all your girl-friends are excited and happy for you. y'all fist bumping, pumping and dapping. you come home and you man is looking at you like you just walked out a cartoon with a cat on your head.
manfive friday #68 topic of the week: 5 reasons why men aren't impressed by your natural hair journey.
now i touched on this subject once before. it was more of a rant and more of my personal feelings towards the subject. i got the idea for this manfive from a tweetversation i had the other day with my girl @naturally1908. she has a natural hair blog, and she was saying how this guy just came through being all rude & disrespectful. and i agree the things he said were both rude & disrespectful. but i don't think you ladies get how men honestly feel about your natural hair. i mean there are a lot of ignorant guys out there. saying, "i prefer weaves.." is stupid. but there are a few reasons why men don't like your natural hair..wanna hear the reasons? let's go....
#5: you don't consult us
yea it's your hair. and yes, it's your decision what you do to it. but about 95% of you women who choose to go natural, do so without asking your dude if that's something he's cool with. you ask your girl-friends. they all know like months, weeks, days before you make your final decision. when does he find out? when y'all about to go out and your hair pulled back in a bun or ponytail. and he's looking like, "aren't you gonna do your hair" and you announce it's as done as it's gonna get cause you're going natural. now i know what y'all are thinking, "why does it matter if he likes it or not..?"
imagine i decide i'm gonna shave a line down the middle of my head. just a all over part. about 4 inches wide. and i just show up to pick you up and that's what's going on with my head. and i tell you, "well it's my hair..and i've decided to wear it like this..". yea, ok. i'm waiting for the 4 liars that are gonna comment and say you wouldn't mind that shit. it's not about permission, it's about input. you care what your girls think, why not give us the option to discuss it first? not like we gonna go in depth and shit. just mention it. "i'm thinking about going natural". we'll probably be like, "ok". that's it. but at least it's a warning.
#4: the reasons....
"the reasons that here, the reasons that we fear our feelings won't disappear...ooh and, after the hair game has been played, all our illusions are just are a parade, and all our reasons start to fade..." -earth wind & fire/unpretentious narcissist remix of "reasons"women state they are going natural for a million reasons. but more times then not, i call bullshit. don't get me wrong, i truly believe there are women who go natural for the betterment of their hair. some of y'all do it to protect it from the harsh chemicals, the heat, or to make a statement. but a lot of y'all, are just going with the trend. y'all the same one's talking shit about chicks with natural hair 2 months ago, now y'all transitioning. so yea, we looking at your weave wearing, just got a perm 3 months ago, all your friends are natural now you want to be ass like..."yea, ok". if your reasons don't match up to this sudden urge, *jay-z voice* "we don't believe you, you need more people".
#3: we have no idea what you mean by natural hair..or we just don't care..
a lot of times, you women think we are more in-tuned with what is going on in your world. meaning we know what's hot in the streets for ladies now a days. you might walk in talking about you going natural, and he may think you're talking about wearing beige or tan clothes. you may mention it while y'all about to get into it, and he think you talking about shaving your lady hair.
a lot of guys don't understand or realize what you mean by natural hair. a lot of you ladies already have natural hair and we don't even know it. a lot of y'all are straightening your hair. or wearing it short, and it's not what we "think" of when we "think" of natural hair. so yea, shit that we don't know/understand about..we tend not to like.
you being on your periods = we don't like
you going out with your girls all the time = we don't like
why y'all can't cook & clean for us naked = we don't like
see how that works? if we don't quite get the gist of it...we don't like it.
#2: your choice of natural hair style..
natural hair styles are not universal. just like everyone can't rock a electric blue wig. or blond weave. or a bald head. what makes you think the style your home girl has is gonna look good on you. i think this is one of the main reasons why men don't like natural hair. i won't say natural hair isn't for everyone. i'll just say that certain styles aren't for everyone. not every chick was made to rock an afro. or twist. or dreads. or a fade. some women look amazing with short hair. some chicks look like dudes. please, choose wisely. please consult an expert. please see other chicks with your same facial features. cause once you chop it and make that commitment, both of us got to live with it. so don't think ill of me, if i sleep with your chopped hair in a satin pillowcase under my pillow, you're the one who left it on the floor at the beauty shop.
#1: it becomes your life..
you won't shut up about it. i swear that's why i hate it. if it's not obsession over beauty products. it's obsession over a style. obsession over getting the style right. obsession over everyone else with it. obsession over knowledge on it. yes, ok i now know the history of natural hair. so what do i win? do i get $100, a trophy, or even a cookie? no...all i get is to listen to it some more. great....
men don't hate natural hair..we hate YOU with natural hair! because you get obsessed over it like a sports team. like.."see my hair, yesterday 1/4 of it was curly..now 3/4 is curly..". um ok, it looks exactly the same as it did yesterday. in fact it looks exactly the same as it did 2 months ago. in fact..i'm forgetting exactly what your hair looked like before, but for some reason i remember it looking like...it does right now.
i admit maybe natural hair is a chick thing. even though most of us men have had natural hair a lot longer than you. you don't hi-five us and tell us how great our hair looks. in fact most times, you want us to cut it. cause yanno...most of y'all hate us "curly headed hoes" (what i've been affectionately nicknamed). but that's neither here or there.
what i want you ladies to understand, it's not really personal. we're not trying to rain on your parade. if your proud & happy..i'm happy for you. if you like it, i like it. well that may not be true. lol.....but if you're happy with it, then more power to you. just know when you're going through your natural hair journey..either allow/help us to pack a bag to go along with you or deal with our negativity of being dragged along for the ride.