011
let go & let GOD
i know cause they depressed me as i was writing them. but i needed to get that off my chest. and out of my system. right now, i still feel some kinda way. but i decided to let go, and let God handle it.
i finally spoke to my chick. got what i needed to off my chest. and if a little time of clarity helps us GREAT. if it doesn't i'm not even gonna worry about it right now.
i told myself before all of this happened that it was time to get myself together. time to dedicate myself to taking care of myself. i want to lose about 50lbs. i have a full attack plan to make that happen. i start tonight at midnight. a lot of people think i'm bullshitting because i've been saying for a while i need to lose weight. but this time i'm really going to give it 100%. not that 50% this day, 80% this day, 12% that day. this is going to be for me. not anyone else. i'm going to also take my health more seriously.
as you guys know i have MS. and i really shouldn't have this extra weight on me anyway. although the extra weight is a result of me gaining the weight. both from the medications and just being plain ol' depressed i have something i'll never be cured of. i'm accepting it now, and i'm going to work to doing better to take care of it. starting with the diet. then i'm going to start tonight taking my injections EVERY day, instead of skipping days at a time. i'm going to get me a new doctor and i'm going to stay on top of this. it's a pain in the ass, but i'd rather it be a pain in the ass for me then for my son or parents to have to be taking care of me if it gets worse. so....
i'm starting today with a new attitude. tonight with a new workout plan. and tomorrow with a new me. i appreciate everyone hitting me up. all your encouragement for my mini "woe-is-me" party. right now i'm in an okay space..and hopefully pretty soon it'll be a great space.
God has spoken to my soul, and i'm finally listening. it's going to be alright. i'm going to be alright. maybe the rapture really has begun. because i feel all holy...yanno what they say.."when heathens see the light...the world must be ending..". lol
i'm a good heathen tho. God knows my heart.