my bed is my bitch...

so soft. so gentle. carresses and envelopes me in your grasp. i stretch my arms, stretch my legs yet..i am devoured in your clutches. i explore your vast range, moving from one side to the other. you keep me on the edge, and pull me to your plush center. 

you take care of me, so i take care of you. i switch up your wardrobe, keep you smelling fresh. i put a fancy top on you. and boy did you thank me for that. you lock my body in your memory and i just fall into paradise every time i lay on top of you. i must admit it feels so good, it almost feels wrong. the only thing missing is my beloved pillow. if i had her, i would love you long time. love you like a fat kid loves cake. yet, every time i finally get in my groove with you. when i've worked you out and worked myself in you...that damn alarm clock starts bitching. 

i swear, i don't love that hoe. but she keeps calling my name as soon as i get deep off into you. sometimes i get up and try to calm her. i rub her head to put her back to sleep. but as soon as i get back in you...there she goes again, running her mouth. singing that same song...over and over again. always clocking me and interrupting my dreams. she's a dream killer. and i think she's jealous. i think she doesn't want me to be with you. that's it, she wants to break us apart. it's almost like she's laughing as i get out of you and walk over to her in disgust. i don't want her...i want you. but she keeps trying to pull us apart. keeps trying to play us against each other. she wants me to think i need her. but i don't need that hoe. she doesn't comfort me the way you do. if you want me to choose, i choose you. forever and always.

[october challenge: day 14]

your friend want me...

you were excited for me to meet her. couldn't wait for us all the hang out. you wanted her to like me. and she did. 

a little too much. 

the first time i met her. the look in her eye. it was almost like you weren't in the room. that look, i know that look. the same one you gave me when you bit your bottom lip, said hello with your eyes, and tossed your hair back & forth. she touched my arm in that flirty way. did that "cute little voice" when she said my name. i knew right then..your girl wanted me.

she smiled..and said, you told her all about me. i bet you hate you did that. the lust in her eyes, pierced through my clothes as she undressed me and made love to me with her thoughts. she had already stabbed you in your back 2 minutes before she even met me, but you had no idea. no idea those conversations you two had about me...your feelings, your wants you confessed to her fueled her betrayal. blinded by trust and innocent ignorance you turned your back on your biggest hater. and she had her knife ready.

she's not your friend, she never was. she's never been happy for you. always tried to break you. she fed on your insecurities. then you went and gave her the blueprint to our relationship and she planned to destroy it. destroy you. see girls, like that can't stand you. they can't stand for you to be happy. to have anything they don't. and right now what she don't have is me.

i can tell you want to blame me. i can see it on your face. you want it to be me. you want to protect this friendship you've built up in your mind. and want me to be the bad guy. you want it to be my fault: maybe i came on to her, maybe you saw me checking her out, maybe i'm just a dog, a hoe, a friend-fucker. maybe it's me. it's true..you've known her longer. it's true..she's an attractive woman. it's true..she she can get her own dude. but none of that matters. 

 see it's not even about me. she's doing this to hurt you. she thrives off your tears, fears, and vulnerabilities. it didn't start with me, and probably won't stop with me. check her friend closet. there's probably shoes, underwear, socks, and pants of "your" boyfriend past spread all over the floor. i'm just the first to tell you. 


don't be mad at me, be mad at your girl. . .

[october challenge: day#13]

whoop-yo-ass-ologist

break out the board, dictionary, and grab some tissues. because i'm about to whoop your ass. yes, i am a studio genius. but i also am a scrabble genius. i have been known to beat people by 200+ points. i know words that contain the letters "z", "q", and "j" and i'm not afraid to triple word score them on your ass. it does not matter. grammar teacher. author. spelling bee champ. whatever your "word" claim to fame, i will own you. not just beat you, but own your ass.


this platinum scrabble onyx edition board, has got to be one of my greatest gifts ever. now not only do i win, i look awesome when i do it. as soon as i break out the board, people look at me like..."um...is it that serious". i am so competitive that everyone always knows what's up before we even start. shit talking is always at the minimal when it comes to me because if you shit talk me and lose....you will never hear the last of it. because once i surpass you...it's over. the silence is gone. i'll turn my letters around and let you see them. i'll let you point to the spot where i need to make a word. i'll pass and let you go twice, just to show you i'm not afraid.


why am i so good? i have no idea. i think maybe cause i jumble up words all the time in my mind that when i see a bunch of letters that don't make any sense, words pop out at me. like most games, scrabble is about skill. and i am a master at skill based games. you may be able to out "grammar" me, but i am way too clever for you chumps. i'll beat women, children, men, monkeys..it don't matter. if you got hands, and you can form words i will annihilate you. no prisoner.

if you got a girl/man..i will happily compete in couples scrabble. because anyone i'm with will have to increase their scrabble skills by 100%. in fact i've already challenged a few people. where you at...i'm ready. needless to say, i have enough faith and confidence in myself to know that no matter what or who you are...when it comes to scrabble, you will lose.

