Friday, February 25, 2011

manfive friday #69

i always find it weird that, some of you think it's uncommon for a man to express how he feels. a lot of you say it's refreshing to know men, "have feelings too". to know that we can feel more than just lust. to know we can say, "i love you" first. to know you're not alone in your "i'm so into you" stage. truth is, a lot of men are just too scared to say how they feel. or they aren't used to conveying it into words. you ever had this conversation...

you: you love me?

him: yea

you: how much?

him: a lot

you: how much a lot...

him: a lot

manfive friday topic of the week: 5 ways he's saying i love you, without saying: "i love you"


you know he loves you, but you want him to be able to express it to you more. you want to be sure of how he feels. because, "a lot", leaves much to be desired. so i'm gonna give you ladies 5 ways guys express their love to you without saying a word.

#5:they do things for you...

yanno how i say women do all the things you love in the beginning of the relationship to snag you. like they do all the fantastic ass shit that you love. they do all that extra shit to make you smile or feel better. well guys do this same thing, but we wait till we have feelings for you before we start being all considerate. we'll get up at 2am after you told us "not tonight" to drive all the way to your place to kill the spider in your bathroom. we'll go to that tyler perry movie, without putting up a fight. we'll pick up flowers, little gifts, & personal items from the store for you.

i'm not talking about tricking off money. i'm talking about doing & giving you things because they make you happy. best way to show a woman you love her, is to show her you want to make her happy. yes, you'll complain about the other 8, 999,999 things he doesn't do.but even you gotta admit him buying you tampons at 3am is on a whole other level of "extra shit".

#4: they're jealous...

now let me clarify because like i said men don't get jealous. we get mad, upset, angry....and you ladies know this, because you exploit it the fullest. it's one of your oldest tricks in the book. to make a man realize what he has, yall show us. and yall show us well. a woman will get herself together to go out with her girls. and you look at her and think...ok, 2 minutes ago you were sitting there in my sweat pants, a durag, and mud mask on your face..and now you hallllllle berrrrrry, hallllllle berrrrrry. now i'm not suggesting the man who is jumping out your bushes when you're talking to the mailman accusing you of cheating. i'm saying, when he gets his feelings hurt you going out without him. or that you're spending the night with your girls. or he thinks you look nice and want to know where the hell you're going to looking like that....

that's a love sign. he love you girl. that's why he calling your phone 3 times by mistake, after you just talked to him 10 minutes ago.

#3: he notices...

women always complain about men not noticing a new hairstyle, a new dress, a change up in style. not acknowledging the handwritten messages written on cards or gifts. women are so hardwired to think we don't care that you get surprised when we do. i notice everything. i can tell you what my chick wore the first time i saw her. i can tell you what she wore the last time i saw her. i notice when she's upset or in a bad mood. it's little things that say the most about a person. and little things that show a person you care. if he pays attention to detail. if he thanks you for the new bar of soap you put in the shower because you saw he was bathing with a sliver of glycerin. if he noticed you cooked him 4 pieces of bacon this morning instead of two. if he noticed the note you put in his pocket before he got outside the door to the car. he's paying attention. and you know most of us men have ADD so if he's paying attention, it means he's truly in love.

#2: he deals with your family, friends, exes...

truth is most guys don't care about your friends. could give a fuck about your exes. and only deal with your family, because it's your family. but believe me when i say, it takes a lot. most times your friends are going to be okay. i say ok, because unless they are friends your guy would have himself...he's not going to be as in love w/ them as you are...probably never. but there is always that one friend who is like your best friend. and has heard some awful fucked up shit about him, that you told her during your vent session. and now she hates him. but she loves you. and every time she's around, even though she may try to be civil. that hate just fills the room like an elephant in an elevator. yet, he still lets her come places with yall. he'll still invite her to things parties he has for you. he still recognizes she is important in your life so he deals with her dislike for him, for you. that's love.

same thing if you got a child with your ex. and he doesn't go and beat the shit out of him every time dude makes you mad or starts acting foul with your kid. he respects you enough to let you handle your business with dude. you loves you.

and for all yall who got them mothers, sisters, cousins..etc.. that hate your man. don't want his ass to come to nothing. don't think he's "good enough" for you and says it every time he's around. if that man still comes around. if he's still there for you, around your family. he loves you.

it's very hard dealing with other people in some one's life. and a lesser man. or a man with lesser interest will say fuck you & your mama.

