Friday, April 8, 2011

manfive friday # 75

there used to be a time where men were strong. men were rugged. men were the bread winners. providers. protectors.

then something went wrong. not sure what it was, or exactly when it started going berserk, but it did. and since then it's spiraled into a world where...

women wear the pants.

manfive friday #75 topic of the week: 5 reasons why women, now wear the pants in relationships..

women have been picking up the slack for years. always the force behind men. usually the one driving the family. y'all have climbed over from the passenger seat and started driving. and honestly it's due to necessity. you ladies have had to take the lead. you've had to take care of responsibilities so many men have left you to fend for yourselvess with. this is in no way intended as disrespect to you. but men need to man the fuck up. they need to stop depending on you to do the shit they should be doing. here are 5 reasons why dudes should pick up their pants and put them back on...

#5: y'all some debbie doubters..

once a upon a time women let men lead. women trusted men to take care of them. nowadays...not so much.

you ladies have gotten to the point where y'all are in "dti" mode. that's the mode where y'all want a man to take care of you. y'all want him to be a provider. y'all want him to be able to do things for you. but at the same time, you just "don't trust it" (dti). you see him working hard. you see him struggling selling those cell phones at t-mobile. you see him hustling on his grind working in the mail room. you see his potential and the direction he's trying to be in. but you just don't trust that shit. you like nice shit. you want a nice house. you want to be comfortable. so you realize you're gonna have to run this show. so you go to the dresser, get his pants, put them on and roll out...

a lot of you women wear the pants because you can't be patient. you don't have faith in his ability to take care of things. or you are under the impression that "no one is going to take care of me, but me..". either way this is the reason a lot of men are standing around with no pants.

#4: y'all are control freaks..

this goes along with being a debbie doubter, but goes a step further. there are some women who just want to wear the pants too. like even if the dude is taking care of things, your shaving your armpits/legs, "i'm super independent" asses would stomp yourselves into the ground like rumplestilskin before you'd let a man tell you what to do.

it's not even about "telling you what to do". i assume you know i'm speaking about grown individuals who respect, trust, and love one another. not your bum ass boyfriend who tries to tell you how to dress, how to look, or where you can go. and when i say let a man be a man in the relationship, i mean allow him to take care of you. some of you women are not willing to let your guard down enough to let a man who wants to provide and give you things, do just that. some of you see letting him be in charge as you being inferior, instead of trusting him to make decisions that both of you agree on. same way you let his ass get up in the middle of the night when you hear a noise. or send him in to kill the spider/roach in the bathroom. same way you want him to pay for dinner. do any of those things make you feel inferior? stop picking stupid battles.  trust him. trust that he has your best intentions in mind, and stop thinking that it's a competition. please let that man have his balls & pants back...

#3: you confuse taking care of your man, with actually
taking care of him like he's you're child..

you ever got with a dude who just didn't get he should be doing shit? he's gone from living with his mama to moving into your place. maybe his mama started the false reality. but you continuing to baby a grown as individual is beyond ridiculous. a lot of you ladies have taken these dudes abilities to be men away by treating them like boys.

if you're working and he's sitting around your house not doing's your fault

that man is taking advantage of you, because you're letting him. you're coddling him. you're getting up early taking your child to daycare while this grown ass dude is laying up in your place not paying shit. the fuck you taking the kid's to daycare for..his ass should be watching them. reading them books and shit. making grilled cheese sandwiches, playing the whole daddy daycare role. instead he's laid up playing x-box and asking you what you gonna cook when you get off work. got on the pants. the clown pants cause his ass is clowning you. make his ass get up and put on some pants and get a damn job. he don't have to support y'all, but he can at least cut the grass..flip a burger, something..

#2: y'all intimidate them..

ok, now this one isn't you fault. a lot of times, men stand down when they see a woman who has her shit together. it's not about y'all being a control freak. in fact a lot of you are willing to let a man step in and take over that role for you. but sometimes insecurity makes them unable to step up. it's the feeling that he isn't smart enough. he doesn't have enough. he can't offer you the things you deserve or even the things he wants you to have. he can't "wear the pants" because they just don't fit. you have set a standard he isn't able or willing to live up to.

#1: those skinny jeans cut off circulation to his nuts..

yes, not only is he acting like a punk, he's also literally wearing your pants.... he just isn't stepping up and being a man. which leaves you women with the dilemma...either you "man up" as the woman and take on his role or you sit back and let this punk prance around with no balls and smaller dick than yours.

traditionally, men have forgot that to be in charge you have to take care of shit. so instead you got a bunch a dudes running around like they running shit, but the only shit they running is their mouth. dudes running around with kids they aren't taking care of. no jobs, no goals, no ambition, no way of taking care of himself let alone another person. dudes using strength, words, and size to intimidate, because they feel inferior to you. they just don't know how to be men. maybe blame it on the absence of fathers. blame it on the overbearing mothers. blame it on the women who have wronged them...or blame it on their own ass.

at a certain point in life. as a man, you have to take personal responsibility. it don't matter what's happened in your life. it doesn't matter what you didn't have growing up. you have to grow up, and be a man. and part of that is recognizing your weaknesses, and not using them as excuses. biggest problem with men not "man-ing up" is the fact that they make excuses for why they shouldn't. and you women are right there co-signing that shit. stop it. you don't have to take off your pants for him to wear them. you just gotta make sure he plans on wearing some too.

the only way some of these dudes are going to be a man for you give them no other choice.


Anonymous said...

You know buddy, I've never wanted to wear the pants in a relationship. Its not my role and I know and dudes I've ever dealt with would want that to be my position. My current bf is dead set on showing me how a man is SUPPOSE to treat a woman and I truly appreciate him for that.

Untouched Jewel said...

excellent post.

lilioohpyt said...

*silently nodds* Unfortunately I belive I am moving into the intimidate them role....I don't try to but it seems most men act this way towards me. *shrugs*

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

I've been told I'm intimidating but it's not like I'm intentionally trying to be that way. I do want a man to step in and be a man. *sigh* One day...

sunshinestar110 said...

*raises hand for #5) i will say that is me! i think part of it is because i have been disappointed by so many men in that area that i just would rather not! and also my father always said don't trust a man to do anything for you do it all yourself so he is to blame too!

Like starrla up there i've been told that i'm intimidating too!i don't think i am i just know what i want and i'm not in the business to entertain something that will never be. I'm never trying to take mans manliness away from him!

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@luvlymskrissy: good. it's not even about roles. i believe women should be equals. so it's not a role i'm trying to force you in. it's moreso an pre-agreement that we're going to move together. and to move together sometimes someone has to lead. and the person who is supposed to protect you should be the one leading.

@untouched jewel: thanks so much. sorry i'm so late replying. been a busy few weeks.

@starrla monae: don't mind that. the right man will know how to deal with a strong woman. if he thinks your intimidating, he's just not the one that is capable of leading you.

@sunshinestar110: i don't blame your father. if i had a daughter i'd be like that to. but i'd moreso show her by the things i do for her, what a man is supposed to do. he's teaching you to be self sufficient, which is good. you don't need to just be depending on a guy to pay your rent. help you with this or that. but it doesn't mean that if you encounter a man who is ready to be with you. and wants to help you in those ways that you turn him away because quote "you can do it yourself".