[october challenge: day#12]

7 deadly sins challenge is OVER.. .

thank all of you who particpated in this. (if i left anyone out, let me know)

starrla monae (person i stole this idea from)

sunshinestar110

monique

freckles

it's been real ladies..but it's officially over...

this challenge is a wrap. it was much easier than expected. and surprising how many of the sins, i'm guilty of..but not so much in a bad way. i think that's the thing we must all remember. we all sin. we all have things and issues that we need to work on, but at the same time..it's a part of being human.

love secrets...

[day #7: lust]

7 love secrets

1. i'm a sentimental guy. i save the notes, cards, letters, etc...maybe it's sweet, maybe it's blackmail..who knows.
2. i won't change my sheets...until i can't smell her scent on them anymore. i will sleep on her pillow, side of the bed..whatever it takes to feel like she's still here.
3.  pictures in my phone. i always keep pictures of the person i'm with on my phone so i can randomly look at them whenever the feeling hits.
4. favorite place to kiss a woman is...on the lips. you can interpret that anyway you'd like. as long as you like it naughty lol..
5. i practice sexting. the art of sext picture taking, to be exact. i want to know all my good angles for when the time is right. the outtakes are numerous & hilarious. don't be surprised if you get #21 then #342. i don't sext reckless (unless drunk), so bs pictures will not get sent.
6. i was a "secret admirer" once. i wrote a love note to a girl when i was in the 6th grade...i was shy and signed it "your secret admirer". she read it and wasn't impressed. she told everyone her dad was a police officer and he was going to find out who wrote it. and i was literally scared for months. i stopped talking to her after that, to prevent the chances of me being found out
7. sex control. the longest relationship i've ever had involved no sex at all. my first girlfriend and i promised to stay virgins till we got married. we didn't get married, but we did stay virgins from middle school till college (when we broke up..). i still feel like she owes me sex till this day..lol

wash me down...

so it's getting cooler out.  the grass isn't growing as fast. the leaves will start to turn soon. as the season changes, so do the outside activities.

i'm trying to remember the last time i washed my car. my car is white, so it gets dirty when the wind blows. and i've completely neglected to show my car some wash, wax, and shine love.

i remember back in the day. when i was younger. washing the car was a whole day activity. i'd get up. get dressed, just to walk out into my driveway, strip down to a pair of basketball shorts and put on a show for the neighborhood ladies. yes...washing my car was like porn in the driveway for the ladies. they'd come out, strike up conversation. act like they were checking their mail. just stand in the middle of the lawn like a garden gnome. those were the days. now if i attempted to do that today...the ladies would run back in the house, draw the curtains, cover their kids eyes, and probably run outside with a blanket for me to cover up.

yes, i could still make driveway porn..it would probably have a special category "out-of-shape midget" porn. needless to say, the days of me standing outside half clothed, muscles/abs glistening, suds & water all over me are over. pretty much cause my muscles/abs are in hibernation, they'll be back tho, soon. maybe.

so i guess my question now is.."who washes their cars themselves anymore?" what happen to those days where you showed you car some "self love". most people, either don't wash their car, take it through a car wash, pay someone else, or wait to get a courtesy wash at the dealership. no one physically washes their car anymore. what's up with that? i never see anyone washing their car in their driveway. i don't even see little kids washing their parents car. or the football team at the high school doing it to raise money.

the self serve car wash is vacant like a ghost town. no more are the blaring radios and guys blocking the vacuum machines for 2 hours while they clean and shine their rims & tires. no more is there a line at the "change machine" of people complaining the machine only gave them 3 quarters. or the old cranky man walking around making sure you're not filling a bucket with water to prevent adding .25 cents every 2 minutes so you can add 30secs. to stop the water from running out and having to pay $2.50 to start it back up from the start. we'd rather pay our amigos down at the car wash, the brothers in the parking lot of a restaurant/gas station with their "mobile detail" cars, or the companies charging crazy stupid amounts to wash & spray the same shit you could buy at walmart for $1.35.  what has happened to us people?

we got to get back to porn in our driveways.  i command you all to go out and wash your cars this week.  go make love to your car &wash it down...

