sweet talk week 2012

some of you may remember this from 2010. as you know i severely started slacking sometime in 2011 with the updates so i never got around to doing one that year. so since i'm feeling it...i'm declaring this week "sweet talk week 2012". 

what is sweet talk week? 

all week i'm going to touch on a different love subject.

it starts monday, july 16 

*if you go to labels on the right side of the page you can click on sweet talk week and view the first edition (it reads better if you scroll all the way down and read from bottom to top).

updates...

hello.........

i know y'all think i've been slacking. and you're almost correct, except you're not. i have like 10 manfives sitting on ice. they are all in my drafts and i just haven't been feeling any of them for #99. i feel like since it will be the last one before the big one i can't just put up any ol' shit. i want the anticipation for #100 to be so awesome that y'all stop bathing, eating, and working till i post it. well, maybe you can take a bath....lol

i'm also trying to think of some kind of contest cause i got an awesome prize (well it's awesome to me, that's all that matters) but i want to make it fair to everyone and allow even those folks who know me a little more personally to participate without it seeming like they have an advantage. so i'm currently working on that. 

but i decided to maybe do another sweet talk week. so something is definitely going on this week. not 100% on what...but i will post. about something other than not posting. 

so be on the look out. 

manfive friday #98

"slow down baby...you're moving too fast. he's pushing the brake, you're pushing the gas."

you ever fell in like with someone. it turned into "in lust". then transformed into "in love". and you're pretty sure he feels the same way. i mean you enjoy each other's company. you're compatible in every way. he makes your heart beat. you can't remember a time you've been happier or more into someone. but before you start sending out wedding invitations and inviting him to move in with you...stop, think..& slow down.

manfive friday #98 topic of the week:  5 ways to slow down & stop "moving too fast" in a new relationship..

#5: reality check...

first and foremost, radio back to earth and get your feet back on the ground and your head out the clouds. this may be "the one". he may be everything you've been praying, searching, waiting for. but that doesn't mean you have to operate in hyper speed. the one thing about "meant to be" is..if it's really meant to be, it'll be. you don't have to rush or be afraid of losing it. you also don't have to owe it to your mind the allow it time to digest what your heart already knows. it's very easy to jump in head first when all you see is ocean. you can completely miss the rocks directly under the waves. if you've loved and lost. if you've been hurt or been disappointed. remember to take the lessons from those situations and apply them to this. don't assume all the glitter to be gold. i'm not suggesting you love with caution. i'm not telling you to back away. i'm just saying allow an ample amount of time to figure out what it really is you're feeling. make sure it's love, not lust. make sure it's secure, not comfortable. make decisions that you won't regret or look back at as a mistake later. first rule, in slowing down.....slow down.

#4: get to know him...

everyone tends to fall victim to the "firsties". this is all the wonderful things you first notice about a person. their appearance, their mannerism, their habits, their lifestyle, etc. you remember what first attracted you about one of your exes. the things that made you think they were "the best you ever had...". and now you hate them and can't remember what the hell you were smoking when you got with them. those were the "firsties". the first impression. it's like playing blackjack or poker. and the dealer is only showing you a few of the cards on the table. you may see Ace's, Kings, Queens...but you don't see the jokers (bad cards) they have turned over. you need to allow time to see someone's full qualities...good and bad. it doesn't mean to go sniffing around for bad qualities if you don't see any. it's just a safe guard. probe deeper than what he had to eat last night. or what he wants to accomplish in the next few months. don't get fooled by the "firsties". before you're co-signing, moving in, and telling your girlfriends to buy bridesmaid dresses...make sure you know who you're in a relationship with. and that your confident that you have dug deep enough that you won't be surprised weeks, months, or years later.

#3: stop the countdown....

another big faux pas you ladies commit..is the countdown. the "i don't wanna be 30 and unmarried". the "my biological clock is in overdrive and about to time out". the "all my friends are married...". your life is your life. things will happen when they are supposed  to happen. stop rushing into things because of the pressure of the ticking clock. no one knows your life. no one has to live your life, but you. if you get married at 40, 50, 60..ok. if your mom is asking for grand kids, point her to an elementary school and tell her to take her pick. if you're the only single one among your friends...so what? don't rush into a relationship because you feel like it's just time for you to be in one. don't move faster because you fear you're running out of time. be fair to yourself. be fair to the guy you're dating. time is fleeting, and sometimes love is as well. don't max yourself out in a relationship because you're trying to beat the clock. this isn't a game. losing shouldn't be an option. you should go into a new relationship with the goal of obtaining everything you want, without unfair expectations based on time. don't cheat yourself...

