Saturday, April 2, 2011

manfive friday #74

warning manfive friday #74...for the grown & sexy only.

so...yanno how they say chicken soup is good for a cold. or how an apple a day keeps the dr. away.

well head..makes everything better. so much so that it will make you re-think, over-think, and not-think at all.

manfive friday #74 topic of the week: why do guys think head makes everything better...

"head" to a woman is universal currency. it's something she can't live without. something she can't go without. something she can't say no to. and if she says no, it's simply because you're not that good at it. it took a while, but men have finally figured this shit out.the days of..."i don't eat..." are over.

you've seen raheem devaughn's "single" video? trey songz "invented sex" video. chris brown's "no bullshit" video. tyrese in babyboy making taraji stutter till she stops saying, "i hate you Jodie". head is the answer to all most of life's problems.

don't believe me?

  • if you're hungry
  • if you're thirsty
  • if you're bored
  • if you're broke
  • if you're mad
  • if you're happy

i could go on for days & days...instead i'll just get into the 5 reasons why guys think head makes things better.


#5: it increases his chances of getting some...

ok..the light bulb appeared over our heads. we forgot to circle, circle, dot, dot..or take our cootie shot. cause we got it. like i said, men finally get it. it has finally sunken in...head for you ladies is like superbowl sunday, everyday. like playing your last dollar and winning the lotto. like getting a promotion, on your first day at work. head is actually something you enjoy more than we do.

and now that we know that. head is more popular than tom on myspace. yanno why? cause it's like the secret password we always tried to figure out. it's like sign language for "open sesame". a little attention down there and we can pretty much stamp our own passport to "inside-you-land". no more do we have to beg you to just kiss it. no longer do we have to ask if we can just put it in...no longer do the words no, leave your lips. and if it does..it's before.."don't stop..".


#4: it like a sleeping pill...

head is the cure for insomnia. from a medical standpoint it's like physical therapy. it's like nyquil, ambien, and the itis rolled into one. you get some good head, romp around for a bit...and you're out for the count. i mean that heavy sleep. that snoring like texas chainsaw. wake up with drool all over your pillow sleep.

"i'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed" -j.holiday "bed"

after the shivering, shaking, wiggling, squeezing, up, down, round & around...y'all be tired as a motherf#%er. good head for a woman is equivalent to running a marathon. it's just like working a 12-18 hour shift. it's as draining as a bathtub with the water running. you women are no match for a head monster. no matter what you say, think, or utter...you're gonna lose.


#3: it's your kryptonite...


it's your weakness. head, has been known to cause amnesia. sometimes you forget where you are. how you got there. what you did/didn't do. it'll make you forget we didn't pay the rent. or we forgot your birthday. or we were looking at your best friend's ass. it has been known to make you forget what you were mad about. it has been known to be the first step to forgiveness. it has been known to override a "i hate you", "let's break up", and the oh so famous use of the word, "no".


#2: it's an ego stroker...

it's a compliment. it's like gold stars, trophies, a cookie..etc. knowing that you're putting it down so good that she won't be walking straight for a week. knowing she fell off the bed. hearing her screaming, moaning, yelling, cursing, scratching, kicking, pulling, squirming..enjoying herself.

pleasing you, pleases him (that is if he's not a selfish mofo). and it makes him feel good he can make you feel good. it also makes him feel good when you make him feel good.


 #1: it's an attitude adjuster... 

it totally changes your mood. it totally makes you feel better about things. if you're getting out of hand, a little head gets you back into line. if you wake up grumpy, a little head puts a smile on your face. if you're feeling sad, a little head turns your tears of sadness into tears of joy. if you're mad, a little head makes you temporarily forget what you're mad about it.

either way, sounds like a win/win situation to me.

10 comments:

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

You know what? When I first started reading this, I was halfway paying attention so my brain was elsewhere...LOL! I agree though that great head will change your LIFE!! "Imma cook, Imma clean" a la Yvette from Baby Boy. Whippin' up cheese omelettes, folding clothes with a smile, ironing his work shirts when you HATE ironing lol. Anywho, I'd rather give than receive though. HUGE advocate #ThatIsAll

Monique said...

First off, love the picture with this post.LOL That video speaks volumes!

Honestly, I've never received head to the point that it puts me to sleep or moves my world. I've had good but not mindblowing. Obviously I'm missing out. LOL

You are so right about it putting a man to sleep though. Ladies if you ever just want him to shut up, give him some "knowledge" and watch him fall out.

F said...

hahahaha... LOL at the point about deep sleep... I love the fact that you pointed out that GOOD head does this. Unfortunately, some men still don't know the difference and having someone flopping around there who doesn't know what he's doing... Well... That doesn't make you forget why you're mad. It just makes you even more mad, and oh... FRUSTRATED as well. This post was funny, I liked it.

luvlymskrissy said...

Good job buddy :) that is all. Lol

Pamieka Adams said...

lol... Good head does do some things.. to both women and men. Good post

sunshinestar110 said...

i ws scared to even open this one up and that pic...yessss....I'm like Starrla i wanted to pay attention but my mind ws elsewhere lol...Now head and good head will change your life, day, and week...I know it has made me totally forget about why i was and or what in the hell i was doing before that moment! lol

lovely said...

this is true. lol.

but i hate to be teased with head...if you gon start, don't stop til you finish!

Eyes On The Prize (eyesOTP) said...

Good head is a killa! But like someone said above, you gotta know what you're doing. Like I said on my blog, "just because your face is wet don't mean that you're doing a good job."

*wink*

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@starrla monae: yea i'm a huge advocate of that too..and i agree good head/sex will have you doing all kinda shit.

@monique: i command you to go get some good head then. go right now..

@f: where do y'all be finding these dudes at? i understand that women are different. if he ain't doing it right..let him know. most dudes want to get the desired effect from doing it good. it just being "aiight" is why it takes so long and they don't want to do it. i can't say the same for you ladies cause usually if you're doing it good it won't take long. and if it does it's cause he's trying to "make it last forever"

@pamieka adams: thanks, and yes it does..

@sunshinestar110: lol..why you skurred DC?

@lovely: i'm actually the opposite..i like to be teased. hate when it's used as a sex shortcut.

@eyesOTP: lol..i agree. i have a desired reaction i look for in women. if they don't give it to me then i'm not satisfied with my performance. i'll usually do it till i get it.

Tauni said...

Head monster lol! Thanks for the smile;) >T<