manfive friday #65

so the question i get most from you ladies is, "where are the good men at?" and my answer is always the same, "they are out there, just be patient..you'll find one". and yall all give me that *seesmic raccon side eye*

jokes aside. truthfully there are good guys everywhere. you really do have to be patient. just like we do when it comes to finding a good woman. so instead of giving you the gps on where the good guys are. 

this week's manfive friday #65 topic is:

the 5 ways to prepare yourself for a good man.

cause let's face it. finding him is one thing. but what's the use of finding the perfect guy if you're not ready for him? so i'm about to share with you 5 things a good man wants you to do, when looking for him.


#5: start believing they do exist.

you ladies act like good men are like santa claus, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy..etc. you can't find one, if your doubt they're in existence. we're out there. we do exist. open your eyes, abandon your biases, and just have faith that you'll find one.

#4: check your friends.

alright ladies. you got that new dress. it fits you right & tight. you got your heels on, nails done, hair done, everything did. you fancy, huh? you're looking amazing. you and your girls go out and the only guys coming up to you are the ones who are getting in fights in the club. and you're wondering why, that is. well look to the right & the left at the hoodrats you got with you. one of them is currently "making love in the club" in the corner with some random ass dude. and the other one is screaming how she gonna make the guy at the bar her new baby daddy. . i ain't saying lose your friends, but they really fucking it up for you right now.

now don't go giving keke & tasha their pink slips so fast. after all they are two of your oldest and dearest friends. i'm just insinuating that maybe keke & tasha are the reason why you can't find that good guy. think about it. when you think of where they are vs. where you're trying to be. why are you wasting night after night hanging out with them? you need friends with the same mentality as you. sometimes we grow up and our friends don't. it doesn't mean stop being friends. it just means stop getting yourself into situations where you're wasting time in the wrong places, with the wrong people. if you're looking for an environment to find a good man, you have to remember it'll be an environment where there are good women. so stop trying to find love in the club. it's not there. men do NOT go to clubs to find good women. next, start hanging out with women who act their age. the company you keep says a lot about you. so if you hang out with hoes, people assume you're a hoe. if you hang out with ladies, people assume you're a lady.

#3: have something to offer.

yes, men love to look at you. we appreciate your physical assets. but we also appreciate your intelligence. your independence. your drive. your cooking. your support. you have to bring something to the table. you always hear a long list of qualities women want from a man. but then when you ask a woman what she has to offer it's.....*crickets*.

you ladies do understand that good women outnumber good men right? i admit there are a lot of good men out there. but there is at least 5 good women for every 1 good man. i'm not saying it's a competition. i'm just saying that when a man wants more with you, he looks at more about you.

#2: know what you want.

all you ladies who are not ready for a serious relationship. not really into commitments. still fucking around with "fuck buddies". still enjoying the single life. stop wasting time. you are the chicks that get a good guy and don't appreciate him. you not only waste his time, your time, but you waste the time of a good woman who is waiting around patiently for that guy break up with you and meet her. 

you ladies who are ready to find a good man. be ready for him. all the issues and drama from previous relationships. you gotta let that shit go. you can't go into a relationship with a good man treating him like that asshole you just broke up with. if in three years you want to be married, then you make that clear to the person you're talking to. a lot of women scoff at chilli for telling guys she wants to have kids, and it's a ASAP situation. but truthfully, that's the kinda shit you have to be upfront with. yea it's kinda crazy. but at the end of the day, the guys she's talking to know what she wants and expects. you can't be with a good man and expect him to wait for you to figure out what you want. after all, do you want to be with a man who is still figuring out what he wants? this isn't just about relationships. this is just life in general.

#1: know your worth.

this is the most important thing. this is what blocks a lot of you from finding good men. if you don't think you deserve better, you're the one holding yourself back. by accepting anything, you forfeit the everything you could have. let me say it again...

by accepting anything, you forfeit the everything you could have.

you ladies are your own worst enemy when it comes to this. you settle for less, then get upset when less makes you feel like you're not good enough. how many times have you said, " i deserve better than this"?. you can make a man, a good man...by making him respect you. by making him feel like you are worth treating good. you'd be surprise how many bad guys are good men and just don't know it. it's your responsibility to set the bar on how you are treated, not his. what separates a good man from a not-so-good man? a not-so-good man will just give you the minimum. a good man will try to go above and beyond where your bar is set. because he realizes that the bar is the minimum, and wants to offer you more.