#2: if your friend told you....


the "if your friend told you" test. let's be honest here for a second. we all have the tendency to judge our friends differently than ourselves. so i've developed this test...the goal of the test is to imagine your new relationship as your best friend's relationship. ok..so take off your blinders. and read this shit like your friend is saying it to you. imagine your best friend came up to you and told you...

• i just met this guy 3 months ago! he's everything i've ever wanted and we're so in love...we're talking about moving in together.
• girl he was so fine...before i knew it we were having sex all over the house, i didn't even think about a condom.
• his birthday is in two days, and even though we've only known each other for a few weeks I want to buy him the new i-phone.

now i know you're thinking..."no, not me". love can do some crazy shit to us. a totally sane person can lose their mind. if the smell of his cologne has you running out of the store to call him or you're already loaning him rent money. . .step away from the foolishness. if you'd take your friend to a Love Addiction intervention over the same shit you're doing...maybe you don't need to be doing it. always test your decisions. always bounce these "crazy" ideas off of friends who are going to tell you the truth. there is nothing wrong with feeling like you want to move to the next step with someone. just make sure you're on some stairs..not a ski lift.

#1: set a realistic timeline...

if you want to be married. have a family. move, travel, etc...set a time frame. realistically you don't see yourself married with kids with someone you met 2 months ago. so tell yourself as well as him that in 2 years you'd like to be married. you're ready to talk about having children. you'd liked to go here or there. but that doesn't mean it has to happen tomorrow. new relationships give you the opportunity for new experiences. it gives you the hope that things will and can turn out beautifully. so allow yourself space to let that happen. it's hard to read another person's mind. and sometimes it seems like you two are on the same page, until one of you make that move that gets you side-eyed. you can share all your hopes & dreams with someone. you can discuss all the things you want in the future....for the future. the best way to stop from moving too fast is to pace yourself. pray on it. be honest with yourself. and take your time. if he's the one, he's the one. no need to rush, he'll wait for you.   

You're not dreaming...

i am actually posting. 

yes...

This week's manfive is your choice.

(1)     5 things women do to make their man feel unattractive

(2)    5 ways to slow down & stop..."moving too fast" in a new relationship

(3)     5 reasons why a guy changes after you "make it official"

I'll post whichever one gets the most votes tomorrow. if none of y'all vote I'll post the one i like better. 

the choice is yours.

i hate my neighbors...

now before i even get into this...some of you are going to judge me. some of you are gonna think what i'm about to describe, resembles your life. to all of you who take this as an insult...i'm sorry.

so....

y'all should already know i hate my next door neighbor. i mean i am a quiet guy who abides by all of the rules of courtesy. i cut my yard, i try to plant flowers to beautify the mailbox and inner workings of my  yard. i take out my trash on trash day and immediately put my can back in my garage after i return home. I am a music man...but i don't pump music out my house like it's a club. i don't allow my son to play, run, trespass, or even look in my surrounding neighbors yard. i keep to myself. i'm not quick to complain or snitch. but when i say...i live next to a bunch of niggas. trust me i live next to the most ignorant niggas, of niggas.

if you follow me on twitter, which all of you who are on twitter should do (check right corner under tweet and hit follow...) you have already witnessed the foolishness i am forced to deal with.

(1) these niggas (and i don't use the word niggas in vain..i mean it) use the cheapest garbage bags in the world. i'm talking about a piece a paper could paper cut it's way out of the damn bag. they sit their 40 bags of trash outside the house on monday night. now the trash runs on monday MORNING. but they have already accumulated 40 bags by nightfall. how you may ask?...because the inside of their house looks like this ---------->

there is literally 100 of the mofo's living in that house. so many when you search for internet connections in my area it says, "nigga's wifi" & "niggas guest wifi". i'm not joking. they have TWO internet connections. which leads me to believe these niggas are renting the house by the room and shit. so not only are they packed in the house like roaches...they got like 40 cars in the driveway and lining the street. i'm sure even the kids have a car..because the car to people ratio is crazy.  but back to the trash. they sit their trash out monday night. and by tuesday morning it has found it's way to my yard. we're talking diapers, paper towels, cereal boxes, q-tips, cups, dead bodies...anything you can imagine. spread across my yard like it's my trash. and they leave that shit there till thursday the next trash day and ONLY pick up the trash in their yard. now...if you know these you're shitty ass diapers in my yard...why you don't pick them up? niggas.