#1: he let's you stay over and you're on your period..

i've said this before. and i'll say this again. sometimes it's not even about the sex. it's the fact that some of you ladies act like Cujo on steroids on your period. and it's just not a good look. yall are moody, in pain, and um..messing up sheets and shit. a dude who isn't just about the sex, and is cuddling the snuggling the hell out of you loves you. make no mistake about it.  



Anonymous said...

ah i always look forward to these. and one of my questions to a guy friend of mine recently was : How do you know when a guy likes you?

And adding to that friends and family thing, a lot of women let those close to her ruin a great relationship and I think a guy who really loves her will fight through all that extra bull shit just to be with her.

lovely said...

awww this made me think of my boo!

i feel you on #5. i mean i do think a dude should be nice & polite from the beginning. and if they're not willing to show ANY romanctic gestures at all in the beginning, what's the point. BUT if you are ronnie romance when we've just met...that's not attractive to me. waiting until you have genuine feelings for me before you start trying to give me the world makes me feel more inclined to trust.

#1 is how *i* know if *i* really love a dude. 90% of the time i'm on my period, i feel like shit. so if i tell a dude "naw, i'm on my period" and he says "so? we can still kick it"...and i STILL come kick it? that's how you know *i'm* in love.

lilioohpyt said...

dead at #1 comment "messing up sheets and shit".

I'm currently in the process of working things out with my bd after he messed things up by cheating. And for a while I didnt feel like he was really putting a effort into trying....after reading this article, I see its just we (me and him) see trying as two different things he really is and I just didnt see it until now and i will start to appreciate it...

Lastly, I'm a newbie to your site. I noticed that you used to update more often but now only update on fridays, will you begin updating daily again or remain only on fridays?

DianaBoss said...

Lucky you! You were about to get a warrant issued for failure to pay your blogimony.

Those are all very nice. Isn't it a little dangerous to allow yourself to take such things as expressions of love? I mean, maybe he's a nice guy and cares for you and does these things because he is nice and thinks you are nice. Likes you alot.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is the BF usually said it without saying it. Recently he's started just plain ol telling me he loves me for any ol reason. I don't know what's changed but I'm sure as hell not complaining. Lol

And stop cupcaking and get back to the damn blog

sunshinestar110 said...

awwwww...Atl! this blog made me smile a little bit because I am definitely one of those he doesn't love chicks but after i read this I see that almost all those things you said he does...awww maybe he does love me a lil bit!

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

@.chymere.: I agree w/ women assuming a guy will just fight or tolerate bs from her family or friends. That's a big reason men break up w/ chicks. One of those.."everything was so right...why, did we break up" mysteries. Lol

@lovely: thinking of your boo *gasp* in love & got a "boo" yanno I'm old school, I believe in courting & doing special things for a woman. But as the feelings grow the extent in which you do them grows. You may not bring her a flower everytime you see her...but you've learned 497 other things she likes & appreciates.

@lilioohpyt: first let me apologize for my laziness. Most everyone else is used to it. The only reason I'm not updating more is I've just been busy & too lazy to post something during my freetime. I promise to update more regularly, just been boo'd up w/ my chick, hanging w/ my son, & getting into some good ol' foolishness w/ my dudes. I'll do better, don't give up on me just yet. Thanks for reading.

@dianaboss: I know I owe'm about to pay up. And I'm not saying..let dude you just met confuse you w/ his like actions. These are the signs that someone you're with who thinks they're too cool to say it will give you. Def don't think 2nd date dude loves you cause he said hello to your sister. She ain't gave him enough time to hate her yet lol

@msluvlykrissy: I have you know I was not cupcaking this weekend. This weekend was all my son's weekend & next weekend I'm taking him to mardi gras. So don't be trying to call me out..I will however blog more since all y'all making me feel bad lol