Sunday, July 19, 2009

how to spot a stalkertwit


some of yall might think i'm paranoid. but i'm dead ass serious. i have tons of stalkers. i have some who can't get enough of me. some who have gotten enough of me therefore want to keep an eye on me. some who are just nosy for no reason. some who are curious. some who are jealous. you name it, there's always a reason. so i kinda consider myself a stalker expert.

here are just a few ways to spot a stalkertwit. a stalkertwit is someone who relies on your stupidity to let other ppl know, "how you doing" & "where you are" to keep tabs on you. thanks to twitter, it's so much easier for a stalker to keep an eye on you from a distance.

i found my "stalkertwits" become too overwhelmed with this constant update of information that they tell on themselves.

how do you know someone's been on your twitter:

#5. they already know the news you got to tell them.

before you can casually tell them they are texting you lead ins to let them know. "so...how's you're day been?...oh really. anything interesting happen at work?...oh, i dunno like your boss was eating a tangerine some of the juice popped into his eye and now you have the day off?"

#4. they know the real names of your twitter followers.

you're reading your twitter on you phone app, they walk past as your laughing. you show them a funny tweet. and they say, "that sheila is hilarious". umm..how do you know @sheangel1019's real name?

#3. they make a reference to a mutual friend.

if you're RT'ed by someone that is a mutual friend. hell if you have ANY mutual friends then trust..they are all over your twitter. RT's make ppl interested anyway. you wanna see if there was anything else witty they have to offer. but if it's a RT from someone you know but aren't following that now just makes you wanna know about the whole conversation that led to that witty RT'ed tweet. so once you know yall have a mutual friend..say goodbye to your privacy.

#2. they know you've been talking about them.

but the only place you've said some crazy off the wall shit about them was on twitter. trust me if you talk about someone on twitter and they find out they come tell your ass right away. if they are good..they wait until yall next conversation. but trust, they aren't gonna let that shit slide. even if it was a sly remark like..."arrgh women make me so mad sometimes". her ass has calculated the time the tweet was made with the last time yall spoke. "yea that ninja think he slick talking about me..." i mean shit. i could have been talking about my mama. why i can't be broad with my shit? just cause we got off the phone at 9:52 and that tweet was made at 9:53. don't mean it got anything to do with you.

#1. they find you on twitter, but you never told them your @names.

this chick told me she recognized one of my friends "@" name because it was her name on another site and figure we'd probably be friends. so she happened upon my "@" name that way. i've also had MORE THAN ONE friend on twitter say someone asked them if @studiogenius was me. it's like how the fuck are yall ninjas finding me and knowing it's me?


these stalker tips can be applied to various other sites as well. myspace (site specific: if they have photos of you that you've only uploaded to myspace), facebook (site specific: if they text you the second you're status changes to, "it's complicated"), blogger (site specific: if they are arguing with you their side of an argument you just blogged), etc. as long as a stalker wants to find you they will do anything & everything to find you. my whole attitude is this. if you wanna read my shit, follow me. if you don't follow me and just read my shit don't say shit to me about it.

2 comments:

~Sheila~ said...

Well, I don't think I have any stalkertwit. I'm not as famous as you are. Unless you count those dang porn spam stalkers who keep showing up in my followers list.
I still think they came from you.
I noticed a jump in porn followers...or it could be the fact that I was trying to get you and @helpdeskace to wear sequined panties.

Who knows.

All signs point to you.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

i told you why i sent them spammers to you. angel told me i should step it up because you weren't catching the hint..lol