i hate my neighbors...

now before i even get into this...some of you are going to judge me. some of you are gonna think what i'm about to describe, resembles your life. to all of you who take this as an insult...i'm sorry.

so....

y'all should already know i hate my next door neighbor. i mean i am a quiet guy who abides by all of the rules of courtesy. i cut my yard, i try to plant flowers to beautify the mailbox and inner workings of my  yard. i take out my trash on trash day and immediately put my can back in my garage after i return home. I am a music man...but i don't pump music out my house like it's a club. i don't allow my son to play, run, trespass, or even look in my surrounding neighbors yard. i keep to myself. i'm not quick to complain or snitch. but when i say...i live next to a bunch of niggas. trust me i live next to the most ignorant niggas, of niggas.

if you follow me on twitter, which all of you who are on twitter should do (check right corner under tweet and hit follow...) you have already witnessed the foolishness i am forced to deal with.

(1) these niggas (and i don't use the word niggas in vain..i mean it) use the cheapest garbage bags in the world. i'm talking about a piece a paper could paper cut it's way out of the damn bag. they sit their 40 bags of trash outside the house on monday night. now the trash runs on monday MORNING. but they have already accumulated 40 bags by nightfall. how you may ask?...because the inside of their house looks like this ---------->

there is literally 100 of the mofo's living in that house. so many when you search for internet connections in my area it says, "nigga's wifi" & "niggas guest wifi". i'm not joking. they have TWO internet connections. which leads me to believe these niggas are renting the house by the room and shit. so not only are they packed in the house like roaches...they got like 40 cars in the driveway and lining the street. i'm sure even the kids have a car..because the car to people ratio is crazy.  but back to the trash. they sit their trash out monday night. and by tuesday morning it has found it's way to my yard. we're talking diapers, paper towels, cereal boxes, q-tips, cups, dead bodies...anything you can imagine. spread across my yard like it's my trash. and they leave that shit there till thursday the next trash day and ONLY pick up the trash in their yard. now...if you know these you're shitty ass diapers in my yard...why you don't pick them up? niggas.

(2) these niggas party on sunday nights. outside. music blasting. ask me why....go ahead ask me? cause these niggas don't work. now you may have tried to blame in on the neighborhood. go head tell me i live in the hood. go head, i'll wait....to punch you in the mouth. . . cause i don't fucking live in the hood. this shit is not hood shit. this is some nigga shit. these niggas are "renting". . they gonna make my inner uncle ruckus show up, and show out. that's all i'm saying... they play their music OUTSIDE in the backyard til about 4am on sunday nights. all you hear is cussing, talking, car alarms, and "...let me see that ass clap....." all night long.   then you awake to beer bottles crushed in your driveway in and in front of you yard. niggas.

(3) their bad ass baybay kids...so i'm minding my business. sitting on the toilet reading my shakespeare...when i hear these kids playing in my backyard. kids are kids. i was once a kid. and i have a kid. so i understand how they don't understand "this is my yard.....this is your yard". even though my kid understands that, but he's a genius so yanno i don't expect all kids to know the rules of common courtesy. so i wasn't thinking nothing of it. until i hear this knocking noise. i have to stop in the middle of my important business to stand up and look out the window to see one of those midget niggas kicking down the tree in my back yard. so what did i do?....i banged on the window. after all running outside in my current situation was not an option. they look up and start running away. so me thinking...they got the message. i finish up my business and walk into the bedroom only to hear them once more. so i look out the window and they have gone back to playing football in my backyard. i dunno about yall..but in my day when some grown up banged on the window or yelled at us we left and did not come back to the scene of the crime. but these are niggas. so i open my door....they see me and run in the house. then i see them peeking out the window looking at me. but me being a grown up. and man who thinks before i act...i told myself  "going to talk to these kids is useless and may cause problems...i'll wait for an adult".  i waited and waited...no adults in sight for days. niggas.

(4) now if all of this wasn't enough for me to hate these fools...let me tell you what i caught them doing today. i'm lounging around the house. all sleepy bear style. me and my chick spent sunday together for our birthday and she had a 6am flight (remember we're long distance)...and we were all about getting all our time in so we didn't go to sleep at all on sunday.  so of course monday we we're both exhasuted. so when i came home i passed out. i'm talking 9 pm....mouth open, drooling, snoring, dead-to-the-world... i awoke at about 5am like it was a new day but by 10am was tired again. so i was just taking it easy when i hear these chicks talking. now it wasn't the tv. and they weren't in the house with me. so umm..where was this coming from? outside....i look outside and these niggas are STEALING my water. they have a big basin and are standing on the side of my house filling it  up with water. NO LIE. i looked around my room for a camera and remembered it was in my car. but i had my phone.....so i video taped these fools carrying the water from my house to their driveway where they called this dude to come out and get it. . .

mouth          fucking         wide       open

so i go outside, walk to their door and what greets me? this gold tooth smoking mofo standing at the door looking like somebody's little drug dealing brother. so it was hard....i realized he was probably the oldest person in the house. but all of the adult in me just said..."this nigga is not the nigga to talk to about this". but i just went ahead and spoke to the boy to get my point across. so i'm like..."hey...i'm your neighbor. and i just saw you guys stealing water from my house". so he's like, "oh not me...i saw the girls go over there and i told them they shouldn't be doing that". ok...so this dude don't realize i got him on video picking up the water and they dragged it into the yard. i mean....come on bruh. why blame the ladies...i know all of my 4'5 stature is menacing but you really think telling me the girls did it is gonna stop me from whooping your ass? anyway to make this already too long story short...chick comes downstairs and tells me she got the water but this the first time...

"this the first time....". i had to say it again cause it continued to echo in my head. so i just walked away. shaking my head, but not before threatening the fuck out of them. . ."water is not free, don't let me catch you guys in my yard again..." do i think this scared them? no. cause niggas ain't scared of anything. but they have messed with the wrong one this time. cause one thing i am good at..is nigga proofing. my ass went down the home depot and bought water locks for all of my spouts. yea....they think they gonna get a bath of me tomorrow.....niggas you crazy.

post #4