(2) these niggas party on sunday nights. outside. music blasting. ask me why....go ahead ask me? cause these niggas don't work. now you may have tried to blame in on the neighborhood. go head tell me i live in the hood. go head, i'll wait....to punch you in the mouth. . . cause i don't fucking live in the hood. this shit is not hood shit. this is some nigga shit. these niggas are "renting". . they gonna make my inner uncle ruckus show up, and show out. that's all i'm saying... they play their music OUTSIDE in the backyard til about 4am on sunday nights. all you hear is cussing, talking, car alarms, and "...let me see that ass clap....." all night long.   then you awake to beer bottles crushed in your driveway in and in front of you yard. niggas.

(3) their bad ass baybay kids...so i'm minding my business. sitting on the toilet reading my shakespeare...when i hear these kids playing in my backyard. kids are kids. i was once a kid. and i have a kid. so i understand how they don't understand "this is my yard.....this is your yard". even though my kid understands that, but he's a genius so yanno i don't expect all kids to know the rules of common courtesy. so i wasn't thinking nothing of it. until i hear this knocking noise. i have to stop in the middle of my important business to stand up and look out the window to see one of those midget niggas kicking down the tree in my back yard. so what did i do?....i banged on the window. after all running outside in my current situation was not an option. they look up and start running away. so me thinking...they got the message. i finish up my business and walk into the bedroom only to hear them once more. so i look out the window and they have gone back to playing football in my backyard. i dunno about yall..but in my day when some grown up banged on the window or yelled at us we left and did not come back to the scene of the crime. but these are niggas. so i open my door....they see me and run in the house. then i see them peeking out the window looking at me. but me being a grown up. and man who thinks before i act...i told myself  "going to talk to these kids is useless and may cause problems...i'll wait for an adult".  i waited and waited...no adults in sight for days. niggas.

(4) now if all of this wasn't enough for me to hate these fools...let me tell you what i caught them doing today. i'm lounging around the house. all sleepy bear style. me and my chick spent sunday together for our birthday and she had a 6am flight (remember we're long distance)...and we were all about getting all our time in so we didn't go to sleep at all on sunday.  so of course monday we we're both exhasuted. so when i came home i passed out. i'm talking 9 pm....mouth open, drooling, snoring, dead-to-the-world... i awoke at about 5am like it was a new day but by 10am was tired again. so i was just taking it easy when i hear these chicks talking. now it wasn't the tv. and they weren't in the house with me. so umm..where was this coming from? outside....i look outside and these niggas are STEALING my water. they have a big basin and are standing on the side of my house filling it  up with water. NO LIE. i looked around my room for a camera and remembered it was in my car. but i had my phone.....so i video taped these fools carrying the water from my house to their driveway where they called this dude to come out and get it. . .

mouth          fucking         wide       open

so i go outside, walk to their door and what greets me? this gold tooth smoking mofo standing at the door looking like somebody's little drug dealing brother. so it was hard....i realized he was probably the oldest person in the house. but all of the adult in me just said..."this nigga is not the nigga to talk to about this". but i just went ahead and spoke to the boy to get my point across. so i'm like..."hey...i'm your neighbor. and i just saw you guys stealing water from my house". so he's like, "oh not me...i saw the girls go over there and i told them they shouldn't be doing that". ok...so this dude don't realize i got him on video picking up the water and they dragged it into the yard. i mean....come on bruh. why blame the ladies...i know all of my 4'5 stature is menacing but you really think telling me the girls did it is gonna stop me from whooping your ass? anyway to make this already too long story short...chick comes downstairs and tells me she got the water but this the first time...

