Wednesday, September 9, 2009

man hair....wax it, shave it, cut it, leave it alone?


real talk, are men suppose to be landscaping their terrain? i mean i'm not a hairy guy at all. i thank & blame my dad for that. two traits i inherited from him, a lack of an ass & the hairless gene. now, not to paint a picture of a bald man. i have tons of hair on my head & most of the puberty areas. tons of hair.

but my chest is bare. my arms & legs aren't very hairy. it still (at 33) takes me a long ass minute to grow facial hair. in fact me and my dad have an ongoing bet. he says he'll grow a beard faster then i can grow a mustache. which i highly seriously doubt. i do have eyebrows thanks my my mom's hairy side of the family. which is one of my better features. but i'm saying....

under my arms. in my pants. lives chewbacca. seriously. i have been told i need to handle that if i expect any "top of the shoulders" treatment. but i'm saying. where do i begin? how could i take scissors, a razor, clippers to my family jewels. don't get me wrong, i've trimmed it up...but i got a feeling the request was not for a trim up. now let me backspace i believe grooming for women is VERY important. but that's because all of your goodies are "inside". so it's like a treasure hunt to find the pot of gold through the forest. for guys...our "junk" (should be) easily seen & found. so unless you're trying to have some nuts in your mouth...what's the big deal?

i understand the cutting fingernail thing. the putting on lotion. combing, brushing, cutting of the hair. brushing teeth. etc. i get that grooming aspect. but my man hair?...really?

what if it takes me a minute to grow it back like everything else. and i mess up. and i'm walking around with patchy man hair. that area is not an area where laughing is appreciated. could you take a man seriously with bald spots on his nuts?

11 comments:

SHESGOTTAHAVEIT. said...

LOL @ this topic. Trimming is all both parties really need. A low fade or caesar perhaps? After all, body hair is biologically there for a reason.

Cc.Denise said...

LMAO ... I always know I'll get a good laugh in when I read your blog!!! My dude is VERY hairy, but it doesn't bother me at all. It drives him crazy so he does landscape a bit, but not much Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me ... IDK. I'm all smooth and I like that he's not, but no one wants hair in their teeth. Nasty.

DruHil4Lif said...

This post had me "ctfu"... If I saw a baldie I'm pretty sure I would pack my stuff up and walk away. I mean come on, we aren't 12-years-old anymore... A trim to get rid of some of the dead ends is all a guy ever needs, in my opinion...

xxxx said...

completely bald is a no no but a trim would be good.. keeping it low is great... dont want hair all in your mouth and teeth if you do suck dick, but i mean bald is just gross we are not kids. now females i agree need to keep it waxed or nair.. i dont like hair on me at all.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@shesgot2haveit: that's what i'm saying. there has to be a reason why my hair JUST grows there. must be hella important and shit. why chicks think you can fade or caesar cut your pubes? that's exactly what she said. i mean what blade i need a 1/16th?..lol

@Cc.denise: i'm glad you find joy in my foolishness. i get the no hair in the teeth thing, but seems like SHE could be a little more careful lol..

@druhil4lif: lol @ dead ends like it's hair on my head. i got you tho. you're saying i should just cut the strays...

@xxxx: that's what i'm saying. but how low is low? that's my dilemma.

Beyond Danielle said...

i think you could trim it but cut it off bald I think not

Mel said...

Just a trim. As long as it's not looking like Cousin It took up residence, it's all good.

~Sheila~ said...

I take it you are pretty much a clone for Austin Powers (You are hairy like animal! <--- I say that to Angel all of the time).

Geez, you trying to smuggle your own little tribe into the country through your crotch? Trim that bad boy!!

Elizabeth said...

man hair is sexy. I love it.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

@beyond danielle: trust me i'd be patchy before i'd be bald.

@mel: but cousin it...is family.

@shelia: no a tribe...just a couple. a couple of NUTS. lol (my lame joke has me cracking up right now).

@elizabeth: see that's what i'm talking about. that is the reaction i was looking for. embrace it, love it. i just want her to allow me to be natural and lazy.

~Sheila~ said...

LOL, I had to. Come back and read my comment again to see what you are talking about...NUTS..lol. Funny.