[october challenge: day#11]

i'm guilty...of pleasuring myself..

[day # 6: gluttony]

7 guilty pleasures 

1. texting & talking on the phone. if i leave my phone at home i'll die. i always have it, if i don't..i'll go back and get it. it sleeps in the bed with me. it eats with me. i even talk to people while i'm taking a shower using my blue tooth.
2. women. i like em', i love em'. talking to, looking at, laying up under, sex, whatevers clever.
3. reality tv. the fuckery is entertaining. i'm more into game show type reality (survivor, amazing race, the competitor..) but i admit the most of the coonery that plays on vh1 is just as entertaining.
4. twitter. yall already know. #twitterkilling myself now.
5. cupcakes. i will devour any cupcake in sight. buying them are dangerous, because like lays potato chips...i can't just eat one. if i get a 24 pack..i will eat them until i have sprinkles coming out my nose/ears/and eyes..dunno why i like them so much. but i love some damn cupcakes.
6. music. it's pretty much my life outside of my son. my cd collection is out of this world. i have thousands of cds, records, tapes, sounds..two studios, equiped with instruments, equipment, speakers, etc. if i'm not with my son, chasing after a chick, i'm doing music.
7. porn. i like it, i love it. i want some more of it. i figured i add this since i was informed my site has been blocked by someone's work browser for being porn. so i might as well talk about it right?

help....my cousin's a metrosexual..

ok. so i'm sure you are looking at this picture thinking..."there is nothing wrong with what he's wearing". you know what..you're right. this is something i'd wear myself..maybe not that long of a scoop neck v-neck. but no, there is nothing wrong with the "outfit" he's wearing. it's the fact he has a damn purse.

and i know yall will say, "that's not a purse, that's a bag!". okay...how many of you ladies carry "bags" and call them purses? he is using that as a purse. and that defies all kind of man laws.

let me start by saying. i got mad respect for kanye. but the style he on....makes me look to the left. then to the right. then all around. cause i don't know why the hell he wears half the shit he does. but this post isn't about 'ye. it's about my cousin.
_____________________________
metrosexual


— n


 a heterosexual man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance and likes to shop

___________________________________________________________

 
so by definition, a metrosexual is a heterosexual guy. my cousin is a few months younger than me. i've been around ever since he moved down to atlanta for college. we (were) real close. he's married & just had his first child. i'm 100% sure he's not homosexual. this isn't a "gay" thing. this is a "siddity" thing.
 
it all started at a cookout. me and his sister were sitting around eating food, drinking beers, talking shit. and she looks over at his feet and says, "um...is that clear polish on your toes?". and he said yes. then proceeded to explain how he started going to get pedicures & manicures. so jokingly his sister asked.."do you get facials too?"..and he dead ass seriously says, "yes, i do". she looks at me. i look at her. and we both look at him and burst out laughing. see we blame his wife, because he did not believe in these types of things before he started dating her. he wasn't so bourgeois. now he equates his behavior, likes and dislikes, & grooming habits to class. i mean i should have seen it coming..i started noticing a change in his clothing. how all his clothes started becoming "outfits". now, regular dudes (none metrosexuals) don't wear outfits: there are uniforms, suits, or clothes. women wear outfits. what is the difference?..
 

 

in the first picture 50 cent has on a suit. in the next, he's wearing a white-t, durag & a fitted. the last picture he is in an outfit. there is no other way to describe what he has on in the last picture. you can't say, he has on a shirt and some pants. that does not effectively explain that shit. an outfit is like a onesie. it's components of the same "look" that all have to be there in order to achieve the desired look. so essentially it's one piece. yanno how you ladies will put on a dress. match the shoes. match the earrings. match a necklace. bangles. your purse. a scarf. etc. it's a lot of different pieces but they all come together to form your outfit. when your girl sees you...she'll be like, "ooh girl i love your outfit". and she's talking about everything you got on. yea..well that's what metrosexuals rock. outfits.