"this the first time....". i had to say it again cause it continued to echo in my head. so i just walked away. shaking my head, but not before threatening the fuck out of them. . ."water is not free, don't let me catch you guys in my yard again..." do i think this scared them? no. cause niggas ain't scared of anything. but they have messed with the wrong one this time. cause one thing i am good at..is nigga proofing. my ass went down the home depot and bought water locks for all of my spouts. yea....they think they gonna get a bath of me tomorrow.....niggas you crazy.

post #4

who got the soap?

so most of you who've been in an adult relationship and NOT lived at home with your parents...have had the "sleep over" where the person you're in a relationship with spends the night at your place.

so i'm not 100% up on the "spend the night" etiquette, but i try my best. when my chick comes down here (remember we're in a long distance relationship) i try to have all the basic covered. she has a toothbrush, shower cap, aloe vera and other different chick toiletries laying around my bathroom. i'm not a cheater so  i have no reason to hide or put these things away when she's not around.
but one thing i'm so unsure about is the SOAP.

now when she comes i always wash the towel and have a new one laying out for her. i usually give her my bathroom too, because we shower at the same time before leaving out and if i were to be in the shower with her no one would be getting clean..if you know what i mean. so the soap that's in the shower is hers. and i always buy a new bar of soap when she comes down. even though we're swapping spit. savoring one another's body....well to keep this PG i'll just say "fluids are involved. something to me just doesn't sit right leaving my bar of soap in the tub or saving her bar of soap from her last visit. so without thought i'll just lay out a new bar of soap along with the towels like at an hotel.

but when she leaves i'm left with a full bar of soap. just sitting there in the shower. waiting to be used. so do i toss it or use it? cause i'm a man. and men can't phantom throwing useful shit away. so my ass be in there using it when she leaves. is this wrong....? or is my mentality soap is soap a correct way of thinking?

signed,
clean but, confused in atlanta

1...2...3...strikes you're out

so if you follow me on twitter, or pay attention to any of my excuses from the previous post. i told y'all my son is in little league this year. *proud father moment*

yea, a lot of you are like baseball? boring... and to many people it is. i guess i grew up playing baseball. well i grew up playing everything, except baseball was the one thing i could continue playing after everyone hit their growing spurt but me.

it is the short man's game. i played from 5 years old til i was in college. i actually was pretty damn good. and got a few offers to play minor league baseball. i opted for college instead. no regrets.
but i've regained my love for the game now with my son playing. first day out he was kinda "wah wah wah". that was pretty much the story with everyone's kids. but i took my son home and started practicing with him. first day he was hitting the ball, no tee. then i started throwing the ball to him, and showing him how to stop it. tossing it back and forth trying to teach him how to throw it. now my son is mr. baseball. dude has surpassed all the other kids to the point where the other father's are trying to make "play dates" so i can help their son's. umm yea. me and my son are on "no dude play date" diets. so as i turn them down i can feel the hate radiate off their children as well as them. i've even been named assistant coach in hopes that i will help the other kids. but is it wrong for me to want to focus on my son? i'm throwing balls to him then the coach is telling him to go to another station while i'll help the other kids. i mean all that is cool...i'm not saying i can't help the other kids. but helping them while my son is playing is distracting. i can't take pictures.and y'all know i am a picture taking fool when it comes to my son. so i'm stuck with my mom's pictures (she NEVER zooms in so all of her pictures look like they are taking from the last row of a rock concert) as well as my son's mom's pictures. where i am in half of them, but cut out cause she doesn't want a picture with me in it. lol. so all of his pictures you'll see my leg. my arm. side of my face. my back. me looking down...etc. so with the combination of those two...i'm coming up empty.

all jokes aside, i love it though. i love spending time with my son. i love that he's excited about a game that i used to love. and i'm blessed and happy i'm able to share this with him. i honestly felt that due to my MS, i might miss out on doing this kind of things with him. so i thank God for allowing me these kind of moments and memories because when taken for granted you never realize how much you'd miss them if you couldn't do them.

post #3

hey....my name is th@ genius

and i'm a hanging with, words with, & scramble with friends.....addict.

i admit it, i can't get enough of competitively beating the shit out of my friends and strangers. i can't help it! maybe it's my competitive nature. or my ability to "see" words in a scrambled mess of letters. maybe i have backwards dyslexia. or maybe i'm just a genius. because when it comes to word games....i'm the man. i'm leaning towards the latter although i'm sure i probably have some form of "aixelsyd" as well.


i know you probably wouldn't figure me to be a word fiend. i mean y'all know i like to write blogs, tweet ignorant shit, & pollute your g-chat with all types of obscene statuses and chats. but i'm serious about the word play. i've said it a million times with it comes to scrabble i am a champ. i am better than a champ. even my dad was amazed and SHOCKED when i beat him at scrabble by 200 points. i don't play. and now with all these word games out...i am literally running my cellphone battery down daily because i'm kicking word ass. i mean just ask...luvlymskrissy. i stay asking her ass to download the newest word games...


it's gotten so bad most my friends nor my girlfriend will engage me in word games. i must have beat my chick ten times in a row in words with friends and she just stopped playing with me. no more invites. no more mention of it. nothing. so i'm forced to play strangers. and strangers take FOREVER to play. which does absolutely nothing for my obsessive behavior.  i'm one step from standing on the side of the highway with a sign around my neck stating: "hi, i'm th@ genius, play me on words with...."

oh and since i wrote this so long ago...now i'm addicted to scramble with friends and folks are actually beating me so hit me up on that too. you might actually have a chance at that since i got fat fingers and keep hitting the wrong letters.

*sidenote: so completing this "shallenge" wasn't as easy as i thought. don't think i forgot or haven't take this seriously. to my defense..there was no stipulation on how fast i had to complete this. although i know you're (isis) rolling your eyes and doubting my sincerity. i've just been juggling a extremely productive work schedule, my girlfriend being down here all last month, my son in little league with practice 3 times a week and 1 on 1 practice with me and him the other days, him out on spring break....etc. yes, excuse after excuse. but seriously everyone at some point of time has got caught up with life and forgot they had a blog for a day..week..month..year or so, right?

but enough apologizing...this is post #2, of my most topic restrictive challenge.

update

ok so i suck. i'm averaging 1 blog a month. and i have no new excuses so *hangs head low in shame*

i logged in today to post some random shit and got met with all this new shit on blogger. i can't even figure out how to get to my actual blog without typing in the url after i've signed in. sad, but true.

anyway. i've been issued a new challenge from my girl freckles. as y'all know my ass didn't even complete the LAST challenge i had which is totally ridiculous because i actually wrote like 3 in advance and didn't even post them. so i'm gonna just time them to post then i'll look into this new challenge i've been issued. i may not be a timely mofo, but i am a finisher. and if i say i'ma do something. i'ma do it.

and yes i know the manfive's have been on the cusp of #100 for like half a year. i again, suck. i acknowledge that at the beginning of this post. what else do you want from me blood?...

anyway this is just an update. i'm coming back y'all i really am. with a vengeance. and it's gonna be better than Spartacus: vengeance cause that season sucked donkey balls and i really mean it.

manfive friday #97

so....your dude slept over. he gets up to take a shower and just as he turns on the water, you reach over and grab his phone off the nightstand. you notice he has a lock on his phone.

down-up-down-right-down-left

what is this mortal kombat? are you trying to "FINISH HIM". or are you just be nosy as hell with you super sleuth memorization of the pass-code to my phone. you can't remember i like onions, but you can figure out my finger movements from 300 feet away. #wheretheydothatat? apparently in sugar and spice and everything nice land cause all chicks have the remarkable capability of figuring out our passwords. maybe we shouldn't make it the name of our favorite movie. our birthday. our high school football jersey number. maybe we need to get more complicated and shit. my new password's gonna be your last menstrual cycle since you don't ever remember that shit. 

manfive friday #97 topic of the week: why you should never break into a guy's phone...

we've all had those moments. i was sitting on the bed watching tv with my girl. and this text pops up.

"hey handsome : P "

now. all you ladies know y'all use terms of endearment when it comes to your male friends. whether it's "sugar", "handsome", "hey you"..etc. but as soon as you see that shit on your man's phone, he fucking. or he trying to be fucking the chick attached to that text. i had to literally sit there for an hour, explaining, re-caping the text conversation to show her that it was just a friendly hello from a friend. those big ol' eyes death staring at me. maybe she believed me, maybe she doubted me...maybe she wasn't convinced either way. here are the reasons why she and YOU shouldn't use this situation to go through your man's phone.