 

i started noticing how all his clothing choices looked like the dudes on the cover of the banana republic catalogs. he started wearing all sorts of pastels. suspect sweaters/shirts/snug pants. he shaves everything. at least everything visible i'm not all up in his business like that. his arms look smooth, his legs..he no longer rocks a goatee or mustache. he started shaving his entire head bald and his head was noticeably shiny. like he oils it. he eats sushi, chicken with a fork, and is a wine-a-holic. now i'm not saying these are the things that make you a metrosexual. i'm just saying, these are the things that make him a metrosexual. i think the straw that broke the camels back, was when he asked me to help him move some shit into his new house and he came through in some khaki pants, a long sleeve button down, and some loafers. this was his, "moving shit" outfit. um, ok. . .

 

i am currently planning an intervention for him. i just have to schedule a time to kidnap him, throw him in a van, and turn him back into a regular man.

 

[october challenge: day#10]

i'm greedy...

 

[day #5: greed]

 7 worldly material desires...

worldly possession

noun

a commodity or good associated with the earthly, rather than the spiritual, existence of human beings

materialism

noun
	interest in and desire for money, possessions, etc, rather than spiritual or ethical values

 desire

noun

 

a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.

 this is a hard one, because most of my material wants are satisfied. i'm a simple guy. i get things i want, but for the most part..i don't want much. most of things i want, that i don't have..i just don't get cause i talk myself out of it. 

1. my old house. it was everything to me. i dreamed it. i built it. i love(d) it. i like to refer to it as, "the house love built..and divorce destroyed".
2. i'd love to win the lottery or a game show. not really even for the money (well the lottery for the money)..i'd love to win a show like amazing race, survivor, minute to win it. i'm very competitive and i'd love to win some shit and have that title. "lotto winner", "survivor", etc..
3. more acknowledgement. not fame. just acknowledgment, accolades, appreciation.
4. all music everything. albums, instruments, equipment, speakers, if it has anything to do with music. i want it.
5. i love technology and i want/need...the new shit.
6. to flip houses. this is something me and a few of my dudes have considered a few times. i built/sold a few houses years ago. but nothing myself. i want to be involved..(cause i LOVE do-it-yourself type shit). and i'd love to buy a run down house flip that shit, then flip that profit. 
7. my damn pillow. yall think i was playing about this shit. i really want my fucking pillow back. (click here to read the backstory)

love sick. . .

i smell it in the air...in the car. in the house. in the room. in the bed, on my sheets, on my pillows. i see colors i've never seen before. shapes that i never knew existed.

fireworks. stars. exclamations marks. butterflies. goosebumps. chills up and down my spine. i feel it in my feet all the way to my head. it's like a cool breeze or a sudden rain shower. it just washes over me and i know it's there. all warm, fuzzy, and familiar.

then some days. i can't find you. it's like i'm playing hide & seek. yet, you're a good hider. days of laying in the bed. motionless. numb. void. cold, very cold. vacant. all i see is darkness. dark clouds. dark shadows. no sun.

no sleep. dry eyes. heart stained. pillow stained. everything hurts. can't walk. can't talk. can't eat. don't want to live. hopeless.

what is this feeling?... what does it mean? why does it feel like this? how can a feeling that makes you feel so good, also make you feel so bad? love sick:  sick of love or sick from love. either way, i must be crazy...

falling in love is a gamble, not a game. with games there is a winner and a loser. with love you have to bet on someone to win, or you'll lose. if they lose, you lose. if they win, you win. it's not a competition, so it's not a game. people who try to play with your heart, don't love you. they use. abuse. and neglect you. till you're sick of love. you don't want it anymore. you can't stand it. it's your arch nemesis. you hate it. the idea, the feeling, the possibilities of it make you sick. the taste is bitter. how can you engage in something that leaves you halved. leaves you scarred. leaves you defensive-less.  leaves you empty. over and over again. are you insane?...

all of that, to possibly feel complete. comforted. whole. to drown in the passion of a kiss. to shiver from the sensation of a touch. the excitement. the build-up. the future. unexpected dreams. unexpected wants. unexpected life, created..given..shaped. is it worth the hurt? you bet. i'd rather be drunk off the nectar of what dreams are made of. staggering. tongue tied. anxious. determined to make it last forever. i want to stare in the eyes of my destiny. my future. my soul-mate. you never know. you never know when it will be that person. it's unjustifiable to never give yourself a chance to be sick from love. to love so much and so hard that it consumes you and you breathe it. every breath in sync with your heart. you live, love. you love, love.  it is you, you are love. i'll forever be sick from love. because i love it too much to be sick of it.

[october challenge: day#9]