#5:  ....seek and you shall find

okay, so maybe dude is talking to other chicks. maybe he isn't be as honest as you thought he was. you go shifting through his emails. click on his gchat. pull up his text messages. browse his contact list. check the phone log and you find..... "it" 

"it" = the truth. to some (i am in this bracket if the doubt is there) it's better to know who you're dealing with and what they got going on. but to other's it's a ticking time bomb. maybe you aren't planning on leaving him. maybe y'all got one of those "baby boy" relationships where you always telling Jody's ass you can't stand him, but then forgiving him after he buy you a smoothie and start kissing on you. you ladies need to leave this shit alone. if you know he cheating and don't care. why put yourself though the misery of reading all the shit you already know is going on? why find out the chick's number, so you can call her and look stupid. why read all of their exchanges on g-chat. see where he really was on tuesday night. pull up pictures of him and her at that carnival he told you was lame and no one goes to shit like that. if you go looking for shit, you're sure to find it. whether damaging or not. which leads to #4...

#4: let the wild goose chase begin...

so you find numbers, names, pictures...nothing concrete. he has a "good morning" text here. a "hey stranger" email there. a group picture of him and his friends and a random chick that happens to be standing next to him. he has 300 contacts in his phone and 152 are female. 5 female family members. 3 female co-workers. 2 are female friends you know about and 143 are random chicks that you know nothing about. so where the hell do you start? who do you start calling first? who "wants your man" ? truth is navigating through a guys phone is like navigating through the jungle in the dark on a bicycle. there is no right direction. you can call about 100 of those numbers and NONE of those women are going to be the least interested in him. if a dude is cheating. it's like 1 or 2 numbers all of a 100. he has every chick's number he's ever gotten cause dudes don't delete numbers out their phone. 

all i hear is chick's say..."i deleted his number, girl...". you ever heard a dude say he deleted your number? he'll say some slick shit like, "oh..i got a new phone" when you call and he don't recognize your number. this is because there are tons of numbers and after a while you'll have 2 tiffany's, 3 april's, 4 keisha's..etc so he don't know if you're the tiffany from college or the tiffany from his highschool cause he still got both y'all numbers 20 years later. looking through dude's phone without any real proof is only going to lead to trouble. it's like the matrix in there....

#3: you break his trust...

so say you reached over and grabbed my phone once you heard me turn on the water to the shower. and you're just clicking away and my ass walks straight out the bathroom and catch you. because ladies...until you hear the sound of water hitting a body...that nigga is NOT in the shower. i repeat. i personally turn the water on for at least 5 minutes before i get in the shower. i'll brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, admire myself the mirror, dance around..etc. but "water on" does not equal "in the shower". if he walks out to grab a towel or ask you something and you're sitting there with his phone in your hands....

S. M. H.

then what? what's your next move? i'll say this much...there are 2 types of dudes who leave their phones laying around for their chicks to even have the opportunity to check. (1) guys with nothing to hide & (2) incredibly dumb guys. cause if dude isn't one of the two his phone will NEVER be available for you to check. he taking a shit...he got his phone. he in the shower...he got his phone. he playing ball...he got his phone. only guys with nothing to hide and guys who are just too stupid to realize that women can figure out phone codes like macgyver can figure his way out of a death trap. so for guy #2....he's dumb, so who cares. but to guy #1.. he'll no longer trust you around his shit. 

#2: you were wrong...now what?

this is for you chicks who have a conscious. the one's who feel bad they went though his phone when they don't find anything. saw he g-chat with his boy about how much he's feeling you. you see his female friends respecting your relationship. you see he's been looking for vacation spots with the dates around your birthday. and you're really feeling guilty.

who am i kidding...now of y'all have a conscious. if you find out he's not cheating and get away with it y'all just gonna ease that phone back on the charger and roll over and pretend to be sleep. i see ya...

#1: don't sneak, just ask...

try just asking dude to see his phone. most guys might side eye you, but if they don't have nothing to hide they don't care as long as you're not sneaking to do it. just because he has a lock pattern or pin code doesn't mean he's trying to keep you out. these days everything and anything is stored in your phone. naked pictures, bank account information, email access, naked pictures...i'm saying..

don't assume that your dude is locking you out his phone. just like you have a password (cause most of you ladies do lock your shit up but be steadying questioning why we have locks on ours) he may have one for similar reasons. just be honest and ask him. you'd be surprise how easy it is to see what he's doing on his phone without sneaking to do it.